Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ The D files: Dryden's Story ❯ Age 15: Marlene part 2 ( Chapter 8 )

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Date posted: January 21, 2006

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Where am I?

Completely disoriented, I pushed myself up only to smack the top of my skull into something hard. I rebounded so quickly that I didn't even have a chance to cry out before my face hit dirt.

"Oh yes... gazebo..." I recalled, spitting bits of loam out of my mouth.

For several minutes, I simply lay there, waiting for the throbbing in my head to subside -- and for the tightness around my heart to ease.

I had been dreaming. But it had been so vivid -- it was difficult to stomach that it had not been real. Though my collision with the overhead beam had jolted me fully awake, the dream still clung to me, like the cobwebs that held fast to the gazebo latticework.

Or perhaps, it was I that was clinging to the wisps of the dream before they completely dispersed into oblivion.

Because I had dreamed of Indigo.

In that dreamscape, I had been wandering, aimless and alone. The place I traversed was unfamiliar and enshrouded in fog. Then the mist lifted, and I saw her.

Her back was turned to me, but it was her, I knew, without a doubt. I tried to run to her, but my body refused to respond. My limbs had turned to lead, and my feet were as mired in quicksand. No matter how much I struggled, I couldn't move. I tried to shout her name, but all that came out of my throat was a pathetic gasp.

Then she turned. She looked so beautiful, her dark hair whipping around her wildly. She gazed upon me so pityingly that I was taken aback. Smiling sadly, she called to me, but the wind blew so ferociously it carried her words away. I could see her lips moving, but I could not hear anything. Desperate to know what she was saying, I screamed out to her again, but she turned around and disappeared into the mist.

In anguish, I sprang after her --

-- and awoke.

"What was it she wanted to tell me?" I wondered, absently rubbing the sore spot on my head. The logical part of me knew it was not really her. It was a dream. Just a dream. But still... I wanted so much to meet with her again that it didn't matter that it was nothing more than the vaporous illusions of my subconscious.

It occurred to me that it was the first time I had dreamed of her since she died. Come to think of it, it was the first I had dreamed of any girl since then. And it was very, very different than the other dreams I had had of her. For starters, those dreams had involved a lot of groping, the removal of clothing, heavy breathing, and --er -- yeah, like that.

It was almost embarrassing to think that I had ever regarded of her so shallowly.

I had come to care for Indigo much more profoundly than I realized, much more than I had admitted to her or to myself. Once our studio collaborations began, my interest in other girls evaporated. And now that she was gone, I could not look at a girl without thinking about her.

It wasn't that I was wallowing in the depths of despair. I was fine. Really. I was functioning -- eating, breathing, laughing, working, learning, enjoying, annoying. But I didn't have the same free and easy attitude towards girls as before. Certainly, I admired and even flirted -- but it was different. I'd find myself comparing them to Indigo, wondering if they could measure up to her in looks, wits, and fun. And...

I was scared.

If I had to be completely realistic, Indigo was my first kiss, but that was it. To this day, I really don't know how she felt about me. But still, it hurt so badly when she had died. And if it had been like this with her, how much worse would it be to lose a girlfriend? A lover? A wife? After such a tragic experience, I didn't know if I dared risk opening myself up to potentially even greater pain.

Completely melancholy now, I recalled how I had told Indigo my aspirations of love, of falling in love. My little speech seemed so naïve now. Love was dangerous, a much more dicey business than I had ever imagined.

Great. Here I was, a red-blooded youth of 15, and I was thinking like a jaded, cynical 50-year-old. Though I suspected I was not the only teenager in Palas with such a gloomy outlook. Despite his gallant façade, Indigo's death had deeply affected Trevor also. We never talked about it per se, but I could tell. And Eries had lost Prince Folken as well.

Speaking of Eries, she was probably gone by now.

It was dark, very dark. The cool of the evening had already set in. Choirs of crickets were in full swing. "Guess I slept a while," I thought as my attempt to move my legs resulted in a unpleasant pins and needles sensation.

As I waited for my numb limbs to awake, I hoped that, in my absence, an even greater fiasco had befallen Eries. Not that I wished ill upon my friend, but it would be nice for her to be so mad at someone else that she forgot she was mad at me.

I sighed. Even if she wasn't mad, I was going to get it from my father. Yelling at Millerna was a very, very, very BAD thing. The only good thing was that he and Eries would be obliged to not kill me at Marlene's party.

Speaking of which, there was no way I was fit to go to the gala in my current dirtied and bedraggled state. I was going to have to go home and scrounge up something else to wear. The dampness seeping in through my shirt front and suede breeches was a good indication that my clothes were beyond saving. My poofy sleeves had long since deflated. So much for Anita's pleated linen masterpiece.

Ironic how my attempts to keep Millerna tidy had rendered me unpresentable.

Grunting and shuffling, I inched my way out. Sufficient moonlight filtered in between the wooden slats and panels for me to make it to the exit without whacking my skull again. I poked my head and arms through the narrow opening like a turtle popping out of its shell and glanced at my timepiece --

-- and realized I was doomed.

I sagged onto the ground. I had been asleep nearly ten hours. The all-important banquet, the culmination of all the week's celebrations was undoubtably over. In fact, the cleanup crew had probably already finished and turned in for the night.

I was so dead.

Perhaps it was just better to stay put.

I was startled out of these delightful thoughts by a noise. Footsteps. And they were coming closer.

Alarmed, I hastily retreated beneath the gazebo. I really did not want to have to explain myself to a potentially irate guard. However, as I withdrew, I caught a glimpse of the approaching individual. To my great confusion, it wasn't a guard at all.

It was Marlene.

"What is she doing here?" I wondered, as she walked up the steps and seated herself upon the gazebo bench. Perhaps that was odd coming from me considering I was the one out of place here. The courtyard and garden enclosed within the walls of the royal family's residence were reserved for the private enjoyment of the king and his family, and this particular area with its flowery gazebo and adjacent pond had been designated Marlene's very own. However, it just seemed very strange that Marlene should be wandering here at such a late hour on the eve of her wedding and departure from home.

Insomnia from wedding jitters, perhaps?

Before I could speculate further, there was a swoosh and a soft thud, the sound of someone dropping stealthily onto the grass. Marlene was on her feet in an instant.

"My love --"

"Oh darling --"

There was a rustling of skirts and hurried footsteps as Marlene and the newcomer rushed towards each other. Even without the benefit of a view, it did not take too much imagination to figure out what to the pair above me was doing.

The tips of my ears flamed so hotly, I thought they'd spontaneously combust.

I couldn't believe it. Marlene was getting married tomorrow, and she was fooling around with some guy! In the heart of the palace no less!

Either the man was stupid or he had a death wish. I had seen Duke Mahad dal Freid a number of times this past week, and he was NOT an individual to be trifled with.

Ever curious, I wondered who this guy was. I didn't recognize his voice, but I didn't dare look. I doubted that a man bold enough to be sneaking about the palace grounds for a late night meeting with the very much engaged First Princess would have any qualms about slitting the throat of an unexpected, eavesdropping merchant's son and tossing his carcass into the nearest canal.

The very thought chilled me to the bone, and I scarcely dared to breathe.

"I was so worried." I heard Marlene say. "I was so afraid something happened... that you wouldn't be able to come --"

"Nothing could have kept me away," he replied, his voice smooth and rich as dark chocolate. "My love for you is too strong for that, Princess."

""Don't call me that!" Marlene said sharply. "Not you. Don't call me that, especially not tonight of all nights. I wish I had never been born a princess. Then I... I..." She sounded like she was on the verge of tears.

"Darling..."

"Tonight I am Marlene. Just Marlene."

"Marlene..."

"My name, say my name again..."

"Oh, Marlene, I love you so."

I had been completely deceived. While her marriage was arranged, and rather hastily at that, I had thought that Marlene had been thrilled with her father's selection for her husband. Aston definitely could have done much worse than the Duke. Freid was still a man in his prime. His features did not fit the classical description of Asturian beauty, but he was strikingly handsome in an exotic kind of way. His looks and demeanor had certainly turned the heads of several of the court ladies. And he was absolutely besotted with Marlene. Couldn't take his eyes off her and was extremely attentive as well. And Marlene for her part reciprocated his feelings. At least she had acted like she was completely taken by him -- the way she smiled at him and hung to his arm at the celebrations in their honor.

I guess I had much to learn about women, I thought glumly.

I listened as Marlene's companion made comforting noises. When she had calmed somewhat, he whispered, "It's not too late. There's still time. I... I could still take you away... from all this." There was a whimpering noise, and then, "But, why not?" Hurt and confusion were plain in his voice.

"No," Marlene choked out. She was crying in earnest now. "It's impossible."

"No, it's not," he insisted gently. "We can get away from here. Where Asturia and Freid would never touch us. I can protect you --"

His assurances only served to intensify Marlene's distress. "Hush, hush, my love. Don't you know? You're all I want, all I need. I don't care about my father's estate or his name or the title I bear. I would gladly throw it away for you. I would do anything for you."

"Then let me go."

Those four softly uttered words, and all his entreaties evaporated into agonized silence.

"I can't do that to you." Marlene's voice was shaky, but her resolve was firm. "I know my father, and I know what the Duke is capable of. They would destroy you. And that would destroy me. I couldn't bear that. It would be a thousand times worse to lose you that way --"

"But --" he pleaded.

"No. No. Please. Let us talk no more of this. Just... hold me."

He sighed. "As you wish. I can deny you nothing, my love." His voice was heavy with defeat. "I'm sorry to have caused you so much pain," he murmured.

"I am not. I don't regret anything, darling. You have shown me love -- and freedom. The only thing I regret is that I did not realize -- or acted -- sooner."

"I will always love you, Marlene."

"And I you," she replied, her voice tremulous with emotion. "No matter how far I am, no matter whom I am forced to be with, my heart is yours always. I will not, I cannot ever forget you."

"Nor I you."

The pair fell silent. For several moments, there were only the heady scent of summer blossoms, the breeze rustling the foliage above, and the twitter and chirp of nocturnal creatures. Just like some scene out of a romance novel. Marlene certainly was acting the part of the tragic heroine, and it was astounding for me to hear her like this. She was a far cry from the temperamental and demanding girl I knew. Then again, I had never really inspired Marlene to much more than irritation.

It felt very extremely wrong for me to be hearing all of this. How was it that I kept inadvertently stumbling into these girls' personal business? And this was so much worse than that time in Tanglewood or with Eries in the cemetery. Aside from the fact that it was a profoundly and embarrassingly intimate conversation, what they were doing bordered on treason and I didn't want to hear much more.

Unfortunately, it was about to get worse.

"Darling." Marlene 's voice was so husky I scarcely recognized it.

"What is it, love?"

"Love me tonight."

I did NOT just hear that.

He hesitated. "Marlene..."

Maybe he does have some sense in him. After all, no matter how tantalizing the prospect of sleeping with Marlene may be, that WOULD be treason.

"Please do not deny me this. Please.”

When he failed to respond, she begged, “I need you. Yesterday, I was a princess of Asturia, tomorrow I'll be the Duchess of Freid, but tonight... tonight I am my own, and I want you to have me, all of me, body and soul. I want to feel your heartbeat against mine... just once more, love me again...”

She couldn't mean…They couldn't have…

The significance of her words hit me like a load of boulders, and my brain shattered.

All this was much too surreal to be happening. I dug my fingernails into my palm to see if I could wake from what seemed a disturbingly bizarre dream.

Unfortunately, truth was proving to be much stranger than fiction.

When Marlene's lover (!), finally spoke, his voice was deadly serious. “Marlene, I dare not risk us being discovered again. And…I am concerned about your sister's….that she might…”

“Eries will tell no one.”

Eries knows! The broken remains of my consciousness exploded into pulverized dust.

“Are you absolutely certain of this? I've seen how she's looked at you…and me… since that night she saw... ”

"I know," Marlene replied quietly. Her voice was tinged with guilt. "She's been avoiding me since the betrothal. But I talked with her tonight. She... does not approve. However," she added staunchly, "she will not betray me. She says she understands, but... I don't think she really does. Nevertheless, she will not have me publicly shamed."

Something clicked and suddenly, Eries' weird behaviour made sense.

"She is on my side and watching for us even now," Marlene continued. "Everyone thinks I am with her in her rooms tonight. No one will miss me before daybreak. So please... let me love you with all that I am this one last time."

"Your wish is ever my command, beloved."

The crunch of footsteps, a rustling of skirts, and they were gone.

Mind still reeling from the night's revelations, I remained beneath the gazebo long after they had left. What I had learned -- it had the potential to destroy two lives and send repercussions rippling through two nations. No wonder this week had brought out the worst in Eries.

Oddly enough, it was not so much Marlene that my heart went out to, but her fiancé. Duke Mahad was being played for a fool. Here was a man clearly in love, eager and willing to do all in his power to win her affections -- and his efforts

had not moved her in the slightest. Was it so easy to be hoodwinked in this arena called love? If he ever found that he'd been cuckolded...

And what would I do if I were at his situation?

Wryly, I mused that that certainly would not be a concern should my father somehow force me into marrying Millerna. I could pretty much expect open animosity from her as wife. I doubted that his plans would ever come to fruition though. I had taken Nette's advice to heart all those years ago, and had come up with enough tricks up my sleeve such that I was quite confident in my ability to finagle a marriage with whomever I chose.

The question was, would I choose rightly?

Was it more tragic to lose your beloved or to realize that the love you thought was genuine was in actuality a farce?

Reciprocated, lasting, authentic love. It was inherently desired by all of us. And something that the three in that triangle would be denied by fate and circumstance.

I wondered if I would fare better.

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Announcement:

Good news and bad news. First the good news. hS has received an invitation from Anime on DVD to become a reviewer for their manga section! (Woohoo! will review for free manga!). Please come check her out at

www. animeondvd. com/reviews2/ manga

Herreviewer's namewill be Sakura Q. Eries (can you tell who my favorite anime character is?)

Okay, bad news. Because of this new commitment and more constraints on Ron's time, our fanfiction writing will have to be suspended. So, unfortunately, we will not be able to finish the story the way that we had hoped (we are shy two LONG chapters in our outline). We will try, however, to do a brief conclusion for Dryden's Story.