Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Iago's Cunning ❯ Chapter 1

Title: Iago's Cunning

Author: Chaos-and-Serenity

Rating: T/PG-13

Summary: The green-eyed monster inhabits the gap between appearance and reality, but like all devils, it too possesses a subtle kindness. Ichigo finally sees the upside of jealousy, realizing that it only becomes visible when a bridge is built above the gorge of one's own reality.

A/N: Written for the Media Miner Trick or Treat Autumn Contest.

 

 

Iago's Cunning

 

x x x

 

“There is never jealousy where there is not strong regard.” —Washington Irving

 

x x x

 

“I can't believe I let you talk me into this,” Ichigo grumbled, “but if I hear one peep out of you, then I swear you'll never see the light of day again.”

 

Kon smiled to himself within the dark confines of Ichigo's backpack. Despite popular belief, Kon was no idiot. For months now he had been degraded to a lowly existence as a stuffed animal, and though it was better than not existing at all, it was still cruel. And the malevolent creature that resigned him to this ghastly fate was no other than that stupid, impudent Ichigo. However, Kon had concocted the perfect scheme to teach that foolish Ichigo a lesson.

 

Kon was a man, well, he was a modified soul currently inhabiting a plushy, but he was a male soul nonetheless, and no one treated him like a man, especially that damned Ichigo. He wasn't even anatomically correct for crying out loud! At the very least, Kon was grateful that Ichigo didn't destroy him because he was an adventurous soul who wanted to experience life to the fullest. Therefore, Kon deeply longed to know the promised bliss of a woman's touch; preferably that of a well-endowed woman, like the heavenly Inoue-san.

 

Being the ever-observant creature he was, Kon had noticed a few things, like the fact that his precious Inoue-san got all starry-eyed around that idiotic Ichigo. So naturally, he wondered what she found so appealing about Ichigo. The fraudulent Shinigami was rather stupid and abrasive, with the most hideously colored hair. Basically, Ichigo was quite unattractive. Determined to find Ichigo's hidden allurement, Kon began studying the boy and the answer became obvious—Ichigo was manly.

 

At first glance, Kon would have thought Chad was the most desirable out of the bunch, but contrary to his hard body, the guy was entirely too soft. Ishida was an apparent non-contender as evidenced by his love of all things lacey and frilly, making him a likely spokesperson for emasculation. Ichigo, however, was the epitome of masculinity and the ladies devoured him, although the boy was too stupid to notice and utilize his advantage. Kon figured it was logical and rather philanthropic of him to prevent Ichigo's gifts from going to waste; hence the creation of his ingenious ploy.

 

After memorizing and reenacting Ichigo's mannerisms and speech patterns, Kon needed to create an opportunity to steal Ichigo's body. Those fools in Soul Society just had to give the boy a trinket that made `Kon-Ichigo body switching' an obsolete practice. He no longer had opportunities to temporarily reside in a real body, making him regret his past reluctance to do so. Oh, the injustice of it all! Fortunately, the golden opportunity presented itself in the form of a festival, but the path wasn't clear yet; not when he still had to convince Ichigo to let him tag along. The injustice spiel worked like a charm in the end. After all, it was Ichigo's fault!

 

After Ichigo packed his bag earlier that morning, he went to the bathroom to shower, granting Kon with enough time to hide that Shinigami trinket. While the oblivious Ichigo was still bathing, he hid the boy's cash and metro card in his stuffing, knowing Ichigo wouldn't notice something like that and Ishida would mend his belly later. Thinking everything had already been squared away, Ichigo wouldn't realize anything was missing until they arrived at the train station, forcing him to rely on Kon so that he could return home quicker in his Shinigami form. Ichigo wouldn't be able to find the necessary items and he'd be forced to stay home for the entirety of the day. Kon was indeed a genius! He'd be caught anyway, so he'd plant a wet one on Inoue-san, making her realize he was the better man, and then viola—Ichigo would be forced to acknowledge Kon as the superior male specimen!

 

“ICHIGO!” Kon heard a male voice scream, realizing they must've just arrived at their destination. His smile widened. Suddenly, his dark abode was tumbling around as Ichigo flailed his arms.

 

“Get off, you retard!”

 

“But I missed you and I'm so happy we're hanging out!”

 

“Shut it, Keigo.”

 

“Kurosaki-kun!” Kon's smile returned when he recognized the angelic voice of his target, the sweet Inoue-san.

 

“Hey, Inoue,” he heard Ichigo say, followed by a breathy whisper that sounded a lot like Rukia. Did Ichigo say Nee-san's name under his breath? Oh the gods were certainly smiling down on him today! Maybe he should kiss both of them; he didn't want Nee-san to feel left out after all.

 

“I thought Chad was coming,” said the stupid one known as Ichigo. Why did he care if another man came anyway? It was like the boy was inviting competition, making Kon believe that Ichigo's stupidity was beyond reasonable measure.

 

“He is,” said the divine one known as Inoue-san. “I asked him to go get Ishida-san. I talked him into coming along, but I was afraid he'd back down. Oh, there he is!”

 

“Kurosaki,” he heard Ishida greet from his knapsack prison. That one is just as bland as Ichigo, he thought, hoping the conversation would end and they'd get going already.

 

“Sorry it took so long, Inoue,” said the unmistakable voice of Chad. “Ishida was reluctant.”

 

“I don't understand the point of going is all,” Ishida said defensively. “We've all been to this festival before.”

 

“Kuchiki-san hasn't.”

 

“ISHIDA!” shouted the loud, faceless one now known as Keigo. “I've got a new one for you today!”

 

“Please spare me.”

 

“Alright, alright, here it goes. Why do a married man and a single man envy each other?”

 

“I don't care.”

 

“Why? Tell me, please!” Inoue-san said excitedly. Though he couldn't see her, her voice alone was like the sweetest of melodies to his ears!

 

“Because each thinks the other is having more sex!” The boy called Keigo and Inoue-san began laughing hysterically, which perplexed Kon. The joke wasn't funny; it was offensive. Those men were flaunting their abundance of sex without regard to the less fortunate souls!

 

“I am not amused,” Ishida said.

 

“I'll make you laugh one day, Ishida!”

 

“I don't get it,” said the wondrously androgynous voice of Nee-san. Oh, how he longed to embrace her!

 

He heard Ichigo sigh. “It's crude, but the point is that both are only seeing green because they're making assumptions.”

 

“Seeing green?”

 

“It's an expression. It means they're jealous, but in reality they have no reason to be.”

 

“Oh. So…jealousy is a bad thing?”

 

Ichigo snorted. How dare he treat Nee-san so disrespectfully! “You say that like you've never been jealous before. Of course it's bad. You're supposed to be happy with what you have. If you're not, change it. Don't harp on what other people have.”

 

“I see.”

 

“C'mon guys, we got a train to catch.”

 

Ichigo started walking and Kon rubbed his paws together. If he had fingers, he would have tapped them together in a conspiratorial manner, but he took heart in the fact that very soon he would indeed have fingers—Ichigo's fingers! Ichigo stopped and Kon felt an elbow brush across the bag. Ichigo was digging around in his pocket.

 

“What?”

 

“What's wrong?”

 

“I swear I put my metro card in here earlier. Guess I'll have to buy a ticket.”

 

“Sucks for you, Kurosaki.”

 

On cue, a breathy gasp escaped his captor. Would he ask his friends for cash? Not when he had promised Nee-san sweets and prizes!

 

“Shit.”

 

“What was that Ichigo?”

 

“Uh…I…have to use the bathroom real quick!” The tumbling commenced again as Ichigo ran; when it stopped, no time was squandered in zipping open Kon's current prison.

 

“Did you see anyone go in my room earlier?”

 

“I wasn't in your room earlier, remember? You allowed your evil sister to dress me up like a girl!”

 

“Damn it! I have to go back home. I can't spend all day at a festival with no money!” Ichigo bemoaned as he fished through the pack. “Where the hell is that Hollow detector that Ukitake gave me? I swear I put it in here! That's all I need! Rukia already thinks I'm an idiot. What'll she think if I say I have to go all the way back home `cause I forgot something? She's been looking forward to this festival for days now.”

 

There's no helping that, Kon mused darkly, all the while reveling in Ichigo's distress. “I guess poor Nee-san is going to have to wait even longer,” Kon said with a dramatic flair. Ichigo was too stubborn to ask his friends to wait on him and Kon also knew that if Ichigo told his friends to go on without him that they would refuse, once again making Ichigo feel like a burden. That had been a recurrent theme lately, along with the `Rukia-Thinks-I'm-an-Idiot' monologues.

 

After a moment passed, Ichigo turned conniving eyes onto him. Kon knew that look and was finally happy to see it. “I'm gonna have to stick my hand in your mouth, Kon. I got to do this quick, so I need to be in Shinigami form. Keigo owes me some money, so force it out of him to buy the ticket. And don't act stupid! I shouldn't be too long.”

 

Without another delay, Ichigo shoved a hand down his throat and the world went black. When he came to, he was inside a real, anatomically correct, male body! Ichigo threw some directions at him and took off almost instantly. If only the fool knew how pointless it was in the first place.

 

With that last thought, Kon exited the bathroom and made his way to the others, an Ichigo-patented scowl firmly set.

 

x x x

 

“Where is it!” Draws were ransacked, books were scattered and the bed was overturned—yet no metro card was found or any cash discovered. The only thing saved from the Ichigo-induced storm was his closet, and that was only because it wasn't exactly his closet anymore.

 

“What're you doing?”

 

“Uh…um…I,” he stuttered, his body freezing in place at the reality of being caught as a Shinigami.

 

“What's wrong with you? You're acting like I caught you choking the chicken.”

 

It was only Karin; he had forgotten she could see him in this form. Wait—what did she just say?

 

“So what's with the typhoon, bro?”

 

“Give me some money.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Oh yeah, and your metro card.”

 

“You idiot! Why do you need a metro card when you're invisible? Just jump over the gate.”

 

Why hadn't he thought of that? “Alright, but I still need some cash. I'll be at a festival all day in Hachioji City, so make sure to give me plenty.”

 

“Come again? I think I misunderstood you.”

 

“Don't play stupid. I'll pay you back!”

 

“Don't boss me around! Why were you even planning on going if you're broke?”

 

“I had the money. I just lost it…somehow.”

 

“It's not my fault you're a dim-wit.”

 

“Hey! That money was in my wallet this morning!” With that thought, Ichigo's eyes roamed over his paper-strewn desk where he had set his wallet before taking a shower. As the digital number on his clock changed with a quick flicker of light, realization dawned. Kon didn't fight him over the body-switching incident. Kon always fought him over that, but it had been a long time since the modified soul inhabited a real body. But this had to be Kon's doing; no one else would've had the opportunity. What could have compelled Kon to trick him?

 

His blood froze as he recalled what Kon had tried to do with his body the first time the wayward soul had taken control of it. He would be defamed, his name scandalized and his reputation ruined! Without another word to his sister, Ichigo threw open his bedroom window and leapt to the street.

 

He was going to murder Kon!

 

x x x

 

Ichigo's legs and lungs were burning by the time he reached Mt. Takao in Hachioji City. After weaving through several crowds and almost falling over a group of particularly unruly children, Ichigo stumbled upon a mock archery game where Chad and Ishida stood, waiting for their turn. He was about to approach them when Keigo and Mizuiro showed up.

 

“Ichigo's been acting really weird today.”

 

“Where have you been, Keigo?” Mizuiro asked. “He's been acting strange for months now. You know, I think it all started when Kuchiki-san first came around.”

 

Perfect, everybody thought he was a weirdo. With that thought, Ichigo ducked behind a sake stand, determined to prevent dragging Ishida and Chad into the same mess. They might act funny in front of Keigo and Mizuiro if they saw him in his Shinigami form. They'd probably get all antsy thinking a Hollow was lurking within the vicinity, and if that happened, they might be labeled as freaks too.

 

“Speaking of Kuchiki-san,” Keigo began, “don't you think it's odd that Ichigo's been all over Orihime-san ever since we got here? I thought he had a thing for Kuchiki-san.”

 

“Maybe she rejected him because Ichigo had it bad for her.”

 

What the hell is that supposed to mean? Ichigo thought, his frustration growing.

 

“Maybe Kurosaki just isn't himself today,” Ishida said in what Ichigo presumed to be a sly manner. That bastard knew Kon was in his body and he wasn't even keeping an eye on the cretin!

 

Without sparing another moment, Ichigo took off in a sprint searching through the dense crowds in hopes of catching a glimpse of orange hair. His height should make it easier to find Kon, but there was just something so terribly awkward about looking for your own body, but this wasn't the first time he'd had to `find himself'.

 

After frantically searching with no luck, Ichigo changed directions and went further upward toward the summit where the temple was located. It was a long shot, but that was where the largest cluster of maple trees was located. Inoue probably thought Rukia would like to see it since the maple trees were what this festival was all about.

 

When he reached the temple grounds the sun was beginning its descent and the atmosphere was beautiful, quite contrary to the mass chaos below where the carnival games and snack shops were situated. Then he saw Inoue, flanked by a pair of tengu statues, standing still and staring ahead as though she was nothing more than a stone monument herself. The breeze played with the hem of her skirt and he noticed she wasn't wearing a jacket. It was autumn and once darkness fell, so would the temperature. He was about to go and scold her for her negligence when a burly man dressed as a pirate sauntered up to her.

 

The man was twice her size with a reddish nose and a tarnished flask gripped between chubby fingers. Ichigo figured he was one of those cosplay freaks. The man even had an eye patch and a stuffed parrot sewn to his shoulder, though the green bird was flopped over on its side, obviously not well kept. The sight made him think of Zaraki Kenpachi, the parrot being an undersized lieutenant, and he was about to laugh at the mental image when reality struck him sober. Why was that man approaching Inoue? If he bothered her, then by the gods he was going to get punched and there was no way he'd be able to see it coming!

 

“What's with the long face?” the pirate asked her.

 

“Huh?” Inoue replied, not even looking at the man who was speaking to her. Where was Rukia, or even Kon? Inoue was seriously too naïve to be left on her own. Then the man looked ahead at what had captured her attention, but Ichigo was unable to see past the pirate's monstrous body.

 

“Isn't that something?” the man said playfully. “It's dusk in the most beautiful get-away in all of Tokyo and two lovers share a kiss, surrounded by a canopy of red maples. Red is the color of romance after all.”

 

“What did you say?”

 

“Ah, I see now,” the man said with a chuckle. “I guess you're seeing green `cause you ain't got no man, huh?”

 

“Seeing green?” Inoue repeated. Did that man just accuse her of being jealous?

 

“Don't worry, sweetheart. You're too cute to stay lonely forever.” With that last remark the pirate walked away while unscrewing the cap of his flask. With the pirate gone, Ichigo was now able to see what they were talking about and his gut plummeted to the ground. Kon, in his body, was lip-locked with Rukia. Firstly, Kon had some nerve, and secondly, Rukia should not, under any circumstance, be kissing Kon! His blood boiled instantly, thoughts of murder crowding his mind as he clenched his fists. Before he could make a move, another feeling overwhelmed his fury, making him hesitate. Why would Rukia allow Kon to kiss her?

 

His head spun and his chest tightened as images of the past replayed before his eyes. Did Rukia prefer Kon? Thinking back, he realized that Kon was always amiable and affectionate toward Rukia, whereas he was always petulant and abrasive toward her. Had she tired of his antics, or did she feel nothing for him since the beginning? The latter possibility made his body feel numb, his neck slacking as he fought to lower his eyes. He just couldn't bear the sight any longer.

 

Then, Inoue turned and ran away, distracting his dejection with wonderment. What the hell was her problem? Then the pirate's words rained down on him, making his breath hitch as though the air was too waterlogged to inhale. It seemed ridiculous to think Inoue would be jealous of Rukia and Kon, but maybe that wasn't what had happened. Maybe she ran away from the reality of him kissing Rukia, not Kon, though the idea seemed equally ludicrous. If Inoue didn't know it was really Kon inside his body, then maybe Rukia didn't know either.

 

He looked at the two of them again, and this time he saw things a little differently. It was surreal watching himself kiss a woman, an opportunity infeasible for most. Having not yet touched a woman's lips, he wondered what it felt like, curious if Rukia's tongue was as sharp as it seemed. In that moment, being without the sensory details of the kiss he witnessed, an epiphany overcame him.

 

He was watching himself kiss Rukia, and it made a nice picture, although his neck would inevitably ache if it continued for too long.

 

The dying sunlight captured the scarlet leaves, giving Rukia a vibrant backdrop that contrasted beautifully with her white dress. She looked lovely against the rustic color, making the temple and the festival fall from sight, like the leaves every autumn, as though contemplation of time was as arbitrary as envy without reason.

 

Jealousy was one of those evil emotions that made people petty, but didn't those kinds of emotions have an upside too? Rage was an emotion with a negative connotation, yet it could fuel justice. Guilt was one that could tear a person apart, yet it could cultivate humility. Similarly, with the right perspective, arrogance granted resolve and dishonesty protected loved ones.

 

But he had never thought that anything good could come from jealousy—until now.

 

Like a ghost accepting its newfound existence, Ichigo finally fathomed the true nature of the beast. Jealousy was nothing more than the gap between appearance and reality. As a quick eye deceives the mind, envy blinds the heart—only realization can reinstate sight. Reality was a subjective phenomenon, bent by a person's interpretation of an event. He always assumed people thought he had a crush on Rukia because they were always running off together, though the reality of those excursions was drastically different than it appeared. Maybe they saw something he didn't all along.

 

Rukia wasn't kissing Kon; she was kissing him. His anger had instantaneously morphed into jealousy, and for no good reason. Whether she knew it was Kon inside his body really didn't matter. She saw orange hair and brown eyes attached to the face she called Ichigo, and she couldn't turn away. The warmth returned to his limbs as a smile threatened to conquer his face.

 

“How dare you kiss me!”

 

The smile was victorious; he could feel it stretching his lips as he approached the rebuked imposter. “What's going on here?” he asked, the display of shock by the duo making him want to laugh.

 

“You!” Rukia yelled while pointing a finger at him, her indignation beautifully evident. “You never should've allowed him control of your body!”

 

He may be guilty of initiating petulant squabbles with Rukia, but he wasn't about to stop that habit now, especially since it seemed she liked it so much. “Well, it seems you were having some fun with my body when I wasn't around. Guess I can't trust you around it when I'm in my Shinigami form.”

 

She looked positively dumbstruck. “That's absurd!”

 

“So you knew it was Kon?”

 

“Of course!”

 

“Then why'd you let him kiss you?”

 

“I was in shock! He was on me before I had to time to blink!”

 

He noticed Kon creeping away from the corner of his eye as he maintained his confrontational stance with Rukia. “That's a sorry excuse,” he said as he grabbed Kon's collar. “You ain't going no where!”

 

“I'm surrounded by children!” Rukia complained as she slid the skull-emblazoned glove onto her hand. She forced the modified soul out of his body with more aggression than necessary, but he wasn't about to chastise her for it, not after what Kon had done.

 

“Why aren't you infuriated?” she asked irritably as he reunited with his body.

 

“Just because it doesn't seem like I am, doesn't mean I'm not,” he replied cryptically, relishing in her confused disposition. He always liked having the upper hand. Subconsciously, he licked his lips as he stared at her, the familiar feel of a challenge rising within his chest, but the thought scattered when he noticed something out of place.

 

“Strawberry?” he asked her, licking his lips again.

 

“Inoue bought it for me. The weather made my lips dry.”

 

“I didn't think you were into to that girly stuff.”

 

“It's not girly, it's practical!”

 

“Then why'd you get a flavored one?”

 

“It smelled nice, so I thought it'd taste nice too.”

 

“I don't know why you girls wear this stuff. It's so pointless. I'd just lick it off,” he said as indifferently as he could, licking his lower lip once more. Her eyes followed the subtle movement, making his stomach flip.

 

“Where'd Inoue go?” Rukia asked, seeming uncannily distracted. Ichigo didn't know if he should rejoice or mourn the change in subject.

 

“I don't know, but it was weird. She just ran off for no reason,” he replied, looking off into the direction she had run.

 

“We need to find her!” Rukia's urgent tone made him wonder if he was missing something, again. Maybe he was just misinterpreting things, but it always felt like his life was enshrouded by secrets. Rukia took off in the direction he had pointed, his eyes and feet frozen as he watched her pass the stone-laden guardians, forever poised over the mountain and before the temple, fortune their card to play.

 

He walked up to the tengu as he fished through his pocket, not surprised to find his cash returned to its proper place. He wasn't very religious, or superstitious for that matter, but he believed in paying respect where respect was due. And so he tossed some coins at the statues' feet and nodded his head before following after Rukia.

 

He needed to remember to count his blessings after all.

 

x x x