Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Halcyon ❯ Chapter 9 ( Chapter 9 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Welcome to a crash course in Gluhen! AKA the chapter that was /very hard/ for GL to write.

Some familiarity with Gluhen is /strongly recommended/.

Title: Halcyon, Chapter 9

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: AxY, referenced in this chapter if you've been reading along.

Disclaimer: Weiss Kreuz is not mine.

Summary: The boys are finding that some ends are merely masked beginnings.

Author's notes:

- Some of the dialogue in this is TAKEN DIRECTLY from episodes of Gluhen. Other dialogue has been modified. If you can pick out which lines and which episodes - points for you!

- Thank you to C Elise and most recently Psychodahlia for your comments!

The rest of you - You're killing me! Please give me some lovin'. (Or hatin', for that matter, but yanno, the lovin' would be better received ;-) ). It's hard sending this out into the abyss! I'd like to know who's reading.

xxxxx

Yohji looked down, pressed a kiss into Aya's hair. Ran's hair. It was soft, slightly wirey, as red hair was prone to be. One of the white ceramic sinks across from him dripped water from the rusty plumbing underneath.

The release of finally being able to touch the other man did not heal him.

He still felt the part of him that was a killer taking over. If he stayed in Weiss, that's all he would become.

Ah, Asuka. What do you think of me now?

You really love him, Yohji.

I'll hurt him, just like I did you. Kill him.

He might kill you first, you know.

No, none of that's it.

He trailed a finger down Ran's cheek. The man finally stirred. They'd been in there an hour, and his tip to the chef was probably insufficient funds. He was amazed that Ran had allowed him to hold him naked on the floor of a public restroom for so long - let alone anywhere else, the best hotels in Tokyo included.

Ran got up first, took his clothes, sat on the wooden bench across from the stalls to tug on his jeans. Yohji allowed himself to watch before getting up to put on his own clothes.

"Stay." Ran said.

Yohji jerked toward the sound of Ran's voice. The man's head was down, red eartails hanging in his face. His hair clashed with the backdrop of the mint tiles of the restroom wall.

I believe you, ah, I'm never gonna learn.

Yohji was such a bastard. He couldn't change who he was. But Ran had to understand that staying with Weiss - it would destroy him. Now, it would destroy them both.

"Come with me," Yohji countered. The idea stuck. "Ran! We'll take Aya-chan. What does Weiss have left for us? Aren't you sick of it? Aren't you sick of fighting, and killing people we - just the killing, Ran! We'll sell flowers somewhere -"

Ran looked up. The expression on his face was one Yohji had seen only a handful of times, and he'd hoped he'd never have to see it again.

His eyes actually had tears in them.

"We're Weiss, Yohji."

"I'm not. Not anymore," Yohji countered.

There was a long pause. Ran closed his eyes. He opened them again, and they were steady. "I'm Weiss. I'll always be Weiss. I know my place, Yohji - I can't, I won't abandon my responsibilities. And I won't take Aya-chan away from her family."

Yohji's fingers curled against the wall. A sort of desperation constricted his throat. "Come with me," he choked.

Ran didn't answer. For once, he hadn't fallen back into that practiced neutrality, but for the first time Yohji wished he had.

"It's your choice, Yohji." Ran said softly.

Yohji gasped, and stumbled out of the bathroom without looking back.

xxxxx

Years later.

xxxxx

Ran looked at a tattered photograph on the shelf in his room. He brushed it with his thumb. Three teammates, two gone, one hiding behind voice modulation and a crackling transmission.

"Does everyone in Weiss have a tragedy locked inside their hearts? Even you?" Sena had asked.

A new teammate, an old pain.

Aya-chan.

His parents.

Omi, Ken.

...Yohji.

Yohji.

Sena reminded reminded him so sharply of himself. Of the process it had taken to get him to where he'd been, years ago.

Before his sister had woken up.

...before...

He wouldn't wish that existance on anyone. Least of all Sena, who hadn't yet experienced what came of that life.

He still could have a future, other than a killer. His memories of this academy would be a distant hurt sooner than he thought.

"And our humanity is the most important part of ourselves we have to offer," he had finally answered.

Did he really believe that? Or was he offering false hope? He had seen human nature, and it was destructive at its core.

Nevertheless - perhaps Aya, the true Aya, the one who had lived years ago would have believed that. But Ran, who called himself Aya -

He supposed he had his teammates to thank for that. His sister's vibrant life, in part, but it had taken something more to get him to this place.

Where he caredif the boy who reminded him simultaneously of himself, and a mixture of former teammates, was lost.

It was futile for those who had already chosen his path to try and outrun their destiny. Yohji had tried, but Ran had no delusions that the other man ever managed to find his escape. They were too similar. Ken - he didn't dwell on Ken. Perhaps he'd managed to trick himself into peace. But Sena, he still felt there was hope for him.

I truly hope you choose to leave...and never look back.

It seemed it was Ran's fate to be granted friendship, and have it leave him.

xxxxx

"Abysinnian."

"Persia," Ran acknowledged, playing along as he always did. Omi had grown into someone he might hate, had he not known the boy's history, his motivations, the strength it took to take on the role that had abandoned Omi himself, all those years ago. It was Omi's choice, to be who he felt he needed to be. Just as it had been Ran's.

"Two members of Weiss have been reassigned to your team. Their code names are Balinese and Siberian, otherwise known as -"

It was all the warning he had, that Ken and Yohji were even still alive.

"Are you okay?" Sena's voice called from upstairs.

He must have made a sound. He released his fingers stiffly from the cushions of the couch, and composed himself.

"We have new teammates," he said.

xxxxx

Smiles in place. Introductions between teaching staff were in order, and Ran had to play the part. It had almost been a break for him, pretending to be a teacher. As if he had a real life. The bright light of the academy's hallway made Kudoh's new bleached-blond, hideously cropped hair all the more garish.

Ran had remembered how to pretend in Yohji's absence. It was a child's game that the former Aya could never bear.

He kept his tone smooth. It was programmed into him these days. "Fujimiya."

But Yohji was laughing at him, behind the pleasantries. "Yohji Kudoh."

It had been too long.

Yohji had made the choice for them both before, when he left. Now that he'd made the choice to return, who was he to argue?

Yohji no longer had any hold on him.

xxxxx

Ran had been so uncaring.

Could he blame him? Yohji knew fully what he'd done. Exactly, when it came down to it, Ran had probably thought he was going to.

Fuck him, then leave him. Then go and fall in love with some other women, just like Ran was probably accusing him of, in his head. Ah, you're so self centered, Kudoh. Like Ran even cared that you were gone.

Ah, Asuka, but at least I didn't choke him, like the others, eh? We're both still alive? He even seems happy, doesn't he?

...you try to seem happy, don't you, Yohji? You're a pretty tough bastard to get to know sometimes.

I know, Asuka. I'm sorry. I should have been more open with you -

Don't worry about it, Yohji! Asuka's ghost laughed at him. I wasn't all that open with you, either, you know. Don't tell me you've forgotten!

"No, no," Yohji muttered. "I'll never forget." He hit the desk in front of him, sending papers flying through the empty classroom. "That's the goddamned problem!"

No, that's not it...

xxxxx

"Is there something you can't tell even us?" Ran stared him down evenly, across the roof. It was a sunny day, and Ran's long, unfamiliar braid was blowing behind him.

Yohji wanted to cut it off with his garrote. He'd been avoiding this moment since he was reassigned to Weiss. His plan to avoid Aya -Ran, dammit! - at all costs was blown to hell. "Have you ever wanted to erase your past?"

"No." Ran's answer was even, and immediate.

There you go, Yohji. He's no longer hurt by his past, he no longer cares about it. Which means he doesn't give one shit about you. Of course he doesn't. None of the others did either, except you, Asuka. Of course, except for you. "Just leave me alone."

Yohji brushed past him, and didn't look back.

Ran made no move to stop him.

xxxxx

Had Ran always known it would come to this? It surprised him that now, at the cusp of their deaths, and possibly that of the world, Yohji had chosen this moment to fight him. He supposed in Yohji's mind, it was now or never.

Nagi's arrival had been unexpected.

Nagi's employmenthad been unexpected.

They had a psychotic enemy with allies as powerful as Schwartz. Genetic tampering. Revenge to carry out. Justiceto carry out.

Schwartz wasn't even trying to kill them. And yet, the feel of slick wire tightened across his throat.

It was not the time to be so selfish as to focus on their own meager history.

...Was his memory really so short?

Yohji's own needs had always been paramount to him. He'd been a fool to ever forget that.

"If we start this, one of us will die." Ran stated.

"You hate me, Yohji." Words said a lifetime ago, echoing back to the present.

Distant tremors rocked the grey roof beneath their feet. The sound of fighting was carried through the breeze, rising from deep within the walls of the tower.

There was no time.

"Is tricking ourselves not allowed?" Yohji's tone was desperate. "I will be reborn, Aya, and you won't stop me."

"I don't want to be hurt anymore, to be betrayed or betray -" Ran replied, keeping his tone even.

He would deal with the emotional consequences of this later. Or perhaps it wouldn't matter, after all.

"You didn't even care that I left, did you?" Yohji's mouth pulled down into a frown. His hand remained steady on his weapon.

"You didn't seem to mind being gone." Ran bit out.

Yohji laughed. "You really are an emotionless bastard, aren't you? It took this long for you to even acknowledge that something happened, Aya. But guess what, it did, Ran."

"What about you!"

"I don't dwell on the past any more."

The wire at his neck said otherwise.

Ran kept his gaze level. "I am not the person you knew, Yohji. I suppose in some ways I have you to thank for that. But I won't be used again by you!"

"You won't be," Yohji said softly. Anger sparked again in his eyes. Familiar, despite the new pain in them, despite the new fogginess that made the man seem lost. "Is this who you wished to be? Answer me, Aya!"

He supposed, in retrospect, that the explosion saved them both.

xxxxx

The two figures seemed small within the metal and mechanical tower of Kua Academy. Facing off again, Ran across the room from Yohji and the woman between them.

How dare Yohji return, just to tell him he should try to forget.

He couldn't blame him for who he was.

But he could be angry that he was making the wrong choices, as always, couldn't he? Ran was struggling to save them all from themselves, and was drowning in the waves of his effort.

But you couldn't save Sena, could you. No. The boy was still on this mission with them, still fighting when he should have run to his bright future.

"I'm going to live."

Ran's eyes widened.

It wasn't the response he'd been expecting.

Yohji's face was grim, and jubillant. His eyes found Ran's and held them, across the shoulder of the woman who threatened to kill them all. Her eyes were wide, maniacal.

"Don't die, Yohji." Ran bit out.

It was an admission.

Ran still cared.

They were both beyond salvation.

And still some part of him hoped that in the end, when this was done, they could save each other.

Or, if not that - perhaps they at least had comfort left to offer.

xxxxx

Comfort.

Omi-Mamoru-Persia's voice crackled across the transmission, finally decoded. It was just as unrecognizable despite that, emotionless and businesslike. "Balinese lost his memories in the destruction of the academy. He has been relocated to a new life. It is strongly recommended that none of you try to contact him. Siberian -" the new head of the Takatori family paused. The voice was softer when it continued. "Siberian has taken leave, perhaps permanently."

No, Ran affirmed to himself, as the transmission sputtered out, leaving the empty mission room in silence. There is no comfort for people like us.

Ran had been given again what he wanted most, only to have it taken from him.

Perhaps there was a lesson to be learned.

"Is tricking ourselves not allowed?" Yohji's voice echoed back to him.

How could he have forgotten? How could he have thought, even for a moment, that their choices mattered?

In the end, every one of them was just the pawn of fate.

xxxxx

Tbc.