Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction / Digimon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction / Zoids Fan Fiction / Love Hina Fan Fiction / Medabots Fan Fiction ❯ KNNNN: Kero's Nonstop Nonsense News Network Season 2 ❯ 5th Edition ( Chapter 5 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

"We interrupt your fanfiction reading to bring you a live satellite feed from the 24-hour
Cable News channel, KNNNN."

*&Toros&

KNNNN (Kero's Non&Toros&stop Nonsense News Network)&Toros&
&Toros&By PikaFlash

5th Edition &Toros&(Season 2)

Disclaimers: All &Toros& characters, ideas, and scenes &Toros& belong to their respective
&Toros& owners as mention in the credits of 8th Edition, Season 1.

Recap of Series: Kero's&Toros& Nonstop Nonsense News Network is a news channel that has run
for nearly 20 years (or so they claimed).&Toros& This news channel, under the Kero's Kable
&Toros& Network also involves the journalistic talents of Kero, Eriol, Brock, Ash, Tai and
Erika. And the current competion on the new business of newstainment is KNNNN's Biggest
rival of them all, the BOXXXX News Network...and now on to &Toros& KNNNN...

News Crew:
Kero Beros [kero_b@knnnn.com] - (Editor and Chief Commentator) - Cardcaptor Sakura
Eriol Hiragizawa [eriol_h@knnnn.com] - (Newscaster) - Cardcaptor Sakura
Ash Ketchum [ash_k@knnnn.com] - (Kanto Correspondent) - Pokemon
Erika Tenryou [erika_t@knnnn.com] - (Reporter at Large) - Medabots
Tai Yagami [tai_y@knnnn.com] - (Newsdude/Leading Investigative Journalist) - Digimon
Brock Blockhead [brock_b@knnnn.com] - (Head Musician of the Newsband) - Pokemon

Others:
King Kero [king_kero@knnnn.com] - (Director of Newstainment) - Cardcaptor Sakura
Konno Mitsune (Kitsune) [mitsune_k@knnnn.com] - (Tokyo Correspondent) - Love Hina
Mokuba Kaiba [mokuba_k@knnnn.com] - (KNNNN Sunrise Presenter) - Yu-Gi-Oh
Rini Tuskino [rini_t@knnnn.com] - (KNNNN Sunrise Presenter) - Sailor Moon
&Toros&
Newsband:
Rejected applicants for Matt Ishida's Band in Digimon 02.

*Channel Flip to KNNNN*

~World
Wrestling
Mechas!~

"MetalGreymon Vs. Arcbeetle"

~

"A monster slam fest!"

MetalGreymon and Arcbeetle were wrestling each other in a ring and Arcbeetle laid the
smackdown onto MetalGreymon.

~

"In this demolition derby!"

MetalGreymon jumped onto Arcbeetle, who was knocked onto the floor.

~

Arcbeetle was holding a microphone.

Arcbeetle: I want no Dinos in my watch!

~

Arcbeetle tried to attack MetalGreymon at one of the eyes.

~

"The Ultimate Mecha Showdown!"

Arcbeetle threw MetalGreymon onto the turnbuckle and used a chair to smash onto
MetalGreymon's head.

~

MetalGreymon: I will tear Japan in two!

~

MetalGreymon used his Metal claw and pounded Arcbeetle in the head, followed by grabbing
Arcbeetle and slamming Arcbeetle onto the floor.

~

MetalGreymon had his Metal Claw on Arcbeetle, keeping him down.

~

"'World Wrestling Mechas', tomorrow at 10pm. Exclusive on the Kero-Mecha Channel."

*

[KNNNN: Game on!]

*End Break*

[Kero Beros - Chief Newscaster (Email: kero_b@knnnn.com)]
[Eriol Hiragizawa - Newscaster (Email: eriol_h@knnnn.com)]

Eriol and Kero were at the newsdesk as the KNNNN Newsband finished a song.

Eriol: The KNNNN Newsband. Welcome back. Glad for you to be with us at just past the top of
the hour, as all of the technological systems in the world are brought to a standstill due
to the deadly Toros Computer Virus.

*Toros Virus Alert*

[Ash Ketchum - Kanto Correspondent (Email: ash_k@knnnn.com)]

Ash: Yes, its a very troublesome virus and experts are warning users that if they have
recieved any attachments marked "Toros", "Blitz Team" or "Zoids". Please, whatever
you do, do not open the attachments or you might spread the Toros Virus even further.

*

Kero: We've already seen it eating into computer systems at the World Robattle Comission...

*

Images of Dr. Toros was seen on the large battle arena screens in Riverview.

*Kero: And all over Times Square in New York.*

Images of Dr. Toros was seen all over signs and screens in New York.

*

Kero: I tell you, its an incredible virus. Something much more bigger than Lucemon. Brock?

*

Brock and the newsband played some suspenseful and eerie music.

Brock: "Nothing or no-one is immune!"

*

Eriol: And we'll have more updates on the virus.

*

Ash: But take a look at this nifty phone I got from Bandai.

*Nice Looking Phone*

Ash: This custom built phone can actually predict what sleazy SMS I want to put. As I
type this up...

*

Ash firsts puts in:
"What..."

Suddenly:
"What r u wearing, you sexy hot chunks?!"

*

Ash: See?! It knows what I want to say. An excellent phone for Matt Ishida to use when
Sora is not looking.

*RING! RING! RING! RING! RING!*

Kero: Will you look at that? Fantastic, its now time for...

*

Brock: Its "Slotmachine Payout Time Again!"

*KNNNN Sponsor: Have a nice snack to fill that tummy with Digi-Snacks. Snacks with the
natural goodness of Digimon Data.*

Ash: Yes, and KNNNN has developed this new go-anywhere, mobile machine that Anime Characters
can play on the slots anywhere, anytime, anyhow...

*Celadon City*

In the Celadon Game Corner, Ash walks to James at a slot machine with Tai dressed as a
slot machine with a toilet bowl.

[Ash Ketchum Reporting]

Ash: Excuse me. How's your luck going?

James: Oh, very well.

Ash: Great. Would you like to try out the Slot Machine of the future? It is called the
Straight Flush.

Tai: Gimme your money. Gimme your money.

~

In the streets, Tai was standing in front of Richie and Casey.

Richie: Well, I like to take my chances with you.

Tai: I like you.

~

Back in the Celadon Game Corner, Ash was explaining to on how to play the Straight Flush.

Ash: All you need to do is to give him your money by putting the money in the toilet and
then, pull the lever.

Tai: Pull the lever. Pull the lever.

James puts in some money into the toilet bowl, pulled the lever and Tai begins to dance
with some Slot machine music, and suddenly, a flush sound was heard.

Tai: Ohhh...

Ash: You lose.

Tai: Redeem your losses. Bet again.

~

Tai was dancing to the slot machine music when the flush was heard.

Tai: Ohhhh, you lost.

~

Ash and Tai were with James.

Ash: Is it more fun that the actual slot machine? Because with this one, you can take it
everywhere.

~

Tai was with Casey.

Tai: You can lose your car, your home and your self-respect all at once.

~

Back to Richie.

Tai: Come on! Kepp gambling! Keep gambling!

~

Ash and Tai were with Gary.

Ash: You can take it home to play with your family.

Tai: Have you got Grandparents? I like pensioners

Ash: He loves pensioners.

~

Ash brought Tai to some elementary school students.

Ash: Do you want to play?

Students: Yeah!

Ash passes some money to one of the kids.

Ash: Here. Put the money in the toilet bowl and pull the lever.

The kid puts the money in and pulled the lever. As usual, Tai does his silly slot machine
dancing to the music, followed by the flush.

Ash: Ohhh, you lost.

~

Tai was ringing with Richie and Casey.

Tai: You won! Would you like to double up?!

Richie: Yes!

Casey: No!

~

Ash was showing Tai to A.J.

Ash: The great thing about this Slot machine is that not only it draws you in, but it can
run after you.

Tai: And I will.

~

Tai was running after some Pokemon Trainers.

Tai: Come on! Bet and play. Gimme your money! Gimme your pension!

~

Ash: Statistically, that is a chance that you could win.

A.J.: Statistically, that's bullshit.

~

Tai was dancing in front of Richie, who feels like punching the Slot machine.

Tai: You're our feature! DA DA DA DADADA! That's 15 straight losses.

Richie punches the slot machine.

~

A.J. was looking into his wallet.

A.J.: Do you take Credit cards?

Ash: Of course. We take everything.

~

Tai was dancing to the slot machine music, followed by the flush.

Tai: Oh, you lost.

~

A.J.: Is it possible to get my money back?

Ash: No, its a fair game, you had fun and now we got the money.

*

Eriol: Yes, a very upwardly and mobile slot machine.

*

Ash: And the slot machine is also promoting his new CD, based on his experiences on
listening to bad music. The CD is called "Blow Up the Teenage Wolves."

Ash shows the CD with a picture of Slot machine Tai and a no Teenage Wolves sign.

*

Eriol: And now its time for Brock to take us to the break. Brock?

*

Brock: Yes. Will everyone just please thank our sponsors who will bring us this next break?

*Break*

"Cheese on toast. Good."

Sakura was holding Cheese on a toast.

"Cheese on Thighs, bad."

Sakura looked at her thigh.

~

"Well, look out for New Esteam FatSculpt..."

*Phase 1*

Sakura puts a strip of plastic wrap on her thigh.

"Using Celluflight 313, you'll get a smoother skin."

*Phase 2*

Sakura wraps her legs with the FatSculpt Wrap.

"And its 62% more prize winning than other wraps."

~

Sakura walks to Syaoran with her legs wrapped in the FatSculpt.

Sakura: Thanks to Esteam, my boyfriend can keep the lights on.

~

"Esteam: Because you need it for confidence..."

*

"Ever wonder what its like to be a KNNNN reporter?"

Kitsune was on camera.

Kitsune: No one can make a challenging story sexy other than me. I mean, on the story about
the Sailor Moon Dubbing Disasters, people told me "that only Kitsune can make Sailor Moon's
hair look like my breasts." That's why I'm with KNNNN.

[KNNNN: Konno Mitsune - Tokyo Correspondent]

*End Break*

Eriol: Welcome back to KNNNN, as we'll talk about politics.

*

The newsband played the music.

Brock: "And that's not a cue to change channel!"

*

Eriol: And this time, its on Goku and Film Fluid.

*News Headline: Mystery Fuels Fluid Saga and Goku's Headache*

~

Ash: Yes, and ever since Goku has made it compulsory for Film Fluid to be used in fishbowls...

*Dead fishes were floating in a fishbowl*

Ash: ...and fire extinguishers.

*Erika was trying to extinguish a rubbish bin fire with the fire extinguisher she has
but the film fluid that was compulsory in the extinguisher made the fire stronger.*

Ash: And these Filmpops, which are lollipops laced with the film fluid.

*

Eriol: And I went to Goku to see if I could put Goku's mouth where the money is.

*

[Eriol Hiragizawa Reporting]

Goku got out of a limo and was walking to a conference room when Eriol begins to follow
Goku.

Eriol: Mr. President, what do you think of these new Filmpops?!

Goku continues to walk normally and Eriol was holding some money.

Eriol: Would you like to try these new Filmpops and have a donation to your goverment?

Goku tosses the filmpop away and enters a conference room.

Eriol: Come on, that's offensive to FUNAnimation.

*

Kero: He sure changed his tone.

*KNNNN Sponsor: KeroTel, Now with IMAX Technology.*

Eriol: But I'm not with the side of FUNAnimation.

*Goku not Hungry*

Ash: Maybe your donation wasn't good enough.

*

Eriol: But King Kero has a new game coming soon to rectify that problem.

*Ad: King Kero: The New Bribe is Right!*

King Kero was with with a sign reading:

1. DragonBall Z Original Dubbing
2. Sailor Moon Original Dubbing
3. Buying of Animes off Large Anime Dubbing companies
4. Selling of Animes to Anime Fansubbers
5. Drop Anime Dubbing Laws

King Kero: Well, Takato?

Takato: I want to switch the Sailor Moon Original Dubbing with the DragonBall Z Original
Dubbing.

King Kero switch the two sets of choices.

~Later~

1. DragonBall Z Original Dubbing - US$10, 000
2. Sailor Moon Original Dubbing - US$25, 000
3. Buying of Animes off Large Anime Dubbing companies - US$100, 000
4. Selling of Animes to Anime Fansubbers - US$500, 000
5. Drop Anime Dubbing Laws - (Panel not opened yet)

King Kero: And for the "dropping of Anime Dubbing Laws" is...

King Kero opens a panel, revealing "Pro-Election Media Coverage!"

King: Pro-Election Media Coverage! You win the policy of your choice!

Takato: All right!!

Jeri runs to Takato as King Kero faces the camera.

"Can King Kero bribe the Senate next? Find out more on 'The New Bribe is Right', 5:30
weekdays on KNNNN."

*End Ad*

Ash: King Kero has done it again.

*

Eriol: Its compulsory viewing for Anime Distribution and dubbing companies.

*

The newsband played the music.

Brock: "Its not a bribe but a Government donation."

*

Kero: And now on to Property Watch now, as we look onto this Janitor's Closet in California.

*Property Watch: Janitor's closet*

Eriol: Its a booming market as we look for buyers to buy this excellent piece of real estate.

*

Ash: Yes, and the current bid is 1.2 Million. But there is a reserve price that's up in the
3 million.

*Current Bid: 1.2 Million*

*Eriol: Yes, and this piece of real estate deal has a short stroll to the beach.

*32 KM stroll to Beach.*

Eriol: An uninterrupted water view.

*Water views of damp puddle.*

Eriol: And a DA approval for further improvement.

*DA approval to remove dead cockroach.*

*

*Ash: And with the generous goverment assistance for first home buyers...*

*Generous Goverment Assistance*
(Original Sale Price):$ 3, 800, 000
(First Home Buyer): -$ 7, 000

Total = $3, 793, 000

*Ash: Which is absolutely affordable for first time buyers.*

*

Eriol: And the major bidder is a property developer that plans to convert the
Janator's closet into 23 new Apartment Blocks, which brings the question...

*

Music by Newsband.

Brock: "Why are people living in new apartments?"

*

Kero: Yes, on tonight's rethorical poll, which World Icon can we convert into Apartment
Blocks?

*A) The Statue of Liberty*

*Kero: The Statue of Liberty.*

The Statue of Liberty has an apartment block on her head.

*B) The Eiffel Tower*

*Kero: Or the Eiffel Tower.*

The Eiffel Tower had some Apartment Blocks in front of it.

*C) The White House*

*Kero: Or maybe the White House.*

The White House is surrounded by Apartment Blocks...

*&Toros&

Kero: Vote now on...oh what?! The Toros Virus has gotten into our asterixs!

*&Toros& Call 1900-IConvert&Toros&*

&Toros&*&Toros&

Ash: Its filling up the screen!

&Toros&&Toros&*&Toros&&Toros&

Eriol: Oh no. Looks like we'll take a short break as we'll try to rectify the problem.

&Toros&*&Toros&Break&Toros&*&Toros&

[KNNNN: The Network the President Understands]

~

"KNNNN has newsdesks everywhere in 156 countries."

Ash is on Newsdesks every where, even when Ash landing down in a parachute and a desk.

"Even on every streets in New York in case something ever happens again."

Ash was in New York at a newsdesk in Manhattan, New Jersey, every street in NYC.

[KNNNN: No One has more News because no one has more desks]

*

"Tonight on Kero and Friends, Kero talks to Vice-President Vegeta."

Kero: You are a communist!

Vegeta: No, I am not.

Kero: Yes you are!

Vegeta: I am not!

Kero: Why do you abandon your country?

Vegeta: I think we should conclude this interview.

"Another knockout interview on Kero and Friends, Tonight at 10pm"

*End Break*

Eriol and Kero were at the newsdesk as now the asterixes has fixed as the Toros Virus
has been removed.

Eriol: Welcome back, as the Toros Virus has crashed computer systems all around the world.

*Vicious Virus*

Kero: Yes, our technical crew has sorted the problems but very unfortunate for Riverview News
last night, though when their news story on the conflict in Korea got infected by the
Toros Virus.

*Courtesy of Riverview News.*

A Medabot newscaster was facing 4 TV screens full of Dr. Toros' faces.

*

Kero: Its just bad luck that the story that they were going to do was on the gang conflict
in Kyoto and the gang war has just ended due to their weapons getting infected by the Toros
Virus too.

Eriol: And our technicians have assured to us that KNNNN is now Virus-Free.

*

Ash: Now that the virus problem has been sorted out, let us get back to Politics for
a second.

*

The newsband played some music.

Brock: "And that's still not a cue to change channels!"

*

Ash: Yes siree. As you know, the race to be the governor of California have movie stars
line Arnie "The Terminator" and Gary Coleman to turn Hollywood into Pollywood. But what if
we have Video Game characters like Cloud Strife and Zidane Tribal? And if we add in Tidus
from Final Fantasy X, it will be the political battle of blondes of the century.

*

Eriol: But could what happen in Hollywood happen in the Anime World? Find out as I went out
to ask about Anime Characters about being the Governor of California.

*

[Eriol Hiragizawa reporting]

Eriol was with Yusuke (from Yu Yu Hakusho).

Eriol: Would you want to become a politician?

Yusuke: Only if you want to be my campaign manager.

~

Eriol was with Samantha (from Medabots).

Eriol: How about if we have Cassidy from Pokemon to be Governor of California?

Samantha: I thought you said Anime Characters?

Eriol: She'll get the popular vote.

Samantha: What about the policies? There's no way I'm letting her become Governor of
California.

Eriol: But what about Jessie? She went the same way as Cassidy.

Samantha: And look where she ends up.

Eriol: Exactly, in jail. That's the beauty of it.

Samantha: Oh, if its for Cassidy to go to jail, then I'm ok with it.

~

Keitaro (from Love Hina) was looking at the prospect of having Cassidy

Eriol: I'm looking for an Arnie for Anime Politics. You sure do look that part.

Eriol looked at Keitaro's 'not so musculur' arms.

~

Eriol was with Sora Takenouchi (Digimon 01).

Sora: I don't know. I'm definitely not going to be Governor in my Digimon 01 costume.

~

Eriol was showing a picture of Harry Potter to Samantha.

Eriol: How about Harry Potter?

Samantha: No way.

~

Eriol with Yusuke.

Eriol: Any Policy?

Yusuke: Not that I know of for now.

~

Eriol shows a picture of Son Goten to Samantha.

Eriol: How about Goten? Different Person, but same policies?

Samantha: That's like George Bush all over again.

~

Eriol: How about Lance as the governor of California? I mean, if he loses, he'll be the
Giovanni of California.

Samantha: I don't know.

*

Kero: Move over Arnie, as we have Lance coming in as Governor of California.

Eriol: Yes, anyone can be a politician, like Anime Idol judge, Daisy.

*

The newsband played suspenseful music.

Brock: "No! Not anyone, anyone, anyone but Daisy!"

*&Toros& KNNNN Sponsor: &Toros& Try the &Toros& new McAnimes &Toros& New Extra &Toros&
Happy Meal &Toros& with free &Toros& worker toy &Toros& and Retilin &Toros&*

Kero: Well, then, on to weather, as its now time for the Top 5 Tempreatures of the world!

*Top 5 Temperatures*

*Kero: And these tempreatures are for the equatorial Regions. In number 5 is...*

5. Jakata, at 38º celcius.

*Kero: In number 4 is...*

4. Manila, at 40º celcius

*Kero: At number 3 is...*

3. Miami, at 41º celcius

The news band did a drum roll and Brock was laughing.

*Kero: You liked that, Brock? Well, the number 2 tempreature is...*

2. Bombay, at 43º celcius.

*Kero: And the number 1 city with the highest tempreature is...*

The drum roll by the news band.

1. Mexico City, at a whooping 48º celcius!

*

The newsband played spanish music.

Brock: "Ohhhhhhh, put on a sombre-ro-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!"

Brock puts on a sombrero.

*

Eriol: Thank you Newsband. You're watching KNNNN: The Home of Newstainment. And before
the break, Did you watch the Medabots Inc. Crew last night, Kero?

*Spot on Spoof*

Kero: Yes, I did. It really hits right on the spot. If you haven't seen it, here it is.

*The Medabots Inc. Crew, courtesy of the Laughter Channel*

Ikki and Koji was at the newsdesk.

Ikki: Welcome to KNNNN: Koji's Nonstop Nonsense News Nitwits where I see that my autocue
is broken and I got nothing else to say.

(The auidience laughed.)

Koji: That's ok. I can buy you some time by showing you my new book, "How to Plug Books by
Koji-Beros."

(The auidience laughed.)

~

Sloan was on the TV as the Kanto Correspondent.

Sloan: And lets get a woman's perspective on the book, but unfortunately, we do not consider
Erika as a woman.

(The auidience laughed)

~

Koji: Which reminds me of my new book, "I work for a sexist network" by Koji-Beros.

*End Footage*

Ash: Ouch, that one really got spot on.

*

Eriol: And great sattire. Its good to see that you can have a sense of humor on yourself.

Kero: No hard feelings, guys.

Eriol: And after the break, we meet the make a wish kid who wishes for death.

*Break*

[KNNNN: Where truth is the last casualty]

*

~Nerd Lotto~

Naru Narusegawa (with her glasses on) was standing infront of some curtains.

Naru: Welcome to Nerd Lotto. Just recounting our numbers that were drawn earlier. Our
first number is pi.

[3.141592654]

Naru: Negative one hundred and thirty-two squared.

[-132²]

Naru: Log 15 Degrees.

[Log15º]

Naru: The derivative of x cubed over log(x).

[d/dx x³/log(x)]

Naru: And Beta equals X

[ß = x]

Naru: And finally our supplementry is 4.

[Supplmentry: 4]

Naru: Thank you for being with Nerd Lotto, where our grand prize will be jackpotted to
12.33 recurring million.

~

"You have seen the Emmy Awards...the Oscars...the MTV awards...but now, the awards where
journalists deserve...the KNNNN Populitzer Prize!"

10 Journalists from around the world...

10 Stories...

Vote off the dud...

"They are all up for eviction, Malcolm..."

Malcolm (in the Middle)

"Tracey..."

Tracey Sketchit.

"Seamus."

Seamus Macraker

"Vote on 1900 Journo-qual".

*Vote now!: 1900 Journo-qual*

"Hosted by last year's winner, Erika Tenryou."

Last Year's Winner: Erika Tenryou.

*End Break*

[Kero Beros - Chief Newscaster (Email: kero_b@knnnn.com)]
[Eriol Hiragizawa - Newscaster (Email: eriol_h@knnnn.com)]

Eriol: Welcome back to Kero's Nonstop Nonsense News Network: The Official Home of Newstaiment.

Kero: Yes, and the questions we are are asling is "Should Digimons be allowed to fight back?"

*

Brock: "NO!"

*Arming Digimon*

Kero: Hang on, you should not give your point of view that rashly, Brock.

*

[Ash Ketchum - Kanto Correspondent (Email: ash_k@knnnn.com)]

Ash: That's right, let us see the opinions of Pokemon Trainers of Vermillion City, where
the Gym Leader is American.

*Vermillion city*

[Ash Ketchum Reporting]

Ash was with Lt. Surge.

Ash: What do you think of the rights of using Pokemon attacks against people with
justification?

Lt. Surge: Very well.

~

Ash was with Officer Jenny.

Jenny: Yes, the right to use Pokemon attacks for justice is one way to get respect.

~

Ash was with Lt. Surge.

Ash: How about in terms of in the Digi-World, about letting Digimon attack whenever they
want?

Lt. Surge: I don't know. Its like Iraq all over again.

Ash: With you telling your electric Pokemon to attack the Iraqis? Nice try.

~

Ash was with Richie.

Ash: What if the Digimons use attacks against Pokemons?

Richie: Then, its the Pokemons' right to use their own attacks back at them.

~

Jenny: Its hard to explain about Digimon.

~

Lt. Surge: Its a different philosophy from here.

~

Richie: I do not think that they are intended to be trained, like Pokemon.

~

Lt. Surge: Any normal person can have their Pokemon to use attacks whenever they want.

Ash: What about Digimons?

Lt. Surge: That's a different story.

*

Eriol: And that was Ash in Indigo. And now its time for...

*

Brock and the Newsband were dressed as Zoid Pilots playing the chorus of the Zoids Japanese
Theme Song.

Brock: "NO FU-TURE NO FU-TURE NO FU-TURE NO FU-TURE..."

&Toros&*&Toros&

Kero: Oh no! The Toros Virus has infected the KNNNN Newsband!

&Toros&

Eriol: Who opened the attachment?!

&Toros&*&Toros&

Ash: Now its cloging up everything!

&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;
&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;
&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;

*It appears that we seem to have some sort of technical difficulties at the moment and
hopefully, it would be restored soon...*

*Break*

KNNNN Sunrise with Mokuba and Rini.

"Its Informative."

Mokuba and Rini were sitting at their seats.

Mokuba: Global poverty is rampant and it seems that tonight, 1.2 billion children won't be
eating dinner tonight.

Rini: Naughty, naughty children.

Mokuba: No, they're starving.

"Infomercial"

Rini had elstic bands around her thighs as its connected to a TV and Mokuba was sitting at
the couch.

Rini: Its very tiring but with this, I can watch TV everyday.

Mokuba: Yeah, that really helped with my diet.

Rini: The secret of the Elastic Remote is that when you're changing channels, you'll also
get to lose weight on your lower back abs.

"Infotainment"

Mokuba and Rini were looking at two large donuts on the table.

Rini: Believe it or not, these are the largest donuts I have ever seen.

Mokuba: I know, but I've seen bigger donuts in the world.

Rini: But compared to the giant ones, these are petit.

Mokuba: I can't stand it anymore, I'm going to take a bite.

Mokuba eats a bit off the donut.

[KNNNN Sunrise, with Mokuba and Rini - Starts at 6am everyday]

Mokuba and Rini were at the couch.

Rini: But if the children are starving, then why do they have big stomachs?

*

Tyson was running on a threadmill.

"Is exercising taking out the water?"

A Sports bottle filled with a drink appeared.

"Then Get Broggs Plus+!"

~

"With the strength of 54 beers in one glass, added with Electolites."

The beer had electrolites added, giving it more power.

"It takes more than water to burn the fat."

~

"Replenishing the alcohol that you lose through sweat"

~

Tyson drinks Broggs Plus+.

"Making you last longer..."

*Longer*

"Harder..."

*Harder*

"Drunker."

*Drunker*

Tyson faints and falls off the threadmill.

*Get Smashed, get Broggs Plus.*

"Lets all get Smashed Tonight!"

*

"At home with Eriol Hiragizawa..."

Eriol wakes up from his bed.

*Eriol: I'm just like every normal Anime character.*

Eriol looks out of his window to have a full nice million dollar view of the ocean.

*Eriol: I just have normal routines.*

Eriol walks to Nakaru who puts make up on Eriol's face and Suppi brought in some morning
coffee for Eriol.

*Eriol: I love kicking soccerballs with my son.*

Eriol's son kicked a soccer ball to Eriol and Eriol picks it up, signs it and kicks it back
to his son, who puts the soccer ball in a box with the words "Signed" and Eriol's son took
another soccer ball from another box reading, "Unsigned".

*Eriol: I also love chatting with my wife, Tomoyo.*

Tomoyo was talking as Eriol was watching the autocue to see what he wants to say.
It reads: "What did you say, Tomoyo-chan?"

Eriol: What did you say, Tomoyo-chan?

Eriol faces the camera.

Eriol: I'm just an ordinary Anime Character with an extraordinary job.

[KNNNN: Eriol Hiragizawa - Newscaster]

*End Break*

[Kero Beros - Chief Newscaster (Email: kero_b@knnnn.com)]
[Eriol Hiragizawa - Newscaster (Email: eriol_h@knnnn.com)]

Eriol and Kero were at the newsdesk.

Eriol: Welcome back to KNNNN. We do apologise for the Toros Virus worming its way into our
transmitter and we assure you that we will try to press on for a little longer.

Kero: But in other news, let us look on the annual Unemployment Festival in the town
of Gullible Gulch, Arizona. Konno Mitsune is on site at the moment for the festival.
Kitsune?

*

Kitsune was standing in front of a sign reading " Gullible Gulch, Arizona, the
Unemployment Capital"

[Konno Mitsune Reporting]

Kitsune: Yes. It is the festival that puts the town of Gullible Gulch, Arizona on the map,
other than Freedom Fighter's Reality Fanfic, Mystery Solvers, where one of my friends, Naru
was in. After the closing down of the textile factory and all three local banks, this year's
Unemployment festival is the biggest one ever.

In the background, cartoon characters who are residents of the town were picking up rubbish
on the streets.

Kitsune: And with residents on the Jobless Benifits, we have seen the crowning of this
year's Jobless Queen, in her third year in a row.

*

Ash: Is there anyway for us to speak to her?

*

Kitsune: No, Ash. As part of her duty, she is forbidden to do anything constructive and
she must fill out forms that she can't understand. And later on, Seaslug, as part of the
his role as the secratary for Employment, he will kick off the annual sack race.

*Jobless Joy*

Eriol: Its a jobless joy for the residents of Gullible Gulch, Arizona.

Kero: Yes, I've been to the town's festival before where I got this handy piece of art
and craft called an Unemployment diary.

*

Ash: And who should really need a job are those lunatic irresponsible kids from Lameass.

*

Kero: Tell me about it.

*

Ash: Someone should put a stop to this so-called "Youth Program" before someone is going
to get hurt. I mean, what sort of example should we set to our kids...

*Ad*

Kero Youth Channel: LameAss (Stunts are performed by trained Professionals and should not
be tried at home.)

Tai was showing some coathangers hanging off a ceiling as Tai has post-it stickers all over
himself.

Tai: Now I'm going to face the hanging Valley of Death, while feeling Post-it pain and
giving myself an electric nipple cripple.

Tai holds up two electric toothbrushes.

~

A person in a Pikachu suit pushes Tai on a chair through the hangers as Tai uses the
electric toothbrushes on his nipples.

Tai: Ohh! My nipple hurts! Lameass!

~Lameass: Thursday Nights, 8:30 PM, Kero Youth Channel, Kero's Kable Channel 13.

Tai was being pushed to some ice cubes on the floor and the person in a Pikachu suit was
rubbing a balloon on Tai's hair.

Tai: No! Not the ice cubes! Lameass!

*

[KNNNN: We Report, You &Toros& Believe]&Toros&

&Toros&*End &Toros& Break*&Toros&

&Toros&*Virus &Toros& Detected!*&Toros&

Kero and Eriol were at the news desk.

&Toros&

Kero: Will you look at that! The Virus has got into our system ID! This is getting out of
control!

&Toros&*&Toros&

&Toros&Ash's face was replaced by Bit Cloud's face!&Toros&

&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&

Ash: Oh no! The Toros Virus is taking over the world!

&Toros&*&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&

&Toros&Both Eriol and Kero's faces &Toros&were also&Toros& replaced by &Toros&Bit Cloud's
face!&Toros&

&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;

Eriol: Oh no! Ash, you're infected by the Toros virus!

&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&&Toros&

Kero: So have you, Eriol!

&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&

Eriol: You too, Kero!

&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&
&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&
&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&

Kero/Eriol/Ash: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! &Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&
&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&
&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&
&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&
&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&
&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&
&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&
&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&&Toros&a mp;&Toros&

&Toros&*And that concludes our live satellite feed of the cable news channel KNNNN.
We will now restore you back to your normal Fanfiction reading. Thank you for reading
KNNNN.*

*A/N: This may be first and last ever fanfic to be infected with a virus without infecting
other fanfics unless some other author opens an email attachment that has the words
"Toros", "Blitz Team" or "Zoids". And due to the Toros Virus, only one headline is avaliable:*

"Ash Ketchum is using Headline Message to open up to Parents."&Toros&

*A/N2: If Freedom Fighter is reading this fic, I'm sorry if I used the name of the town of
Gullible Gulch, Arizona without permission, but its the only town name I can think of using.*