Disclaimer: I do not own SonicTeam. This was completely random, but it'll make an okay ShadAmy story. It basically will combine all the deeply rooted things that Shadow and Amy have in common more than people know, even if neither of them can see it themselves in the story, and are struggling to when it's forced on them.

Full Summary: She wasn't raped. She wasn't beaten. She wasn't purposeless. She doesn't get glares and swears in public from the humans she's saved. Her best friend wasn't gunned down before her very eyes. Her past does not haunt her.

She knows nothing about pain, not like he does. She's just unloved, and yet she's more lifeless than he is.

Depression doesn't have to be deserved through you having been beaten in your childhood, or you losing your only friend in the world. Depression is quite simple. It's worming out of it that's not. So maybe someone who knows about these feelings all too well, can help Amy Rose's. It'll...just take him some time to appreciate and understand it.

 

Prologue~~~~~~~~

 

Please tell me this has happened to you. Please tell me I'm not alone, that I'm not crazy, that I'm normal, that I'll be okay--tell me anything at all, tell me a lie, just...anything at all, but please...please don't tell me...that I'm pathetic.

Tell me that you've also had one of those days when you just sit down and think. Well, have you? Because I did.

It's bad to think. It's bad to think, because once you have enough time and enough silence to think, you start thinking too much, and can't stop. You start thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking about your life and every, every little s-s-second of it. You start to peek into those little cracks, holes and corners of your life that no one else looks at. Yet when you peek into those cracks and holes, there's nothing inside. No bad memory to trace back to this depression that's suddenly hit you, no traumatic past, no excuse to blame it on.

Everyone outside your world believes you're okay and perfectly normal, while you're really just lost. You're smiling enough, and you're bubbly enough to really convince them you're okay. The only reason you fit in is because you're lost.

Just yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the year before that, I had it all figured out.

I have a decent home and loving friends, I'm surrounded by kind citizens and a wonderful job at the bakery, and one day, I'm going to share this happiness with my dream. A dream that's taken the form of someone blue, with a breathless smile and a personality to either love or hate.

These are my half-truths. This is my cartoony world.

I love him, no matter what. I know I do. It's right here in my heart. I love him from how he grins at me to when he's cruel. I love him.

But it wasn't until today I realized, that my life's happiness right now was being held up by that dream. It's the only dream I have to look forward to. It's what I'm...living toward. That sounds extreme, but isn't that the general idea of any dream or goal in life?

"Where do you see yourself in thirty years?" - said the man with the big, greasy, bell-pepper nose on the three o'clock commercial this evening.

Can we make it ten, Mister Commercial Man? Because in ten years, I'll be married to Sonie. That's right, I'll be married to him. That's what I've been bouncing and bragging around about for five years. You hear me? I'll be married to Sonie, with one little girl who looks like me and one little boy who looks like him.

...But then just the other day, I was left with the bitter taste of doubt in my mouth that I've felt many, many times all throughout those five years. Just the other day, I...sat down...and thought too much.

Where will I be in thirty years? I know where I'll be in ten, but in thirty? Will I die happily ever after with Sonie, or will I still be chasing him with dentures in my mouth?

In that same day, something remarkable happened; I saw Sonic. This, is what changed my life forever.

I cried, "Sonic!" like I always did.

He ran right past me in a wind that took my hair with it, like he always does.

I sighed, like I always did.

...And gave myself that daily pep-talk, like I always did.

Nothing unusual, see? No dramatic revelation just yet. Sonic didn't yell at me, he didn't tell me I irritated him, he didn't sneer at me. Nothing unusual happened. It was like any other day.

...And because it was like any other day, on that daily routine, the revelation hit me like a sucker-punch to the jaw. A cheap shot that I'm still rubbing my swollen chin over. Nothing has changed for five years.

That was the day I decided to tell myself the truth. My rainbow world spluttered into a holographic film of black and white. This, is the truth:

I'm about to be kicked out of my apartment in March. My job at the bakery is a strain on my dignity. My friends think I'm annoying, and hardly want to be around me. The citizens talk about me behind my back and in magazines, and call me, "that obsessed Sonic girl."

...And my dream has not come true, because with every step I take to achieve it, it runs away from me.

Feelings of wretchedness, confusion and desperation accumulated into a nasty clot in my brain. My thinking was hairy. I was snapping at people. I had become aggressive and competitive which resulted in being combative. I lost the mind that was full of half-truths and was filled with ideas of others that hand-fed my miseries like a homeless person.

I'm lost. I'm slowly breaking down. I'm losing control. I sit on my couch and cry myself to sleep with two cartons of ice cream.

But no one tells you that part about Amy Rose, huh? They don't write that in the magazines, on the website profiles, on the fan blogs, on the newsletters. She's always happy, she's always smiling, she's always stupid, she's always obsessed, she's always annoying, she's always upset over something that was unrealistic from the start.

Y-You don't know me! I'm more than that girl who chases Sonic and greets you with a high-pitched voice. I just...I just wanted to dream for a little while. I wasn't spat on, slapped, hit, tortured, or traumatized, but the pain I'm feeling is just as painful! Don't compare me to people in harsher situations! My dream's not coming to an end, because it never began in the first place. My dream keeps running away from me, and I...

Look, I...don't know how it happened, or why it happened now. It wasn't supposed to happen. I'm not this weak, really I...God, I-I'm not...I'm not this weak.

But I decided to tell myself the truth, before someone beat me to it. Before any of you beat me to it.

"You've been acting really strange lately, Amy. Me and Cheese have been worried about you. Even Mr. Sonic said something's wrong."

...He doesn't recognize me.

"...Amy?"

He doesn't see me.

"Amy? Are you still there?"

He doesn't hear me.

"Uwaah, A-Amy, why aren't you answering me anymore?"

...He doesn't love me.

"Amy, please answer me! You're scaring me!"

...I whisper into my cellphone as the tears burn my eyes, "...And he never will."