Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ I Deserve ❯ What now? ( Chapter 6 )

Disclaimers: I do not own the characters of Weiss Kruez, Takehito Koyasu, Tsuchiya Kyoko, Shinshokan and others do. This story is from my head and there is no way that they would even think of doing this with their characters.

Warning: Dark angst, very sensitive issues in this chapter, mild bad language, suicidal moments etc

Pairing: Aya x Youji - (one sided) Ken + Aya

Rating: R

Authors Note: I want to apologise for taking so long in writing this chapter but real life nipped at my heels and I had to deal with it, on top of that I had a major move which I am still unpacking now. Anyway the next chapter is the last chapter and it will have a lemon in it.

I wish to thank the following reviewers for there patience and lovely comments which encouraged me to write this chapter sooner than I could. I said what the hell and told my family I was having time out. Thank you for being patient with me. Catlin, poutpout, Scented Candles, Vampire Louis, Lina, Forsaken, Bernstein, Kari, tmelange.

*********************************************************************** *******************

*Flashback*

He followed the bitter smell of alcohol coming from the bedroom at the end of the hall, his eyes dark and detached, an adult mind trapped inside of a body going from a child to teenager.

He winced with pain reminding him of what had just happened to him, fluid mixed with blood clinging thickly to his thighs and anus. The club his father had used to stretch him before entering him with his penis making him shiver. He shook himself, his right hand clenched tightly on a metal object to reassure himself that it was still there.

His pale face was thin and haggard, covered in dark bruises, a split swollen lip bleeding as he licked his own blood.

Silently like a ghost his too thin body moved with determination knowing that there was no turning back now. What had happened tonight snapped something deep inside of him and he was now in survival mode, his instincts telling him that the next time could be his last time and he was a survivor.

He felt so empty, numb, and the closer he got to their bedroom the more numb he became. If there was any emotion he was feeling, it was hatred, his eyes so dark that the emerald depths hid behind the swirling black that could be seen there.

Walking into their bedroom he looked at the figure sitting in the wooden chair tied securely with a black gag across her mouth, her eyes wide with fear begging him to let her go. He calmly looked away.

Slowly he made his way towards the bed where a male figure laid, the stench of alcohol mixed with drugs issuing from the cruel mouth that had ravaged his own not so long ago. His lips curled with distaste at the memory his resolve strengthened.

Lifting his arm he aimed the gun at his father's head, the stillness of his body as he cocked it, a smirk tugging at his bruised lips. He heard the muffled cry from the female, who was his mother, but she had ceased being that a long time ago, she was just someone who he stayed with, someone who was lower than this man, his so called father.

"Don't worry mother dearest," the last two words said with contempt, "where you two are going you won't have to be jealous of your own son anymore."

A shot rung out the body on the bed twitching as he fired again; tears running down his face. The hell this man had put him through, the rape, torture, abuse and worse of all, the degradation and his own self-hatred. He fired again watching the crimson fluid being exposed from the gun wounds on the males head and torso. He stared with fascination; the sight settling him somehow and he blinked, turning to face his mother.

He stiffened as he saw her eyes looking at him with anger and hatred, her body writhing as she struggled to get out of her bonds. How could she love this man knowing what he had done to him? He aimed the gun at her heart ready to fire, he wanted revenge on this woman who had failed to love him and protect him.

Closing his eyes he could feel his arm tremble and pulled the trigger not knowing if he had shot her or not, the gun now a heavy weight as it dropped to the floor from his slackened grip.

Like a zombie he made his way towards the door and just kept walking until he reached his room. His sanctuary. Dropping to the floor he huddled in the corner wrapping his arms around his body.

Freedom at a price. No more pain, no more nothing. He didn't care what happened to him now; he was finally free from them.

What happened afterwards was one big blur of people in uniforms asking questions that he could not answer the pity in their eyes as they shook their heads. Gentle hands touched him carefully, soft words he was not used to being spoken to him…oddly it was comforting.

A flash of dark hair caught his attention, a male watching him intently with penetrating eyes. He felt no fear, instead he was curious. The older male nodded at him with a slight smile on his face and he knew that he would meet this person again, watching as the man turned and walked out the door with stealth and assurance, the other officers making way for him with awe and respect.

"What is your name kid?"

Startled he looked at the officer who spoke, a wavering smile trying to break through to cover the pain he felt. His first mask appearing to hide how he was truly feeling. "Youji…Kudoh Youji."

*End Flashback*

Youji

Tears streamed down his face, his dark memories coming back to him with full force. The dark secret he had thought was buried to be forgotten, resurfacing, making him want to retch.

//Do it Youji, do it. This is your judgement. Your penalty…Death!//

With sluggish detachment he watched as his hand became a separate entity from his mind. The sharp glass caressed his wrist so gently, barely leaving a mark, a scratch of crimson marring the perfect golden skin. His shuddering breath halted his action, as his mind tried to focus on an image. There was something he was forgetting, something that was very important to him. He blinked twice watching the crimson fluid; it made him want to think of something else that was crimson, something or…or…some--

//…Stop fighting it Youji. There is nothing to keep you here now. Nothing. Now do it! You are nothing but a used whore that enjoyed my touch, yes you enjoyed the way I thrust deep inside of y...//

"No!" Shaking his head, Youji denied his thoughts. He did not enjoy it…he…he hated it.

//Liar! Your semen is proof that you enjoyed it. Yes the hot seed that you spilled into my hands, the same pearly liquid that I licked of my fingers while you sat there and watched me with hunger.//

"No!" his hand gripped the glass tighter as he tried to control his own limb, the limb that wanted to start the flow that would be the death of him. He was a survivor and he just needed to remember what it was that he wanted to live for…his confused thoughts becoming chaotic and panicky as he grasped desperately for something, anything beside the dark shadow that kept on reminding him of his past.

//There is nothing to keep you here Youji, nothing and no one.//

"Shut the fuck up!" Breathing heavily, he fought with himself as the glass dagger moved against his will toward his wrist, the blood streaming from the glass to his hand and down his arm like crimson tails. The dagger glass now poised millimetres above the vein of his life stream.

A whispered voice egged him on, //Do it...Your hands are tainted with blood, what is one more?//

The voice is right, what is one more even if it is himself. He was already dead inside wasn't he? He had nothing to live for right? He gasped as the colour crimson mixed with violet flashed inside his head. Aya?!

Youji trembled as the beautiful image of Aya stayed with him, a whimpering cry of help escaping his lips. "Please Aya, please help me."

//He can't help you Youji, why would he. When he finds out what you have done, do you really think he would want anything to do with someone who killed his own parents? Someone who was used goods?//

"Aya will understand…he has to."

Laughter echoed all around the small room, the dark shadow leering with hate. //You are holding on to false hopes Youji, he will never understand. You do not deserve happiness. You do not deserve Aya. What you do deserve is the punishment that befits the crime. Murderer!//

"No!" Shaking his head he whispered no again the word sounding so false to his own ears. Aya deserved better than this, he did not need the burden of what Youji carried on his shoulders, his past that was slowly destroying him.

//That's better, I grow tired of your delusions. Now do it. Draw the line that will free you from all this. Join us where you belong.//

"I am so sorry Aya…I-I love you." Closing his eyes, Youji called Aya's image forward, a small smile touching his trembling lips as he saw the lovely red head in all his pale beauty. Cold violet blue eyes' softening briefly to harden once again, this is the Aya he has come to love. "Yes he deserves better than me."

Opening his eyes once again he calmly took a deep breath and let his mind go, sinking into the drug induced stupor that would not allow him to control his hand. He froze as he could hear a sound, vaguely, which stopped this action. It seemed to be outside of where he was now but he could not focus or comprehend where it was coming from. He could hear a voice and a banging sound but it only echoed inside of his head, shattering his nerves. He listened for a moment trying to hear what the voice was saying, a female voice but he was distracted by the dark shadow.

//It is no one of importance Youji. Ignore it!//

As much as he wanted to, Youji found he couldn't as a bright white light began to fill the room, soft feathery white wings stretching outwards, a small petite form with bright blue eyes pushing the shadow to one side.

**Don't listen to him Youji, you have to believe in Aya. He will come for you.**

"Eliza?"

**Yes it is me Youji. I promised you that I would watch over you. The drugs are making you see and do things, helping the shadow to take control of you.**

"But I killed them Eliza."

Dimples appeared as she smiled sweetly, soft ghostly hands reaching out to caress his golden cheek. **You were only ten and you had to survive Youji. They were slowly destroying the child within you and doing things that they had no right to do. They failed to protect you as they should have, they instead took advantage of you and used you for there own ends.**

Moving closer Eliza wrapped her arms around him whispering in his ear, **You have to let it go Youji, too live again and to stop giving them the power to control you.**

Youji bit his lip stifling the sob, "but Aya will never understand."

**You will have to trust in Aya to understand Youji. He needs you and you need him just don't give up on Aya, he is very strong and knows what he wants. Trust in him.**

Before Youji could answer another banging sound came from the door that startled him then it stopped suddenly. The man with silver hair, was he coming back? God he hoped not. His head fell forward against his chest as he was suddenly hit by drowsiness, his eyes blinking close slowly.

**Youji please hold on, help will come. He will come!**

His hand that held the glass dropped heavily making a small cut, his whole body drooping with tiredness. A mantra now repeating in his mind, Aya will come…Aya will come…Aya will come…

*****************************************************************

Aya Ran, Omi and Ken

Youji where are you?

"Aya--"

Violet blue eyes watched as the rain hit the window with sharpness the wind making it swirl, his insides just as chaotic. Something is wrong I can feel it. But where do I start to look? The Club?

"Aya--"

A tentative hand touched his elbow. Omi. "What?!" He did not mean to snap but he could not help it. Dread was clawing inside of him, the premonition that something evil was happening to his Youji. Yes his Youji. There was no denying this feeling and he was not about too.

"Ken will be fine, he needs rest and so do you." Concern radiated from Omi towards Aya.

Snatching his arm away from Omi, Aya looked at him coldly, "I will not rest until Youji is safe at home with me!" He turned his back on the youngest member of their team, closing his eyes to hide the pain from his wound he knew that was showing there. He stiffened as he could hear someone whisper his name. It happened again. Is it Youji calling out to me?

Biting his lip Omi wasn't sure what to do or say. Aya was hard to speak to at the best of times but when he was in this kind of mood it was impossible. He was concerned for Youji too, as well as his other team mates. "Aya I--"

"Leave it Omi; I am going to look for him now, I have waited long enough!" He turned abruptly wincing slightly as his shoulder stretched; he made his way towards the door his hand on the door knob when the phone rang. He held his breath turning sharply, his eye watching as Omi answered the phone. Please let it be my Youji.

"Yes Aya is here," Omi's sapphire orbs letting Aya know it wasn't Youji but he also detected confusion in his eyes as Omi mouthed the words, 'it is a female.'

Frowning Aya snatched the phone of the little blonde saying swiftly, "Aya speaking."

The female sniffed looking around her quickly, "You have to hurry, Youji is here at the house and I-I can't get the door open…your friend is doing something to himself…"

Perplexed Aya quickly looked towards Omi. "Mrs Kraydon?"

"Yes. Look you don't have much time, m-my husband has given him some kind of drug."

Aya couldn't believe it but shook himself. "We are on our way." He slammed the phone down saying briskly, "Omi grab your gear, I know where Youji is." He made his way pass the stairs when Ken appeared.

Ken could see Aya was in mission mode again, "news of Youji's whereabouts?"

Aya nodded, "are you fit enough to come?"

Omi interrupted before Ken could say anything, "no he isn't."

Ken snorted turning to go back upstairs, "I will get ready."

"Ken needs to rest Aya."

"Convince Ken not me Omi, I don't control his mind." Aya stroked his Katana, saying beneath his breath, "we are coming for you Youji my love and those that have tried to hurt you will suffer slowly. I swear this on my Katana!" He kissed the handle of his sword sealing his vow.

Omi frowned at their leader, you have more control over Ken then you think Aya. Shaking his head he knew that there was nothing he could do and grabbed the first aid kit just in case. Who knows what they will find where they are going.

"Lets go I will not wait any longer." His stride was sure and confident, his heart beating wildly as he pushed the panic that was trying to surface down violently. Keep a clear head Aya as he ignored the throbbing pain coming from his shoulder and arm.

Ken winced as he struggled to put his jacket on, his bugnuck in place. He heard Aya clearly and made his way down the stairs carefully avoiding Omi, he was not in the mood for his mothering, not now. Aya needed him and he was going to be there to help him. Even if it meant that they were saving Youji, the one that Aya wanted to be with.

Mission: Rescue Youji

Piling into the van, each one was quiet as Aya started the vehicle up. The mattress was in the back, he was not sure what state Youji would be in when they get there but he was taking no chances.

The drive there seemed like it was taking ages, the closer they got the more Aya's heart beat with fear. Would they be too late? Would his Youji still be alive? Mrs Kraydon…how did she fit into all this? Shaking his head Aya was relieved to see the house and parked the van on the road away from the house.

Silently they walked towards the house and through the gateway, Aya's eyes scanning the area around them. He was still the team leader and it was his job to make sure that their lives were not at jeopardy.

Ken whistled, "wow, what a home." He turned to stare at Aya, "who lives here?"

"Eliza's mother and stepfather." Aya straightened his leather coat his Katana gripped in his hand, the vow sealed and not forgotten.

Ken had no idea who this Eliza was though the name was vaguely familiar. He followed Aya, Omi behind him with a grim look on his face. Omi was giving him a hard time and it was unnerving him. Omi was a force to be reckoned with when he was upset or angry. Ken was willing to bet he was angry and not just with him but with Aya as well.

Aya lifted his hand to knock but the door opened abruptly to reveal a very flustered Mrs Kraydon.

"Please hurry he has gone quiet and I am worried about him."

"Omi you will stay here and keep a look out in case Mr Kraydon arrives, Ken you will come with me." Aya turned towards Mrs Kraydon, "take us to Youji."

Nodding she headed towards the back of the house, Aya frowning as a secret door was revealed. She touched a certain spot and it slid open and walked through waiting for the other two to follow pushing another button that closed the door behind them. She then rushed down the corridor that led to another door that swished open as she keyed in a code on the key pad.

Who the hell was Mr Kraydon? "Mrs Kraydon what is your husband name?"

"Aiden…Aiden Kraydon"

Aya silently looked at Ken as they realised whose house they were in. A small smirk appeared on Aya's face as he followed Mrs Kraydon down a long stairway that twisted into a dark place with aluminium walls. Aiden was a dangerous enemy and who knows what else happened down here.

"Come he is in a room down here."

Aya nodded to Ken who waited in the shadows just in case the enemy managed to get past Omi.

Mrs Kraydon stopped outside a thick door with three locks on it. She then proceeded to key in the code releasing one lock then shrugged, "I don't have any keys."

Smirking Aya rummaged in one of his pockets as he kneeled down by the second lock, his Katana he laid in front of him. He found the pick that would unlock the door and carefully placed his head against it as he began to do his magic. He had to calm himself and slow his heart rate down as he became excited about being this close to Youji. His mouth twitched as he finally heard the click and began on the third lock which was going to take a little longer.

The silence from the room was scaring him and he tensed as he heard a groan. He had to stop himself from calling out Youji's name and made himself concentrate on what he was doing, beads of sweat on his forehead. What seemed like hours but was only minutes he heard the click and sighed with relief.

"Wait here Mrs Kraydon, Youji could become dangerous with the drug he has been given."

Picking up his Katana Aya opened the door and gasped as he saw his love lying on the floor, his wrist bleeding, his other hand all bloodied holding a jagged piece of glass tightly. Inhaling deeply he walked toward the prone figure of Youji with stealth and slowness saying softly, "Youji."

Youji tensed as he heard his name, his eyes too tired to open.

"Youji, it is me…Aya."

"Aya," his throat so sore and dry, "Aya will come, he will come."

With quick steps Aya ran to Youji not caring anymore about the danger, Youji needed him, and needed him now. He went to grab his hand with the glass when Youji swiftly slashed it through the air his body backing up against the wall.

"Shit!" as the glass caught his hand. "Youji it is me Aya!"

Trembling with weakness and loss of blood, Youji opened his eyes his verdant eyes trying to focus on the image in front of him. He froze as he recognised the crimson hair and stared into penetrating violet blue depths making him shudder at the tenderness he saw in them. "Aya," his hand released the glass, the sound of broken glass filling his head. Aya had come, he had come, the tears of happiness slowly making its way down his pale cheek.

Aya ran forward pulling the taller man into his tight embrace, his lips touching Youji's gently, lovingly. "I thought I would never see you again Youji, my Youji." His hand stroked the golden tresses of honey and silk.

Youji wrapped his arms around Aya's waist his body slumping forward, "Aya there is something I have to tell you--"

"Shh Youji, I have to stop the bleeding, we have to get you to the hospital." He pulled himself together putting his stoic mask on as he looked at the cut in Youji's wrist. Luckily it was not as deep as it looked and wrapped it up in a bandage tightly.

"Aya please I need to--"

Ken came rushing in. "Aya we have company, Mrs Kraydon has gone back upstairs."

"Fuck that is all we need." He looked at Youji and could see he was about to black out. This is not turning out to be a good night at all.

Aiden

With clenched fist Aiden looked at the burning building that used to be his warehouse. "Any survivors?"

The brunette nodded, "yes the two that were with the golden boy."

"Send them to the house and tell them to wait there." His cold eyes looked at the brunette angrily, "we have work to do, if they know this is the warehouse then it means they will be searching for me next. I want you to make sure that the drugs we have stored in the safe at your office is sent to the secret location in America to my brother. He will know what to do with them."

"Of course and the codes?"

Aiden smirked tapping his head, "they are safely locked in here and I am not about to reveal them to anyone."

"What about the club?"

"We can safely say that they are onto that establishment and there is nothing there that will lead them to me, now get to work! I will meet you back at my place; it is time to let the wife know that she is not needed anymore."

The brunette stiffly walked away, fear beating in his heart. How he got mixed up with Aiden he had no idea but money speaks many languages breaks many barriers and he was getting plenty of it.

Aiden's face clouded darkly. "I will get those responsible for this and I will start with the sweet golden boy named Youji…"

TBC

AN: I hope this was not too rushed and that it was okay.