Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Blood* ❯ Forgetting ( Chapter 35 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

*Karen*
There are many things I want to forget. I stood before my mirror, trembling. I hate what I see. Scars exist all over my body. Only I can see them, however. Men did this to me, but my father did the worst damage.
He turned me into what I am today. All of my make-up can’t hide my scars. A smile can’t help either. Forgetting would probably help me.
I want to forget about what my father did to me. I want to forget about all of those men I slept with. I want to forget the pain. I want to forget that.
I glanced at the number fourteen on my back. I still feel it burning on my skin. I remember everything because of it. I hear her laughing at me. To be honest, I want to vomit. I don’t need any more nightmares. I already have my father haunting me. At least now, I’m not alone.
Thirty-six others will die with me. In a way, it scares me more. I only know two of them. I’m not sure if I even want to meet the others. I just want to be able to forget this fear. I keep falling behind. I gave up on wishing my life was different. I should be happy that I’m finally getting my wish to die, but I’m afraid. Something in me doesn’t want to die yet. It keeps screaming, “Live, fight!” It’s strange; that voice was never there before. Now that I am dying, it won’t stop.
I know why.
I met him three weeks ago. He’s different from all of the men I met. He’s not looking for sex from me or anything. He makes me feel normal. All we do is talk. I’m okay with that. However, I can’t shake the feeling of unease when I’m around him. It’s like I’m expecting him to betray me in some way. That’s what men do after all. They use me, betray me, and leave in the end. That’s how my life has been. But, he’s different somehow. He’s like me. We’re going to die on the Fire Festival together. He too has a number like me.
Thinking about that made realize something. I want to forget everything else, but not him. I don’t want to forget about him!