Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ zelos ❯ nightmare ( Chapter 20 )

zelos

by Myka

Arc II - Chapter 07

A/N: This was tough to write. I felt like my writing was different for some reason. Thanks to Tysoyo Kalli and bea-chan for their comments.

Beta: naaha

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I dreamt.

In my dream I am being dragged down a long white hall by two men who pull at my arms. I try everything to stop them. Refusing to move, pulling back, even biting - desperate situations call for desperate measures. The more I resist, the harder they pull. I curse at them over and over, and most of it isn't in Japanese; but no matter how hard I try I just can't break away. At the end of the hall I can see a pair of twin white doors. The closer we get to them, the more I try to escape. I don't know what is beyond those doors, but I do know that going through them is not something I want to do. I receive a blow to the back of my neck and most of my body goes numb almost instantly. The men have no trouble dragging me the rest of the way towards those white doors. Beyond them is a small room and as my vision blurs I spot a chair. They sit me on it and hold me there; I raise my sight from the floor to find a mirror. I stare at my reflection.

But the one in the mirror isn't me… it's Schuldig.

"Yohji help me…"

"Schuldig…"

The dream morphs and this time I am standing by myself in the middle of nothing. It is dark all around me, but somehow I can still see myself. Another mirror appears in front of me and in it there is an image; like footage being played right before my eyes. Through the mirror I see Schuldig and I working at the flower shop; talking, smiling, sneaking a kiss or two, happy… Then it vanishes in a cloud of smoke and in its place is the night we 'died.' My heart jumps to my throat. There is so much blood... I don't remember there being that much blood…

The image blurs again and this time I see the night I was given the order to kill him; our first night together. Schuldig's fingers trail down the line of my back and dig into my skin as I move within him. "More," he breathes in my ear. "More." It disappears like the others and another one appears in its place. The dance, our dance; the moment I decided I wanted more than just a friendship. The visions keep appearing; I watch them, remember the moment and then they blur and morph into another image.

When I stopped him from kissing me in his apartment. When I couldn't bear the thought of harming him when Ken and Omi saw him during one of our nights out. Me hiding him from Aya when we passed out at my apartment. Making our deal that night at the bar. Rescuing him when he jumped from a building. Offering him the quarter he was so insistent on taking… One by one they go by; then suddenly there it is. The moment that changed everything. Raining as if the night itself was crying. Schuldig's profile visible even through the dark, the child screaming in his arms. I raise my fingers towards the mirror and trail my fingertips along the outline of his face.

The mirror shatters.

I feel the shards of glass piercing my skin, can almost smell the blood pouring from my wounds. I scream.

I wake. I gasp for air as if I've been choking. I am sitting in my bed, the mirror gone. I can feel the sweat running down my skin and I know I am not alone. Another hand holds mine and I blink and stare at Manx's blank face.

"Nightmare?" she asks. It takes me a few seconds to register that I am in my room and unharmed. There was no mirror; there are no wounds on my skin. I nod at Manx.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as I sit up on the bed.

"Waiting for you to wake up," she answers.

I frown at her and take my hand away from hers. Ever since I woke up from the attack all I've received is bad news, bad dreams. I feel as if nobody is on my side anymore.

"I wanted to apologize for earlier." I blink. "There was a misunderstanding; they weren't supposed to tell you like that."

I stare at her, barely believing the words that are coming out of her mouth. But what bothers me most is her tone. Calm, pleasant… As if what she is saying has little importance. "Tell me like what?" I hiss. "That Esset came here and took Schuldig and that Kritiker isn't going to do shit about it?"

Manx seems startled at my outburst but I don't care what she thinks. I straighten my body and stare hard at her, my eyes narrowing. She takes a deep breath. "I'm trying to change that, Yohji, but it's not that simple…"

"It's simple to me. I'm rescuing Schuldig one way or another, Manx. There's no way around it."

"Calm yourself, Yohji," she orders. "All you've done since the attack is snap at everybody. Now calm down and let me talk. Good? Ok." She settles herself on the chair and I keep my mouth shut just to see where this is going. Her body language is off. I think I'm pretty good at reading people's faces. Something tells me I am not going to like what she is going to say. "You're still a part of Kritiker, Yohji, and I assume you like it that way."

"Yes."

"Schuldig is still part of Esset and Schwarz."

"He isn't…!"

"He is, Yohji! In Kritiker's eyes he still is. Six months of cohabitation with him does not change that."

My eyes narrow, the glare on my face clearly unfriendly. "Then why was he allowed to live here in the first place?"

Manx answers the question as if I just asked her about the weather. "Because at the time we came to an understanding that he was what you needed and Kritiker needed you, so…"

"Don't give me that crap Manx." I interrupt. "You know as well as I that he offered his aid, his powers to you and that Kritiker refused." I made sure I linked her to the association directly. "He was just a nuisance to you wasn't he? But it was ok if he stayed as long as I stayed?"

"In a way…"

I avert my eyes to the side, taking her out of my frame of view. "I don't believe it…"

"Honestly, Yohji, how long do you think his infatuation will last, how long will yours last?"

That got a reaction from me. "Infatuation?!"

"You didn't honestly believe it was going to be a long-term relationship, did you?"

I gape at her. I want to spit at her, 'How dare you.' But I need to stay calm right now. I close my mouth and turn away again. "Leave, Manx," I say dryly.

"Yohji… I'm just thinking about your best interests in the long run."

When I look at her, she is looking back at me. "No, Manx, you aren't!" I yell in frustration. I need to get this out of my chest. "You don't understand, I never expected to fall in love with him, but it happened and you know what? It's pretty damn great! I know he loves me back and that feels pretty damn great too!"

She tilts her head slightly, her eyes slowly blinking. "Your right, I don't understand. How could you forget Asuka so quickly…"

Manx eyes stare at me. I almost say something rude, but I refuse to let my boiling anger get the best of me. "I still love Asuka, Manx." I say calmly. "I will always love her, but I love Schuldig too. Right now he means everything to me."

"You really don't care…" she says perplexed. "That he's your enemy; that he's Schwarz and a man."

"No, Manx, I don't care." She seems to ponder this; I know no matter how many times I tell her, she just would never get it, the thought of me loving an enemy, a man, was so beyond her that she would never understand it. I remember Schuldig once telling me the reason why my teammates were so elusive when it came to our relationship. It was because they had this 'image' of me in their heads and it was like I've changed it from one day to the next. Manx's image of me as a playboy and womanizer was imprinted deeply. "Leave, Manx. While I still ask nicely."

Her eyes narrow and she stands. She remains there looking at me; I stare back at her, trying to keep my eyes as unemotional as I can. Her eyes are angry, but she doesn't speak again before she leaves. I take a deep breath after the door closes, trying to control the anger and disappointment that I am feeling. I look around my room and feel the urge to get out of here. I set my feet on the cold floor and stand up. There is a knock on the door. "What now?" I snap, not in the mood to hear Manx's analysis anymore.

The door opens slightly and Omi peers his head through the opening. "Yohji, can I come in?"

I feel bad for snapping at him. "Sure Omi, sorry about that, I just… never mind, please come in."

He does and closes the door behind him. I notice a small box he's holding in his hand; it's wrapped like a gift. "I'm assuming that the talk with Manx didn't go very well," he spoke, closing the door after him.

"No it didn't," I huff.

"I see… So what are you going to do?"

I take a deep breath. I feel exhausted, drained and useless. Schuldig needs me and I am still here, two days later. "I want to look for him; I'm going to look for him. I can't stay here waiting for Kritiker to make up their minds. He needs me, Omi, I heard him calling me."

"He called you?"

"Yesterday when I passed out."

Omi eyes glisten with a silent knowledge. "So that's what happened…" he trails off.

I nod. "They're hurting him, I saw it. They were dragging him down a hall. It looked like a dream but I know it was him, he was showing me what they were doing to him. I need to find him, Omi."

"Did you see where he was?" he asks. That's Omi for you, always practical and one step ahead. I shake my head. "Then give me a few days, Yohji. I'll force Kritiker to help even if it's the last thing I do."

"How will you do that?"

"I might not be one of Kritiker's top people, but I'm still a Takatori, I'm going to remind them of that fact." I had to smile. "Now just stay put. Here." He offers me the box I had noticed earlier.

"What is it?" I ask.

"I was going to give it to you for your birthday, but I thought with all that's happened you might like it…or need it."

I stare at the small box with wonderment and then slowly unwrap it. "Oh, Omi…" I gasp. It's a framed picture: a picture of me and Schuldig sleeping. Probably one of those nights we had fallen asleep on the lounge couch while watching a movie. In the picture, I'm sitting on the couch, my head tilted a bit to the side, my mouth closed (me drooling would've ruined the picture). Schuldig is sprawled across the whole couch, his head on my lap as he slept, my hand twined in his red bangs. It is a beautiful picture. I trace my fingers across it, feeling immensely sad at the moment. "Thanks, Omi. I love it."

"I'm glad you like it. Just remember not to show it to anybody." I nod again. A picture of me and Schuldig; one of the first things Kritiker had forbidden when Schuldig had moved in. It is the first and only picture of us. Physical evidence of how much we love each other. It is perfect. "Now just stay here, Yohji. It's time for me to start using my influence."

I chuckle a bit as Omi leaves. I stare at the picture in my hands. I can't just stay here and wait, I just can't. I have to search for my lover. I place the picture on top of the shelf and get dressed: just a black shirt, a deep brown jacket and a pair of jeans. I take the picture in my hands, then remove it from its frame and guard it safely in one of the jacket's inner pockets. I stare at the door for a moment, a silent apology to Omi and the rest of my team on my lips. I walk to the window and open it, allowing the cold chill of the night touch me. I look around my room for a moment, thinking this could be the last time I see it. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and just leave.

~xxx~