Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Dragonball Z Outtakes From the Cell Saga ❯ DragonballZ Outtakes of the Cell Saga ( One-Shot )

DBZ Outtakes from the Cell Saga

(Piccolo watches as Cell reveals himself from Gingertown's shadows.)

Piccolo: At last we… **looks surprised, then quotes Predator** You are one ugly mother [CENSORED!]

Cell: **cracks up** Okay, what happened?

Piccolo: **embarrassed** I forgot my lines.

Director: Cut! Do over!

Cell: It's "At last we meet face to face."

Piccolo: Okay, I'll get it right.

***

Piccolo: At last we…[CENSORED!]

***

Piccolo: At last we meet… **pauses, then cracks up** Man! Wait, wait, don't tell me! I remembered it! Aw, damn!

***

Piccolo: Who wants to be a millionaire?

Cell: **shakes his head** This is going to be a long day.

***

Cell: Silly Piccolo. My secrets will not be unlocked so easily.

Piccolo: **growl** Whatever. I'll kill you anyway, whoever you are.

Cell: **chuckle** You're even more amusing than I imagined.

Piccolo: **smirks** At last we meet, face to face.

Cell: **blink blink** **angry** Oh, now you remember that line?! Jeezus!

Director: Cut! Piccolo, what's going on? How come you can't remember your lines?

Piccolo: **shrugs** I dunno. Maybe it's something in the coffee…

***

Piccolo: **holding his lame arm** But before I submit to you, I want you to honor my last request. Tell me, who are you? And why do I sense Goku's power in you? And Freeza's? And Vegeta's?

Cell: **smiles and stands straighter** Very well. Since you're literally "dying" to know, I don't see any harm in telling you. My name is Cell. I am an android.

Piccolo: **startled** You…you're an android?

Cell: … **frowns** Aw, [CENSORED!] I don't believe this!

Director: What?

Cell: **looks at the director** I completely forgot what comes after that.

Piccolo: **lol** You forgot your lines! **doubles over laughing**

Cell: **glares** Well, at least it's a fifteen minute monologue and not one sentence, Mr. I-Know-The-Script-Like-The-Back-Of-My-Hand!

Director: Knock it off you two!

***

Piccolo: So what made you choose this specific time?

Cell: I didn't. The coordenants were preset by Trunks. I simply pushed a button, and…

(Suddenly, a cell phone rings.)

Cell: Grrr…not now! **takes out his cell phone** Hello?

Director: I thought you turned off your phone.

Cell: **brings the phone away from his face** Hell no. I might get an important call.

Piccolo: You'll drain the batteries, you idiot.

Cell: Well, look at you! You have two pagers!

Piccolo: I don't leave them on when I'm filming.

Cell: … **turns his attention back to his calls** So, can you call me back later?

***

Cell: **rubs his head** Man, I've got a migraine… I'm in a really disgruntled mood today…

Bus driver: **honks at Cell** Hey! Get outta the way, roadblock!

Cell: **flips off the driver** …

Bus driver: Hey! That's not in the script!

***

Cell: **looks around at the surrounding football players** What? No Joe Montana? Oh, wait a minute, he retired! Right?

Director: Cell…

Cell: **shrugs at the director** What?

***

Cell: **runs down a nature trail** There should be a town not too far from…**trips over a tree root** HEEEE-OOF! **lands flat on his face** … Damn!

***

TV: (y'know, the one in the Basil Airport** …so if you see the suspect, don't panic, do whatever he says…

Cell: **kicks in the TV, and it explodes on his foot** OW! **hops around on one foot while holding his injured one** Owie, owie, owie, owie, owie, owie…

Krillin: **off set** "Owie?"

***

(Cell "chases the mother and child through the plane hanger, keeping a straight face. Off to the side of Cell's path, Goku, Gohan, Krillin, Trunks, and 17 make funny faces at Cell.)

Cell: **glance** **hangs his head and cracks up**

(Okay, so I stole this one from Toy Story 2, I confess. There are a few stolen ones in this fic. See if you can find which ones they are.)

***

(After Krillin headbutts Cell in the gut, Cell falls off the plane towards the wing. Krillin jumps after him. Cell lands on his feet, but starts to lose his footing and slip. He tries to dig the claws on his feet into the wing, but he can't. He fans out his wings to balance himself, but it's no use. He falls off the wing screaming. He catches himself in mid air, and hovers.)

Cell: **a little cross** Cut.

Krillin: **looks after Cell** What the heck happened?

***

(After Cell breaks down the plane hanger doors, he keeps his sights on the escaping mother and child, but he suddenly cracks up.)

Cell: Hey, Shelly! Hold up!

Mother: **stops running and looks over her shoulder** Huh?

Cell: You've got a "kick me" sign on your back. **points**

Mother: **reaches behind her, and rips off the sign** Alright, who's the wise guy?

***

Cell: Silly Piccolo. My secrets will not be unlocked so easily.

Piccolo: Why do I have to unlock your secrets when I already know what they are?

Cell: **sweatdrop** You don't know my secrets.

Piccolo: Yeah I do. There's a cue card right in front of me. **points**

Cell: **turns to see Trunks holding up cue cards for the "My Name Is Cell" monologue** Grrr…Trunks! Dammit!

Trunks: **grins** Hee hee!

***

(Attempting the plane wing scene again. Cell lands on the wing on his feet. Again, he slips and a loud squeak is heard under his feet. He tries to dig his claws into the metal, but something greasy keeps him from doing so. He instantly falls off, and lands on his head on the ground.)

Cell: **very upset** Cut! Okay, who put Vaseline on the wing?!

(Goku and Trunks, off the set, laugh and high five. Cell gets up and angrily chases them out of the area. Everyone else is laughing very hard.)

***

(Krillin saves the mother and child from Cell.)

Cell: Ha! It's Krillin. **to Krillin** And how did you know I was here?

Krillin: I can smell you from a mile away!

Cell: **blink blink** Really? You can?

Krillin: **not getting the joke** Yeah, you need a shower!

Cell: **clears his throat, and rubs his thumb where his nose should be**

Krillin: **puts a hand where his nose should be** Oh yeah! You're right!

Mother: **points accusingly at Cell** Well, you don't have a nose either! What's your advantage?

Cell: **slaps his forehead laughing** Oh yeah! You're right!

***

(#16, 17, and 18 ride in the van to Goku's house. 18 is wearing her western outfit.)

18: I hope you know how much I hate this outfit. I look like a cowgirl. Do you think we have the time to find me something better?

17: **starts blushing** I … I … su…pose…

18: **looks over 17** What's wrong?

17: God, you have the sexiest voice, 18…

18: **shocked** What?!

Director: 17, don't talk that way about your sister!

17: **looks at the director** So what if she's my sister, she's hot!

(18 screams and slaps 17. 16 shakes his head with a disappointed chuckle)

***

(Cell, after arriving on the Piccolo vs. 17 fight and powering up, walks past a bugged out Piccolo and stops a few inches away.)

Cell: **teasingly** What's wrong? Ya frightened?

Piccolo: No, you're on my foot.

Cell: **jumps away** Oops! Sorry.

17: **lol**

(If you don't get that one, watch the episode with the scene in it. You'll get it.)

***

Cell: **teasingly** What's wrong? Ya frightened?

Piccolo: **too bugged out to say anything** …

Cell: Don't be ashamed. It's hard, I know. You feel my power is hard to bare.

Piccolo: **turns around** What do you…there's a sign on your back.

Cell: There's a sign on your back too. What does mine say?

Piccolo: "Kick me." What does mine say?

Cell: "Eat me." Which isn't a bad idea. C'mere!

(Cell chases Piccolo around the set)

Piccolo: Who keeps putting these signs on our backs!?!

***

Cell: Rejoice 17 and 18, sister and brother! The three of us are…

17: WHAT?!

18: I thought I was the sister…

Cell: **hides his face in his hand** Sorry, slip of the tongue. Let's try that again.

18: Yeah right! You were thinking of me again, weren't you?!

Cell: **blushes** Well…

17: **still upset about the "sister and brother" slip** YOU MOTHER [CENSORED!]

***

Cell: Rejoice 17 and 18, brother and sister. The three of us are like pieces to a puzzle meant to come together. Come to me, join me, together as one we will control the greatest power in the universe. … **scratches his head** I skipped a lot of lines, didn't I?

17: You skipped two sentences and left out six words.

Cell: **disappointed** [CENSORED!]

Piccolo: Cut! I wanna know what exactly in the coffee is giving us memory loss!

***

(#16 rips off Cell's tail, and flings it aside where it wiggles around. Suddenly, the dismembered tail crawls around like a worm up to #18. The bugged out android climbs up a tree, screaming, to escape.)

Cell & 16: **laugh and point at 18**

(The tail then crawls to 17, who's working the remote control for the lost limb.)

17: 18, that look on your face was priceless! **lol**

18: **growl and scowl** You three set this all up?!

17: **beams like an idiot** Yep!

(18 runs towards 17, and proceeds to beat him up while 16 and Cell laugh so hard they're rolling on the floor.)

Director: This is all a conspiracy against me, isn't it? It's all a frikken conspiracy…

***

(As the androids watch Piccolo and Cell fight, 18 feels something on her back. She pulls it off to find that she had a sign on her back that reads "Tweedle-Dee." Curious, she looks at 16's back and reads a sign that reads "Tweedle-Dum." Trying not to laugh, she looks at 17's back and that his sign reads "Tweedle-Dork." She starts laughing uncontrollably, startling her two comrades.)

16 & 17: What?

Piccolo & Cell: **stops fighting** What do their signs say?

18: **to the androids** Turn around guys, show 'em.

Cell: Who does keep putting these signs on our backs?

***

Piccolo: It's not your power, Cell! You stole it from the lives of innocent people!

Cell: What? Fool, stole it? … Uh, oh [CENSORED], not again!

Piccolo: Improvise! Quick!

Cell: **pretends to cry and plead** I'm sorry, God! I didn't mean to kill all those people! They just wouldn't be my friend!

Piccolo: Uh…ok, I guess that works…

Director: No it doesn't! Cut! Do over!

Cell: Piccolo, do I need therapy?

Piccolo: Duh.

***

Cell: **tosses Piccolo's body into the sea** Alone at last. It appears Piccolo will no longer be joining us. **looks at the androids** Don't be afraid, 17. This is your destiny. And you too, 18, my little peach. I'm gonna gobble you up. **lol** **makes a disappointed face, then looks at the director** No, no, no! I wanna take that line out. "Gobble you up?" What is she, five years old?

18: Little bro has a point. It's a stupid line.

Director: No arguments, people! That's the final script and we're sticking to it!

Cell: **stubbornly** Forget it! I don't like that line! I want it taken out, and I'm not working until it's out of the script!

Director: Say it, or I'll cut your pay.

Cell: O.O

(Guess who won that argument.)

***

(Vegeta faces off against Cell's second form.)

Vegeta: I'm not afraid of you, Cell! **turns around** Look, my back's turned. **there's a sign on his back that reads "Pretty In Pink."**

Cell: **falls over laughing**

Vegeta: **glares at Cell** What? What's so funny?

Cell: The Back Signer strikes again!

Vegeta: Huh? **reaches behind him, rips off the sign and reads it** This is Trunk's handwriting…

Trunks: Busted! **flies away**

Vegeta: **flies after Trunks** You're in big trouble, Trunks!

Cell: **blink, blink** It was Trunks this whole time?

***

Cell: 18, don't you realize that you belong to me? We belong together.

18: **gets the wrong idea** **starts cracking up** That's sick! You're my brother!

Cell: So what if you're my sister, you're hot and I wanna marry you.

18: **screams and pimp slaps Cell to the ground**

Director: **turns to Trunks off the set** What did I tell ya, a conspiracy.

Trunks: Geez, these guys are worse than me…

***

(Cell walks up to 18 to absorb her. She backs away in fear. Suddenly, as Cell takes a step, he falls down a deep hole that was purposely covered in dirt.)

Cell: Hey! What the [CENSORED] gives?!

17: **walks onto the set, and looks down the hole** Whoops. Sorry, Cell. I didn't mean to trap you.

Cell: **head pokes out of the hole** This was a trap?

17: Yeah. See, my pet tiger escaped again from my trailer this morning, and I'm trying to catch it.

18: Your tiger escaped again?

16: Did it get fed before it escaped?

Cell & Director: You have a pet tiger?!

***

(Attempting the scene again, Cell walks towards 18 as his stinger fans into a funnel. Out of the blue, 17 walks onto the set with a Siberian Tiger.)

Cell: **sneezes** Atchoo! **funnel shrinks back into the stinger** Huh?

17: Bless you.

Cell: **looks at 17, sees the tiger, and freaks** AAAAA! **hides behind 18** That is a huge cat!

Trunks: **eyes light up** Cool!

Director: Cut! **cold tone of voice** I see we found Mr. Tiger.

17: Yep. I found out that he's attracted to the color green.

Cell: **panics** Oh God! Atchoo! Keep that thing away from me! Atchoo! I'm allergic to cats!

18: **pats Cell's head** It's okay. I'm sure 17 fed it already.

17: Huh? Oh yeah! **slaps forehead** I knew I was forgetting something.

Cell: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Atchoo!

***

(When Cell finishes becoming perfect, and he hovers in the air, he slowly floats to the ground. When he lands on his foot, however…)

Cell: **makes a series of painful faces** YEOW!

Trunks: Huh? What happened?

Cell: **yanks the tack out of his foot** Trunks!

Trunks: It wasn't me.

Cell: **looks off stage** 17?

17: **off stage** **shakes his head**

Cell: Then who…

Krillin: **rocks back and forth on his feet, whistling "innocently"**

***

(Before Vegeta and Perfect Cell fight, 16 moves behind Cell to attempt a sucker punch.)

Cell: Ah-ah-ah, 16. Don't even try it.

16: ?

Cell: … **sweatdrop** God damn it! Why do I keep forgetting my lines?! It's one frikken sentence!

Vegeta: **laughs at Cell**

***

Cell: Ah-ah-ah, 16. Don't even try it.

16: **suddenly starts cracking up**

Vegeta: **starts laughing too**

Cell: **looks back and forth between them** What? What? What's so funny?

16: It's an inside joke about this scene.

Cell: What inside joke? Mind sharing?

Vegeta: It looks like 16 was trying to check out your butt. Think about it: "Ah-ah-ah, 16. Don't even try it?"

Cell: **sweatdrop** Let's get two things clear: one, I don't tolerate hentei, especially yaoi. Two, I don't have a butt.

16: That's not what Masquerade thinks.

(Hey! Keep me out of this, 16!)

***

(Cell stands and stares at his now perfect hand while Krillin and Trunks try to beat him up.)

Trunks: Aw man! He's not even flinching!

Krillin: Yeah, it's like we're not doing anything to him.

18: **suddenly walks onto the set** Hey! I think I know how to get him moving. Step aside. **walks up to Cell's right side, and kisses his cheek**

Cell: **no such luck** …

18: **kisses him again**

Cell: **nope** …

Trunks: **hovers by Cell's left, and kisses his cheek**

Cell: **makes a very awkward face** **slowly turns his head to glare at Trunks**

Trunks: **happy face** You moved!

Cell: **chases Trunks around the set** You sick little [CENSORED!]

Everyone: **lol**

***

(Trunks and Krillin futily try to beat up Cell.)

Cell: **smirk** That's right. Play little children.

(Suddenly, Trunks accidentally kicks Cell in the…area…really hard…)

Cell: **goes bug eyed, and falls over in pain** Ooooooooooo!

Krillin: **lol** Oh my God! Trunks, how could you?!

Trunks: **on the ground, laughing** I didn't mean to, it was an accident! **he and Vegeta help Cell up**

Vegeta: Are you alright, Cell?

Cell: **high pitched voice** Trunks, you pray to God that was an accident!

Trunks: **upon hearing Cell's voice, falls back down on the ground, laughing his ass off** He sounds like Chao-tzu on helium!

***

(Cell starts building his arena. He cuts up rocks into squares, and flings them onto the land. However, one of the squares whacks him right upside the head.)

Cell: Ow! Geez…ow!

***

(Mr. Satan, AKA Hercule, taunts Cell before the Cell Game.)

Cell: **not at all amused** …

Mr. Satan: You're gonna get a spanking, Cell! **turns and pats his bottom** **there's a sign on his fanny with a red target and the words "Hit the bullseye, win a prize!"**

Cell: **tries not to laugh** I don't know how Trunks does it. **clears his throat** Uh, Mr. Satan, is that an indication of where I'm supposed to kick you, or is that the logo of your favorite shopping center?

Mr. Satan: Huh?

***

(While "Losers Go First," Cell and Goku stare at each other intensely.)

Cell: …

Goku: …

Cell: … **blink!**

Goku: **points triumphantly** Ha! You blinked! Pay up!

Cell: D'oh! **walks over to Goku and gives him five bucks**

Goku: **five dollars richer** Never get in a staring contest with a Saiyajin.

Cell: **five dollars poorer** **sweatdrop** Man!

***

(Cell uses the multiform technique to split himself in four.)

Cells: **smirk**

Goku: You had this planned, didn't you, Cell?

Cells: **chuckle**

(From behind Cell, the Z men are laughing like crazy. Suspicious, all four Cells reach behind and, lo and behold, they have signs on their backs. Together, the four signs read: "We" "Are" "The" "Monkeys.")

Cells: **in unison** Very funny, Trunks.

***

(Cell starts to power up, and he fans out his wings. Written on them, in whiteout, are the words, "This space for rent.")

Goku: **points, lol**

Cell: **immediately reaches behind him for a sign, but doesn't find one** **looks his front side over, and discovers the writing** … **marches to the direction of the Z fighters** Trunks!

***

(Here's a trip down memory lane…)

Piccolo: At last we meet, base to base.

Cell: Base to… **shakes his head** Cut!

Piccolo: **puts his hand to his head** Why the hell can't I remember that line?!

Cell: You did, but you slipped. Try again.

Piccolo: Okay.

***

Piccolo: At last we meet, place to place.

***

Piccolo: At last we meet, chase to chase.

***

Piccolo: At last we… **frustrated** Can I just dub this over later?

***

Piccolo: At last we meet, face to face.

Cell: **growling** Rrrrrr…eeeeehhhhh…**burps loudly** Dammit!

Piccolo: **ticked** Cell! And I did it right this time, too!

Cell: **blushes, then starts cracking up** Sorry!

***

(Outside Cell's Arena, all the contestants of the Cell Game line up by the arena where Cell is standing.)

Everyone: **sings to the Mr. Grinch song** You're a mean one, Cell-sama! Your hearts and empty hole!

Cell: **recognizes the song, and laughs**

Everybody: **sings** Your brain is full of spiders, there's cobwebs in your soul, Cell-samaaa-ah!

Goku: **takes solo** I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-an-a-half foot pole!

Cell: **applauds** Bravo! Bravo! **points at Vegeta** You were flat.

Vegeta: Shaddup!

***

(Cell counts the Z fighters on the ledge.)

Cell: Let's see…one, two, three, four, five, six…hey, where's Trunks?

Gohan: **whistles to get Cell's attention**

Cell: **turns to look at Gohan, but sees Trunks taping a sign to his back** Busted, Briefs!

Trunks: Oh [CENSORED!] **runs for his life as Cell gives chase**

Gohan: **grabs the sign and reads it** Huh? I don't get it.

(Continued in next outtake)

***

("Children of Cell Attack!" Krillin takes a swipe at one, but misses.)

Cell Jr.: **looks over its shoulder** Ya missed me!

Krillin: **faces it, and sees a sign on its back that reads "Sneezy."** **tries not to laugh, but fails miserably** Don't tell me…cut! Hey Cell, Trunks put signs on all the Cell Jr.s!

Cell: **flat face** Is no one spared? **waves his hand down at the little monstrosities** Okay boys, line up.

(Cell Jr.s form a single file line in front of Cell.)

Cell: About face.

(Cell Jr.s turn around and, yes indeed, they all have signs on their backs reading the names of Walt Disney's seven dwarfs.)

Cell: I thought so.

Gohan: **lol** Hey Cell, the sign on your back makes sense now!

Cell: **reaches behind him, but there's no sign on his back** What sign where? What are you…

Gohan: Trunks got caught putting a sign on your back, remember? **holds up the sign in question** **It reads "Snow White."**

Cell: **sighs** Y'know Trunks? This sign thing is getting annoying.

Trunks: **smart-ass smirk** No it ain't!

***

(Cell's second form tries to coax 18 to him.)

Cell: **smiles** Here, you can talk to someone who knows how you feel. **closes his eyes, then opens them again** **uses 17's voice** 18, can you hear me? It's me, 17.

18: !!!

Cell: **voice suddenly changes to Goku's voice** I'm fine, 18. This power… **goes bug-eyed** **covers his mouth in surprise** What the hell?!

18: **confused** What?

16: **lol**

***

Cell: **in Piccolo's voice** 18, can you hear me? … Dammit!

***

Cell: **in Gohan's voice** 18, can you hear me? … Arrrrg!

***

Cell: **in 18's voice** 18, can you hear me? **goes bug eyed**

18: **goes bug eyed**

Director: **rapping his fingers angrily** Cell, are you having technical difficulties?

Cell: **looks at the director** Yes. **voice changes to Mr. Popo's** Something's wrong with my voice imitation device.

18: **rotflamo!**

***

(Trunks passes around senzus to the Z fighters after Gohan went SSJ2. After Krillin and Yamcha recover, they look around.)

Trunks: **calls over his shoulder** Hey, are you guys okay?

Krillin: **looks at Trunks** Yeah, were… **looks at Trunk's back and starts laughing**

Trunks: Huh? **sweatdrop**

Yamcha: Check your back.

Trunks: **does so, and finds a sign on his back that reads "Revenge!"** **smiles** Serves me right, huh Cell!

Cell: **sweatdrop** How did you know it was me?

Trunks: No mistaking that handwriting.

***

(Cell gives his "Doomsday Broadcast.")

Cell: For those of you who don't recognize me, look closely at my face. **in Chichi's voice** I am the monster of Nickey Town… **shocked, then angry** Not again!

Director: I thought you got that problem fixed…

Cell: **in first form voice** So did I. AAK! There it goes! I am the **changes to Krillin's voice** monster of Nickey Town. … **angry and confused** Why is this happening to me?!

***

Cell: **in Kami's voice** I am the monster of Nickey Town… … …

***

Cell: **in 17's voice** I am the monster of Nickey Town. … Oh, now that voice works…

***

Cell: … **trying to keep a straight face** I… **cracks up** **in first form voice** I can't do this! AAAAAAAAA! There it goes again!

***

Cell: **in first form voice, very slowly** I…am…the…mon**voice change**Pikachu! **eyes take up half of head** **grabs throat, normal voice** NO! IT'S CONTROLING MY WORDS TOO! **voice change** Jiii-ga-liii-puff, Ji-ga-liiii! **swirly eyes, about to cry**

(Off stage, Trunks, 17, and Dr. Gero fiddle around with push-button remote controls.)

17: **pats Trunk's shoulder** Good one, Briefs.

Trunks: Well, Gero just taught me how to alter Cell's words. That last one wasn't too hard to think of.

Gero: **smiles** Ah, pranks like these remind me of the good ol days…

17: Hey, Cell's gonna do another take!

Trunks: **taps on his controller** Okay, now I'll give him…King Kai's voice!

Gero: No, wait! Freeza's voice!

17: King Kold!

Trunks: Chao-tzu!

Gero & 17: Yeah! Do that!

Trunks: **taps away** Okay…

(Meanwhile, on the set…)

Director: **unaware of the three troublemakers** And…action!

Cell: **in first form voice** I am the…

Trunks: **click**

Cell: **voice change to Chao-tzu**…monster of Nickey Town… **beyond pissed off** Damn it to hell!

Trunks, 17, & Gero: **rotflmao!** We love these things!

***

(Has Piccolo gotten that line right yet?)

Piccolo: At last we meet, space to space.

(Nope.)

***

Piccolo: At last we meet, lace to lace.

***

Piccolo: At last we meet…eye to eye!

Cell: **annoyed** Okay, repeat after me, slowly. "At last…"

Piccolo: "At last…"

Cell: "We meet…"

Piccolo: "We meet…"

Cell: "Face to face."

Piccolo: "Face to face."

Cell: "At last we meet, face to face."

Piccolo: "At last we meet, face to face."

Cell: You had better not screw it up now, Namek.

Piccolo: **confident** I won't.

***

Piccolo: At last we meet, haste to haste.

Cell: **vein pop** That's it! Somebody get me a gun!

***

Cell: **gets angry at Piccolo** So Kami is the Namek you fused with to get your new powers!

Piccolo: **smiles** That's right. You're not as dumb as you look.

Cell: **in thought** Hey now…Kami was the guardian of the Earth, which means there are no dragonballs to wish back anyone after I've consumed them. **sly smile** Sweet!

Director: "Sweet?"

Cell: **caught** **blushes with a sweatdrop** Whoops. I meant…my, how convenient.

Director: Cut! Do over!

Cell: **hangs head** Bummer! I never get to express my true self.

Piccolo: I know what you sayin, dude.

***

(After 17 flings away Piccolo's Makono Blast, the energy beam explodes, sending a shower of sparks down on the scene.)

Piccolo: **freaked** No…way!

17: **smirk** Do you have more tricks in your lightshow?

(Suddenly, one of the sparks land on 17's bandana, and it catches on fire. 17 notices immediately, and tries to bat out the flame with his hands. The fire quickly spreads to his shirt.)

17: HELP! HELP! I'M ON FIRE! I'M ON FIRE! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!

(Piccolo and 18 fly up to him with buckets of water and splash out the fire.)

17: **smiles sheepishly through drenched locks of hair** Thank guys, but… **turns angry** DID YOU HAVE TO SOAK ME TO THE BONE?!

18: **bites her lip** Whoops.

Piccolo: Sorry. Better go change.

17: **looks off stage** Hey wardrobe!

***

Cell: **in Pu'ar's voice** I am the monster of Nickey Town.

***

Cell: **in Bulma's voice** I am the mon…dammit!

***

Cell: **crosses his arms, and turns his nose in the air stubbornly** I'm not saying it. Something'll go wrong.

Director: Cell, not now.

Cell: I'm not saying it. I refu… **voice change** I'm Sailor Moon! And in the name of the moon, I'll punish you! **freaks, holding his throat** Why is this happening to me?!

(Meanwhile, off stage…)

Trunks: Hey Gero, how long until we control Cell's actions?

17: **sweatdrop, concerned** His actions?

Gero: You're evil, Trunks.

Trunks: **grins** You better believe it.

Cell: **sees the trio of misfits** Hey you! You're the wise guys, aren't you?!

17: Uh oh, he's onto us!

Gero: What do we do?

Trunks: Run, you fools!

(They run, but Cell gives chase and he's right on their heels.)

Cell: You little [CENSERED!]s! You won't get away with this!

Gero: **points remote at Cell** **click**

Cell: **voice change to Oolong** I'll break every bone in your…**eye bulge** **regains control** Ha! I can change it back to normal! I get the last laugh! Ha, ha, ha, ha…

17: You know that I always get the last laugh, bro. **click**

Cell: **wording change** Goku has one tight ass! **covers mouth in shock** **regains control** AAAAAAA! I'll kill you for that!

Trunks: Good thinking, guys. Now let's give him something more fitting. **click**

Cell: **voice and wording change** Psy! Psy! Psyduck! **blink blink** **stops running** Psy? **eye bulge** Psy-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi! **regains control** HOW DARE YOU!

Everyone: **lol**

(Don't worry, we're almost done.)

***

Piccolo: At last we meet…uh, nose to nose.

Cell: **lowers and shakes head** …

***

Piccolo: At last we meet…for the first time! Dammit, I don't know.

***

Piccolo: At last we meet…mouth to mouth.

Cell: Ew!

Piccolo: **sweatdrop** Okay, that didn't come out right…

***

Piccolo: At last we meet…man to man.

Cell: **looks off stage** I'm still waiting for that gun!

Cell's victim: **hands Cell a pistol** Hey, will this do?

Cell: **puts down his victim and takes the gun off safety** Sure. Thanks, Phil.

Piccolo: **sweatdrop** Cell…what do you intend to do with that?

Cell: **sarcastic** I'm gonna blow your head off, Namek. Can't get one sentence…

Piccolo: I'm not the only one who keeps forgetting one frikken sentence, if you know what I mean.

Cell: **chases Piccolo around the set** You're one dead Namek! **tries to fire the gun, but it just clicks** **stops and looks at the barrel** AAAA! THERE'S NO BULLETS IN IT! PHIL!

Phil: **escapes off the set**

Piccolo: **lol!**

(Cell resumes chasing Piccolo around the set.)

***

Masquerade: **on Cell's arena with a microphone** Well, that's all I have for now. I'll try to think of some more as life goes on. I'm also working on outtakes for the Saiyajin Saga and the Freeza Saga, so stay tuned.

Cell: **sighs** Phew. Maybe she'll stop humiliating me in front of my other fans.

Masq: **turns and looks at Cell** Why should I stop making fun of you?

Cell: **glare** Cause you do it too often!

Masq: **kawai face** I know. Sorry, but making fun of you is too easy, honey.

Cell: "Honey?"

Masq: **jumps into Cell's arms** **nuzzles his chin** Oh, c'mon! Lighten up! You know I tease the ones I love.

Cell: **sweatdrop** "Love?!"

Masq: Uh-huh. **kisses his cheek**

Cell: **drops her and flies away** HELP! GET THIS CRAZY WOMAN AWAY FROM ME! 18! SAVE ME!

Masq: "18?" Sick, man, she's your sister!

Cell: So what if she's my sister! She's hot!

Masq: Okay, I'm gonna go chase my new boyfriend to the ends of the Earth. I'll be seeing all you peoples later! **waves, then flies after Cell**

The End