Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Aa! Megami-sensei! ❯ Media Blitz! part 1 ( Chapter 4 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]
Imported From: RAAC
falcon@best.com (Peter L. Ward)

Aa! Megami-sensei!

by Peter Ward

Episode 5: Media Blitz! Part 2


Recap: Urd has her hands full for her second day on the job as Furinkan
high's new chemistry teacher. Not only did Skuld tag along to see what kind
of school would hire her, but Urd has to deal with Kanzaki Hibiki, a
reporter with CNN Tokyo, and his assistant Nakajima Aya, who were assigned
to report on how human and alien students were getting along in school. Add
to that the fact that Joat-mon Kil'tar decided to improvise on the day's
experiments using molecular acid, and anyone could see that a more-chaotic-
than-usual day is brewing at Furinkan high...


"Oh, great, that reporter is heading this way!"

"Relax, Buffy." Nabiki said to Buffy as Hibiki and Aya made their way
towards them. "You don't want to deal with the press? No problem...just
leave everything to me!"

The two reporters came up to the table and resumed their footage. "Here we
have another mixed group of humans and aliens working together on their
assignments. In fact, from what I understand, one of the ladies here is the
daughter of the lost Japanese astronaut, Amano Hikaru! Amano Buffy, can we
get your impression of your father's homeworld..."

"Excuse me, Mr. Kanzaki." Nabiki interrupted. "Miss Amano's time is quite
valuable and limited. I'm her acting agent, Tendo Nabiki, and I'm sure we
can arrange an interview for, say, 50,000 yen perhaps?"

"Um, er, well..." Hibiki stammered, taken aback by Nabiki's statement and
the price tag involved.

"I'm sure you'll find a free interview with me, the school's kendo club
captain, the rising young star of the kendo world, the Blue Thunder of
Furinkan high, to be much more reasonable!" Kuno cut in. "I, Kuno
Tatewaki, will grant you that interview. You will verily find me to be
much more fascinating than anyone else on campus..."

While Kuno kept Hibiki's and Aya's attention, Suzie motioned Nabiki and
Buffy to lean in closer to her. "Hey, since Mr. Full-of-himself has that
reporter occupied, I was thinking. We have to keep these reporters away
from Ranma! Can you guys imagine what kind of a field day those two would
have if they found out his secret?"

"That's right!" Buffy nearly spoke up. "There'll be no end to the
attention the press would give him! Sure, Ranma's in a different classroom,
but if those reporters catch Ranma in the middle of a transformation..."

"Okay, I'll leave it up to you guys to help keep them occupied, as if Kuno
needed any help in that department." Nabiki said. "I'll see if I can get
Urd-sensei to let me out so I can go warn Ranma and Akane about the
reporters. Sensei!"

"Yes, Miss Tendo?" Urd called out as she saw Nabiki's raised hand.

"Permission to use the restroom, sensei?"

"I know you're not going anywhere near a restroom, Miss Tendo. Go ahead
since you think it's so urgent."

"Thanks, sensei!" Nabiki called out as she left the room and went down the
hallway. As she passed Minoru and Tetsuo standing holding buckets of water,
as well as Joat-mon starting his chore of washing the windows, she called
out, "Have fun, boys!"

"Go ahead and rub it in, Nabiki! We don't care!" Joat-mon yelled back as
she turned a corner.

Soon, Nabiki made her way to Ranma and Akane's classroom and gently knocked
on the door. "Excuse me?" she said as she opened the door and looked in.
"Hinako-sensei? May I speak with my sister and her fiance? It's pretty
urgent."

Hinako looked up from the english lesson she was teaching and said "Okay,
but make it quick!"

As Ranma and Akane made their way out into the hallway, Nabiki said "Ranma,
you're going to have to be really careful around water today!"

"Why?" he asked. "Does it have anything to do with girls popping out of
hot-water kettles or something?"

"Huh? I don't know what you're talking about, but the reason why I'm
telling you this is that there's a reporter from CNN covering our class
today."

"So? Why should I be worried? After all, it's your class that's being
covered, not ours." Ranma replied.

"Sure, but what if they catch you transforming on camera? Are you sure you
want that to end up on national TV, let alone international or intergalactic
TV?"

"That wouldn't be good, Nabiki." Akane said. "It'd end up like something
out of a tabloid!"

"Exactly!" Nabiki confirmed. "Besides, we don't want certain people to find
out about that little secret, like Auntie Saotome..."

"Alright, I get the point!" Ranma spat out, visions of seppuku involving
him, his father, and his mother flashing in his head. "I'll be careful!"

"Good! After all, it's hard to get money back from a corpse!" Nabiki said
as she turned to leave. "Buffy, Suzie, and I will help keep that reporter
occupied, but you'll still need to be careful. If those cameras of theirs
should catch certain scenes..."

"Okay! I think that's long enough!" Hinako called out as she stepped out
into the hallway. "Mr. Saotome, Miss Tendo Akane, get back in here! Miss
Tendo Nabiki, go back to your class before I report you for playing hooky!"

"Yes, sensei! See you third period!" Nabiki called back as she headed back
for the chemistry labs.

While Nabiki had been relaying the warning to Ranma, and Kuno still tied
down the reporters with his opinions of himself, Skuld made her way to the
table where Kiddy, Michiko, and Billie sat, trying to complete their
experiments without Joat-mon. When she got there there, she grabbed Kiddy's
ruined cyberdeck and started to examine it closely.

"Hey, what are you doing with my deck?" Kiddy asked, suprised to see a
little girl standing next to them.

"Hmmmmmm....the acid didn't eat away at the main logic chips, so we won't
have to replace those or most of the sub-processors." Skuld said, not
acknowledging the others. "However, the memory control circuits were wiped
out, along with part of the memory itself....not to mention the numeric
keypad. I can't do anything about the casing...you'll have to take it in
for replacement. Other than that..." Leaving her train of thought at that,
she grabbed a piece of paper out of Billie's open notebook and started to
draw out a series of technical illustrations with blinding speed.

Several seconds later, she held up the blueprints to the trio, who was
watching with amazement. "Think you can assemble this? It's a work-around
for the ruined components of the cyberdeck. By my figures, it should also
improve the deck's performance by 25% by optimizing the memory
configuration."

While the other two were staring at the plans, Billie managed to say
"Uhhhh...yeah, I think we could, if we had the parts...half those parts I've
never seen in my life, though. And I spent half of my life around mecha
assembly lines!"

"Ooops!" Skuld said. "Let me heat up some water here and I'll see if I have
them lying around my room! By the way, I'm Skuld, 'Urd-sensei's' sister!
I already heard your names, by the way, so no need to introduce yourselves."

"Ummm...nice to meet you Skuld!" Michiko managed at last, while watching a
beaker of water heating over a bunsen burner that Skuld set up. "We didn't
know that Urd-sensei had a sister. Then again, there isn't much we know
about her...oh, your water's getting pretty warm."

"Thanks, Michiko!" Skuld said as she crawled up on the table. "I'll be back
in a few minutes, so keep that water warm. Oh, do I have a few stories
about sis that I'll have to tell you! Later!"

With a smirk, Skuld lept into the water and disappeared in front of them as
they stared.

"Whoa! First, the mindreading, then yesterday's lightning strike, and now
teleportation." Kiddy mused. "I guess this clinches it, Urd-sensei and
anyone else in her family aren't human."

"Well, it's a start, partner." Michiko replied with a smile. "Of course,
with those stories Skuld promised, I think our first column this year will
be a doozy."

While the three were looking over the beaker full of warm water, Nabiki
walked back into the room and slipped back to her table unnoticed. Not to
her suprise, Kuno was still bragging about himself to the two reporters,
who were trying to get far away from him.

"Okay, guys," Nabiki whispered, "I passed the word to Ranma and Akane, so
they know to look out. Now, we're going to have to do our part. Kuno can't
hold them forever, even though he'd like to. Any ideas?"

"Well, if that old pervert showed his face around here today, we'd certainly
have something to show them..." Buffy said with a hint of malice.

"Yes, but I don't think we can cover the whole day with that, fun as it may
be for you." Nabiki replied. "I think we'll just have to come up with
several distractions to use. Hate to say this, Buffy, but I think a good
one would be an interview with you."

"I was afraid of that." Buffy sighed. "Anyway, let's wrap the assignment up
while we still can. Hate to start the year with an F. Hey, Kuno! I know
you're in the middle of a fascinating interview, but we've gotta finish this
up! If you're not going to, I'll make you" she finished with an evil grin.

As Kuno snorted and turned back to the assignment, the reporters scurried
away and Skuld popped back out of her beaker with a bag. As soon as she got
back down on the floor, she opened up the bag and dumped out a small pile of
exotic electronics on the table. "Here, this is what I managed to find.
They should be what you need to fix the deck."

"And that's all you're giving them." Urd finished for Skuld as she walked up
to the workbench. "Nice to see that you're sharing things, but you're not
going to be sharing those stories of yours today. I told you to stay out of
trouble!"

"Awwww...afraid I'm going to embarrass you in front of your students, dear
sister?" Skuld replied as she headed back for her seat by the window.
"Sorry guys, maybe another time?"

"Ummmm...yeah, if we get the chance!" Michiko replied, still managing a
smile.

"Okay, students, back to work. The period'll be over soon, so you'll have
to wrap things up! Leave your papers in the 'in' basket once you're done."

At the end of the period, everyone turned in their complete, or incomplete
in some cases, assignments and headed back to their regular classroom while
Urd remained behind to prepare for the next period and to keep Skuld in
line during her uninvited stay.

Second period went pretty smooth with the reporters in class, but things
were a bit bumpy during third period...

"You're the teacher for this class?!"

"That's right, Mr. Kanzaki! I'm Minomiya Hinako-sensei, and I don't like
having my classes disrupted. Do we understand each other?"

Hibiki and Aya were taken aback by what they saw as a 12-year-old girl
before them. They couldn't figure out how to deal with her, especially
since she was acting hyper while talking tough. While most of the longtime
students were grinning and snickering at the reporters' predicament, the new
students empathized with the pair. They were still trying to come to terms
with a teacher that looked way younger than they were most of the time.

"Um, sure...we won't cause any trouble. We'll, uh, stand back in the corner
and just tape quietly. No problem." Hibiki said with a faltering voice as
he took Aya to the back of the room.

As they made their way back, Nabiki caught their attention and waved them
over to where she sat. "Say, guys, how long are you going to be here
anyway?"

"Until lunchtime, I think." Hibiki replied. "I figure we'll have enough
footage in the classroom by then. We'll just have interviews with some of
the teachers, then we'll have to go prepare the story in the studios. By
the way, you sure you don't want to lower those fees for an interview with
Miss Amano? I mean, they're awfully steep..."

"Okay, let me consult with Miss Amano and we'll get back to you next period,
okay?"

"Okay, but just remember that we're leaving at lunch!"

As the two continued on back, Nabiki turned towards Buffy and whispered,
"Okay, if you don't mind, I'm going to set up an interview on the way to the
teachers' lounge. That way, we'll keep the reporters occupied until they
get there. Less risk of them getting sidetracked by certain scenes."

"Gotcha. I don't like dealing with the media, especially with how they
crowded all around me when I first came here. However, since I did promise
to help Ranma keep his secret, I'll do it."

"Good. It's especially crucial since odds are that Shampoo's going to pay
a visit as well, along with god knows who else. Don't need attracting the
reporters' attention."

Nabiki had to cut off the conversation at that point, since Hinako was
calling the class to attention so she could start the day's lessons. The
rest of the morning went by without a hitch. Even Joat-mon, having finished
his disciplinary chore of washing the windows, kept relatively well-behaved
so he could avoid one of Hinako's aura drains.

During that time, Nabiki made the arrangements for the interview and even
lowering the fee down to 5000 yen (suprising even herself), which was split
two ways between herself and Buffy. When lunch rolled around, the two
reporters wound up with an escort of Buffy, Nabiki, and Suzie while they
walked down the hall towards the teachers' lounge.

"So, Miss Amano, it's early in the school year, but do you think earth's
schools provide enough of a challenge for you?"

Buffy thought a bit about Hibiki's question, then answered, "In a lot of
ways, yes, they would. I mean, I'm not exactly a genius, but I think I can
deal with the classes here. The PE sessions are a bit wimpy for my taste,
though. Then again, us Hakane are on the strong side and we make martial
arts training a way of life, unlike most humans. Luckily, thanks to my
friend Nabiki here, I was able to find a dojo in the area where I could
continue my training."

As they walked down the hallway, approaching Ranma's and Akane's classroom,
Nabiki was thinking, "Okay, so far so good. If Shampoo doesn't come in the
next couple of minutes, we'll be all clear!"

Nabiki's hopes were dashed when the sound of a wall being smashed down
echoed through the hallway from the classroom. As Hibiki's and Aya's well-
honed reflexes got them ready to cover a possible emergency, Suzie bounded
into the classroom, shouting "I'll see what it is...you guys stay put!"

As Suzie leaped into the classroom, she saw the hole in the wall near where
Ranma and Akane were sitting, and a purple-haired girl in Chinese clothing
standing in it holding a pair of what looked like oversized metal rattles.
She also happened to notice a sprinkler above Ranma starting to spurt from
the damage caused by whatever bashed in the wall.

In two bounds, Suzie managed to cross the distance between herself and the
three, and shoved Ranma out of the way of the spraying water. Luckily, she
was in time and Ranma remained a male as the cameras started rolling.

Unfortunately, Ranma was caught by suprise by all of this and wasn't
prepared for Suzie's presence, especially with how close they ended up
being. Ranma ended up screaming his lungs out and rushed for a corner of
the room.

"Sorry about that, Ranma, but you were told to be careful around water
today. Wish I was so lucky...now my fur's going to be matted all afternoon
thanks to that girl..."

As Suzie turned around to face the strange girl, she found herself facing
one of those clubs as it was being held steady towards her.

"You there. You try steal my Ranma, cat girl? Shampoo not like that!"

"And I don't like it when someone tries to break up a friend's engagement"
Suzie said as she jumped on top of the metal club that Shampoo was holding.
"So why don't you go along and leave everybody alone, okay?"

"You not scare Shampoo, cat girl. Besides, Ranma mine by tribal law."

"Yeah, right. As far as I'm concerned, he's Akane's, not yours." Suzie
growled, preparing to take a swipe at Shampoo.

"You know lot. Too bad it crazy girl story, not truth!" Shampoo said as she
swung the other club so as to catch Suzie inbetween the two clubs. Suzie
leapt clear and the club being swung was caught by someone else.

"Who you? Why you interfere?"

"I'm Amano Buffy, and from one amazon to another, it's not nice to steal
other girls' fiances" Buffy said as she took a firm hold of the club she
grabbed and swung it and Shampoo around and back towards the hole in the
wall. Shampoo recovered nicely and landed on her feet at the ledge she
made.

"Amano Buffy, Shampoo not forget this. You watch out." With that, Shampoo
leaped out the hole and went on her way.

A second after Shampoo left, a tall boy with long hair and a white Chinese
robe jumped into the room and tightly embraced Suzie. "Shampoo! I will
win you from Saotome yet!"

While Suzie and Buffy stood there, confused by the stranger, Akane walked
up and slapped his glasses (which were perched on top of his head) down
into position.

"Huh?", the boy said with confusion.

"As you can see, Mousse, Shampoo isn't even here." an irritated Akane said.

"Who are you? What are you?!" Mousse asked Suzie, not paying attention to
Akane.

Before Suzie could answer, Hinako stormed into the room, followed by Urd and
Skuld. "You again? When are you going to learn not to damage school
property?" With that, she whipped out a five-yen coin and held it in
Mousse's direction. While Suzie was able to leap clear, Mousse found
himself drained of all energy.

As Mousse lay on the floor, Buffy stepped up and said, "Excuse me, Hinako-
sensei? Mousse here didn't cause the damage. I think he was chasing after
the girl who did."

"And where is she, Miss Amano?" Urd asked.

"Ummm...she went out the hole in the wall..." Buffy said sheepishly,
remembering that she was the one that allowed Shampoo to get away.

"Okay, I think we can handle it from here." Urd said in resignation.
"Buffy, Suzie, Nabiki, got back to your room. Hinako and I will take...
Mousse...here over to the detention room. Hibiki, Aya, sorry about the
disruption..."

Urd's voice trailed off as she realized that the two reporters were staring
at Hinako's now-adult form. "Right. If you two will come with me, I think
Hinako will take care of our little visitor, right Hinako?"

"Right...he's not so bad now, is he?" Hinako said, picking Mousse up and
slinging him over one shoulder.

"Guess not." Urd replied, not knowing anything about Mousse in the first
place. "Anyway, if you two will follow me, I think we'll wrap up your
visit here."

As she stepped out into the hallway, Urd quickly took Skuld aside. "Now you
see why I didn't want you picking a fight with Hinako this morning?"

"Alright, sis, I get the point." Skuld muttered as she trailed behind Urd.
"If it'll make you happy, I'm also willing to admit that you're doing better
at this job than I thought you would, okay?"

"Why, thank you, Skuld...I think that's the nicest thing you've said to me
in a long time."

"Well, don't expect me to let up on you, sis. Someone's gotta keep an eye
on you to make sure you don't screw things up too bad. Might as well be me,
right?"

"What? Me screw up? Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Ohh...I dunno. Letting Joat-mon get access to the molecular acid today
would be a good indicator of how much you'd screw things up."

"Wait a minute! That wasn't my fault, you brat! I don't even have the
stuff stored in the lab! And who invited you over here anyway?"

While the two sisters squabbled, Hibiki and Aya followed from a distance,
with Aya looking back and forth between Hibiki and the two sisters.

"You know, Hibiki, maybe covering the flower festival isn't such a bad idea
after all." Aya said weakly.

"Naaaa. Sure, this place is crazy. I wouldn't have it any other way."
Hibiki said with a grin. "If we play our cards right, we'll have regular
work for the next year. That is, assuming the students or faculty don't
demolish the place during that time. My gut instinct says that this is
only the start."

"It wouldn't have anything to do with good-looking women on the teaching
staff, would it?" Aya asked in annoyance.

"No comment, Aya. Anyway, after this last interview, let's grab a bite to
eat then head back to the studios. I think we have some interesting
material for tonight's story."

That evening, the temple was a bit busier than usual, since not only were
the three sisters and Keiichi were there to watch the news story, but so
were Megumi, the Nekomi Tech Motor Club, and Hinako, all of whom were
invited over by Urd to watch the story.

"All right Urd!" Tamiya yelled, leading the club members in a round of cat-
calls and cheering as the story came to a close.

"Yeah, they made me look good, didn't they?" Urd asked out loud, relieved at
how everything turned out.

"You're not the only one who looked good!" Hinako said, elbowing Urd. "They
got some good footage of me in action."

"Yeah, I noticed that Hibiki got some good footage of you all right!" Urd
said with a wink. "That reminds me, I'm going to have to have a little talk
with Buffy tomorrow morning. Seems she didn't mention her throwing that
girl out the wall at lunch."

"There'll be plenty of time for that, Urd." Belldandy cut in. "Dinner's
just about ready, and there's plenty for everyone!"

As the mass of people crowded towards the kitchen, Skuld called out "Big
sis! Did you get more ice cream? We were pretty low this morning."

"Gee, I wonder why?" Urd teased.

"Don't worry, Skuld, I got plenty since we were having guests!"

"Oh, goody!" Hinako yelled out, cutting in front of everyone. "I love ice
cream!"

"Just wait until after dinner, Hinako-sensei." Belldandy said to the eager
young girl.

"Yeah, and make sure you leave plenty for the rest of us!" Skuld said as
she came up beside Hinako.

"You mean, leave plenty for yourself, Skuld?" Urd said, not resisting the
tempation to get in another shot.

As everyone at the temple got ready to eat and celebrate Urd's new job, a
TV was switched off in another household.

"Well, now, this would explain why Urd hasn't been to Nekomi Tech the past
couple of days." Mishima Sayoko said thoughtfully. "Wonder how she became
a teacher all of a sudden?"

"Probably forged some credentials or something." Marller responded. "And
I thought us demons had the corner on that market. Heh. With her occupied
with those schoolkids, taking care of Belldandy will be so much easier."

"But Keiichi will be so heartbroken." Dorllir said sadly. "I'll have to be
there to help cheer him up when Belldandy has to leave."

"There she goes again about Keiichi." Marller thought to herself. "Don't
know what she sees in that loser." After a moment of further thought, she
said out loud "Wait a second. Belldandy won't be our only target! Urd
just left hereself a sitting duck! If we ladies come up with a plan, I
think we can not only cost Urd her job, but I think we can get her tossed
off of Nekomi Tech's campus for good as well. The other two sisters will
follow like dominoes if we do this right..."


Next Episode: This Little Piggy Went to a Temple...


Author's notes:

- Yes, that's little Dorllir making a cameo towards the end there. In case
you're not familiar with the character, she's an original creation of Larry
Mann and Ryan Matthews and was featured in the story "The Green-Eyed
Monster", another Aa! Megamisama fanfic. She might appear in the Aa! Megami-
sensei fanfics in the future, as well as a side story or two I may come up
with to deal with Marller and Sayoko's attempts to deal with Belldandy and
Keiichi on the NIT campus.

- I'll be taking a slight break (maybe a week or so) between this episode
and the next so I can not only update the WWW Urd Shrine (http://www.best.
com/~falcon/urdhome.htm), but add a section to it that'll be an archive for
this fanfic series as well as a who's who of the characters (including some
illustrations). It'll also have fanfics from other authors. It should be
ready in a week or two. (as I write this on 11/28/95). Once that's done,
among other things, I should be ready to move on with the story. It
shouldn't take long, though.


All Aa! Megamisama and Ranma 1/2 characters copyright Fujishima Kosuke and
Takahashi Rumiko, respectively. All other characters copyright Peter Ward,
Tim Dunn, Tim Holt, "Snafu", and Ray Yeen.

E-mail all comments, suggestions, etc. to falcon@best.com. They're always
welcome...even the flames to a certain extent ^^;




Peter L. Ward falcon@best.com Kyusaku on IRC #Anime!
Caretaker of the Urd Shrine (http://www.best.com/~falcon/urdhome.htm)

"YAY, KEIICHI!! If you lose your race, you're DEAD MEAT!!" - Urd