Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Surrender Hope ❯ Chapter 1
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Kita and Subu-chan 
How can you be expected to repent, when you don't regret? Because I don't regret a moment of it. Rukia-introspection.
Anime/Manga: Bleach Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Psychological | Type: Vignette | Uploaded On: 02.11.2007 | Pages: 1 | Words: 639 | Visits: 877 | Status: Completed
How can you be expected to repent, when you don't regret? Because I don't regret a moment of it. Rukia-introspection.
Anime/Manga: Bleach Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Psychological | Type: Vignette | Uploaded On: 02.11.2007 | Pages: 1 | Words: 639 | Visits: 877 | Status: Completed
Surrender Hope
A/N-First Bleach Fic, so be kind. It’s set during the soul society arc, when Rukia is imprisoned in the tower. It’s a little look at how she’s feeling.
The window is narrow and lets in little light. I stare out endlessly at a world which is not mine anymore. It hasn’t been mine since I gave my powers, my strength and abilities to him. I do not belong here or in his world. Outcast and traitor in one, unremarked and forgotten in the other.
Soon to be no more in either, for I am traitor and sentenced to die for that crime. This tower is a prison cell, as much or more than the last cell was, for its window stares out at the device that will be my undoing. They say this a place of repentance, but I will not repent my crimes. I would do it all again, all for the sake of meeting them. A soul reaper doesn’t have or need friends, as any one of my brethren will tell you, but I do. A weakness on my part and a fatal flaw to their way of thinking, but I will not regret it.
I will not regret meeting you, Ichigo, nor surrendering my powers to you. I will not repent for the time I spent in your company, or that of your friends, who accepted me and made me one of them. I cannot regret that. To do so would make me no better than a hollow myself. Because while I would not be a monster, I would be as hollow inside as those poor souls are.
Renji told me of intruders in the soul society, led by a soul reaper with a zanpaku-to as tall as he is and with orange hair. Can it really be you? It can’t be, for my brother’s attacks should have destroyed your spiritual powers. You can’t be here. It’s an impossibility. But I want to believe that you came for me, that you are still alive and strong.
Not like I last saw you, battered and bleeding on the pavement. Dying by inches and still unwilling to give up, clinging stubbornly to my brother’s robe. You knew, didn’t you, when I kicked your hand aside and told you to give up, that I was saving your life? He would have killed you sooner than look at you. It was all I could do to speak in that cold voice, and to hide the tears I could not shed.
Moisture drops onto the sleeve of Rukia’s yukata and she stares at it in anguished wonder. She thought she had forgotten how to cry all those years ago. That she still can is a surprise, and not a pleasant one. She can feel her heart breaking with every tear that spills from her burning eyes. But she will not give them the satisfaction. She will not wipe the tears away.
Let them think that these tears are of repentance. It will not matter in the end. In spite of what Renji whispered to me, I will not let myself hope. Hope is a weakness I cannot afford. You will survive in the other world, where in time you will forget me, as the others have. It will fade from your memory as surely as it has from theirs, now that you are without spiritual power and the ability to see ghosts, it will all seem a dream and you will go on about your normal life. You will be safe.
I will surrender all hope… except that one.
A/N-First Bleach Fic, so be kind. It’s set during the soul society arc, when Rukia is imprisoned in the tower. It’s a little look at how she’s feeling.
The window is narrow and lets in little light. I stare out endlessly at a world which is not mine anymore. It hasn’t been mine since I gave my powers, my strength and abilities to him. I do not belong here or in his world. Outcast and traitor in one, unremarked and forgotten in the other.
Soon to be no more in either, for I am traitor and sentenced to die for that crime. This tower is a prison cell, as much or more than the last cell was, for its window stares out at the device that will be my undoing. They say this a place of repentance, but I will not repent my crimes. I would do it all again, all for the sake of meeting them. A soul reaper doesn’t have or need friends, as any one of my brethren will tell you, but I do. A weakness on my part and a fatal flaw to their way of thinking, but I will not regret it.
I will not regret meeting you, Ichigo, nor surrendering my powers to you. I will not repent for the time I spent in your company, or that of your friends, who accepted me and made me one of them. I cannot regret that. To do so would make me no better than a hollow myself. Because while I would not be a monster, I would be as hollow inside as those poor souls are.
Renji told me of intruders in the soul society, led by a soul reaper with a zanpaku-to as tall as he is and with orange hair. Can it really be you? It can’t be, for my brother’s attacks should have destroyed your spiritual powers. You can’t be here. It’s an impossibility. But I want to believe that you came for me, that you are still alive and strong.
Not like I last saw you, battered and bleeding on the pavement. Dying by inches and still unwilling to give up, clinging stubbornly to my brother’s robe. You knew, didn’t you, when I kicked your hand aside and told you to give up, that I was saving your life? He would have killed you sooner than look at you. It was all I could do to speak in that cold voice, and to hide the tears I could not shed.
Moisture drops onto the sleeve of Rukia’s yukata and she stares at it in anguished wonder. She thought she had forgotten how to cry all those years ago. That she still can is a surprise, and not a pleasant one. She can feel her heart breaking with every tear that spills from her burning eyes. But she will not give them the satisfaction. She will not wipe the tears away.
Let them think that these tears are of repentance. It will not matter in the end. In spite of what Renji whispered to me, I will not let myself hope. Hope is a weakness I cannot afford. You will survive in the other world, where in time you will forget me, as the others have. It will fade from your memory as surely as it has from theirs, now that you are without spiritual power and the ability to see ghosts, it will all seem a dream and you will go on about your normal life. You will be safe.
I will surrender all hope… except that one.