Tsubasa Chronicle Fan Fiction ❯ The Devilish Big Puppy and the Vampiric Big Kitty ❯ I decided... He Made a Choice ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer:

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles is not mine- it's owned by CLAMP and made by CLAMP. Kuro-tan and Fai-san will never be mine… Syaoran-kun and Sakura-chan were not made by me…It's a bittersweet thing…

Note:

Ah... this is not supposed to be a collection of one shots and it is not. It will follow the story line of TRC with maybe small sidetracks however; I can't consider it a series as well so I really don't know. This would appear to be a poem of some sort but I can't call it a poem either! Anyway... there would be lots of spoilers from the manga but the story starts with Tokyo Revelations. This would deal more with feelings so things would be confusing for those who does not read the manga. This would most likely be a KuroFai thing but it won't be yaoi...

WARNING: This fanfic is not as fluffy as the title

 

The devilish big puppy and the Vampiric Big Kitty

 

III. “I decided… he made a choice”

 

Who cares if he hates me?

Who cares if the smile I see be tainted with tears?

Who cares if he doesn't smile at me?

…

The heck-!

Who cares…?!

Have I not already admitted that I care?!

…

Who wouldn't care?

Who wouldn't be able to?

What sort of idiot wouldn't see?

…

He had made his choice…

I should have known…

I have already known…

I have already tried…

Tried to steel myself for this

…

Didn't I say I was stubborn?

Well, yes… I still am…

But still…

Being aware and stubborn isn't enough

…

I was surprised…

I knew he'd be mad

I was aware of his wish

I knew from the start that everything would change

…

It's just that,

knowing doesn't make you anymore prepared

…

He called me by my name…

It's the first time I heard him utter my name…

There were no modifications…

No -chan, -miyu, -tan, -pon, -sama

There was even no puppy…

…

It's not that I miss it…

It's not that I preferred all those names…

It's not like I got used to them…

It's just that, other than the stupid names…

There was no feeling of familiarity…

No companionship…

…not even friendship…

No warmth…

…

All in all his choice is clear…

He's distancing himself from me, the idiot.

…

Pathetic…

I can't believe I'll be this pathetic.

I know it shows…

It clearly shows…

I honestly don't want it to show

But, it shows…

…

The strongest warrior of Nihon…

Everyone would laugh…

Taken by surprise by an idiot with a smile

A very cold smile…

…

My pain…

I don't want it to show, and so…

I'll let this be… for now…

I'll let you do as you wish, for now…

…

My wish has not yet come true, I know.

Ahh…-

I must really be stubborn.

Because you see?

…

I'll make it come true.

…

 

…

 

[Fai- kitty]

 

…

I awoke anew…

It's not that I'm stronger

It's just I have a new power…

Another dead weight to add to my pain

…

I know what this would mean…

I know what this would lead to…

As I felt my anger leaking

I knew azure turned to gold…

It's a color I both hate and love…
A color I have very recently acquired.

…

It must be because of the change…

I can feel him.

I feel him near…

I can sense him…

I can smell him…

…almost taste him…

 

…

 

It's the scent of his blood.

…

Ahh… the signs.

I can perfectly feel the signs that I've changed…

I yearn it…

That bitter sweet taste…

Its scent, its feel…

…

Horrible…

…

How could he turn me into someone horrible…

Turn…?

Ahh… I almost forgot…

He needn't turn me unto something…

I already was…

I guess he knew…

Right from the start

…

…not any deeper…

Someone like me…

I won't-

I can't fall any deeper…

…

I was born at rock bottom.

…

Well, I guess

The only difference now is…

I am not just cursed…

I am not just a plague…

Not only a sign of death…

…

Now I'm a parasite.

…

A lowly creature with powers that cannot save

A being that can only cause pain…

…

Ahh- and pain I see…

At first, it was only shock and surprise…

Afterwards, realization and hurt marred his eyes…

I could almost feel guilt… almost.

I see him and my hate just run deep…

…

See his crimson red eyes that mirrored pain and dejection…

I see his reluctance and how deep the simple greeting cut…

It's just that… I could only see blood.

Blood in those crimson eyes…

And I almost seethed in hate.

…

I know that this was his choice…

I know that this is their choice

I know that they won't hate me for this but…

…

They won't regret…

Not now…

They are somewhat relieved…

For now…

…

I wonder how long…

How long before they wish me dead…

How long before their sighs of relief be turned…

Turned to sobs and tears…

…

The merciless hands of time won't stop…

The sand won't seize to drop…

Everything had been set into place

It had long before started to move…

But now…

The wheels are turning ever faster…

It can never be stopped.

…

I followed him with my eyes

This would be the first time

The first he turned his back without a single stinging word…

…

This is good…

Getting close to people

Just isn't something someone like me should do

…

As he moved farther away...

I just have to keep saying…

…This is much better…