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Master of the fist.
Champion of the dark technique, the Shun Goku Satsu.
Vagabond martial artist who seeks the one who will finally defeat him in hand-to-hand combat.
He bows to no man or beast.
He respects strength in all its forms, and despises those too weak to realize their potential.
Akuma, whose quiet composure and piercing gaze would make the mightiest of god's creatures tremble in primal fear, faced his most daunting opponent of all:
One might wonder what could push dark master Akuma's will to such lengths of annoyance and irritation. It was a force that Akuma has encountered before and could never defeat or even forget.
One might wonder why Akuma did not simply crush this opponent like all others. Surely, the master of the fist could merely destroy that which does not sit favorably in his mind! Yet, he would not.
One might wonder who would dare stand before Akuma as an equal, and treat the murderous warrior in the same manner a schoolboy would treat his best friends.
"Look, Akumie!" Davis Motomiya exclaimed happily. "Now I'M Akumie!"
Akuma eyed his new "roommate." The boy wore one of Akuma's spare black outfits, complete with rope and sandals. Davis even tied some of his spiky hair up further, the same way Akuma did. His goggles remained in place on his forehead.
"Look, Akumie! I can do the Raging Demon!" Davis chimed as he walked up to Akuma and lightly punched him in the abdomen repeatedly. Davis made "machine gun" noises with his lips as he did this.
"Hey, check this out!" Davis said, backing away and turning around. Akuma saw what he should've expected; a symbol of TEN (the Japanese character) made of red construction paper and taped to Davis's back.
"Pretty cool, huh?"
Akuma closed his eyes and clenched his fist. "Davis, I didn't do anything when you came to live here after we left Eggman on Ice. I didn't do anything when you purchased that enormous noise machine you call a stereo. I didn't do anything when you had your twerp digi-friends over high diving from the higher caves to the pools below while I was bathing in them. BUT I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOU DRESSING LIKE ME!"
"Aw, but," Davis began, his eyes all child-like, "but, but you're so cool Akumie!"
"Er," Akuma stammered, blushing, unable to speak. What could he say? He WAS cool, after all.
"I'm just joshin' you, Akumie!" Davis said, laughing. "Heh, you aren't THAT cool! C'mon, now, let's not be foolish!"
Akuma gathered power in his hands, preparing for an attack. "MESSATSU--"
CMA, one-third of the astoundingly amazing Triple Peeps, presents...
Origin: Digimon 02
Full Name: Davis Motomiya (Motomiya Daisuke, for you whiny sub-whores)
Hair: Brown and spiky
* Blue and red "flaming" coat with a white cotton-y looking collar (no idea what it's called)
* White shirt underneath the coat
* Brown cargo shorts
* Orange and white shoes
* Yellow gloves
* A pair of goggles that rest on his forehead
* Duckies (ducks)
* Bunnies (girls)
* Hitting on girls
* Girls who wear provocative outfits
* His snazzy goggles that he got from Tai
* Noodles (any kind)
* Life itself
* "Icky" food
Origin: Street Fighter
Full Name: Unknown
Eyes: "Demon" Red
Hair: "Lovely" Red, spiked up, and tied in one place for some reason
Ethnicity: Unknown, but assumed to be Japanese
* Black gi with the sleeves ripped off
* A thick rope in place of (and tied up like) the usual martial arts belt
* Sandals (even Akuma needs comfort)
* Sandals (comfort)
* True strength, whether it is of the body, mind, or spirit
* Davis Motomiya (or so he says...)
* "Icky" food
---=== THE DAVIS-AKUMA CHRONICLES ===---
Akuma, Street Fighter, Edge, Akira, Rival Schools and all other distinctive likenesses belong to Capcom.
Davis, Digimon, and all other distinctive likenesses belong to whoever the hell made Digimon.
Eggman, Sonic the Hedgehog, and all other distinctive likenesses belong to Sega.
Anyone I'm forgetting to mention belongs to his/her/its respective owner(s).
This story is Copyright 2004 Carlos Alexandre and is MY intellectual property. The same goes for any original characters that are not the distinctive likenesses of anyone else.
This story is rated R for Mature Subject Matter, amongst other things.
This story takes place some time after the Triple Peeps' saga, "Eggman on Ice."
I accept all criticism, flames, praise, etc.
RECOMMENDATION - This story will make far more sense of you read "Eggman on Ice" (site below) first. Reading the Cronies and Eggman Adventures series helps, too.
www.triplepeeps.com - Find this fic and more!
Quick Character Reference for this Volume
in alphabetical order
* The gentle but courageous biker-girl from Rival Schools.
* The guy with the Raging Demon move in Street Fighter.
* Called Gouki in Japan.
* The tall coat-wearing Gedo gang boss (with a heart of gold) from Rival Schools.
* Edge calls him "the boss."
* The main character of the second season of the Digimon TV series.
* In this fic, he's based on his somewhat giddy English dub personality, including name.
* He and the other digi-kids are older in my fic, as well.
* The knife-wielding Gedo punk from Rival Schools.
* The fat mustached scientist from Sonic the Hedgehog.
* Davis's older sister who has an Amy-Rose-style crush on Matt.
* Shorthaired girl from the Digimon TV series.
* Tai's younger sister.
* Dark-haired boy (former Digimon Emperor) from the Digimon TV series.
* Not to be mistaken with Ken Masters from Street Fighter.
* Blond dude from the Digimon TV series.
* TK's older brother.
* From one of the Fire Emblem games and Super Smash Bros. Melee.
* Not to be confused from Rival School's Roy; Edge is talking about Fire Emblem Roy.
* Sakura's rival-turned-boyfriend from Card Captor Sakura.
* Wacky-haired fellow from the Digimon TV series.
* He was the main character in the first season, and somewhat important in the second.
* Blond hat-wearing kid from the Digimon TV series.
* Davis always gets his name wrong, usually on purpose to annoy him.
* Purple-haired girl from the Digimon TV series.
* Akira's fellow Seijyun Girls' School student from Rival Schools.
THE DAVIS-AKUMA CHRONICLES
Master Fighter Akuma
Need to buy more food...
The sun warmed all it touched that fine Sunday afternoon, yet it was not at all too warm. A refreshing breeze cooled comfortably as it playfully rustled hair and clothing.
To Akuma, vagabond martial artist on a quest for... more groceries, the day was soothing, if not just a little uncomfortable for one such as he who wished to remain unnoticed.
To Davis, hyper-energetic teenage boy on his summer vacation, the day was to be blessed, for its mischievous winds stirred up the shorter skirts of girl after girl after girl.
"Lord, thank you for blessed, blessed panties," he mumbled to no one in particular.
Akuma shook his head, but was grateful that at least the boy was back in his own clothing. "Here's the plan, Davis," he began. "You are going to get soda and milk, as well as some good dryer sheets. Those no name ones you bought last time static-clung my pants to my crotch so tight, my voice sounded as feminine as yours."
"Roger, skipper!" Davis said, saluting, missing the insult thrown his way. Akuma handed the boy a list, which Davis snapped up and bolted away with, nearly bowling over several people.
"And I guess I pick up the vegetables and fruits," Akuma said to himself.
Beautiful curves in just the right places. Legs that went on forever. Breasts bouncing ever so slightly. Cute little bellybuttons on canvases of flesh-colored abdomens. The occasional glimpse of a lacy undergarment.
Was there anything about hot girls in short skirts that wasn't sexy?
Davis could not fathom anything more alluring as he leaned on the fence, mentally undressing every cute chick that crossed his field of vision. From every young teen to all manner of voluptuous older woman, none escaped this hormone-laden boy's penetrating stare.
"Hey, kid!" It was a familiar sounding boy, and he didn't seem too pleased.
Davis looked for the voice's origin. He found it. Blond hair spiked WAY up, purple pants, purple coat, purple headband, hands in purple pockets, and a rather evil looking but most definitely not purple smile; no mistaking it.
"Hey, you're that Edge guy!" Davis said happily. "How ya doin'? Does that cute Akira girl like you yet?"
"Oh, um," Edge stuttered, blushing madly. "Well, not yet. I'm not sure if she still likes Roy, but he and I are friends now, and I even helped him clean his Sealed Sword--HEY, CUT IT OUT! I'm here to cut you up, you little twerp! Get ready!"
Davis wondered why this nice boy he met at Eggman on Ice suddenly wanted to fight, but he felt that perhaps the question should wait until everything calmed down a bit.
Edge, knife in hand, crouched down and charged forward, taking swipes. Davis dodged each one successfully, backing away with each miss. It seemed as if Edge was faster and far wilier than before.
"Yeah, that's right!" Edge taunted, chuckling a bit. "I've been training with the boss and even some of those Gorin fags! Daigo was right; when you vary your training methods, you learn things about yourself that you didn't know! And now I know that this time I'll win!"
"Now c'mon, Edge!" Davis said soothingly, still dodging swipes. "Do we have to fight? We can be friends! Check this: there's got to be something we can do to make that Akira girl like you! I'll help you out! I'm great with women!"
"Really?" Edge said, shocked, halting his attack. "You'd help me, even after I tried to cut you?"
"Sure!" Davis replied, smiling warmly. "What are friends for?"
Edge's eyes suddenly turned big and watery. "Wow," he said, his tone full of admiration. "You're, like, a saint!"
What Edge did NOT know was a few of Davis's past experiences with girls...
Side Story 1-1
A Look at the Romantic Side of Davis Motomiya
CMA: Welcome. I am CMA, your author for the evening. And this is my assistant, a fugitive Keebler Elf!
Keebler Elf: I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU! YOU DON'T KNOW ME!
CMA: Ha ha, thanks Keebs! I am here to present to you a most delicious glimpse of Davis Motomiya's more romantic side. Keebs, roll that beautiful bean footage!
Keebler Elf: MY BROTHERS ARE CONTENT BEING SLAVES TO THE COOKIE BUREAUCRACY! THEY MUST BE MURDERED TO BE SPARED! I AM THE END OF TIME!
CMA: Ha ha, always a riot, Keebs. Firstly, let's go back to that fateful moment where Davis and Akuma first met, well before the events in Eggman on Ice transpired.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" the boy squealed happily. "I know you! You're Akuma! Wow, I'm a big fan!"
Akuma cocked an eyebrow. "... I have fans?"
"Hey, man, I'd love to hang out with you sometime," the very outgoing boy said. "Hey, want to help me pick up girls?"
"... I'd rather not be seen as a creepy old man helping some kid have sex with other kids, thanks. Go away, kid."
"Oh, c'mon Akumie!"
"Hey, kid, I said... 'AKUMIE'?"
The boy smiled happily. "Yeah, it's a great name!"
As the two continued talking, with the boy, who introduced himself as Davis, getting more into the conversation, and Akuma become increasingly more infuriated, Davis eyed a sight more beautiful than any otherworldly paradise: junior high school cheerleaders.
"Well, later Akumie!" Davis said, hearts in place of eyes, and a little bit of drool escaping his lips. "I hope you find who you're looking for!" With that, Davis ran off in the direction of exposed skin.
"I feel for that little ape's parents," Akuma muttered to himself. He continued waiting outside the school's main doors. He promised his good friend and rival that he would meet her son for tea.
"Waiting long?" a voice suddenly asked. It was the young master of Chinese magic himself, Shaoron.
"Not at all," Akuma answered. "You're done?"
"Indeed. You know, you needn't come only for the sake of my mother. I imagine that you probably have more important things to do."
"Nonsense," the dark master scoffed. "I live to train, to fight, to die. And... to do odd jobs for money."
"I see. So how much did mother pay you?"
Akuma narrowed his eyes. "More than enough to cover your tea--"
A girl's chilling, ear-piercing scream abruptly cut Akuma off.
The next thing Akuma saw was a sprinting Davis, grinning ear-to-ear, with a pair of panties wrapped firmly around his head.
"See you later, Shao-Li and Akumie!" he hollered as he ran by.
"Oh, no," Shaoron moaned, "not Davis again!"
The master of the fist turned to see the panty-hat-wearing boy dodge several faculty members, school constables, and angry students. When Akuma turned back, he found what had to be at least one quarter of the school population staring at him angrily.
"Is that pervert a friend of yours?" one blushing, angry girl accused.
"No!" Akuma said defensively. "He's just some idiot kid who started talking to me! I'm just here to meet Shaoron--"
Ah, yes, a rare mistake from the dark master of the Hadou.
Somewhere around this time, the accusations and threats started pouring in.
"OH! SO ALL KIDS ARE IDIOTS?"
"Shaoron, is this sick old man your lover?"
"Someone lend me some panties!"
"Did you know that most panties are made of 90% recycled materials?"
"Someone get Falcon-sensei to beat these two up."
"Tomoyo, did you get that on tape?"
"My panties are prettier than yours!"
"WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE UPSET HERE!"
"Mister, is your head on fire or is that just your hair?"
"This guy wears a rope! He must be a perv!"
"You fools! Amidst the confusion, I will now rise to conquer the planet!"
"Get out of here, Eggman! This is serious!"
"Somebody call my mama! I'm about to stick my foot up this cracker's anus and possibly reach his rectum!"
"Crackers are tasty!"
CMA: Truly frightening footage. One more, before returning to the story at hand and foot. This one finds Davis in a position to "get some." However, he seems to never quite read his friend's intentions properly...
Yolei's house. Yolei's bedroom, to be precise.
IN THIS SCENE
Yolei, confused for some time about whom she truly loves, has decided that Davis is the boy she wants to be with for the rest of her life. Being the hopeless romantic type, but also slightly horny, she wants to show Davis how she feels in a very physical sense. However, things don't go the way they're supposed to...
[Davis and Yolei are sitting on a loveseat, watching TV together.]
Davis [eating popcorn like no tomorrow]: Man, I love this part!
Yolei [blushing, uncertain]: I... Davis... I love you...
Davis: Why thanks Yolei! Check out this car scene it's SOOOOOOO awesome!
Yolei [taken aback]: Um, no, Davis, you don't understand. I mean that I love you. I... oh, god, Davis, I want you! Badly!
Davis [cheering at an explosion on-screen]: YES! AWESOME!
Yolei [jumps on Davis, her weight on his, their lips less than an inch apart]: Take me, Davis! Take me now! Make me SCREAM!
Davis [seemingly genuinely confused]: Oh, okay. Once, just after we saved the Digi-World from Myotismon, TK needed spending money, so he secretly took pictures of you naked when you were in the shower and sold them on the internet. It was more popular than Pam Anderson and Paris Hilton put together.
Yolei [screaming]: WHAT!? THAT BASTARD!
Davis [getting up]: Actually I'm just joking. But you asked me to make you scream! What are friends for, eh? I'll see you tomorrow, Yolei!
Yolei [dumbfounded, but after a few moments, picks up the phone and dials]: Hello, Ken? This is Yolei. Want to come to my house? Yeah, I know it's late...
CMA: Astounding. What say you, Keebs?
Keebler Elf: HE HAD HER! HE HAD HER RIGHT WHERE HE WANTED HER! HE WAS IN THE PERFECT POSITION... TO KILL HER! IT'S MADNESS! MAKES ME WANT TO KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!
CMA: Ha ha, too funny Keebs. This has been Side Story 1-1!
He had to admit, life in the cave seemed drab and miserable compared to the bliss of a nice summer day. The wind soothed and the sun bathed everything before it in light.
But Akuma had a task to do. He was on a quest... to find perfect oranges.
He felt and squeezed each one carefully. The hands of this dark master could pierce a wall of steel, but the proof of his mastery lay in the fact that he could gently hold and feel a piece of fruit without crushing it. So acute was his sense of touch that he could feel the fruit's internal juices shifting as he felt it.
Ah, a perfect one. Akuma bagged it and felt for another. Ah, again! Two perfect oranges in a row! Such luck was to be appreciated.
"Hey, Ken! C'mon!"
His eyes narrowed and his senses focused on the sound of the woman's voice he just heard. The name, Ken. Ken Masters, one of his late brother's former students. Perhaps the man had come to Japan to find the other student, Ryu.
If so, that would mean that Ken had become stronger!
Though Akuma doubted the formidable yet arrogant American would be any match, the possibility that Ken Masters could be the one would not be ignored.
"C'mon, Ken! Hurry up!" It was the woman again.
"Alright, Yolei! Hang on!" ... Was this the one?
Akuma caught site of the pair. A young woman with long purple hair, and a well-dressed young man with shoulder-length black hair. Akuma vaguely recognized the pair as friends of Davis.
The two walked up to the fruit stand and started feeling the oranges as well.
"I still can't believe he was that dense," the boy, Ken, said. "You sure you aren't pulling my chain?"
"Nope!" the girl, Yolei, exclaimed in return. "I was hitting on him so badly, and he didn't realize anything was out of the ordinary."
"Well, that's Davis for you. ... Hey, that wasn't the night you called me, was it!?"
"What? Oh, no, not at all. That was almost a year before I realized that I love you, Ken Ichijouji!" She pecked the boy's cheek.
The girl was feigning ignorance. Akuma could tell by her sudden increased breathing when the boy asked her the question.
But that didn't really matter. One last perfect orange would do--there it was! Akuma smirked, just a bit. He bagged the fruit, paid the vendor, and went about his way.
For Akuma was on a new quest... for perfect tomatoes.
June Motomiya was not having a particularly good day.
Her latest attempt to seduce Matt, the most perfectly handsome boy she had ever known, ended rather tragically. She couldn't figure out, for the life of her, what she was doing wrong. She was hot and easy, dammit! What self-respecting male going through puberty wouldn't want to just eat her up?
Slipping out of her now torn up casino bunny outfit, and tossing its novelty bunny ears in the trash, she slipped her admittedly shapely nude body into a nice warm bath.
Perhaps trying to convince Matt that she was hired to be his new "bunny butler sex slave" was not the most tactful approach. June would have to re-work her plans.
Closing her eyes, she let out a deep sigh. She didn't really want to do anything other than enjoy the water--
The telephone rang. The blasted, blasted telephone. Ringing and ringing.
June shut it out. Whoever it was would have to leave a message. She shifted her weight into a more comfortable position, letting the water soothe her aching muscles.
After the fourth ring, the answering machine picked up.
"Motomiya residence! We're either away or busy, so leave a message!"
"SISTER-BABE!!? JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNE!!! PICK UP THE PHONE JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNE!!! JUNE-JUNE!!! JUNE-BABE!!? JUNE? JUNE? JUNE? PICK UP PICK UP PICK UP!"
She clenched her fists angrily at the sound of her little brother's most irritating whining. Wasn't the little punk living on some godforsaken abandoned island now?
"It's okay, June," she thought aloud. "Just ignore the little testicle and he'll give up."
"HEY, JUNE, REMEMBER THE TIME YOU CAME ON TO ME BECAUSE YOU SUPPOSEDLY THOUGHT I WAS MATT? REMEMBER THE PICTURE I HAVE OF YOU CUPPING MY NOT-SO-NICE AREA? AND THE TAPE WITH YOU ADMITTING TO KNOWING WHO I WAS AT THE TIME, BUT BEING SO DESPERATE YOU DIDN'T CARE WHETHER YOU FUCKED YOUR LITTLE BROTHER OR NOT? I'LL SHOW ALL THAT TO MOM IF YOU DON'T PICK UP IN FIVE..."
That little shit.
June scrambled out of the tub and promptly slipped on the floor.
She grabbed the towel rack for support, but it was loose and in need of repair for some time. She tore it completely out of the wall.
Still naked, June ran out to the hall, shivering, and answered the phone.
Edge heard yelling from the handset.
"Hi, sister-babe!" Davis spoke into the payphone. "How's it hanging?"
Edge heard yelling from the handset.
"I told you, it made me feel uncomfortable!" Davis said in a mock-hurt tone. "No, I don't care that you let me feel your breasts several times afterwards. That's the payment you demanded for helping me with my homework; you turned down cash. No, I don't care that you said you'd help me practice for my 'first time'. That's just going too far; I'd rather practice with the girl I eventually do it with."
Edge cocked an eyebrow as he heard more yelling from the handset.
"No, it's NOT my fault that TK's mother thinks you're a sexual predator! You French-kissed him at his birthday party and started feeling up his shirt, and then when she tried to stop you, you French-kissed HER and started feeling up HER shirt; that's one-hundred percent June Motomiya-brand stupidity! No, her ex-husband taking pictures of it doesn't make it right! See, this is why mom and dad insisted you attend Seijyun Girls' School!"
Edge was suddenly slightly more frightened. He heard yet more yelling.
"Okay, listen sister-babe, shut up for a second. I won't show mom the evidence, and I'll even tell you where it is, if you agree to help me and a friend concoct a crazy scheme to get into the Seijyun dorms and help my friend win a certain someone's heart. If you can't? Well, then, you'll have to show my friend a good time. He's pretty handsome, in a gang-thug kind of way."
Edge narrowed his eyes. Davis gave wide smile and a thumbs up.
"Why, yes, he is from Gedo! ... uh-huh ... uh-huh ... You'll do it? Awesome! ... Hey, good guess, it is Akira! ... uh-huh ... uh-huh ... Sounds like a plan--NO, we can't make out later! Sicko. Seijyun courtyard in twenty minutes! Don't be late!"
Davis hung up. "We're good to go, amigo!"
"Awesome!" Edge replied enthusiastically. "But you still haven't explained exactly what the plan is."
"Oh, that's easy," Davis explained. "We're going to dress you up as a girl, have you talk to Akir--"
"Yeah, that's right: we're going to dress you up as a girl, have you talk to Akira, and ask questions about that 'cute boy from Gedo' Eiji Yamada. You'll pretend to have a crush on yourself! Then, Akira will realize that if she doesn't snap you up soon, you'll be taken from her forever!"
Edge cupped his chin in thought. "Interesting. And if we can't get into Seijyun?"
"My sister's got a thing for Gedo boys. She'll go out with you, and if you're lucky, you and I will be brothers-in-law!" Davis hugged Edge tightly. "Welcome to the family, brother!"
Shutting down the blaring red alert klaxons his conscience was sounding, warning him desperately to stay away from Davis and his crazy family, Edge began mentally preparing for the daring plan his new, clearly crazy friend presented.
CMA: And now, for your continued amusement, we now present... A.P.O.V. (tm) (Akuma's Point Of View)!
Keebler Elf: MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRDEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!!!
Well, that about does it. Perfect oranges, perfect tomatoes, perfect heads of lettuce, perfect packs of smoked bacon; the ultimate BLT sandwich and glass of orange juice awaits me!
That little shit-brat better have picked up good dryer sheets.
I continue walking. Nice day, good for a walk. Not as challenging as running, wrestling sharks, or that time Davis brought home that hyper-garlic bread, which I swear I still smell in the cave...
What was I thinking about just now?
Oh, screw it, I don't remember.
Well I'll be.
I see something I haven't seen in a long time; the Seijyun Girls' School. It's quite a majestic complex, with several school and dormitory buildings. Within its walls lay a beautiful park-like series of gardens with benches, fountains, and picnic tables. Everything was well kempt, and such vulgar things as vandalism and petty crimes seemed so very distant from this place.
All this well-planned superficial beauty is, of course, intentional. All a ruse to conceal the fact that within Seijyun lies a gang of female ninjas who, among other things, protect the school fiercely from any influence it deems negative.
I know this, for the few faculty members involved with the gang have paid me on several occasions to train the students. Not that I'm complaining. Good money, fun work, great kids, tasty food, and I got to see it pay off several times during the whole Kurow Kurishima incident. I didn't really approve the use of chains or other weapons that the girls seemed fond of, but--
"Oh my word!"
I hear from a familiar voice. I turn and see its owner. What a coincidence.
"Master Akuma!" she spoke, kneeling before me. "Please forgive me! I didn't mean to startle you!"
"Get up, Zaki!" I command. "I am not some king and will not be bowed to as such!"
"Of course," Zaki stammers, standing. "Please forgive me, Master Akuma! It's just that it's been so long! Have you come to train us again?"
"Another time, maybe. But, if I may, I would like to visit some of my former students."
"Of course, Master Akuma! Most of us are away on vacation, but we always keep a force behind! They'll be thrilled!"
Zaki escorted me into the school grounds. The guards knew who I was and paid me no second thought, save for those who offered me praise.
Just coming to see my former students isn't the whole truth behind my visit, I must admit. A street fighter that I encountered before, Daigo, spoke highly of his sister Akira. She apparently attends this very school.
I often wondered if she fights as well as her brother; the punk actually managed to bruise me here and there.
The quiet Seijyun courtyard did not usually see too much activity during the summer months.
It certainly didn't see a boy and a girl dressing up another boy like a girl very often at all.
"Alright, cutie!" June said sweetly to Edge. "Now just pucker up and we'll apply the lipstick!"
"You're being just a little too flirty, sister-babe," Davis complained. "The man's in love with another woman; wait until he's been utterly and horribly rejected before moving in!"
"Thanks," Edge replied sarcastically, smacking his lips. "How do I look?"
June looked him over and smiled at her handiwork. Truly, she was a cosmetic genius! None should ever know, by mere visual inspection alone, that the lovely young woman that stood before them was really a male knife-wielding Gedo thug.
Edge's long blond hair fell completely behind him and shimmered in the sun. June was more than a little upset that a boy with such beautiful flowing hair would spike it up so grotesquely.
Blush, mascara, and red lipstick accentuated Edge's facial features nicely. June was rather happy with the face; just about all traces of masculinity were gone, and those that remained wouldn't give away Edge as a boy as much as show that, indeed, even the most perfect of human beings had the odd physical blemish here and there. Such bliss; perfection in the imperfections! She blushed slightly at the thought of it all
He wore a big frilly pink dress at June's recommendation, as his bare legs weren't quite "girly" enough. Shaving them would take too long. But the dress covered the neck and fake breasts beautifully.
"I still wish you'd lose the sneakers," she commented, arms crossed, surveying her work.
"Absolutely not!" Edge insisted, also crossing his arms over his fake breasts. "I ain't walking around in no dainty high heels!"
"Fine," June conceded as she pulled out a piece of paper. "Room 217, cutie. I even called Akira in advance for you and she's not going anywhere for a while. Paper's in case you forget."
"I ain't that dumb, ya crazy broad!" he shot back. "But thanks for the help! I'm off. Wish me luck!"
"So where's the room from out here?" Davis asked June as he waved to Edge. "I have to make sure my new friend plays his cards right!"
"Well, aren't you the happy little do-gooder," she taunted, pointing at a window that looked to be on the dorm's second floor. "Just climb up those trees."
"Cool." Before he could get away, though, June grabbed his wrist.
"You want to make out before you go, little brother?" she asked in a rather sultry tone, blushing.
"...No," Davis told his now-pouting older sister. "The evidence is in my old room, behind the dresser. If you push the wall a little you'll see that it caves in a little bit. Reach into the crack and watch for splinters. There's a backpack of stuff in there, including what I planned to use to make you pay for my college education."
"Alright, then, you little fucker," June mocked threateningly. "You better not come back home. Unless you're willing to make me feel like a woma--"
"You're no fun. When Kari's feeling lonely, she just sweet-talks Tai and they--"
Too late. Davis had already scaled the tree and was peering into the dorm window.
That's strange... Where did he get the bag of popcorn?
June sighed heavily, got on her bicycle, and rode away.
Her work was done, she had received her payment, and there was no longer a reason to stay. Professionalism, she thought to herself.
Her heart suddenly felt heavy, though. Her eyes watered just a bit.
She'd never admit it, but she missed Davis terribly. Sure, he was irritating, dumb, careless, clumsy, and tormented her to no end, but...
She blushed, thinking of all the times she came home crying.
All the times she was made fun of by the other girls.
All the times she was rejected by yet another boy.
He'd walk up to her, put his hand on her shoulder, and look into her eyes, smiling warmly the whole time. His eyes were always warm and inviting. He would always nudge her head to his chest gently, and tell her, softly, that there was no need to cry.
Of course, that only made her cry even more, but she felt so comfortable, so safe in his grip, that it didn't seem to matter.
He didn't judge her like the others did. He was always there for her.
She knew it was selfish, but she always wanted him to be there for her.
"You're so stupid, little brother..."
"Ow," he muttered under his breath. "Ow ow ow OW."
Davis made a mental note to stretch before speed-climbing a tree in the future. He rotated his head, neck, and shoulders working out all the kinks.
Ah, popcorn! A more perfect snack food could not exist! Not overly sweet, nor salty, nor bitter; popcorn was truly the food of kings. Davis grimaced, however, when he saw that he already finished half the bag.
Mental note number two: save the rest of the--hey, it's Edge! He's in!
"There he is!" he thought aloud, leaning in closer to the open window, and popping some more popcorn into his mouth. "Alright, Edge, do your work!"
"Oh, hello there! Ms. Akira, right?" Davis heard a ludicrously bad imitation of a female voice say. He knew he forgot something. Oh, well, the voice would have to do.
"Oh, hi Edge!" Akira replied.
Davis nearly fell off the branch.
Well, that's not true: in fact, he did fall off, but caught the branch with his hand and pulled himself back up.
How did she know? How did she possibly know? June was certifiably insane, but she knew her makeup better than basic arithmetic.
"A-Akira!" Edge stuttered, his voice back to normal. "But how--"
"You know, Edge, Zaki-kun and the other girls all consider you one of Seijyun's trusted friends! You don't have to be disguised as a girl to come see me, silly!" Giggling, she pinched his cheek. "You look so cute, though! Hey, how'd you find my room, anyway?"
"OH JUST TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL ALREADY!" a frustrated Davis Motomiya said with a mouth full of popcorn, spraying some of it into the window.
"Dammit, Davis!" Edge yelled, placing his hands on his hips all ladylike. "You ruined the plan!"
"No, you ruined it!" Davis retorted through the window. "June told you not to wear your sneakers! It's probably how she figured you out in one second flat! And what's with the voice?"
"Oh my god," Akira whispered, looking somewhat startled. Then, pointing at Davis with a quavering finger, she yelled, "A GOBLIN!"
Davis blinked twice. "A what?"
"Um, actually, Akira," Edge tried to say, but stopped when Akira reached under her bed and pulled out a full-sized, modernized, very impressive-looking bow and a quiver of arrows.
Davis blinked twice again as a red dot traced its way around his head.
"Cool! That thing's got a laser sight!" Davis admired the fine modern bow, not yet realizing the serious danger he was in.
"Hey, Davis!" Edge called, his voice panic-stricken. "You might want to run! She's got a crazy gleam in her eye!"
"Quiet, Edge!" Akira demanded. "Goblin-hunting is a very taxing endeavor."
Right about now, Davis's brain was piecing together everything he just heard.
Side Story 1-2
Inside the Mind of Davis Motomiya
CMA: Greetings, bitches. I'm back with another revealing "siding story."
Keebler Elf: THE ELVES WILL RISE UP AND KILL THEMSELVES IN THE NAME OF OUR NEW GOD, STEEL JESUS! RISE, STEEL JESUS, AND CLEANSE THE LAND WITH YOUR HEAT-SEEKING MISSILES OF PURIFICATION AND PAIN!!!
CMA: ... Oooooooooooooooo... kay. So, anyway, what is our favorite giddy hero, Davis Motomiya, thinking... right now?
An army of Chibi-Davis's, all speaking in cute high-pitched child-like voices; only four of them say anything of importance in this particular scene:
* Courageous Chibi-Davis, the leader, who wears mini-goggles
* Smart Chibi-Davis, who wears glasses and a tiny graduation hat
* Horny Chibi-Davis, who wears a tiny pair of panties on his head
* Tactical Chibi-Davis, who wears camouflage and holds a tiny map
Davis's mind, which looks like a military control room crossed with an indoor amusement park. Behind the tactical displays are roller coasters, and the field rations being handed out are nothing more than cotton candy.
IN THIS SCENE
In the real world, Davis is being considered a "goblin" by a now bow-equipped Akira. Time has stopped in the real world as the "elite" forces of Davis's brain analyze the situation.
[The four heads of Davis's "Brain Operations And Tactics" (B.O.A.T.) are currently looking at the main view screen. The see, quite simply, Akira aiming a bow and arrow at Davis's head.]
Horny Chibi-Davis: Woohoo! A pwetty wady!
Courageous Chibi-Davis: Tactical, what is the sitwuwation?
Tactical Chibi-Davis: Inteweegence indicates that the device in qwestwun is a war bow.
Smart Chibi-Davis: Yes, the pwetty wady bewieves that Davis is a "gobwin."
Courageous Chibi-Davis [courageous]: She won't beat us! ... Um... what is "gobwin?"
Horny Chibi-Davis: Is it pwetty?
Smart Chibi-Davis [reading from a book titled "Chibi-Book"]: "Gobwin" is a mythwiwogical cweature.
Courageous Chibi-Davis: Mythwiwogican!?
Smart Chibi-Davis: You said it all wong, stoopid!
Tactical Chibi-Davis: Maybe-waybe it's more important to find out what the wady wants to do with gobwins. She said "gobwin-hunting."
Courageous Chibi-Davis: She wants to "hunt gobwins"--
Smart Chibi-Davis: And thinks Davis is a "gobwin..."
[The four stare at each other for a moment, then...]
Courageous Chibi-Davis: WED AWERT!!! WED AWERT!!!
Tactical Chibi-Davis: SEND THE ORDER TO WUN!!!
[Meanwhile, outside Davis's mind...]
Davis [realization]: HOLY CWAP--I MEAN, CRAP!!! SHE'S GOING TO PUT AN ARROW IN ME!!!
[He jumps off the branch just in time to avoid the first arrow and hits the ground running for dear life.]
CMA: Stupendous. This has been Side Story 1-2! Back to the show! This time things are in... COMIC VISION!!!
--== Comic Book Panel # 1 ==--
Davis is running. Akira is aiming her bow. Speed lines.
--== Comic Book Panel # 2 ==--
Close-up of Akira's face. She is intently focused. Concentration lines.
--== Comic Book Panel # 3 ==--
Far shot of Akira. She has fired. The arrow screams onward. Speed lines.
--== Comic Book Panel # 4 ==--
Davis looks back, still running. The arrow screams towards him. Speed lines.
--== Comic Book Panel # 5 ==--
Davis trips and falls. Arrow screams towards him. Speed lines.
--== Comic Book Panel # 6 ==--
Davis is now sitting up. Arrow screams towards him. He eyes it. Speed lines.
--== Comic Book Panel # 7 ==--
Davis's eyes are even wider and the arrow is literally an inch from his face. Speed lines.
--== Comic Book Panel # 8 ==--
No one is seen, but the word "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" is spelled out in highly stylized letters.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Davis screamed, unscathed, eyeing the hideous, hideous sight before him.
It was horrible! This fresh hell was perhaps the greatest injustice ever inflicted upon another human being in the history of mankind!
Tai's old goggles, the ones that Davis always wore, were pinned to the brick wall with an arrow through one of its lenses.
Davis had managed to dodge the arrow at the last second. So close was the arrow, and so fast was the dodge, that the goggles slipped off his forehead enough for the arrow to pierce them instead of him.
"Hey, wait a minute!" Akira said questioningly, bow still in hand. "You're not a goblin!"
"Akira!" Edge, still in women's clothing, called, running to the scene. "Stop! He's my friend! He helped me put together this outfit and was just checking on me is all!"
"Oh, geez, mister," Akira said apologetically. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to wreck your novelty goblin eyes!"
She helped Davis up and brushed the dirt off his coat. "Here," she coaxed, "let me help you up. Some of the girls who stayed for the summer know how to repair these things. We'll have your novelty goblin eyes all ready and scary for you in no time!"
"Um, thanks," Davis replied, unsure of what to make of the situation. "But they were just goggles--"
"I hope this teaches you a lesson about scaring people and pretending to be a goblin!" Akira lectured.
"Akira," Edge began, "there's no such--"
"Absolutely!" Davis said happily, cutting in. "I'll be more careful from now on, crazy lady!"
"Good!" she chimed. "By means of apology, and because you are the friend of a friend, I will petition Zaki and the seniors to make you one of Seijyun's trusted friends! Which means you can come back anytime you like!"
"Well, thanks, I guess. Say, you mentioned other girls, right?"
"Yes, that's right!"
"Thanks much, Ms. Akira! I have some work to do! Take care!"
"Um, Davis," she called, noticing that he headed towards the school's gymnasium, instead of the exit, "you're going the wrong way!"
"No I'm not!"
The day passes, and our two heroes finish their rounds. In addition, there's been enough plot manipulation for one day. So let's cut to the chase before this gets old, shall we?
Let's take a look at how everyone fared...
Davis, as one might expect, invaded the Seijyun Girls' School gym locker room. Taking advantage of the fact that even in the summer months, the facility was used frequently, the strapping young buck manages to sweet-talk many of the girls into both not killing him and attending a party at Akuma's cave that evening.
Well, actually, he convinced the ninja girls to spare him in exchange for a free party in the cave of "famous ex-substitute teacher Akuma." Davis couldn't picture Akumie as a teacher but didn't really think much of it.
On his way home, he purchased his share of the groceries, including no name dryer sheets.
Akuma caught up with his old students and showed them some of the finer points of fireball control and sandal making.
He didn't meet Akira, but did see her walk about with a fairly pretty blond girl in a huge pink dress. Shoving a few impure thoughts about the girl in pink from his mind, and deciding that such thoughts must be somehow indirectly Davis's fault, he thought nothing more of it.
He left the school to meet Davis near the docks, and made a point to murder the child if he did not purchase suitable brand-name dryer sheets.
June managed to get to her bath, content that she had done something with her day that didn't involve wacky Three's Company-level schemes to get sexed up. The towel rack remained on the floor, covered in chipped paint and dust. She didn't give a flying fuck about it.
However, she became concerned when she heard about a missing "fox-boy" over her waterproof radio, and thought about a friend of hers who suddenly took in a "fox-boy" roommate named Tails...
Edge and Akira went to catch a movie.
Several guys hit on Edge throughout the night. When Akira wasn't looking, he dumped their bodies in a river. But he kept their wallets and treated Akira to a delicious steak dinner.
He didn't confess his feelings, but started enjoying the feeling of women's clothing, which worried him a little. He then realized that nothing really went too wrong that day, and made it a point not to trust his conscience's warnings again.
Five seconds later, and still all dressed up, he ran into Daigo, who asked Edge to dance. Edge, mortified, wanted to speak up, but didn't for fear that he would be recognized. So... he danced. And discovered that he was quite a good dancer. But, unfortunately, discovered that Daigo was a terrible kisser.
Later that night, at home, Edge threw up.
Dr. Ivo Robotnik, also known as the notorious and infamous Eggman, was found guilty of manslaughter after his latest floating satellite crushed an entire third-world country. He bribed a jury to find him innocent. Akira believed that he was innocent, despite hard proof that Daigo presented. Daigo went slightly insane-er.
The docks. He's supposed to meet me here. Little punk-tard better have bought good dryer sheets.
Ah, there he is.
I see the little maggot leaning on the guardrail. Shopping bags are at his feet.
Little pervert's probably looking down women's shirts. Not a bad way to pass the time, I must admit, but more than a little wrong.
He doesn't notice me yet.
Looking closer, at his face, I see that he's...
... Sad? Am I seeing things? Davis Motomiya is on a constant and consistent sugar-high; he can't be sad! The very thought of it is ludicrous.
He's smiling the way he always does, though.
He's talking to a bird perched on the rail. What is he doing?
Still doesn't notice me. Maybe I'll just listen in. Should be some below-par humor at the very least.
"That's her, Mr. Bird. You see her down there?" He points at something.
I can see her. It's the girl with the glasses from before. She's laughing, holding hands with the other kid.
"Her name's Yolei. See how pretty she is? She's also smart, and very kind."
What is this? His voice, his tone, the very essence of his words drips confusion and regret.
"Want to hear a funny story, Mr. Bird? The last night I spent any sort of time with her, she told me she loved me. She loved me! Me, Mr. Bird! Can you believe it? And the only thing... the only thing I could think of at the time..."
What was it, Davis?
I smirked a bit. Little fool was probably into some TV show, or busy playing with something shiny.
"The only thing I could think of is my friend, Ken."
["I..." Yolei stammered, almost choking on her words, "Davis... I love you."]
[Was this true? Was he hearing things?]
[Davis couldn't believe it. She just told him that she loved him!]
[He was so happy; he'd been in love with her for so long! Ever since that day she fell into his arms crossing the rickety bridge in the Digi-World, ever since he felt her warmth against him, he was hooked. The more time he spent with Yolei, the deeper he fell into the spell she unknowingly cast on him. It wasn't like the crush on Kari; it was real.]
[Davis wanted, so desperately, to turn to her and return the favor. He wanted, so very desperately, to touch her and kiss her and feel her body one more time. He wanted to show her, so very, very desperately, his love for her, his feelings for her, his desire to be with her for all time.]
[But a thought entered his mind... one that he could not ignore.]
[He cursed his stupidity, his conscience, his very will for burdening him with such a task.]
[He almost ignored it... almost...]
[Until it told him to remember just who he was.]
["Why thanks Yolei!" Davis returned, using all his strength to silence what every nerve, every impulse, every hormone in his body told him to do. "Check out this car scene it's SOOOOOOO awesome!"]
["Um, no, Davis, you don't understand," Yolei said, clearly more than a little befuddled. She blushed several shades of red. "I mean that I love you. I... oh, god, Davis, I want you! Badly!"]
[The battle in this torn young man's mind continued, but he managed to suppress it yet again. "YES!" he cheered at an explosion showing on TV. "AWESOME!"]
[Frustrated, she jumped on top of him, wrestled him down, and let her face hover so very, very close to his.]
[Davis's heart and mind raced a mile a minute.]
[He wanted her.]
[He needed her.]
[He loved her.]
["Take me, Davis!" He could smell her, almost taste her. "Take me now! Make me SCREAM!"]
["Oh, okay," Davis said, feeling a piece of his soul die. "Once, just after we saved the Digi-World from Myotismon, TK needed spending money, so he secretly took pictures of you naked when you were in the shower and sold them on the internet. It was more popular than Pam Anderson and Paris Hilton put together."]
["WHAT!?" Yolei screamed in disbelief. "THAT BASTARD!"]
["Actually, I'm just joking." It was so hard to maintain the deception. Too hard. He needed to end this in the worst way. He gently pushed her weight off his, got up, and headed for the door, fighting the pull with everything he had. "But you asked me to make you scream! What are friends for, eh? I'll see you tomorrow, Yolei!"]
"I loved her, Mr. Bird. I... I still do, deep down. But I didn't want to hurt Ken, y'know? Yolei reached out to him when he was feeling his worst, and he fell in love with her, too."
I couldn't believe it. He was telling the truth.
He honestly did it.
Why? Why would he do such a thing?
Just like my weak brother and my foolish old master.
I ensure that he does not notice me, and listen more intently than before.
I need to hear more! I need to hear why! It drives me mad!
"As badly as I wanted to kiss her... as badly as I wanted her... I will not do anything to hurt the people I love. When I left her house, I waited behind a tree, just to see if my hunch was right. Sure enough, I saw her call someone, and about an hour later, Ken showed up."
You... You idiot...
"Yolei couldn't be that hurt by my rejection, Mr. Bird. She had a very, very close second to fall back on. She loved Ken, too; I knew it. And Ken would most certainly be happy to oblige."
The bird chips, almost as if acknowledging what it is being told.
Davis chuckled a bit. "No, it's okay, you don't have to tell them Mr. Bird. I don't want them to know. It will only hurt them. And I will not to anything to hurt the people I love, Mr. Bird."
I can see tears rolling down his cheek. The stupid goof is still smiling.
"I will not... I will not hurt them... no matter what..."
But... But you would inflict this grievous wound upon your very soul, you little fool? Why? Why would you not claim what so obviously belongs to you and only you? Why would you not claim the woman that could've well been your lifelong companion, your potential wife, and the mother of your children? Why not claim that which wishes to be claimed by you?
The bird chirps again, and then flies away.
It cannot lift this silly burden you shoulder, Davis.
It drives me insane just thinking about it! You could've been happy! Why the sacrifice? Why do this for them? They were laughing at you just earlier today! Laughing at your stupidity!
Truly, child, your intelligence is questionable and loyalties are clearly misplaced.
And yet... Am I wrong?
Love without greed.
Kindness without gratitude.
Honor without pride.
Is this what you meant by your final words, brother? How cruel of you to taunt me so. Is this your revenge? To make me respect this boy who has demonstrated a strength, a selfless courtesy, a power of will that I can never understand? To make me see that, in place of his own desire, this boy chose others and not himself?
Davis... I see now why our paths are destined to cross so many times.
I think... I think that perhaps... Perhaps we have much to teach each other.
"Hey, boy!" I call angrily. "C'mon, the ferry doesn't run all night."
"What?" He turns and sees me. "Oh, hey, Akumie! Guess what happened to me today? I snuck into a girls' locker room at Seijyun and saw me some sweet! Oh, and I invited some of the sexy ladies to our cave. I think some of them are big fans of yours and want to sex you up! I figure you'd be cool with it."
You little shit.
"Why, Davis, you retard to end all retards, would I be OKAY WITH IT!? I DON'T WANT--"
"I CALL THE WINDOW SEAT!" the boy exclaims, running past me towards the docks, bags in hand.
... Those girls he said he'd bring over... they better be hot...
Oh, man, please tell me I did not just think that...
> continue to volume02?
> (y or n)