Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ A Church in Soul Society?? ❯ A Church in Soul Society?? ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

 

“Renji”

 

“Ukitake”

 

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Captain Ukitake walked down the corridor. He had a little a chat with John Paul II and he was delighted to help him. He walked into his office to find Renji and Ichigo lounging on his couch.

John Paul II used to the pope in the Vatican in Rome. He thought it would be a great idea to build the first Catholic Church in Soul Society. He invited Ukitake to have a drink of sacramental wine with him and talked it over. The ex-pope wanted to preach Catholicism to Soul Society.

 

 

Ukitake hired Ichigo and Renji to think up some slogans to attract the citizens of Rukongai to be regular churchgoers. They studied Christianity and Catholicism back when they were at Karakura high school during History class. They agreed seeing as they were so bored now days. Ukitake sat down in his chair.

 

 

“Well gentlemen, let's see what you got for me today. I'm terribly sorry that the pope isn't here in person to see this, but I will replace him.”

 

 

“Che…about time old man!” Ichigo got up from his chair and pointed his finger of doom at the captain.

 

 

“Shut up man! You can't talk that way to a Captain!” Renji gave him a noogie.

 

 

“I can't talk anyway I want! You got a problem, SCRIBBLIY BROWS!”

 

 

“YEAH I GOTTA PROBLEM, SHUT THE FUCK UP! AND DON'T DIS MY TATOOS!!!”

 

 

“Enough boys, lets get this thing over with, I got a lot of reports to finish after”

 

 

The two teens sat opposite each other on either side of Ukitake's desk. The two was having a glaring matching, burning each other down. The captain looked a little nervous and fidgeted with his pen. The tension was so thick you can cut it with a zanpakutou!

 

 

“Well um Renji lets see what you have”

 

 

Renji took out a cardboard piece with writing on it and held it up.

 

 

“Heavens above are you listening?”

 

 

“That didn't make any sense loser…”

 

 

“SAY THAT AGAIN GAY ASS!!”

 

 

“ALRIGHT next *cough* *cough* *cough*” Ukitake started spluttering.

 

 

Ichigo held up his cardboard.

 

 

“What in god's name are you doing?”

 

 

“Good, but I was thinking for something with a bit more uumph”

 

 

“Nah I got it” Renji whipped out another piece of card board

 

 

“For Christ's sake BELIEVE!” Renji looked proud of himself.

 

 

“How about just a little tinsy winsy more…”

 

 

“Hah suck on this!” Ichigo flashed another cardboard.

 

 

“ To all sinners, GOD DAMN YOU!!!

 

 

`Yes I think that will be the one!” Ukitake started to write something down.

 

 

“Hold on a fucking second!” Renji held high another cardboard piece.

 

 

“THEIVES, WHORE SODOMISERS, REPENT NOW OR ELSE, and we're not joking!!!!”

 

 

“JESUS GAVE HIS BLOOD SO BLOODY WELL GIVE TO JESUS!!!!!!”

 

 

“YOU, YES YOU…GET IN THIS CHURCH NOW, GET ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY. OR YOU'RE DEAD!!!!!!!!!!”

 

 

“HEY UGLY!!! YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD, AND THAT'S WHY YOU UGLY, YOU UGLY PIECE OF HORSESHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

 

“LETS NOT BE ASSHOLES, LETS SAVE OUR SOULS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

 

“HEY!!!! STOP TITTING AROUND YOU FUCKTARD OR YOU'LL GO TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

 

the two were breathing very heavily, face red from all the shouting, their eyes told messages of certain and painful death. Anger marks all over the place.

 

 

“Umm…very well done and…colourful but I think I'll ask Rukia instead *cough*”

 

 

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Now how wazzat??!! I hope people didn't get offended. But I did put a warning,

 

 

Don't forget to REVIEW and tell me what you think. I might make another CRACK FIC!!!

 

 

JA NE Bailey's Irish Cream

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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