Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Far Over the MSTy Mountains Cold ❯ Gangs That Don't Do Bad Things--The Saga Continues! ( Chapter 2 )

All disclaimers carry over from the last chapter, as we're with Lavenda again.

Cygna quietly stalks over to the window and opens it. Then she opens the door ver-ry slowly and is smashed into the wall by a rampaging, suger-high Spinel Sun. He flies, thankfully, directly down the hall and out the window. With him out of the way, Cygna greets her visitors; Sakura, Syaoran, Eriol, Meiling, Kaho, Tomoyo, Touya, and Yukito. Kero was there briefly, before flying after Spinel.

Cygna: Hello, you lot. Please pay no mind to the screams, I think Suppi-chan is having fun.

Spinel:(from far away) It's not Suppi!

Cygna: Anyway, here's the next chapter of our lesson in book non-judgementalism based on cover design. Onward!

++Disclaimer: 2nd time... Ok, CCS does not belong to me, get that in mind ne. Don't sue OR flame me, kay?

Yukito: I've heard of a first time for everything, but a second?

Meiling: *clicks lighter* Whatever made you think we might flame you? How needlessly paranoid of you… *evil laugh*

++Summary: GaNgS. DeViL BoLsSoMs. SiLvEr WoLvEs. RiVaLs.

Sakura: It doesn't look any better the second time…

++Hi GuYs! It'S mE aGaiN.

Tomoyo: Well, it isn't me. This is my alternate personality, Madison Taylor. Like, isn't this so cool?

Eriol:<Madison> Whatever.

++WeLL iT sEeMs tHaT tHiS sToRy iS nOt aS aTTrAcTiNg As I tHiNk iT iS, eH?

Syaoran: Depends, how attracting do you think it is? On a scale from one to ten?

Touya: I'd place it at about negative fifty-eight, Run Away With Your Eyes Bleeding.

Kaho: That high? You're so sweet.

Touya: …

++ Oh WeLL, nEvEr MiNd I gUeSs, TiLL nOw ThErE's OnLy ThReE rEviEwS Eh?

Yukito: <Reviewer> Please, Lavenda, let me go! The weird capitalization has held me captive for too long!

Sakura: <Lavenda> Never! I will keep you imprisoned to fuel my ego! Mwahahahaaaa!

Eriol: Good laugh, Sakura-san. The lessons really paid off.

Sakura: Why, thank you.

++AnYwAyZ, tHaNkS KeLLy aNd mY cOoL fRiEnD cHeRrYsAkUrA5 aNd LiLvIeTdEvIlGrL tOo fOr piCkiNg ouT sOmE tiMe To ReViEw My sToRy!!!

Syaoran: We have to discourage these people.

Yukito: Well, she did give us the names. Why do that if we can't use them?

Tomoyo: I can have addresses and transport in half an hour. Let's get ready!

Cygna: I think there are some sharp pointy objects around here somewhere…

Sakura: Transfer your powers to my staff! SWORD!

++YoU gUyS DiD a GrEaT jOb enCoUrAgiNg Me!!! AriGaTo!!!

Sakura: You are very, very unwelcome.

++nEvEr jUdGe A bOoK bY iTs CoVeR

++ChApPiE 2: DeViL BoLsSoMs

Sakura: Hoe?

Cygna: My psychic powers tell me our friend the Spell-check has not been this way. Am I not amazing?

Kaho: Hey, that's my line!

Cygna: Hah.

++~Normal Pov~

++As usual, Sakura bladed to the usual spot she would meet her gang, wearing a black tank top and a black mini skirt at the bottom,

Syaoran: At the bottom, as opposed to…?

Tomoyo: Does she often wear her skirt on her head, so we need clarification?

Sakura: Is it a Sunday? Is that why I'm not in my uniform?

Yukito: <Clerk>Welcome to the Department of Redundancy Department! How may we we help you?

Touya: <Lavenda>Can you help me make my sentence even more redundant?

Yukito: <Clerk> Why, certainly! Just add 'usually' between 'would' and 'meet', and perhaps an 'as she usually did' after 'bladed'.

Touya: <Lavenda> Why, thank you! I should have thought of that, but what with not having a kindergartner's grasp of English, I didn't.

++her matured and beautiful features are being revealed due to the tightness and the loose edges of the clothing she wore.

Eriol: The verbs are tense.

Meiling: Tightness and loose edges? What are you wearing, Kinomoto?

Sakura: Apparently, one of those tight skirts that flare out at the bottom.

Tomoyo: Oh, that gives me a wonderful idea for a costume!

All: *sweatdrop*

Touya: Matured and beautiful? Are we talking about the same monster here?

Sakura: Oniichan! I'm not a monster!

Touya: So you say.

++By first glance, she might be a fragile young lady. But no. Never judge a book by its cover.

Kaho: Because we must mention the title at least once per chapter.

Syaoran:<Kero>Expect the unexpected, Sakura.

Sakura: Don't do that! It's too scary!

Cygna: *thoughtful* Actually, that's not a description of a fragile young lady. That's the description of...well, someone who's about to fall over from trying to rollerblade in a miniskirt, for starters.

++She wore no makeup except for a slight lip goss and light green eye shadow and not to miss out, she had got a tattoo of a black with a tint of glittering pink Cherry Blossom on the left side of her waist.

Cygna: Lip Goss? A lipstick-sized version of the person who does the SmallPark things?

Meiling: Not to miss out on what? On self-mutilation? I'll miss out anytime, thanks.

Yukito: Somehow I don't believe even Fujitaka-san would let her get a tattoo.

Sakura:<Sakura>The Illusion has so many uses.

Tomoyo: Did cherry blossom become a proper noun when it's not being used as a name? Or did she get the words tattooed?

Meiling:<Sakura> I got my name tattooed on my waist! Aren't I special?

++"Hey guys! You guys sure arrived early." Sakura teased the girls standing in front of her.

Touya: Are they guys or girls?

Yukito: It's a Ranma crossover! It all makes sense now!

Kaho: Sense? What is this sense of which you speak?

Cygna: Hey, that's my line!

Kaho: Payback is sweet.

++"Cherry, you should have known that. We're always earlier than you. Right? Rose? Girls?" said in a very sweet voice.

Kaho: I sense bad flower-derived nicknames. My psychic powers are so wonderful, don't you think? *end sarcasm*

Eriol: Who said in a very sweet voice?

Tomoyo: I think Space-san has been working his way into fics and stealing dialogue again. We should probably do something about that.

++A girl, Sakura's age, with of course amethyst coloured eyes and purple coloured raven hair.

Tomoyo: I have a bad feeling about this...

Syaoran: Those are some weird ravens. Has anyone here ever seen a purple raven?

Touya: The kind that say, 'Nevermore'?

Cygna: I never saw a purple raven, I never hope to see one. But I can tell you any...drat. What rhymes with 'raven'?

Touya: Haven?

Yukito: Graven?

Cygna: Right. I never saw a purple raven, I never hope to see one. But I can tell you from my haven, I'd rather see than be one.

Tomoyo: It lacks something.

Syaoran: So does the description. I mean, amethyst eyes? Purple raven hair?

Sakura: I'm getting a bad mental image of someone with rocks for eyes and birds on their head.

Tomoyo: Me too. Eek.

++ She wore only a blue tank top and blue tight pants.

Tomoyo: <Purple Raven Girl> Woe, I am wearing no shoes! Nor, for that matter, underwear! Shush, Eriol-san.

Eriol: I didn't say anything!

Tomoyo: You were going to.

Eriol:...Maybe.

++Examine her body features, boys would sure drool upon her beauty.

Meiling: <Purple Raven Girl> Ack! Those boys drooled all over my beauty again! I need a towel!

++Not to forget she is also a member of the gang, she had got a tattoo of a purple with a tint of black Palm Blossom on her right waist.

Syaoran: This isn't my first language, but I still fail to see how someone has a right and left waist. Doesn't it go all the way around?

Kaho: Yes, as a general thing. But these are badfic characters. Their physiology is not human.

Cygna: What is a purple, and how does one get a tattoo of it?

Touya: Palms don't blossom, do they?

Cygna: *does research* Actually, they do. But not around here, and definitely not in black.

Yukito: Maybe it's rotting.

Touya: Well, *something* around here sure is, and I don't mean the leftovers in the fridge.

++It's Lavender, her real name is Tomoyo Daidoji, Sakura's cousin.

Kaho: Well, ten points off for 'Lavender' having nothing to do with the tattoo. and another fifty for that description--Tomoyo-san wears skirts, not tank tops and tight pants--and yet another twenty for that line with Sakura-mocking, but five points back for remembering that Tomoyo and Sakura are cousins, gives you...a 25%. I've graded worse.

Cygna: Remember the bit about leaving the vacationing in peace? Yeah. It stands.

Kaho: Habit strikes again, sorry.

Tomoyo: I feel defiled.

Sakura: There, there. So do I. *hugs Tomoyo*

*Tomoyo hugs back*

++"Take it as a compliment then, little Palm Blossom?" Sakura spoke sarcastically.

Sakura: Hoeeeeee????

Touya: Sakura does not speak sarcastically. Never. Not even to me, and certainly not to a good friend.

Cygna: Aaaaand we will now ignore the name 'Lavender' for the rest of the fic. Joy.

Tomoyo:<Palm Blossom> No, I do not consider it a compliment that you're always late. What are we, not good enough for you to be punctual?

Touya: Tomoyo, *nothing* is good enough for the monster to be punctual.

Sakura: Oniichan!

++"Hey, Cherry? Why did you asked us out so urgently? Huh? Is it the Wolves had taken action?" A very anxious girl named Erica asked the leader.

Yukito: I won't touch these verb tenses with a thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole.

Eriol: I feel nauseated.

Syaoran: <Erica> I don't know simple Japanese past tense! I'm so speshul!

++She is only a normal member of the gang, thus her tattoo is just a picture of a blossom plant in pink on her right arm.

Kaho: I have never in my life seen such a thing as a 'blossom plant', or else I have seen thousands. Care to be more specific?

Cygna: Maybe it's a bolssom plant, like in the title.

Touya: Nah, that'd make too much sense.

Cygna: Point.

++"Come on, relax. It's just a normal meeting." Someone said, by the tone of the voice, coolly.

Meiling: How else does one indicate the way one says things than with one's tone of voice?

Tomoyo: <Someone> Well, the tone of my voice was cool, but the tone of my actual expression was sadistically happy, because I was contemplating how many pieces I was going to chop Erica into.

Kaho: Tomoyo-san...do you feel all right?

Cygna: For someone who's been described as having stone eyes and bird hair, she's perfectly normal.

++It's Rose. She had her hair tied up in two ponytails wearing a red tank top and a pair of jeans.

Meiling: I don't like where this is going. No, I don't like it, not at all. And they're not ponytails!

Syaoran: Yeah, they're odango...odango-atama!

Meiling prepares to clobber Syaoran, but before she does so a blond girl in a school uniform appears out of nowhere, hits Syaoran with a wand, and vanishes.

Sakura:...Is this a crossover?

Cygna: No, we simply forced a temporospatial transit. You see, that phrase required a specific response from a specific character, and so the Laws of Narrativium catapulted said character into this story, and then out again once the reaction had been produced.

Eriol: How do you know that?

Cygna: I made it up.

Eriol: Ohhhhh...

++Her real name is Meilin Li, is Sakura's distant cousin. (I made Meilin Sakura's cousin in this fanfic!!!)

Meiling: Nooooooooo, please! Anything but this!

Cygna: Anything?

Meiling: I take it back. Most things but this.

Yukito: Should we give her points for knowing they're not really cousins?

Touya: No. Definitely not. Sounds too much like a bad dub.

Yukito: Yes, they're 'cousins'. *giggles*

Sakura: Hoe?

Touya: Never mind. Simply know that someone, somewhere has just picked up a Sakura/Meiling plotbunny.

Meiling and Sakura: Eurgh.

Touya: Very.

++She had a tattoo of a red rose on her right side of her waist.

Syaoran: Oh no you don't! Your parents would have seven different kinds of fit!

Meiling: <Meilin> But I'm no longer have the same family! I have no parents!

Tomoyo: Pardon me asking, but why a rose?

Kaho: Probably because it's red, and in this girl's mind red=Meiling.

Meiling: I hate analogies like that, I really do. Wear one lousy outfit, and you're stuck with an image for life.

++"Yeah, it's just a normal meeting regarding the talent time that's all. You guys should have known that the Wolves are also in a band right?

Tomoyo: Oh no, no, nooo...Not one of *those* stories! I hate them, I really do.

Eriol: But you like music, Tomoyo-san.

Tomoyo: Yes, and that's why I can't stand the...I'll be polite and call it 'drivel'...we always end up singing.

++They are probably trying other songs now. Our band has to buck up too, you guys know? Though we are in gangs, we don't do bad things, know that?"

Kaho: Gangs...in bands...that don't do bad things...that's it, I'm going to lie down. *leaves*

Cygna: Wish I could too, really I do. What else are gangs for, if not doing 'bad' things?

Touya: Being in bands, apparently. Gag me.

Sakura: *does so*

Touya: Mmf Mst Mm Mfftafffr!

Yukito: *takes out gag* Sorry, To-ya, what was that?

Touya: I said, it's just a metaphor!

Sakura: Err, sorry. This fic is getting to me. I can't tell good language from bad anymore.

Touya: Forgiven.

++Sakura said, although that's a joking sentence, her face remained emotionless. (This is the side of Sakura when she is with her gang. Serious)

Tomoyo: So, how is it that I do not recall ever seeing this side of Sakura before?

Sakura: <Sakura> Oh, come on! 'Serious' is my middle name. That's why I laugh and jump around so much!

Cygna: To paraphrase Rincewind; 'Yeah, but your first name is Not.'

++"Yeah." They said in usion.

Meiling:<Tour Guide> Welcome to Usion, where all the gangs who are also bands meet and say, 'Yeah.' On your left you will see...

Yukito: Is there a snack bar in Usion?

Cygna: Does this always happen with you?

Yukito: Almost always.

++"Dismissed. Lavender, Rose, I have something to discuss with you guys." Sakura said. Everyone is dismissed.

Syaoran: I feel redundant. Hey, why does Tomoyo seem to have two gang aliases?

Tomoyo:<Lavenda> Do not ask such questions!

Syaoran: Why?

Tomoyo:<Lavenda> Because I cannot answer them, fool!

Syaoran: Who's the fool around here?

Touya: You are, gaki.

Syaoran: *glares*

Touya:*glares back*

Cygna: It's nice to see an in-character moment.

++How??? Is this story getting in track??? I think it's off track.. Lolz!!!

Eriol: Gee, do you think? Maybe it might be a bit off-track to have the gang be a band? Or to have changed everyone's outfits and personalities until they are unrecognizable? Does that sound a bit off track to you?

Meiling: Since she's so obsessed with being 'in track', maybe we should tie her *to* the tracks.

Sakura: Those in favor?

Tomoyo: Those opposed?

Cygna: So that's...5 to three for. Motion carries! But let's wait a moment. There may be more…creative…methods we can use.

++Anywayz.. R+R nie? Cya. Ya!!! S+S are SPIES here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cygna: Okay, *now* we can tie her to the tracks.

Syaoran: Spies? When did this happen?

Sakura: About the same time as the gang, and the band, and the tattoos.

Yukito:<Hot Dog Seller> Getcha exclamation points heah! Get 'em while they last! Tuppence apiece, and it's cuttin' me own throat!

Cygna: Yukito-san, your Dibbler impression is way too good for my liking.

Yukito: Thank you.

Cygna: So, last thoughts on 'chappie' two?

Sakura: Who is this person with my name, and who gave her the ability to rollerblade in a miniskirt?

Tomoyo: Where is my character, and what is a Palm Blossom?

Meiling: I believe this calls for a resounding 'WTF?!!' all around.

Syaoran: Wait...so you're Sakura's cousin, as well as my cousin...so Sakura and I are cousins?

Eriol: Actually, you are, if reincarnations count as siblings or something.

Syaoran: I don't want to date someone I'm related to!

Meiling: Funny, no one else had that problem when we got engaged.

Cygna: Relax. You're no more closely related than Aragorn and Arwen, and they turned out fine. So, story thoughts?

Eriol: I have a very bad feeling about my character.

Touya: That tripe was a thing of horror and a pain forever. I hope I never appear.

Yukito: So do I. And this story ruined my appetite!

Cygna: Alert the media! Tsukishiro Yukito declares self, 'not hungry'!

Touya: Hah. Hah. Please tell us that was the end of the story.

Cygna: It was the end of the story.

Tomoyo: Now tell us truthfully, please.

Cygna: I can't do that.

Meiling: There's *more* of this?

Cygna: 'Fraid so.

Syaoran: Well, bring it on. But first, break for medical treatment.

Cygna: Okay, see you all at the psych ward!