| "Card Captor Jessica" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] | Reviewed By: DrakeTheDuelist [MediaMiner Member] On: March 20, 2008 15:06 CDT
Comment/Review:
It's a good thing I've seen Tsubasa's 3rd OVA, or else I wouldn't be able to wrap my brain around what a blonde Sakura looks like. The chapter wasn't too terribly exciting as far as the plot went, but I think you're leading up to something big in the subplots (half of being a captivating writer is being a captivating tease), so I'll be sticking around for a while. If you want more out of your action scenes, put more of your own descriptions in, not just "looks like Sakura" or "baton-twirls like Sakura", and the less you leave to your readers to fill in the details as they go, the better you can capture your scenes just the way you envision them. That said though, you may want to pick up a thesaurus if you ever find yourself running low on synonyms. However, enough of how Jessica is Sakura-like. What does Jessica do different than Sakura?
| Reviewed By: DrakeTheDuelist [MediaMiner Member] On: March 16, 2008 13:41 CDT
Comment/Review:
Ah, dub fics... No offense to your effort as an author, but some of the best CCS fics tend to be anime-based, simply because the "dub" is rife with inconsistency. It might do your story some good to explain along the way why exactly Sakura went bat-crazy in the first place. I'm sure that's what's on all your readers' minds, and I bet that CC Jessica will have to come into direct conflict with Sakura at some point or another. What with Jessica doubtlessly being a potential roadblock to Sakura's world domination aspirations and all. Finally, you don't actually plan to write all fifty-three (52, depending on how dub-restricted your fic's canon is) cards in your fic, do you? I've seen tons of these Cardcaptors Rewrite fics, and of nearly a hundred, I've only ever seen one of these fics finished in entirety, and even that fic took the writer a few years to complete. If you're really serious about completing this thing, try to only focus on those handful of choice cards whose captures advance your storyline, leaving the others as off-screen captures. Also, a bit of a shameless plug, I'm trying to promote one of my own fics as well: Chaos Card Captor Sakura. As the name of my fic suggests, and seeing what you've written for Card Captor Jessica so far, I was thinking that my "C3S" fic might be right up your alley.
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