Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ The Great Pancake Caper ❯ Chapter 2 ( Chapter 2 )

Crawford got out of the car and slammed the door shut. Leaving the other two members of his team to deal with a hyperactive telekinetic. Not to mention completely ignoring the trash bag stuck to the bottom of his suit jacket, making it look like he had a tail. He was striding toward the house when Schuldig darted past him, nearly flying inside and slamming the door behind him.

 

“I will not shoot a team member, I will not shoot a team member,” became a mantra as he stalked into the house. He noticed sticky clothing scattered along the stairs. Schuldig must have stripped going up them, he surmised, the man had zero modesty. Upon reaching the first landing he heard the shower running.

 

Striding into his bathroom, he dragged Schuldig out of the shower and threw him bodily out of the bathroom. Locking the door and leaving a naked, sputtering, then cursing German outside of it.

 

Schuldig's eyes narrowed as he glared at the bathroom door. He stomped down the stairs to find Farf with Nagi still hanging over one shoulder.

 

“Ay, you know you're naked?” Farf asked. Nagi started laughing hysterically again even though he couldn't see Schuldig at that point.

 

“I noticed that when Brad-chan dragged me out of the fucking shower.”

 

“The shower was fucking? How? I wanna see.” Nagi said, trying to squirm free of Farf's hold.

 

“You're too young,” Farf said mildly.

 

“Am not. I know what you and Schuldig watch on those channels after Crawford-san and I go to bed,” he said, trying and mostly succeeding at suppressing another fit of giggles.

 

Schuldig shrugged. “No one ever said he was dumb. Hey, Nags, the upstairs toilet needs flushing. Repeatedly. But Brad's locked the door so you'll have to do it.”

 

“Hai!” Nagi said then focused his gift.

 

Schuldig smirked as he was rewarded with a very satisfying “Arrrrrgggg!!! Shit! Hot!” from the upstairs bathroom.

 

Schuldig, I foresee your imminent demise as soon as I get out of the bathroom and find my gun.

 

Ja, ja, ja. Whatever.

 

“I think the tank is full again, go for it, Nagi.”

 

From upstairs was heard. “Goddamnit, Schuldig. You fucking bastard! Wait until I get down there!”

 

Schuldig whistled happily as he bounced, totally naked, out the door.

 

“We'll have to bail you out later,” Farf called after him. Nagi had fallen down laughing and was rolling around on the floor.

 

“No you won't!” Schu said, bounding next door and knocking.

 

When it was opened he smiled his best at the lady of the house. “Hello, Michiri-san, could I trouble you to use your shower? Ours is blocked by a pissy precog.”

 

Farf looked at Nagi, who was still rolling on the floor.

 

“And they call me a loon,” he said shaking his head.

 

Crawford came down the stairs a few minutes later, fully dressed and immaculately groomed.

 

“Where is he?”

 

“No idea,” Farf said with a shrug. “He bailed out the door in the buff a few minutes ago.”

 

Nagi was now gasping and breathless from laughing. Huge tears streamed down his face as he fought to control it and lost, flopping back on the floor and giggling insanely.

 

Crawford pinched the bridge of his nose above his glasses. “I will not shoot two team mates, I will not shoot two team mates. They are useful. Occasionally. I will not shoot two team mates,” he said, walking toward the kitchen.

 

Schuldig stayed gone for the better part of the day and night just to be safe. Coming in at four a.m. wearing a kilt and a woman's club shirt. When he opened the cabinet doors he found that Crawford must have scoured every Western market in the greater Tokyo area due to the 47 boxes of pancake mix sitting on the shelves.