Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Tale of Two Wallets ❯ Forget Me Not ( Chapter 8 )

A Tale of Two Wallets

(An Altered Destiny)

Written by Jim Robert Bader

Proofread by Shiva Barnwell

"More Ramen for Ranma?"

"Uh, no thanks," Ranma replied as he turned his mouth away from the proffered chopsticks laden with spicy noodles, "I'm not hungry anymore, couldn't eat another bite if I had to."

Shampoo looked disappointed as she sat back and studied her husband with an earnestly concerned expression. She looked very cute sitting where she was at Ranma's side, the perfect model of a dutiful wife seeking to please the man to whom she was married. Ranma, on the other hand, looked tense and nervous, unsure of what to do as he sat before the table trying to wage a silent war between wanting not to hurt her feelings and finding a way to make her stop behaving like his mistress, or something.

Nabiki sat at the other end of the room pretending to ignore the whole exchange, silently fuming as she stared without seeing the homework sheet in front of her, her every nerve and fiber tensing with the desire to do something, to angrily denounce the couple, or at the very least tell the Chinese Amazon to take a hike and leave Ranma alone for the rest of the evening.

"Hmmph," Shampoo sniffed cutely, "Why you so stubborn, Airen? You no like Shampoo's cooking?"

"Oh no," Ranma hastily insisted with a lopsided smile, "It's not that, really…you're great cook, maybe even as good as Kasumi."

"Oh?" Shampoo adopted that sly look again as her competitive spirit once more rose to the surface, "You want maybe we find out who cook you food better? Shampoo no mind if nice girl compete, but Shampoo still do better. You judge who cook you better dinner?"

"Ah…maybe another time," Ranma said weakly, "I'm just full right now, couldn't eat another bite if I tried."

"Hiyaa," Shampoo said with a thoughtful expression, "Then maybe you need take nap, Airen. Let Shampoo give you rub-down, help with digestion…"

The sound of a loud snapping filled the room and caused both heads to turn towards Nabiki, who sat there with the two halves of the pencil she had just broken between her fingers, her expression a mask of intense displeasure that she seemed barely able to contain. It was with some effort that Nabiki mastered her anger then sat upright, saying, "If you two are going to make out, then I'll give you all the room you need."

"Nabiki…" Ranma faintly murmured as he watched the middle Tendo daughter get up to leave.

"Short haired girl very strange," Shampoo remarked with an odd expression, then she turned to smile again as she put her arms around Ranma and said, "Still is nice we be alone together, Airen. You want backrub now?"

Ranma barely heard the question as he watched Nabiki's shadow vanish up the stairs. His face was set with a look of abject misery as he murmured very faintly, "Nabiki…"

Nabiki stormed up to her room and slammed the door behind her, being careful to lock it, then sought out her desk and sat down, putting her chin on her hands as she glared angrily at nothing. For several long moments she fumed in silence, then-very slowly to be sure-her anger faded, to be replaced by a sense of forlorn longing.

"Ranma…" she whispered, the name containing an equal measure of sadness and sweetness.

After a very long pause she sighed, then reached down and unlocked her desk, removing a small black book that once had sat unused in the open but was now among her most prized possessions. She glanced sidelong at her computer, then put the book away again and powered the thing up, waiting several long moments before she could open a Word file after keying in a certain password.

Once the file was called up she leafed down to her last entry, then pointed and clicked with the cursor at the bottom of her last paragraph, spaced down to the next line and began to type in a new entry with careful strokes of her long, tapering fingers…

"Well, I'm back again and ready to give my latest update. It's been nearly a full week since the Amazon moved in with us and she shows no signs of getting tired of seeking out Ranma's affections. It's been getting a lot harder for me keeping up the pretense of indifference watching that girl paw my iinazuke, and I'm starting to lose it big time. I don't know how much more of this I can take and if I don't do something fast I am going to go utterly crazy…"

A knock on the door brought Nabiki to a halt in her writing. Very cautiously she said, "Who is it?"

"Oneechan?" asked Akane, "Is it all right if I come in?"

Nabiki turned off the monitor screen after saving the file then got up from her desk with another sigh and unlocked the door, meeting her sister's worried gaze with her own best attempt at stoical indifference.

"Sure," she said as she stepped back to allow Akane in, "No problem. What's on your mind, Imoutochan?"

Akane waited until Nabiki had locked the door again, giving her older sister a worried look that seemed to read her lack of sleep and general misery at a glance, then she said, "How are you holding up? I thought I saw you heading this way and I thought…"

"You thought I might be in tears or something," Nabiki said matter-of-factly, "Sorry to disappoint you, Imoutochan, but I don't do that stuff. Besides, it's not as if it's any of my business what goes on between those two…"

"Who are you kidding?" Akane all but exploded, "Ranma takes up with that floozy and you say it's none of your business?"

"Why should it be?" Nabiki asked in a hard tone, "I know Ranma's blameless for bringing that girl into this house. She's not really his type, but he's got to humor her until we can figure out what to do about those stupid laws of hers…"

"What do you mean it's not his fault?" Akane demanded, "He challenged her to a fight then humiliated her in front of her entire village, and ran away on top of that, causing her to come chasing him down right to our father's house, then to top it off he goes and beats her a second time, giving her the weird idea that he's her husband? Sounds pretty much to me as if it's all his fault, every bit of it…"

"I will remind you that at the time of her second defeat Shampoo was threatening me," Nabiki replied coolly, "Ranma was acting to save my life when he accidentally beat her. Why should I blame him for that, even if it is in her stupid rules to marry the guy who defeats her in battle."

"Come on, 'Neechan," Akane complained, "You've got to feel something about all of this. I can't believe you'd let that creep walk all over you while he takes up with that over-inflated bimbo!"

"You think he'd have the guts to try anything with her while I'm watching?" Nabiki stoically remarked with just as much stubborn pride as anything Akane might muster, "You forget what she's like when he's in his girl form, chasing him all over the yard, smashing anything in her way, only to glomp on him as soon as I can pour some hot water on the baka…"

"And you're not even charging him for that," Akane said with an almost sisterly smirk, "In spite of the cost of repairing all the damages. You're either slipping or you're more hung up over the guy than you want to admit."

"Believe whatever you like," Nabiki said as evenly as she could, but the effort was too much for her this time and so she sat down with a low groan and stared at the floor for a full minute before saying, "It's not his fault, he doesn't want to be with her. He's trying to pretend I don't exist so that Shampoo doesn't suspect me of being her rival. You know what she'd do to me if she gets it into her head that I'm in the way of her having a relationship with Ranma."

"I know," Akane's tone softened abruptly, "I really don't see why you'd put up with this over his account, he's such a typical guy! Arrogant, smug, self-centered, thinks he's better than anybody…"

"And he could beat you hands down," Nabiki shot back in tired humor, "If he could bring himself to hit a woman. We both know how good he is, and unfortunately so does Shampoo. She considers him a real prize, and I guess I can't really blame her."

"I never thought I'd live to hear you say that about some guy," Akane sniffed, "You always said macho creeps like him were beneath your notice, and it's not exactly like he's a potential Rhodes scholar…"

Nabiki snorted at that, "He thinks the Meiji restoration period caused the decline and fall of our civilization."

Akane blinked at that then said, "Uh yeah…whatever…"

"Look, Sis," Nabiki sighed, "I know being engaged to Ranma has meant a lot of pain and sacrifice, but I've got everything under control, really. Have you ever seen me lose control over my life? Do you think a little setback with some purple haired Chinese tart from the boonies is going to get the better of Tendo Nabiki?" She paused for a moment and then her resolve began to crumble as she softly added, "Maybe."

Akane herself was silent for a few moments, then she managed to smile and say, "Staying up here in your room's no good, 'Neechan. Why don't you go downstairs with me and we'll work out together. I know I always feel better after I've had a good workout."

"You think beating the stuffings out of helpless bags and equipment is going to make me feel better?" Nabiki scoffed, then she sighed, "What the hell, I guess it wouldn't hurt to try doing things your way…"

Private Journal of Tendo Nabiki:

So okay, maybe Akane had the right idea after all. I mean, punching bags isn't a suitable substitute for hitting the thing I'd really rather try to beat up, but it's a lot less painful in the short run.

Ever since Ranma rekindled my interest in the Anything Goes martial arts system I used to practice when I was a kid I've been taking it out a lot more on the padded dummies and gloves with Akane helping by sparring with me, which is about like going up against a Middle Weight Prize fighter, but my sister is taking it easy on me for the most part. At least she never punches back, which I know would hurt a lot if she were fighting in serious earnest.

I do feel a tiny bit better after a work out, even if this doesn't basically solve my real problem, which is the Purple Haired dynamo whom I have absolutely no chance of beating in a straight fight. I could train for ten years and never be as good as she is. I know this for a fact because I've seen her working out in the morning, and she fights for keeps on a level almost worthy of Ranma. Only a fool would go a single round with her, and she comes from a society where second best is not an option.

I mean that girl is phenomenal! She fights like a tiger with more strength and better control than Akane on her best day. Though she prefers to use those metal bonbori spheres she's just as good without them, and her whole body is as toned and fluid a weapon as any acrobat. Just watching her work out I find it incredible that even Ranma could have beat her.

Okay, so I can't physically match her prowess, no big surprise there seeing what this girl can do to the wall of an average building. I still have an advantage over her in that I'm a native of this country while she's a foreigner and can barely speak the language. I won't claim that this girl is stupid, even if she does act like a clueless bimbo much of the time. She's more than capable of the same low animal cunning as Ranma and can surprise me in little ways, so it would not pay to underestimate her intelligence.

Anyway the basic problem is that she comes from a warrior culture that prizes strength and combat ability over more civilized virtues. She's the best in her age group and she's never known defeat until she met with Ranma in his girl form a few months ago in China. By the laws of her society she has to regain her lost face by killing the red haired, pig-tailed girl who defeated her in battle, but she must also marry the boy who defeated her as well, and the fact that the two are one in the same has so far escaped her notice. What happens when she does find out the truth is anyone's guess, but there's no mystery at all about what she'll do if she find out about me and Ranma.

Warriors in her culture are jealously possessive about their men, and by the rules of her society she is already Ranma's wife, even if there's been no formal ceremony. An outsider female claiming to be engaged to her husband would be a challenge to her status, an obstacle by definition, and according to the rules of her society obstacles like me are only good for removal.

But I'm the one who is engaged to Ranma by the honor of our families, while Ranma is more afraid of Shampoo than anything else and would rather not have anything to do with her if it were up to him. I can see that in his every look and gesture when that floozy is trying to get his attention or start something up with the boy. Akane may think that Ranma is encouraging Shampoo by not outright refusing her attention, but I still remember the scream he gave out that night when he found her laying in his bed naked.

Nobody's that good an actor, especially Ranma. He's too nice to tell her off, and that one time he did try explaining his feelings to her she just nodded her head and smiled a lot, not understanding a word he was saying. I watched from concealment as Ranma tried and failed to tell her that he could not marry her just because of an accident where she got careless and knocked herself out trying to get at me. I think a brick wall would have been more understanding, or maybe she just did not want to hear the rejection in his voice. I don't think the rules allow her the option of refusal, and even without those stupid rules she seems bound and determined to take Ranma with her back to China.

I'm jealous, okay, and I'll admit it here where nobody can see me say it. I want Ranma all to myself and the thought of him being with Shampoo is enough to make me physically ill. Try as hard as I can I just can't bring myself to ignore what's happening under my father's roof, so if anybody has a right to be angry at Ranma it's me and not Akane.

The only problem is that I'm the one who told Ranma not to upset the Amazon, and we both agreed that it was safer for me if we pretended to be strangers. Ranma won't fight with a woman, and if Shampoo learns that I'm engaged to him she'll probably attack me, just like last time. Since he can't defend me I need to use my wits to get us both out of this situation. I've spent hours on the Net researching the Nyanichiczu Amazons, but all I've been able to discover so far confirms that Shampoo is as trapped as we are, so for now the best thing to do is to keep our cool and try to make Shampoo happy until I can come up with some kind of an answer.

The way I see it the only way out of this mess would be for somebody to defeat Shampoo in battle and take her from Ranma. They haven't consummated their marriage yet so Ranma is only technically Shampoo's husband by the laws of her village. If another man were to claim her, and were able to defeat Ranma, then Shampoo would no longer be bound to my fiancé and would have to call that other man her husband.

My fiancé. Only a few short weeks ago I would have gagged before saying that, now I write it so fluidly you'd think the idea of being somebody's wife was what I lived for. Until I'd met Ranma I had been the mistress of my own destiny, beholden to none and not in the least bit interested in becoming like millions of other young girls who pine away and dream of a handsome husband.

I guess part of the problem was that the boys that I was used to associating with were callow and crass youths governed by their insecurities and hormones, intimidated by girls and yet wanting to assert their masculinity by displaying their prowess in the pursuit of young women one way or another. I used to think all men were like that until the day I met Ranma, who has so far proved to be the exception to every rule in the book as far as I thought I understood about the male of our species.

Ranma is different from other boys, and by different I don't just mean that he's a superior martial artist or anything like that. I mean the guy's trained all his life to be the best there is at beating people up, and it's like a gift with him. He makes it look so easy that it's like he's hardly even trying.

I mean to say that Ranma isn't obsessed with impressing women, or anyone else for that matter, so he basically is pretty naïve when it comes to the way most boys act who are seeking attention. Ranma impresses me by the very fact that he really isn't trying to impress me or any anybody else about his martial arts prowess. He takes a lot of things for granted that quite frankly would scare me silly, both acrobat and daredevil rolled into one, so what's normal to him would be pretty extraordinary to an Olympic level gymnast, and he does things so nonchalantly…

Anyway what I meant to say doesn't just cover martial arts because if that were all there was to the guy I'd have written him off as more in Akane's line than mine. No, what makes Ranma special to me is that he really cares deep down about people. The guy's spent most of his life alone living like a wild man but he genuinely does care about the people he interacts with on an almost daily basis. He cares about his father, even though the old panda has been a very poor role model in a lot of areas, and he cares about even a baka like Ryoga on account of the fact that the aptly-named Lost Boy got himself stuck with a Jusenkyo curse trying to hunt Ranma down for a fight over bread, which sounds to me more like a self-inflicted injury but makes Ranma feel guilty, as if he deliberately knocked Ryoga into that pool like Hibiki keeps insisting.

And Ranma cares about me as well…I know this deep down in my heart and I'm nobody's fool when it comes to men, let me tell you!

Of course he's also a very long way from an ideal human being, more like a real diamond in the rough, a Wild Horse in need of domestication who's never mastered the people skills that contact with other guys his own age might inspire, except on those occasions when he's managed to attend school those times that he and his father settled in one place long enough to enroll in classes.

Ranma is kind and he can be very thoughtful at times, which is more to say that when he isn't being totally thoughtless he can be the nicest boy in all of Nerima. I think the difference is that he is so good at fighting he rarely needs to prove himself by throwing his weight around with other boys his own age. He lacks some of their insecurities and hasn't been socialized enough in pack logic to think that he has to prove himself in their pecking order. He just walks right through the obstacles in life that obsess some people and other boys get out of his way, sensing that Ranma could walk all over them without breaking stride if he had a mind to. Ranma never has to prove himself around people in order to get their attention, and he never really tries to impress anyone with the fact that he is so good at what he does. This isn't nobility on his part, it's simple nonchalance, the result of a lifetime training to be the best with no thought or regard to how he might compare himself with others.

Ranma is basically a very lonely person, having only had his father for companionship, and thus he isn't used to thinking like a pack animal. Why should he want to impress anybody that he's the best at what he does? He already knows it, and so considers it a waste of time, not to mention a distraction from perfecting his technique. He feels cut off from normal society but tries to cope by letting people accept or reject him as he is. He claims that he doesn't need anybody, but deep down he knows that this is as much a lie as when I say the same thing.

That's why we get along so well…at heart we understand each other in a way no one else could. In a lot of ways I'm just like Ranma, only I'm not as secure about my physical abilities. My talents lay in another direction.

I'm not saying that Ranma is perfect, mind you, but for me he is perfect. I can stand his posturing and arrogance, his belief that he can do anything and that nobody is better in the art than he is. I'm not competing with him about this like Akane, I'm more than happy to concede the field in recognition of his superiority. In terms of Brawn there's no question that Ranma is better…it's in regard to Brains that I claim my superiority, and I think Ranma respects this about me, or at least he doesn't seem to resent it as much as other boys, such as Kuno.

It's rare enough finding a boy who can respect me for my intelligence, but when Ranma looks at me and says that he finds me pretty, that's when my intelligence takes a backseat to something else that's overwhelming. The way he can smile when he says it, as if he really means it and is not just flattering me or buttering me up…

Sheesh! Did I just write all that? I ought to hit the delete key! When did I ever get as long-winded as Kuno? I should stick to the facts here and try not to let my feelings color my perceptions. Besides, it's not like I can put into words the kind of emotions he bring out in me. I only know that when I'm with Ranma I feel less alone somehow. I never really knew I was lonely until the day I met him, and now I can't even imagine what my life would be like if he did go back to China…

Okay, stick to the facts! Shampoo is a problem, she's my rival and a threat to my continuing survival. So what to do to make her leave me and Ranma alone? I need to think of something soon before this whole crazy situation really does drive me out of my gourd. I mean just sitting down there pretending to do my homework while spying on the two of them, watching the way she pawed him while trying to feed him by hand…it's a good thing Japan has strict gun laws or I'd probably have shot her dead without once thinking of the legal ramifications.

Japan does have a death penalty, even for minors my age, which is a shame because there are times when that notion becomes awful tempting! Those times I almost think it might be worth a lengthy stay in jail just to rid myself of that Amazon. I just can't put into words the kind of rage I feel when I think of her trying to seduce my Ranma and turn him into her personal sex slave…

Okay, that's enough rambling for now. I'll start this up later when I can think more objectively about the whole matter. Letting my emotions run away with me is a sure recipe for disaster and I won't give that purple-haired witch have that kind of satisfaction…

"Saotome, prepare to die!"

Ranma barely looked up from where he was going as he listlessly responded, "Oh, high Ryoga. What do you want with me this time?"

The lost boy planted himself firmly in the path of his erstwhile rival and angrily declared, "You have to ask? For what you did to Nabiki, of course, taking up with that Chinese floozy! By hurting her you've hurt Akane, and for that…I cannot forgive you!"

"Oh," Ranma said listlessly, "Well, go ahead, then, I won't stop you."

"What?" Ryoga blinked, hesitating for a few seconds as if suspecting a trick, then he reared back with a fist and said, "I'm not falling for that one! Prepare to die, Ranma!"

Ranma just looked at his former friend and did not even sigh, his blue eyes full of misery as he waited for Ryoga to strike. It was that very look of fatalism that made Ryoga hesitate another few seconds, then finally he decided to attack anyway, but at less than full power. No way was he going to commit himself and leave an opening for a counter-offensive!

To his horror and amazement Ranma-who could normally flow around his attacks as though he were made of water-did not even try to block the attack as it connected with his jaw and drove him backward into the wall surrounding a neighbor's property. The wall cracked where Ranma impacted and for several moments he just stood there with his arms braced wide. Then Ranma straightened up again and looked Ryoga in the eyes and sighed.

"Are you done? Do you feel better? Because if that's all you've got, then you're wasting my time."

With that Ranma turned off on his original direction without bothering to glance sideways else he would have seen the stunned expression on the face of Ryoga Hibiki, who just stood where he was, staring at the wall as though he had never even heard Ranma speak.

A few moments later Akane showed up and said, "There you are! Why do you wander off like that, Ryoga-kun? I get so worried about you sometimes…Ryoga? Hey, are you all right?"

"Hah?" Ryoga slowly looked down at his balled fist, then stared at the wall again and murmured, "It's like he never even felt it…"

"Huh?" Akane finally turned her head to see the cracked portion of the wall, which looked very much as if a human body had impacted there. She turned a surprised look to Ryoga and said, "You don't mean to say you hit Ranma?"

"I hit him," Ryoga turned to look at her incredulously, "And he never even tried to avoid me. I didn't hit him very hard, I thought maybe he was faking or trying to set me up, but…it's like he hardly even noticed!"

"So you just let him leave?" Akane asked, and when Ryoga nodded she sighed, "Poor Ranma. I guess this has been pretty hard on him, too. I've never seen him so depressed. He's usually so cocky and arrogant, so full of himself, and to see him like this..."

"I thought he was just being a coward not facing up to Shampoo, for treating Nabiki that way," Ryoga remarked, "I guess I never really saw how this was affecting him, too. It's still not right that he's spending so much time with Shampoo…"

"Not like she's been making it easy either," Akane scowled, "It's all her fault, and his too, the coward!! Ever since she came to Japan she's been nothing but trouble! We've got to find a way of making her leave. Ryoga, I don't suppose you…"

"Fight a woman?" Ryoga almost backed away in horror, "Akane…you know I could never do that!"

"I wasn't asking you to," Akane said with a softening expression, "You know I'd never ask you to do that, and besides…I don't want that hussy coming after you like she has Ranma," and her expression darkened noticeably at that concept.

"Oh," Ryoga said in relief, then started twiddling his fingers as he tried not to look at her directly while asking, "What…is it you want me to do then? You know I'd do anything for you, Akane."

"Really?" Akane's face brightened like the sun, which made Ryoga's own heart soar amid the clouds before she was able to continue, "I was just going to ask if you have any idea what would make that Amazon leave us all alone."

"I…I don't really know," Ryoga shrugged, hiding his slight disappointment, "She's got those rules she has to obey about killing or marrying Ranma, and if she catches him in his girl form…"

"Right," Akane's expression once more turned serious, "We don't want that., so what we need is some way to discourage her from staying around, like maybe get her hitched to another boyfriend."

"Ah," Ryoga found himself extremely reluctant to voice the next few words aloud, but his honor won out over his pride as he said, "Won't that be kind of difficult? I mean…Ranma's pretty good, and so is that Shampoo, and it's not like there are too many other people in our class in Nerima…"

Akane felt conflicting emotions as she silently agreed with that assessment, though her own pride would not allow her to concede that Ranma and Shampoo were that much better than she was, "Then we've got to find somebody fast before things get even more out of control than they already are. If I have to see Nabiki looking any more unhappy than she already is…"

Ryoga looked at her and then summoned up the courage to say, "If there's anything I can do to help you just have to ask, Akane. I'd even challenge her myself if you want me to…I'm sure I could beat her if it came down to a real fight…"

"And then she'd be out to marry you," Akane glared unpleasantly away, "Thanks for the offer, though. Let's try and find some way to handle this, like maybe reading that stupid Amazon codebook she left at the house. There's got to be some way of getting Ranma out of this, maybe a loophole we never heard about before…"

"Let's go to your place and find it," Ryoga agreed, hoping against hope that she was right while silently cursing Ranma for not having the guts to tell the purple haired girl to get lost once and for all. It was a lot easier to think like that than to admit that he was glad that he wasn't in Ranma's place, thought he had been sincere in making his offer. Mostly…

Nabiki's Journal Continues:

She's finally done it! That Amazon bimbo has crossed the line and now I'm going to see she pays, one way or another!

Bad enough she come here trying to steal my Ranma away from me, while trying to kill him in his girl half, and even worse that she's managed to shame and humiliate me in front of the entire school, to say nothing of my father and family! Bad enough that she now lives here as an unwanted tenant and makes a thorough pest out of herself while fawning on Ranma and trying to get him to return her attention, but this day marks the crossing of the Rubicund, and I will never forgive her!

When I wrote my last entry I was depressed and moody because I had to pretend that I was just a casual stranger watching that bitch make out with my iinazuke! Now I have an even stronger motive to want to deal her dirt, and it all involves what happened today when Ranma and I encountered each other during study period when I was nominally helping him to do his homework.

Being the only time we could truly be alone together without risking Shampoo's discovery of our engagement, we wasted no time moving a lot closer than necessary so that we could talk at a level that would not be overhead by others. Not that anyone was watching us directly, but I could tell by the number of coy glances the other students gave us that they were suspecting us of doing something romantic while sharing Kasumi's delicious box lunches.

Not that I care a whit about what they gossip, I just wanted to be with Ranma, to see his face and be able to talk freely with him once again. He looked at me with such a sad expression as though he expected me to hit him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper or something. I wanted more than anything to reassure him that I wasn't blaming him for recent events, even if a good shout might have improved my mood a little. I had to be strong for the both of us, so I reached out and took him by the hand and said, "Don't worry, Ranma…I'm working on a plan to get us out of this. Have a little patience and I think I can get your marriage annulled on a technicality…"

"I wish you wouldn't call it a marriage," Ranma winced, "That's just too weird me being engaged to her because I accidentally beat her in that fight. That can't really be the way they do things in her village!"

"I'm afraid it is," I said sadly, "And by the traditions of her people she's bound to follow them to the ends of the earth, if need be. In your girl form she's out to kill you, while as a guy you're her husband and she's not allowed to let any harm come to you, except if you do something that deserves chastisement, like flirt with another woman."

"Would it be possible to get her mad enough to leave me alone?" Ranma asked, sounding desperate.

"I'm afraid not," I responded, "There's no divorce in their society, you two are bound together until death, unless someone else can make a claim on her that's stronger than your own…"

"Then that's it!" Ranma cried a little too desperately, "We just have to get her interested in some guy and…"

"It's not that simple," I swallowed against a lump in my throat that I tried to ignore as I continued, "Shampoo doesn't get a choice in this at all, it's not up to her who she marries. She's the Champion of her village, so she's bound to marry the strongest male warrior who can defeat her in battle. The fact that you two haven't consummated the matter is the only thing that works in our favor. Until you fully accept her as your wife the matter isn't resolved so long as there is the outside chance that another man can take her away from you."

"So…we just gotta find a guy who'd be willing to fight for her?" Ranma asked more reluctantly, "Well…how hard can that be? I'm sure there's lots of guys who wouldn't mind falling for a cute girl like her, just as long as they…"

"Can defeat her in battle?" I said with just a bit of ire in my voice about that "cute girl" line, "Who do you know who's good enough for that?"

"Well…I…" he hesitated, then I saw him all but deflate as he responded, "You're right, there's nobody that good, not in Nerima anyway, or maybe even Japan. She's the best I've ever gone up against, and from what I've seen from the way she practices…"

I saw him hesitate and I said, "Go on. What about what you've seen? Just how good is she anyway? After all, you did beat her."

"Well yeah, but I was fresh and she'd been fighting all afternoon," Ranma replied, "I'm sure I'd still win if we did the match with both of us well rested and limber, but it wouldn't have been so easy, and she made a stupid mistake underestimating me while I'd seen how she attacked from the sidelines."

"So you had an unfair advantage over her," I considered this point carefully, "I don't suppose she'd accept a rematch to settle the issue of her pride?"

"Yeah, maybe that's the answer!" Ranma sat up again, but almost immediately I saw the light of hope dim in his eyes and he sighed, "But that'd only help my girl form, it wouldn't get me out of this mess, and after the way she ignored everything I said to her last time…"

"Yeah, it does sound pretty lame," I rested my own head on my palms as I leaned forward and considered the matter, "Which brings us back to my original point. In order for someone to take her off of your hands they would have to defeat both her and the prior claimant."

"Prior claimant?" he repeated with that delightfully dull witted look he gives me when I say something that goes completely over his head.

I just sniffed at him and said, "You, dummy. You'd have to lose to whoever beats Shampoo, then he could claim her as his prize and everyone would be happy."

"I'd…have to lose?" I could see him pale as understanding very slowly washed over him like a sunrise, and I knew by that how hard it was for him to even consider losing a fight, let alone to another guy.

"It's the only answer, Saotome," I said as I sat more upright, commanding his attention with my gaze, "Losing a fight will mean losing Shampoo now and for all time. So the way I see things we need to find someone who's good enough to at least put on a good show, then we have to somehow get him to beat Shampoo, then he challenges you and you throw the fight. Think you can do that?"

I think if I had asked him to grow wings or poke out his own eyes it would have been an easier commandment. Every fiber in Ranma's being clenched up as though the concept of taking a dive were the worst crime imaginable. The boy really is incredible at times, and if matters had been less desperate I would have either applauded him or made some sarcastic commentary on the state of his ego, but from the looks of things I realized he needed better motivation.

"I see," I said in my best pout, "In other words you'd rather let her find out the truth so she can come after me, her primary competition. Winning a fight must be a lot more important to you than my personal welfare…"

"That's not true!" Ranma protested, "Your safety is very important to me, Nab-chan! I'd never do anything to endanger you or…"

"You'd just stand there like a man and let her kill me, right?" I asked, deliberately pushing the buttons I knew would most upset him, "I know you're reluctant to fight against a woman so you probably won't be able to lift a finger in my defense when she comes at me…"

"No!" Ranma insisted, frustration evident in his features as he fought a silent war for several long, tense seconds, then finally said, "If that's what it takes to protect you, then I'll…"

That was when we felt the first in a series of tremors. It was like a shaking of the table against my elbows, followed shortly after by a second tremor that was accompanied by an explosion, and then another tremor after that, by which point I'd realized that it wasn't an earthquake and it was getting much, much closer. The sounds increased in loudness and it seemed as if the explosions were coming ever closer. It took several of them in sequence before I realized what they were, by which point the nearby wall to the study hall up and exploded in an all-too-familiar manner.

Ranma and I jumped back as the dust cleared to reveal Shampoo, large as life and standing in a cute Chinese dress that barely came down to the top of her thighs. As I was making this assessment on her lack of fashion modesty I took note of the large covered platter in her hands as smiled at Ranma with her typical greeting of, "Nihao, Airen."

"Sh-Shampoo?" my iinazuke gasped intelligently, "What are you doing here? Didn't I tell you to wait at home…"

Shampoo just made a note of amused indulgence as she stepped forward and said, "Shampoo come make lunch for Airen like dutiful wife. You like Shampoo cooking, Shampoo best in village!"

"Could you at least have used the door?" I asked with barely restrained patience, seeing the line of destroyed walls that marked her path of destruction, which I noted had not been made by her Bonbori this time.

"Hmph," Shampoo turned a red-eyed glance in my direction, "What you do with Airen, nosy girl? You very familiar…"

"I'm tutoring Ranma in his lessons," I answered as calmly and levelly as a person in my position could manage when facing mortal peril, "This is a school you know, a place for study."

"What's going on here?" I heard Akane demand as she and one of her friends appeared down the hallway, "Our teacher sent us out to investigate and-YOU?"

Shampoo turned the level heat of her stare towards her new quarry and said, "What you want, angry girl? Go away and no bother Shampoo, she here to feed lunch to Airen."

"Akane," Ranma urged my sister to restrain herself as we could both see Akane was bristling at Shampoo's statement, then Ranma gallantly stepped forward and said, "I'd love to see what you made for me, Shampoo. I'll bet it's delicious."

"Aiya!" Shampoo brightened at his show of attention and uncovered her platter as she declared, "Is sweet and sour pork served Canton style with special trimmings. You like?"

I didn't hear much of what the bimbo said beyond that point because I was too busy reacting like all the others to the sight of the tiny black pig laying smothered among the garnishes and trimmings with a layer of sauce atop him. Ryoga.

"Gaaah!" Akane cried out in horror as she dove at the platter and scooped the pig into her arms, crying, "P-CHAN! What has she done to you, baby?"

Shampoo was only a fraction of a second slow to react to this, and then she snatched Ryoga out of Akane's arms as though she were stealing a soccer ball and growled, "Is not for you! Is for Airen," the latter part she said with a smile as she extended Ryoga at the end of a pair of chopsticks.

"Ah, just a minute, please?' Ranma pleaded as he took Ryoga into his arms and began to slap the pig in an effort to revive him, murmuring tightly at barely the level of a whisper, "C'mon, Ryoga, snap out of it! You can't be dead, I know you better than that!"

I could not help detecting a note of real concern in Ranma's voice. Apparently whatever rivalry they had was mostly felt on Ryoga's part as Ranma still thought of him as a friend in spite of his recent actions. Sure enough the pig did revive, looking at Ranma with bleary little eyes, and then all at once he snapped at Ranma, biting his arm as though not understanding that he was being rescued.

I'm sure Shampoo was thoroughly confused by all of this, but she noted how swiftly Akane appeared at Ranma's side and I saw her expression darken. The fact that Akane's concern was actually directed at Ryoga was missed entirely in the blaze of her jealous anger. I saw her step forward and I tensed, afraid that Shampoo was about to attack my baby sister.

Instead what she did was reach out to turn Akane's head partway towards her then leaned forward and planted a kiss on her cheek. I stood there in confusion for a moment until I caught Ranma's horrified expression.

Then I remembered: the Kiss of Death! This was what Shampoo had done to him in her village and now she had just given it to Akane as a pledge to hunt her down and kill her!

In confirmation of our worst fear Shampoo withdrew with an evil look and said, "Womans what interfere are obstacles, and obstacles are for killing. You stand in Shampoo's way, you enemy."

Akane recovered from her surprise and angrily declared, "Fine! On behalf of the Tendo School of Anything Goes Martial Arts I accept your challenge and will meet you in battle!"

"What?" Ranma and I declared together, and then he stepped forward to try and dissuade her with his usual bluntness, "Are you nuts? A slowpoke like you can't go up against her…!"

Even I could see that Ranma had pushed her too far, and by stepping in too near to her reach he left himself wide open to a punch that he would normally have dodged with ease as Akane whirled around and struck Ranma a solid blow that sent him flying out the far window.

"Butt out of it!" Akane angrily declared, "No one asked you for your opinion!"

I thought surely Shampoo would punish her on the spot for striking her man but instead she glowered and said, "You want to fight? We go now!"

With that she turned and headed out the way she had come, with Akane swift on her heals, still holding onto a squealing Ryoga. I was left to stand where I was feeling pretty left out of the whole mess until Ranma came vaulting back in through the window to declare, "Stupid tomboy, you want to get yourself killed? You can't fight against Shampoo, she'll kill-where'd she go?"

Several students, including me, pointed to the opening gap, then I broke free of my befuddlement and said, "Take me with you, Ranma! She's my sister!"

"All right," Ranma nodded to me, "Just hold on and get ready."

I knew what to expect this time, but it still took my breath away when he swept me up into his arms and began to carry me like a suburban Tarzan through the corridors and several walls, then vaulting out with a powerful leap that made my heart jump into my mouth as I saw the ground fall away below us as though he were Superman and my name was Lois. There's something about seeing your life flash before your eyes several times in rapid succession that really gets the pulse pounding.

I'm sure he could have made better time without me, but I doubted if Shampoo would have gone far to carry out her vengeance. Sure enough as we passed by the soccer fields we heard a familiar telltale squeal and recognized the frantic voice as belonging to Ryoga. With yet another physics-defying leap Ranma carried us both over a high fence and onto the field where we found Akane laying peacefully on her back with Ryoga pawing her with a plaintive urgency that was heartfelt.

"Akane!" Ranma cried as he set me down on my less-than-steady legs then bent over her to try and gently slap her cheeks to restore consciousness. I joined him as best I was able and almost immediately saw Akane's eyes begin to flutter open. She appeared to be unhurt but I was not ready to write off the possibility of injury just yet as I could hardly believe that Shampoo would merely overpower her without inflicting serious damage.

"Akane, are you all right?" I asked.

"Oneechan?" Akane appeared confused as she slowly sat upright, feeling her head as she said, "I feel…strange…"

"Are you hurt anywhere?" Ranma asked, "Did Shampoo do anything to hurt you?"

Very slowly Akane turned her head his way and asked, "Do I know you?"

"Huh?" Ranma blinked, then he frowned and said, "Very funny. I guess you're mad at me for letting Shampoo do this…"

"Shampoo," Akane turned away from him and frowned slightly, "We were facing each other…that's all I can remember. I attacked, she leaped and then…" she frowned more deeply, "I don't remember anything beyond that."

"Could be a mild concussion," I ventured, "We'd better have Doctor Tofu have a look at you, Imoutochan. You might be injured in a place where only he can find it."

"Doctor Tofu?" Akane frowned, "Why would I need to bother him? I feel just fine, Nabiki. In fact I feel almost…refreshed…"

"Hah?" Ranma blinked, "You're not eager to see him? Now I know you must be brain damaged!"

"Do I know you?" Akane frowned more intensely, and then her expression grew lighter, "Are you a friend of my sister's? Nabiki doesn't have too many friends, and it'd be nice if she got some attention…"

I honestly don't know what was upsetting me more at that point: Akane's friendly tone towards Ranma or her crack about me needing a boyfriend! Ranma also reacted to this statement as if Akane had slapped him.

"Cut it out, you're scaring me!" Ranma protested, "It ain't funny anymore…"

"Excuse me, but have we been introduced?" Akane's look was now more that of puzzlement, "You don't look that familiar…"

"Don't you remember him at all, Akane?" I asked as I stepped closer to examine her forehead, "Ranma is my iinazuke!"

"You…have an iinazuke?" Akane's face brightened, "That's wonderful, Oneechan! Dad will be so happy, and I know Kasumi will be so proud of you…"

About that point the other kids from Furinkan showed up with the usual questions about what they had missed, but at the moment Ranma and I were more concerned with the fact that Akane responded to their calls with a perfectly normal return greeting. In fact her behavior and memories seemed just fine in all other respects…she just could not remember Ranma!

This fact became apparent to the others when Akane asked who "that guy" was who was standing right next to her, and after some blank looks and puzzled expressions our fellow students tried to tell her what they knew about Ranma, the guy who'd been staying at our place for almost two months now. It was really incredible. Every time she heard his name she immediately forgot him, then she started complaining about headaches for a brief moment, after which she straightened out and seemed to start misremembering his name, confusing him with Ranko, the Ginsue Knife provider and even a song by an American rock band! I think I even heard her use the name Ran for that Kurusawa movie that adapted a Shakespeare play. It was as if her mind were wired to deliberately avoid the name, or anything else to do with Ranma!

That was when Ranma and I exchanged looks, then Ranma looked down at the little pig at his feet and picked Ryoga up into his arms saying, "You're coming with me, Ryoga. We need some answers."

"Hey!" Akane protested, "What are you doing with P-chan? Who are you?"

"Don't worry, Akane," I said, "He won't hurt your pet pig, we just want some answers."

"Answers?" Akane looked at me as though I were the one having problems, "P-chan can't talk! What are you…"

"No time for explanations," Ranma said and vaulted onto the roof of the nearest building, heading off back towards the main building. I had a pretty good hunch where they would wind up and excused myself from Akane's side then hurried along to stop by the school kitchen to snag a pot of hot water, then I met Ranma in the equipment locker where he held the squirming P-chan by the scarf at arms length..

I smiled as I held up the pot, then Ranma set Ryoga down and I poured the water on him, changing him back to his naked boy form and watched with detached amusement as he covered himself up, all too conscious of my presence.

"All right, Ryoga," Ranma said forcefully, "Talk. What did you see? What did Shampoo do to Akane to make her forget all about me?"

"Nice try, Ranma," Ryoga snorted, "As if I'd help a creep like you by forcing Akane to remember you and the way you've been tormenting her."

"Aren't you just a little bit concerned that Shampoo may have done something more than just make her forget about him?" I asked, "I thought you cared about Akane…"

"I do!" Ryoga looked at me resentfully, "But I don't see how forcing her to remember him is in any way helping her. Don't forget I've seen how she frets every time they have an argument, and he's not even her iinazuke! It makes me sick, I tell you…"

"Look Ryoga," Ranma said, "I don't care if the tomboy remembers me or not, but I do care that Shampoo may have hurt her on account of me, so unless you tell us now what you saw…"

"You'll what?" Ryoga scoffed, "I'm not afraid of you, Ranma, and your girlfriend doesn't have any leverage over me like she does with you, so you can't force me to cooperate…"

"Oh no?" I said in my most ominous tones, "Are you really so sure about that? Think carefully, Pig-boy, before you dismiss the kind of resources that are at my disposal."

Ranma caught my eye and smiled. He, too, had heard the sound of the approaching gym class jogging in our direction and now he turned to slide open the corrugated tin door partway then stepped partway outside and said, "Hey, girls! You wanna see something really funny-looking? Check this out!"

I walked up to Ranma side and put on my best promising smile and said, "Yeah, girls, you won't believe this until we show you…"

"I'll talk! I'll talk!" Ryoga cried out in a blind panic, so we closed the doors on some very confused looking female athletes then turned with mutual smiles at Ryoga that as much as promised that we would fling the doors wide open should he even think of holding out on us any longer.

Of course then the pig proceeded to explain to us that the last thing he had seen was the bottom of Shampoo's feet as the girl had vaulted right over Akane's head when my sister had blindly charged her, landing right on Ryoga's head and knocking him cold for several critical instants. We left him in disgust and fetched Akane over to Doctor Tofu's for a quick diagnosis.

It was several moments after this that Tofu-Sensei gave his diagnosis that Akane had been the victim of something called the Xi Fang Gao Shiatsu pressure point memory technique, a legendary system by which a person's mind could be altered by manipulating the nerve centers of the scalp to cause the victim to selectively forget all about whatever the manipulator wishes them to forget. In effect it re-routs the neural passages of the brain around some isolated nerve clusters, and don't even ask me to explain what that means as I'm just repeating what I was told.

It was a fortunate thing that Ranma's father showed up about that time to provide his own eyewitness account, which proved to be more reliable than Ryoga's once we applied hot water to his furry carcass. To hear him tell it Shampoo attacked Akane from behind, only it was more like she gave her a quick salon job, actually washing, combing and drying out her hair in the space of five seconds! I don't know if I can believe that, but what I do know for sure is that the results of this technique are undeniably effective. Akane can't remember a thing about Ranma and ever time she sees him she asks who it is that's staying in our dojo.

Okay, so that's not the worst thing where she's concerned, but this incident firmed in my mind that the situation with Shampoo has just gone beyond intolerable to outrageous, so I convened a party of war with both Ranma and Ryoga to inform them in no uncertain terms that it was my intention to get rid of the annoying nuisance before she does something that I'll really regret. I had already formulated my plan of attack, and when I explained it to them they were understandably appalled. It's desperate and it's dangerous and will require both of their cooperation to carry out. Each boy expressed his doubts and concerns that the plan would even be successful, especially when I told them who I was planning to recruit in order to insure success of its execution.

"Are you sure about this?" Ranma asked me with blunt concern in his voice and expression, "I mean…I know it's drastic, but…"

"Would you rather I use the backup plan?" I asked, looking directly at Ryoga, "You could let Ryoga beat you once in a fight, then I'm pretty sure I could arrange for her to lose to him and…"

"B-but…that would mean I'd be her husband," Ryoga quailed, "And Akane…"

"Exactly," I told them both in my most no-nonsense tone of voice, "Which is why it has to be done this way if we're going to be successful at all. Now, I'm going alone, so neither one of you try and stop me or follow me because this has to be handled delicately, and I know her better than either of you."

"But…Kodachi?" Ranma paled, "You really think she can help us?"

"I know she'll help you when I explain your situation," I replied, "And she's the only other martial artist in Nerima who has the necessary skills we need to pull this off, unless either of you has a better suggestion?"

They both hemmed and hawed at that, and for once Ranma and Ryoga exchanged looks that implied they were in total agreement that this was a very bad idea, but neither one of them could think of anything better. Truth to tell I don't blame the boys for being worried as my plan entails no little risk on my part, but I'm ready to do anything it takes to get rid of Shampoo, even up to and including using lethal means to extract her from these premises.

I can take only so much, after all. Stealing my boyfriend, threatening our lives, destroying property, tearing up my house and causing a general disruption of our lives are things I'm growing accustomed to since having Ranma and his father around, but NO ONE messes with my sister! That is one line nobody should ever cross, and now it's war between me and Shampoo. One of us has to go, and it's not going to be me, by the kami!

This is my house, my family, my Ranma and my baby sister. Shampoo had better watch out, because your days are numbered, you purple-haired strumpet! I'll be rid of you yet or my name isn't Tendo Nabiki!

Continued

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