Ranma ½ © Rumiko Takahashi, Oh! My Goddess! © Kosuke Fujishima, as well as any local licensee affiliates. However everything of my own creation connected to this story, including scenarios, titles, dialogue, text, and any original characters are © to myself, and may not be used without permission, but talk to me first and I should be reasonable. Any similarity to existing people or organisations is entirely coincidental, beyond archetypal significance. No animals were harmed through the writing of this story.

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Warning:
The story will contain a great deal of potentially offensive, politically incorrect, unfamiliar, or emotionally challenging material, including disturbing characters and philosophies, swearing, layers of irony, and occasional graphic violence. Please use personal discretion, and do not enter without a sense of humour. If you can stand watching South Park or even the Simpsons, this likely shouldn’t present too much of a problem.

The second arc is using a loose timeframe between scenes, much like the manga itself. Jumps may imply anything from a few hours to several days. The portrayals are almost exclusively firmly rooted and sourced in the source material, rather than any derivatives.

The second chapter will contain a brief mild lemon segment. It’s comparatively inoffensive, and is used for story purposes, not remotely intended as a main focus, but is nonetheless present.

Mediaminer seems unable to decipher certain signs beyond the standard, so in various cases the correct spelling has been replaced by the closest equivalent letter.

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Urd, higher-dimensional entity, goddess of the past, the chief system maintainer of reality, only daughter of the king of the gods and the queen of the demons, and potentially the third most powerful being in her reality, felt mind-numbingly bored of monitor duty. When this was the case she sometimes 'investigated' the particularly bug-infested area of Nerima. The hijinks of a bunch of unhinged martial artists in particular usually provided her with amusement. However, her entertainment source was slowly turning dull and repetitive. Most of the 'stage-actors' seemed locked in circular routines and relationships... and nearly without any juicy stuff whatsoever! She'd like to shake up the status quo a bit and see what happened. Since so many people and irrational phenomena in the area were walking products of non-harmful glitches, viruses and flawed coding, some minor influence could usually be covered up as system repairs.

She had originally felt so motivated out of sympathy for the oldest Tendo daughter. While Kasumi did have friends and some social life, she was hampered from any apparent career prospects through her homeward responsibilities, but had eventually found a firm spot of tranquillity in herself, which allowed her to filter out harmful distractions while helping those around her. Kami-sama knew how she managed, but Urd found that she appreciated the girl for this similarity to her younger sister, and had tried several approaches to transfer a paid medical scholarship during free lunch breaks. Unfortunately, any attempts to work outside the framework of plausibility and existing phenomena would be auto-corrected, and she didn't have a lot to work with, especially given the harsh Japanese admission system. She had eventually set up a program to give notice if any rich foreigner, whose psychological profile would create strong immediate affection, ever visited the neighbouring area, while nudging her to study English correspondence courses. Even the required subliminal messages, or superficially chaotic minor happenstance goading people into a certain direction, could only be pulled off by the exceptionally skilled, and while Urd wasn't quite the best she certainly qualified for this category.

Ryoga was easily the most miserable of the bunch and he had turned nicer and more self-sacrificing with time so Urd had taken pity on him and barely managed to adjust the odds for conveniently encountering his seemingly perfectly suited girlfriend Akari. Give him a GPS and his life might be bearable again. She had also tried to mix Soun & Hinako, but those were the easier pieces. Ranma didn't come across as well matched with any of the girls clinging to him and even if he did it wouldn't provide a solution to the remaining entanglements. Oh sure, he and Akane genuinely cared for each other, they really did. They had proved willing to sacrifice their lives for each other in an instant, and were both usually kind and helpful towards people in general. However, his insensitive arrogance, unthinking ego-gratification, lack of ability to show appreciation, general unpredictability and propensity to use insults frequently hit all her most painful insecurities spot on. It triggered her most paranoid and frantic sides or enhanced her sense of inferiority, while this behaviour in turn made him even more guarded and emotionally unsettled. Urd would prefer if they both went on with their lives and gained partners who helped them to evolve... and what Urd wants Urd usually gets... even if the affected parties occasionally didn't seem to appreciate her efforts.

On the other hand she likely only had one shot for severe interference, and no real idea how to achieve widespread impact without turning the scenario rigid and unfunny... but eventually came up with a certain insight: "Delegate it!"

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Ranma found himself by the Tendo kitchen table. There was something irregular about the walls and furniture, but it didn't register as important. The contents of his plate outwardly resembled a bubbling blob of mixed black- and green-tinted toxic waste.
"Please try it." Akane urged him.
"It doesn't seem edible..." He mumbled.
She nervously glanced down at the stew. "I worked for 4 hours to make this... There's lots of pistachio."
"That explains the green parts. That stuff could try to bite my hand off... Can't you donate it to the army or something?"
"Ryoga claimed to like it."
"He's unconscious on the floor, and he's way tougher than I am!"
She took a tentative bite and recoiled in distaste. "I'm trying so hard, but it never works." She tried to stifle a tear.
"You're trying too hard with everything at once! You get too tense to actually develop any skills and turn into a nervous wreck!"
"You jerk!"
Ranma decided to enjoy the view, and rested his head against his arms, while he disappeared into the sky.

He continued eating. Whatever he chewed on carried a really nice taste.
Someone stood behind the combined open grill and counter in front of him. "Ran-chan let's marry ok?" It was a familiar, friendly and dependable voice, with a pronounced Kansai accent.
"Huh?"
"...We'll have a nice picket fence, a red house, five children and a poodle named Kiba!"
"Wait..."
"...We'll build an okonomiyaki dojo. All your students can buy dinner from me!"
"Look Ucchan..."
"...Maybe a pachinko parlour in one of the spare rooms..."
"You barely know me... We haven't met since we were children!"
"...And a big water-bed for eh-he-he... the evenings... probably in a sound proof room..."
"You have these starry-eyed daydreams of me and our future... I'm not even sure if I want to settle down or explore the world!"
"We'll be so happy... What!?"
"I'm not that reliable and unselfish a guy... Try to be realistic."
"How could you?! Betrayer! What about our children?! You said I was cute!"
"Ucchan, I thought it was going to give you faith in your femininity!"
"Waaah! I never want to see you again!"
Several okonomiyaki bombs simultaneously hit him and exploded.

He tried another piece. It was ok, but not quite as good as the previous mouthful. A dragon adorned the collapsible wall in front of him.
"Ranma like food?" This time he listened to a cheerful, girlish intonation, with thick Chinese dialect.
"Yeah sure, what is it?"
"Is Peking duck."
*Splffft!* "Duck? Sorry for a moment I thought..."
"Is Mousse. He always annoy Shampoo and try stop from seeing you. Obstacle is for killing." Her naive and upbeat expression didn't so much as twitch.
"What the... That's just sick! You didn't just kill him, you had to eat him too?"
She looked perplexed. "Shampoo no understand. Is good duck meat. Shame to waste."
He had to get away and decide what to do. "...Look, I have to go home... The others will wonder if I return too late."
"Is no problem. They no bother you."
"What?"
"Pervert girl, pancake girl, crazy girl, stupid panda, weird mama and crying man not want you marry Shampoo. Greedy girl bother Shampoo before. Tried get pay for Ranma and took pictures. Housewife girl try stop Shampoo. Obstacle is for killing." Molten lava could have frozen from her innocent manner of stating it.
"You monster! Are you serious? How did you keep the police from finding out?"
"Used instant Jusenkyo on bodies. They pork now. Is good. We run out soon."
"Ucchan!? Kasumi!? Akane!?! Mommy!?!?!... I'm going to kill you."
"Is not. Shampoo had fun but tired of game. You ate too-too much control mushroom."
She clapped her hands. "You obey Shampoo all times ok?"
*Clap!* "Stand still!"
*Clap!* "Go with Shampoo to
*Clap!* "Learn language!"
*Clap!* "Be good obedient husband!"
She noticed his stricken face. "Ranma not worry. Shampoo will use memory shampoo to make forget old life. Airen will like. Others would take back if alive."
She seemed to ponder something for a few seconds. "Shampoo love Ranma, but good spouse must be stern." She kicked him in the groin. "Is punishment for talk back to wife and judge older culture."
She walked toward the stairs. "We go flight in one hour." *Clap!* "Help pack bags!"
Ranma obeyed.

He found it hard to think straight or make conscious movements. Painful spasms ravaged his muscles and an annoying itch pestered his skin.
"I see you're awake. It does so turn me on, seeing my Ranma-darling helpless, in pain, all mine, away from those other hussies!" Something worried him with this tone. It was shrill and erratic, like whoever used it wasn't entirely awake.
He strained to take in the surroundings. He seemed to be tied with chains to a torture rack!
"Don't bother trying to escape. The concoction I fed you was quite potent."
She licked a steel-tipped whip. "Now scream for your Kodachi-sama! Ooohohohohohohoho!"
Several flashes of pain made the world go black again.

He was lying on a soft, pristine lawn. It was a clear day with a soft blue sky and a gentle breeze played with his hair.
"Peaceful isn't it?" A husky melodious voice appeared from nowhere.
"Yeah."
"You know, as it stands, this isn't going to be resolved with a happy ending."
"..."
"Your admirers being what they are, and your inability to cut them lose."
"Phyeah."
"I don't think they're right for you... or you for them in Akane's and Ukyo's case."
"Maybe, but I'm out of ideas."
"So what would you wish for in their stead?"
"Wish? Wishing is lame."
"Come on. Admit your desire."
"Ok, I'll play along. I wish I had a perfect girlfriend, who could support me and help to handle this mess."
"Granted."

Ranma woke up with a splitting headache, but, as is often the case with dreams, he forgot most of the contents within minutes.

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Urd was happy. Her personal involvement may have been restricted to minor probability modifications, but with her carefully arranged official prerogative matters were very different indeed. Fortunately, repeatedly saving the life of Akane, some children... even that of an ingrate like Nabiki, at the risk of his own, and even helping some enemies out of tight spots, barely made him legible for a wish despite various character flaws. Naturally, so were several million others, usually with the few recipients randomly picked, with likelihood in relation to karma level and potential contents of the request. Wishes were intended to be an in-built system balance to the horrors plaguing the world. Thus they were usually granted to great humanitarians who dreamed of creating successful charity organisations or world-improving inventions (world peace would circumvent free will, which wasn't desirable and similarly vast changes would direct a wasteful degree of system capacity to enforce), with all recollection of the incident removed afterwards.

However, to avoid feelings of detachment, apathy and helplessness from silently overlooking the world without interfering, high-level goddesses did earn a small quota of people they could cherry-pick among the acceptable candidates every century or so. As a bonus feature in case they wanted to help out a struggling friend they had socialised with or someone they'd taken a like to. Heroes of legend sometimes belonged to this category. Descents to Earth were rare nowadays, so it was more of a forgotten rule, which hadn't been rectified since few were expected to use it, but it still existed. Her sister had used the opportunity (to snatch a childhood friend) and now so did she.

Of course, Urd's view of the ‘perfect girlfriend’ was coloured by her own biases and the requirements of the situation. The power of the wish was still in proportion to the subject's combined virtuous nature and actions, so it would turn far more influential if she worked within the context of equivalent local power sources, regardless if the set-up stretched into the past. The external intervention would also become far less palpable for those involved.
(Now who to pick? ... Someone crafty enough to handle the repercussions and have come up with something similar enough to what I have in mind... Let's see the suggestions... Just one huh?)
She skimmed through the data. (The profile says that for various reasons she's endeavoured to seal off or incapacitate the sections of her brain enabling conscience and compassion ever since her mother died. She now gains satisfaction from revelling in her ability to deceive, rob, terrorise and hurt others to great personal profit through as limited exertion as possible and without any negative personal consequences. It gives her sadistic entertainment, luxury and an orgiastic sense of power... Damn, she even makes me look like a saint in comparison! ...In any case she'll turn any boyfriend mental in no time with that attitude. Let's see what I can do about it!)

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Nabiki sneezed. She lost focus on the item at her desk and sat up in bed. She wasn't in a particular hurry. The other household members were out on various errands and wouldn't be back for a few hours. If she had waited several days for an opportunity to avoid inadvertent eavesdropping, she could suspend it for another 20 minutes. It was better to stick with routine than get lost in excitement and make a mistake. Time to make some easy hard cash!

It wasn't as simple as it used to, but she was enjoying the challenge to become more creative. While she encouraged Kuno-chan and the boys to keep up with their silly and volatile infatuation on Akane (quickly driving her sister insane in the process) she could usually flog dozens of pictures for sky-high prices at a single day. Alas, alack and all that.
At least this day had been pretty lucrative. She had sent Shampoo, Kodachi and Ukyo out of context pictures of Ranma being nuzzled by their rivals. Mousse and Kuno-chan had similarly received a copy each of the ones featuring Shampoo and Akane respectively. Hinako was informed that he was skipping schoolwork to pick up babes and Happosai that Ranma was stealing panties from his collection. She had then sent Ranma on an errand to the specified location and filmed the ensuing imbroglio. For a while it actually looked like Ranma might be killed in the melee. But Ryoga had unexpectedly showed up from the ground, didn't like to see anyone being bullied, beat up Kuno-chan & Mousse with a single attack and leapt away with Ranma over his shoulder while the girls were busy trying to stomp Happosai. It was rather amusing all in all. She thought the movie had a fair chance to claim a spot at a talk show or possibly a 'funniest home video' award. At the very least it should be a hit online and gain her nice advertisement revenues or even some lucrative attention from foreign parties if she played her cards right. Maybe she could direct some humiliation themed TV productions?

It didn't really matter if Ranma survived or not, but she needed him to pose in female form for her erotic handkerchief prints collection. If he wouldn't she had threatened to show a tape in her possession to the police. It featured sounds of an apparent assault and attempted rape, with Ranma's own words and her own faked screams in fear and pain condemning him. Of course she had intentionally distorted the contents of the scene. He had destroyed a somewhat less incriminating photograph, as well as a swiftly replaced copy of the cassette, but technically it shouldn't be too hard to acquire some fake witness.

She didn't completely lack funds, but all of them were tied up in personal investments. Regretfully she couldn't add the house and dojo as extra collateral without her father's knowledge. He was a sentimental idiot and she doubted that it would be very hard to gain access to his financial papers or faking his signature, as long as she didn't provide him with reasons for suspicion. But she also wasn't very experienced and for once didn't dare to risk being exposed and disowned through mishap or professional accounting reviews. It wouldn't matter if a great loss sent her family into the poorhouse; she had done that before during the Kasha-Oh affair. (The stubborn bastard wouldn't even give in when she stole his parachute) Technically Akane would likely get to inherit the dojo and Kasumi the house, but from a practical standpoint she needed a few years of education before even daring to make an attempt. Also, he provided her with free room and board. With market rates being what they were she'd rather not risk to pay for that by her own means. If nothing else, there was always an advantage to order delivered take-away on his credit. Perhaps she should have remained engaged to Ranma after all, to sell off the inheritance and play for the rest of her life as she had originally planned? No, it had turned too dangerous to be targeted by his unhinged admirers, and she didn't want to limit her 'romantic' options until attaining the eventual point of divorce.

Maybe she could simply offer to become his agent as a Kongmovie star, stuntman, or popular showman? It's not like he had many other prospects and it would be easy to trick him into giving her the main cut or eventually sign over all the proceeds. Maybe an early death could cause the memorabilia prices to skyrocket? It worked for Bruce Lee... She could let Ryoga think Ranma had raped Akari or was that too far fetched even for him? Decisions, decisions... (Stop dreaming! I'd need a few years of network building first! Better to deal with the present!)

(Oh well. Time to get spoiled by someone else's money!)
She picked up the phone. "Hi Yoshi-chan! You doing anything?"
"..."
"Uh-huh."
"..."
"I was thinking of you too."
"..."
"That's so sweet of you to say"
"..."
"I'm feeling lonely and have nothing to do tomorrow."
"..."
"Really? You too?"
"..."
"Dinner for two at 5 then."
"..."
"Hey, real ladies like men who can show them a good time."
"..."
"Sure, o'clockin the shopping district"
"..."
"Thinking of you. Bye." *Click!*
"They're sooooooo stupid. Leave it to the really rich kids to compare dick size through how much they can spend on their girlfriends."

"And now for some follow-up" She lifted the receiver again.
"Fusao-chan!"
"..."
"I feel so sad since you left me"
"..."
"You wound me"
"..."
"I need some emotional support to soothe my pain"
"..."
"Yeah, you know those pictures?"
"..."
"I think it's important to be honest with each other."
"..."
"Kikyo deserves to know how you used and threw me away behind her back"
"..."
"Is that any way for a gentleman to talk?"
"..."
"Uh-huh"
"..."
"50,000 Yen? You remember my account number right?"
"..."
"I feel so much better now Fusao-chan. I'm really glad we could have this talk."
"..."
"Ok. Love you. Bye-bye." *Click!*
"Whooo I feel hot!" She strolled over to the wardrobe.
"Now to pick which evening dress I should use to blow out poor Yoshi-chan's minuscule brains?" Usually she was content to 'loan' clothing from her sister, but this wasn't the type Akane was inclined to wear. It was an unpleasant, but necessary sacrifice. At least most of the collection consisted of gifts from admirers.

Nabiki had gradually endeavoured to suppress her capabilities for useless emotional reactions (They had overcome and broken her father into a loathsome sentimental, weak, useless, overprotective, undignified, snivelling wretch! His meagre incomes limited to savings, irregular dojo classes, and go-to-guy community odd jobs or enforcement, stuck in a rut of perpetual anxiety for his children's well-being, the continuation of his school, and useless for amassing opulence) or inclination for idealistic self-sacrifice (It crippled her elder sister's quality of life! She was repressed, self-denying, dull and stagnant. The antithesis of everything she valued!), and had thus far succeeded beyond a certain lingering nostalgia for her dead mother. She recognised their usefulness as humorous frailties to exploit, but that was it. When puberty kicked in full force it turned much harder in certain respects and she used to lust for well-travelled, rich and good-looking men, but as always she had eventually curbed any co-dependent maidenly feelings and directed the experience to her own advantage. By now her base sexuality was controlled and efficient, but she did appreciate how to use her appeal to the disadvantage of any potential suitors and received a certain erotic stimulation from the thrill of power and control.

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After making a decision she sat down at the desk, and once again contemplated the object in front of her. A few photographs of Ranma working out were spread about around it. She'd have to select whichever Kodachi might find appealing.

Contrary to certain beliefs she had no illusions about being either a genius, or even particularly good at schoolwork. Oh sure, she was reasonably intelligent and did ok, but she didn't have the soul-oppressing drive of her younger sister, and couldn't compete with a nation of elite students all immersed in a cram school mentality during their every waking moment. She liked to actually enjoy herself whenever she could. Her strengths lay in keeping a cool head, thinking on her feet, lack of ethical restraints, using other people's weaknesses to her advantage, an interest for economics and an enterprising spirit for maximum profit through minimum effort. In short, by local standards she was at heart lazy, sloppy, comfort addicted and an individualist aberration in a very conformist society, or simply a two-bit huckster, depending on whom you asked. Once accepted to a prestigious enough financial institution she reckoned that she'd manage quite satisfactory, and could apply for exchange programs abroad, to avoid the native female glass ceiling and 'work here until you die' asphyxiating pyramid business structure. But as matters stood she likely wouldn't make the cut, and it would severely strain her assets to pay for tuition at even a very moderately renowned foreign university. Still, her only recourses would be to manage the finances of a barely surviving dojo, hazard to live off her investment money, become a pathetic housewife or hopeless office lady! Fortunately she had access to certain esoteric information and resources unavailable to her peers. It had taken quite a bit of work, but could potentially augment her talents to near invincibility and open any path she desired! ...Potentially ...There were no guarantees when chaotic magic was involved.

According to her data the springs of Jusenkyo could mix curses, be dug and imprinted in present day, and even confer characteristic abilities associated with a well-known mythological being simply by immersing a representative image which had served as an object of faith. The effects could also be made permanent by a magic ladle, but it had unfortunately been destroyed. The foundation of the springs lay in which should make the magic pure, raw, unspecified and extra powerful. She had used one of her scarce contacts to abduct a small but old shrine statue portraying a well-known type of Shinto nature spirit, while corresponding with the local tour guide about methods to fully control of a curse. He had at first been baffled by the question but, since her family had helped him in the past, he went through the chronicles. He eventually informed her about a previous successful attempt accomplished by destabilising and empowering the magic through a mixture with equal amounts of source water and ingesting the mixture while in a state of intense focus on the intent. Satisfied with the answer she travelled to China, paid the guide to dig an ample well, waited until it was sufficiently saturated from the soil, immersed the sculpture, and carefully sampled equal parts water from this and a pre-existing spring into a small container. There had been some trouble when the guide proved reticent to help her gather source water out of fear from the tribe, but that nuisance had been taken care of by threatening to leak information about his and his daughter's previous involvement. She had arrived back at the Japanese airport just a few days ago.

Yes, everything would turn out just fine. She cleared her head of all qualms and distractions, focused on her greatest dream, and took a large swig. Unfortunately the guide didn't take kindly to threats to his family and had added a measure of two additional springs into the concoction.

A sudden wave of nausea caused Nabiki to lose her footing. She barely managed to direct her momentum towards the bed to avoid injury. An intense tide of doubts and regrets began to cascade across her mind.

Was it really a good thing to use and abuse people who had never hurt her in the slightest, just because she could? There had been so many throughout the years that she had lost count. A trail of broken hearts, emptied wallets, public humiliations, false allegations, destroyed reputations, shattered minds, arranged 'accidents' and life-threatening conflicts. She had helped to nearly drive her younger sister mad as a source of diversion and some extra cash, and even destroyed her wedding just to get presents! She had been willing to ruin her family for the sake of petty pride! Ranma had saved her life and she still used him as a slave for rental or husband for sale! She had been willing to frame him for assault and attempted rape just to watch him squirm! She sold nude prints of his female form on an international basis! She even traded her to the yakuza to pay off gambling debts! Her father was a mentally unbalanced, chronically depressed wreck without money for either personal therapy or to finance Kasumi's education. She had made enough from investments to help them out, yet still didn't care about spending Soun's limited finances on expensive fast food, selling his beloved dojo to live on the funds, or stealing her sister's clothes to avoid paying for them herself...

She directed several hard slaps towards her own face.
"Ok girl, get a hold of yourself… You can do this. You've done it before, many times. It's easy, like getting rid of old garbage... Deep breaths... Remember... empathy is the enemy. Empathy is the enemy. Nice people finish last. Nice people finish last. Pity is for losers. Pity is for losers... You enjoy life best when you don't care... The victor decides what's right and wrong... It's the law of the jungle... The weak are meat... The strong eat... Show me the money... Always look out for number one... I'm just self-centred... Conscience is a weakness... Greed is the strongest shield… 'Good' will... always... lose... because... it'ssss... sssstupid... Aaaauuuhhhhaa!!!"

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Urd hummed as she revised Nabiki's profile which, given that this was the computer whose software not only defined but constituted reality itself, truly encompassed the girl's entire essence. The installation of compassion and conscience levels comparable with an altruistic idealist had initially created nervous shock, but was quickly being stabilised by automatic sub-routines. She cheerfully continued to compose her assessment of the ultimate girlfriend.

Nabiki came to her senses again just in time to find her body beginning to shift and contort on its own accord. The involuntary hysteria had somehow abated, but she was beginning to feel atypically baffled by this development.

(Let's see. Guys like feminine women.) "Verbal directive 1: No body hair below the nose!"
Nabiki scratched her back. (How did my clothes suddenly turn so itchy?)
(Yeah, that's the spirit.) "Verbal directive 2: Smooth, unblemished complexion!"
"Oww!" To feel all your skin simultaneously straighten out will have that effect.
"Verbal directive 3: Increase total breast volume by 1.5! Round, firm and perky! Small nipples! Equalise outline!"
"Oww! Oww! Oww! Oww! Owwwwww!" Her shirt had already been more than tight enough.
(Mature and foxy is good.) "Verbal directive 4: Legs 1.4x length of remaining body!"
"Whoa!" (As if the weight in front wasn't enough!) Nabiki waved her arms while trying to stay upright.
"Verbal directive 5: Trim, tight butt!"
"Ouwp!" (Careful. I almost lost balance there.)
"Verbal directive 6: Elastic dancer stomach!"
(Now I feel nauseous as well. Did I eat something inappropriate?)
"Verbal directive 7: Curved, high-heeled feet!"
"Ouch!" That was the final blow. Nabiki fell backward straight on her behind. "...And now I'm officially freaked out."

"You are quite the amateur. How is the poor girl even supposed to walk?" A refined, ladylike voice interrupted the procedure.
Urd spun around her office chair. "Peorth? When did you get here?"
"Oh, I noticed that some discourteous personage was overreaching her assigned jurisdiction, and entered into mine sans demander. I trans-shifted locations shortly afterwards."
"Meaning: You've monitored everything, but just arrived?"
"Mm-hmm."
"You know that I am the head sys-admin and haven't used up my quota right?"
"Yes, well I am the head of direct assistance to and interaction with the mortal plane. You should have briefed me about your intentions. Dream-spinning alone is extremely questionable."
(Typical.) Urd generally liked Peorth, she was a benevolent and hard-working goddess with similar tastes to herself, but also a stickler for procedure and hated to feel disrespected. Worse, she could easily shut this down. Thankfully she had an edge. While Peorth was limited to misdirection, Urd could lie.
"Well, I knew that you would be automatically notified of all potential interference. There was no chance that a professional like you would ever slack off her duties. I simply assumed that my small pastime shouldn't preoccupy your busy schedule."
"Well then, that's different, but I don't mind une petite pause. You are obviously not used to this."
"What's that supposed to...? ...Sure."
"I endeavoured to signify that some are able to distinguish between excess and elegance."
"Some apparently don't have any choice."
"Ohohohohoho... shut up."

"If I may continue... Verbal directive 8: Permanent healthy light brown hue! Blue eyes! Light blond hair!""
Nabiki sat on the floor studying her hand and holding some stray tresses. (Which nationality am I supposed to be anyway?)
"That’s exactly what I am talking about! You are trying to turn her into yourself!"
"And that's bad because...?"
"Beyond not being able to move through other means than crawling? Because she's Japanese, and nobody will be able to recognise her with so many modifications! You have to stick with subtlety... Verbal command: Override: Section Authority: Goddess First Class Unlimited, Peorth!"
"Hey!"
"Verbal directive 9: Undo verbal directive #4, #7, #8! Multiply #3 by 0.8!"
"Why did you get rid of the tan?
"Too glaring. Besides, why is a tan associated with health?" She theatrically embraced herself. "L’oh, I have a tan! My skin is crusty and I may get cancer! Hug me and get chafed!"
"Because natural mulatto pigmentation is intuitively associated with a healthy, diversified genes supply?"
"Too bad that nobody informed you that blond hair and blue eyes are recessive traits then. Your manifestation form isn't exactly inconspicuous."
"Thanks! It's always nice to confirm it."

Nabiki tried to clear her head. (Ooohhkay, I seem...mostly...back to normal.) She managed to stand up. (Ok, so far so good. Let's assess what's happened.)
"Verbal directive 10: Milky-cream lustrous, velvety skin! Gentle eyes, under thick lashes, with an impish, erotic glint! Supple, pink, pouting lips!"
Nabiki stood before the wardrobe mirror. She lifted an eyebrow. "I seem to metamorphose into a painted Barbie doll."
"Oh yes, now you're turning her into yourself instead. Why not make them cherry-flavoured while you're at it?"
"At least it's more restrained than what you had in mind. Verbal directive 11: Elastic tongue!"
Nabiki unstuck a sticky, damp object from the top of her brow. (...A Barbie-doll successfully impersonating a frog.) "Ou can au! Ich ich nok changy!"
"...Peorth ...look ...that one is really not necessary. Check the enhancements I had selected for the next step."
"...Oh! Well ... d'accord alors. Verbal command: Jump section! Verbal directive: Upload prepared traits: kitsune, replica, empath, mender!"
Nabiki promptly turned into a featureless pink blob on the floor. Her usual enforced veneer of dignity and sarcasm literally slipped out of her grasp. Fear and panic quickly replaced any quaint charm she had perceived in the previous situation. She couldn't move! She couldn't see! She couldn't talk! She had no control! (What did I ever do to deserve this? ...Don't answer! ...I really wish I were back to normal!)

She tried to visualise herself sitting on the bed, in the casual clothes she wore when this begun, and dissipate this obvious hallucination... and suddenly she was! (Ok... that's fine... that's good... everything is all right.)
She picked up the closest notebook and begun to write down the experience for her regular psychotherapy session... regular beginning tomorrow that is... until she remembered that she neglected to retrieve a pen. She looked down at the written text, then to her forefinger, and repeated the motion. (This has definite possibilities!)
She envisioned her hand in the shape of a mallet. (So far, so good.)
She managed to make give it the semblance of a mobile phone, but not to make it work. (No advanced technology, which I can't thoroughly comprehend... at least not yet... Does that include even more intricate biological mechanisms? I've managed to put myself back to normal, so I guess not. Perhaps similar enough structures are auto-patterned after my base?)
She made a few minor tests by reconverting to the beautified version of herself seen in the mirror (minus the tongue!) and creating various elegant dresses. (Oh yeah! The high-society boys are going to eat their hearts out for my attention!)
To contrast she tried to imagine Kasumi and Hinako beside her in the same attire... and suddenly appeared to both be and not be in several places at once. It was hard to describe, but on one level she was aware of the actions of several people and on another had 3 separately thinking and acting minds. She took the opportunity to make comparisons and, after convincing herself as being superior to either her sister or the schoolteacher, she put herself back together. (Never mind all the initial silliness, my gamble has paid off far beyond expectation! It worked! It worked! It worked! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!)

Emboldened, she speedily borrowed the image of various female celebrities, combined their characteristics and increased or decreased her volume and mass.
(Oh yeah... the inheritance.) It no longer seemed relevant, but she made an attempt to mimic Soun's features just to make sure. (No result huh?) She didn't really care, but mentally outlined various other males, still unsuccessfully. She shrugged. She had a strong female identity and wouldn't have enjoyed turning into men, and she would hardly need it. As for her family, that was even less important. Let them all keep their little breadcrumbs. It didn't concern her any more. She had evolved so far beyond them that it wasn't funny!

This embodied every opportunity she had ever dreamed about! She could seduce any man to do her bidding, or just dispose of his girlfriend/mistress/wife and use the identity! Once she obtained that memory-adjusting formula she'd rewrite recollections to smoothly invade, disappear or forge backgrounds as she saw fit! She could masquerade as nearly anyone she wished, exploit their resources as her own, or use them as scapegoats! She had no accountability whatsoever, and could freely use society as her personal playground by using non-existent personas! She could pay for elite studies abroad and enrol for multiple occupations at once, without feeling that she neglected any subject, and simultaneously explore every pleasure and experience the Earth had to offer! She could even start over and re-live her childhood, if she ever felt inclined! (This is exhilarating! I'm free! Free! Free! Take that world!)

No! That was the old Nabiki speaking! It made her nauseous to hear such filth! She would never do such horrible things or desert her family! This was a wonderful gift. She shouldn't simply squander it for personal gain, but use it to help and support those she loved! ...Though it seemed harmless to study many subjects. She could use it to work for several times the pay, which she could send to her family, or donate to charitable purposes, and amass diversified knowledge that could benefit mankind. Yes! She should be open and honest with them about this opportunity, contact a wholesome modelling agency, outline her unique talents and offer her services. This should give her enough capital to pay her father's debts, support treatment for him and her younger sister, rent a maid and send Kasumi to study medicine abroad! She could relocate and turn into a Kongand stuntwoman! It wasn't fair to let others put themselves at jeopardy if she could easily withstand and mend ordinary forms of damage. Perhaps she could become a hostage negotiator? No, that was for later. She didn't have the trai... "What the fuck is this!?!?"

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Urd rested her head on her hands. "The auto-stabilisers barely managed to handle that. The girl is experienced in circumventing any signs of scruples."
"Oui, but I wonder something: If she was intended to freely switch guises, what was the point of the previous trouble?"
"...Fun?"
"So you lost track again?"
"Don't ask a question that you already know the answer to."
"...Be that as it may. I'm concerned about the ethics of this endeavour."
"Oh?"
"We are not supposed to force people to follow our path, simply enlighten or inspire them."
"While the opposition feels no such compunctions whatsoever, disdainfully calls your lessons of kindness 'preaching', while gladly doing the same in the reverse direction?"
"Oui, that is our cross to bear, or it will all become meaningless. The road to perdition..."
"...Is most definitely paved with bad intentions... I should know. That citation can either be read as a passivity-inducing precaution, or as cynical propaganda for even greater amounts of murderous ruthlessness instead of trying the alternatives. 'A clever saying does not prove a point, including this one.' "
Peorth allowed herself a fond smile. "That's a mishmash of different quotes, and you're enough of a hypocrite to attempt to justify your own 'dirty hands for my greater good' by lambasting that very philosophy."
"I didn't say I either completely disagreed with the precaution, or minded to get my hands dirty, if it seems like the best solution. I just don't buy into either absolute. Especially not the implication that benevolence is worse than malevolence... Don't worry though; as you've seen she can fight down her reinforced impulses, but no longer ignore them. I've simply allowed her a truly two-ended viewpoint, instead of remaining an 'emotional cripple'."
"So you've turned her into a schizophrenic?"
"No, 'mood-swings' might be more accurate. It could become amusing to watch."
"And your formula differs from giving a drug addict 10 pounds of cocaine and saying 'you're on your own'?"
"Yes. Her running program will help her learn to alleviate the tension from access to genuine power."
"So what gives you the right to interfere?"
"What gives anyone the right to do anything? I see her as a career criminal who is finally caught and given an enormous gift, and a chance for redemption, on the provision that she doesn't terrorise people. The downside is that it takes far greater strength to successfully carry a sincere conscience than to discard it, and if she gives in to her basest nature and goes too far, a failsafe ensures that she instantly looses the advantage. Accidentally letting lose one terror on the world was quite enough, thank you, and even without completely running amok she's still going to be much better off than before."
"Combined positive and negative reinforcement, which eventually gives her equilibrium somewhere in the middle, but constant awareness of the edges, much like yourself?"
"Except that I was born into my yoke, that this is much better than she deserves, and is an infinitely lighter burden to wear."
"Your angel has turned more white than black Urd, but it was your choice to make."
"Yes and no. I was influenced and inspired by my mostly one-sided surroundings like everyone else. We all get heavily conditioned. It's just about if you're willing to work with that, be content to let your virtues lose all merit by opposing propaganda, simply stick to technical evaluation results, or, as in this case, attempt to 'deprogram' others, which of course is also a concept relative to your nature and viewpoint. She still has a choice, but has to take both sides into account... Now, if you're quite satisfied, as a final touch..." Her face took a gleeful, terrifying bent. "...I'll show you an authentic mind-fuck!"

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Nabiki once again sat down at the desk to collect her thoughts. What was wrong with her today? It was almost like that recent incongruous nightmare where she used all her earnings to pay her father's bills and somehow managed to be jealous that her diligent, but flustered kid sister was so 'popular' and 'spoiled' due to the boys attacking her every morning. Nabiki herself took the role of a woefully inadequate, pitiful, dateless romantic, who waited for someone to 'rescue her from her fate' and 'ice-queen facade'. Pshaw, as if she'd ever need to rely on anyone else for that, or didn't need to keep her suitors away with a shovel. Her only 'facades' were the ones she simulated to fleece them for everything they were worth. The very notions filled her with enough contempt to actually recall the particulars after she awakened. Only... curiously everyone had called her Nanami Jinnai...

No scratch that, this was even worse! It was a once in a lifetime occasion, but she was turning into her pointlessly self-neglecting elder sister. She replicated her features and took on a vacuous expression, while wearing a tiara, a sailor skirt and holding a golden baton... with a small vacuum cleaner at the end? "Wheee! I'm Kasumi the magic girl! I'm going to make the world a better place through rainbows, happy thoughts, sunshine, hugs, and cotton candy, and will die a bitter, unfulfilled spinster... since the world... doesn't... work... for... stupid... fucking... martyrs! Aaaaah!"

She struck the desk hard enough to send a few of the spread about photographs into the air. (Right ...Kodachi's collection. Routine is good to get out of my funk. If I'm suddenly too touchy-feely to truly expand my repertoire, at least I can stick to habit.)
She shifted back and inspected the images of Ranma in action. Doing a one hand stand, working out, training with his father... (The useless, pathetic, obnoxious, undignified, idiotic jock. Good for nothing but aimlessly running around, hitting things, taking up space, eating my food, and making a disgraceful fool of himself, or herself, whichever the case may be. At least he's good for entertainment and embarrassingly easy to manipulate. People like him are asking to be used like the cattle they are. How can Akane or any of the other idiotic, puerile brats ever find him fascinating? Why that... yes, perhaps there is something alluring in his demeanour. Why couldn't I see that before? He's so strong! So healthy! So kind! So forceful! I wish he'd enter on a white horse and save me from my loneliness! He'd take me in his arms and hold me forever! I need him! I want to comfort him, and snuggle him, and support him, and love him, and help him, and heal him, and save him from all the troubles of the world!) Several minutes of passionate fantasies soon followed.

Nabiki eventually woke up from her trance, and began to wipe the sweat and drool off her face. This wasn't so bad after all. So maybe she seemed a bit more guilt-ridden than usual, but this wonderful new feeling easily more than compensated it. Nabiki licked her lips in anticipation as she catalogued all the new exciting ways she could use to catch her boyfriend-to-be. Ranma had yet to come home to recover from his previous ordeal. Ryoga had likely managed to carry him a few hours of travel-time away from the dojo. She smirked, opened the door, and went out to prepare a proper welcoming ceremony.

"And just when I thought this couldn't turn more bizarre. You've shifted her attitude towards him 180 degrees from its usual direction. “Spring of drowned kitsune”... “Twin”... “Virtuous woman”'... And now “Utterly devoted wife”... To be imprinted on the first man she sees?! ...Sometimes you genuinely frighten me Urd."
"Hah! And don't you forget it!"
"And what fell outside this pattern..."
"...Were tweaked or supercharged reminiscent enchantments, or empowered by the wish itself and remnant raw Jusendo magic."
"Along with a database filled with specified talents, erotic expertise, and many notable faces and demeanours including our own?"
"It would be a shame to let her remain an amateur."
"So what if her father, or Genma had entered her room?"
"...I don't want to imagine it."
"Nevertheless, this outrageous travesty was bad enough. I'm putting you on 'observe but don't touch' restriction. No more wishes, no dreams, no descent to lower planes, no direct interference whatsoever! They'll have to manage on their own. You're most definitely out of the picture."
"I can live with that." (...Since you didn't mention any routine causality tuning, and given that you're nosy enough to relent yet ... Come to think of it, is any of that water still around?)

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Coming up:
Ranma goes into hypnotic sex therapy.