Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction / Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Fistful Of Omake ❯ Rei Ayanami's Bet ( Chapter 28 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Another Worse Father Omake

by Gregg Sharp.

--------

"Well," agreed Greylle, "he *would* be a worse father than Genma. Almost guaranteed. Isn't he dead though?"

"Death is not the end, as you well know," reminded the albino girl.

"Kinda dark and all, isn't it?" Greylle loomed over the Well, which is fairly easy for a dragon. "i suppose it does fit though."

--------

Genma felt the presence looming closer, ever closer. He'd thought stealing from this shrine wouldn't be anything special. Boy, had *he* been wrong.

As skeletal fingers reached out to rip the soul from his body, Genma tried one last ploy. "Don't take me! Take the boy!"

Five year old Ranma, hiding, yelped.

Seeing the hands of the ghostly being had stopped, Genma was heartened. "Yes, he's young, he's vital! Take him instead of me!"

"Very well," whispered the cloaked figure, a cruel smile showing on the little amount of face displayed.

Ranma yelped again as invisible forces lifted him up.

"Come with me, my new padawan apprentice," instructed the late Emperor Palpatine. "You have much to learn."

-------

Nabiki and Soun ran to the door to see if this might indeed be Ranma. Both ran back into the living room a moment later. Not because of some wild panda. That *might* have scared them in other circumstances, but that was frankly as nothing.

The guy with the hood covering the top part of his face wore menace as if it were a cloak. No, as if it were his skin.

When he finally stood in the living room, he seemed to regard each of them briefly, then reached up to move the hood back.

Nabiki's breath whisped. Handsome yes. The scar along his cheek made him even more attractive. No way would someone call him cute though, there was a hard edge to him that made him handsome but in a starkly dangerous manner.

Soun knew better. Those were the eyes of a manslayer. No, a casual killer.

A kettle floated in and splashed the panda, turning it into a portly and very subdued looking man.

The kettle sat itself down on the table.

"Make this quick, old man. You have one chance to redeem yourself after the previous fiasco. Even showing me that village of potential troops will not suffice if this is another one of your braindead manuevers."

"Genma?" Soun regarded the bruised older of the two. "Then you must be..."

"Ranma Saotome of the Sith," responded the young and somewhat frightening boy.

"I could beat him," announced Akane, feeling threatened somehow. "I - GAKKK!"

Ranma had lifted one hand almost lazily and acted as if he were holding some invisible cup. "I find your pride misplaced and your statement ludicrous."

"URK..." Akane clawed at her throat, feeling as if a noose had been placed around it and it was growing tighter every second. "Ukkkk."

"Behave, little girl, or I'll do worse," continued Ranma. The cupped hand went flat and pointed at Akane.

Akane felt her throat released but now she was being pushed away.

"Ranma, Soun and I long ago arranged that our families be joined," began Genma. "HACK! Ukkkk!"

Ranma didn't even look at Genma. "Jusenkyo was bad enough. Trying to get me killed in that Amazon village was more amusing than anything else. Now this. Three strikes, Oyaji. Remind me to find my mother and punch her in the mouth for having anything to do with you."

"Ukkkk. Not..." Genma clutched at his chest.

"Oh this?" Ranma shrugged slightly. "A variant on the choking manuever. Instead of closing around your throat, I slowly crush your heart within your chest. Interesting variation, don't you think?"

"Ukkkk!" Genma flopped back on his back, clawing at his gi.

"And now, Oyaji," said Ranma with a slight pause and absolutely matter-of-fact manner, "you *will* die."

"No, ukkkkk, you *must* marry," Genma gasped out. The world seemed to pause.

If Ranma were engaged to Kasumi, there was a chance that calm and gentle would ease the raging beast in Ranma's heart. If Ranma were engaged to Nabiki, there was a chance that Nabiki would recognize the dangers and forsake her own dark path or would end up joining Ranma as a Sith.

"must marry Akane," finished Genma.

The universe cursed Genma briefly and went along on its current dark path.

"Amusing," said Ranma. Still, the youngest had considerable anger and pride. She might make a suitable padawan, turned to the forces of evil. Perhaps.

"ukkkk," said the almost dead Genma somehow still moving.

"Uhmmm," said Soun, who might be an obsessive idiot and a spineless weenie but still had trouble with the concept of having one of his daughters marrying someone who could casually kill their own father. Slowly.

Akane heard her own name being mentioned, knew that this violent person was in the process of killing his own father somehow, and reacted. Unfortunately picking up a table in order to brain Ranma with it was not the most clever move she could have made.

*vshttttt-vmmmmmmm.*

Akane blinked. Part of the table fell down, displaying that it had been neatly cut just shy of her fingers. There was also a stinging sensation in her right cheek and a mass of black hair on the floor.

Ranma turned his lightsabre off and clipped it back on his belt.

Akane's fingers came up and checked. She had very short hair now, as well as a cauterized cut just below one eye. She began to tremble. "You BASTARD!"

*vshttt-vmmm vmmm.*

Akane stared at the stump ending just below where her right hand had been. Then down at where a fist was in the process of unclenching itself. "What?! I..."

Ranma held the lightsabre near the girl's neck briefly as he saw the fight drain out of her. A glance at the other two revealed horror on one's face, and the other was in shock. The emotions flowing through the room were even better. "Yesss. You may be suitable. Hate, fear, despair. You may make a suitable padawan apprentice if you can embrace the Dark Side."

Genma had stopped moving.

"YOUUUUUU MONSTERRRR!" Soun tried his dreaded Demon Head Attack.

*vummmm vummmm!*

As their father fell dead to the side, his head bouncing out the door, Akane brought her eyes up to glare at the fellow that had wrought all this.

"Yes," said Ranma. "Hate me. Hate me and you will come to serve me!"

"Never," swore Akane, cradling the stump of her arm. "I will never marry you!"

"Who said anything about marrying you?" Ranma smirked. "If you hadn't noticed, I'm evil. Evil means self-gratification comes before all other concerns. You're evil too, I can see it in your heart - all that is needed is some basic instruction."

"No," said Kasumi, standing up.

Ranma didn't even look her way. "What can one untrained foolish girl do to me? No. I will take this pretty little bitch with me, and I will conquer Japan and rule it from the shadows. Get in my way, and you'll join your father."

----------

At the Well:

Greylle looked ill. "Just another Ranma gets Akane story. Admittedly you don't see both fathers dead at the end of the meeting usually, but still - it's been done and done and overdone."

"Oh?" Rei Ayanami cocked her head and regarded the dragon. "I thought the idea was to come up with a worse father than Genma. Doesn't this qualify?"

"Well, yes," agreed Greylle. "The amusing part is to cast someone in the father role who has a worse reputation but still ends up with a happier situation."

"I see," said the albino. "That's why no one has suggested Gendo Ikari then."

"Exactly," agreed Greylle. "Though maybe i'm just biased against the usual Ranma & Akane pairing and want to see something different."

Rei considered. "Then how about if the intersection point was moved to this earlier point, still on Coruscant but at these coordinates..."

Greylle blinked, his eyes swirling blue. "It may have been done before..."

-------

Three year old Ranma pouted. "I don't see what some wrinkled green muppet is gonna be able to teach me! EEEK!"

Said midget looked up, seeing four Sith smashing through windows and two more leaping through doors. Two carried rifles, two carried razor sharp throwing weapons with Smartlok(tm) guidance systems, and the two charging from the door ignited lightsabers.

*Vshhht-vummm-vshh-vumm-shshhh-shuuuu-vshkkk-vummm-vs hhh-shkk-vummm-vmmmmmmmmmm-vshht.clik*

Ranma's eyes occupied most of his face as the "wrinkled green muppet" put the lightsaber away. Assassins started coming apart.

"Right you must be. Nothing learn from me you can," agreed the little green fellow. "Go now you must. Building they will destroy to end my threat."

Ranma was not a complete idiot. At least not yet. "Unless we're not here."

"Learn you do," agreed the Jedi Master. "You must go if live you want. With me or without."

Ranma, in a moment of wisdom that would have escaped him entirely if this were the manga, decided to stick with the little green muppet.

He grabbed a couple of those weapon-thingies though. They struck him as being really neat.

------

Fifteen year old Ranma, now simply known as Ran, looked up at the sky. "He's coming."

"Not for another year. Eat your stew."

"I think I need to return," said Ran thoughtfully.

"Return you must. Destiny hard thing to overturn. Ready you shall be." Yoda shrugged. "Not Master yet, but Knight - perhaps."

Ran smirked. Praise didn't exactly come easy to Yoda. Especially after the disaster that was Anakin Skywalker. "There are others. Bultar Swan. Kyle Katarn. That Twi'lek girl. Obi-wan."

Yoda smirked himself. Ran got along better with some people than others. "All have their parts to play, and some destinies harder than others. Yes. Your future uncertain. Maybe you return here. Maybe you stay there. It is hard to say. Yes."

Ran sighed and went to the aged vehicle that had brought them here all those years ago. He straightened prior to entering it. "I do not see you here five years hence."

"Old I am. When eight hundred years old you are, see how spry *you* are," grumbled the aged being. "Though fight with Happosai would I relish."

Ran wondered who this 'Happosai' was but figured it might be something that his Master had foreseen. He'd have to watch for this opponent, who must be truly evil and powerful for Yoda to want to match skills with. "Goodbye Master, and... thank you."

Yoda nodded. In some ways, politeness had been the most difficult lesson to teach the boy. "May the Force be with you, my Padawan."

The ship had lifted off to become a dot in the sky when Yoda finally turned away. "You shall need it."

---------

Dimensional shunts were difficult, but he used the Force, and was one with it.

His ship gently slipped through atmosphere, avoided radar nets, and landed in a deep woods. Concealing it was easy, something he'd long practiced. It wasn't a particularly big craft anyway - a Jedi Starfighter with two seats. The hyperdrive cradle he'd left in a lunar orbit. If he needed it, it would be hidden until his return.

Now to see his parents and find out what kind of life his homeworld would offer him, or would he return. Even without Yoda, there were adventures to be had and causes to champion that would make that place his home.

Maybe he could help out Katarn. Or hunt down those pirates operating in the Daghal system? There were a few Hutt crimelords who oppressed entire worlds. For that matter there were worlds with troubled rulers who could use the guidance of a Jedi.

"'Adventure, excitement, a Jedi seeks not those things'," quoted Ran. Then he added the rest of the quote. "'Because those things find the Jedi more often than not.'"

-------

Ran tried not to throwup on seeing his father again. He wondered if his mother was using deathsticks or some other "recreational" drug, but he couldn't find any trace of it.

*These* were his parents? Ran could hardly believe it, and praised the Force that Master Yoda had taken him in. Who knows how he would have turned out if that pudgy man with the greasy mind had been the one to raise him?

The Jedi wondered *why* he had been hustled off on this training trip. *Especially* after scanning the area.

"Come on, Ranma!" Genma hopped around atop a bamboo pole. "Prove to me you are not some weak little girl!"

*SNAP!*

A tiny application of the Force caused a stressed piece of bamboo to crack at a critical moment. Genma fell down and went

*SPLASH!*

"I've asked you repeatedly to call me Ran. Is that such a difficult task? Eh?" A big soggy panda came bouncing out of the pool to attack him. More alarming was that the aura immediately identified this creature as Genma Saotome.

Ran flipped over the creature, then leapt clear of the springs. They were obviously strong with the Dark Side. No, on second thought they were more neutral. More like they encompassed chaos itself on some level. How odd.

"Sirs! You no want to fall in spring," began the Guide.

Ran had had enough of this and his hand made a sweeping gesture. "This was a foolish idea. We should go now."

"Growf grobble groof grooo," said the panda, suddenly realizing that coming here had not been one of his better plans and they should leave.

The Guide blinked. "Well, sirs, hot water reverse curse until next time... You want visit Amazon village while here?"

-------

The Annual Tournament was going full swing when the strangers arrived.

Genma saw the feast and made a beeline for it.

Ran looked around, feeling something...

Cologne felt something herself and came at full speed. A Chi Master.

Her eyes swept past the boy briefly then zeroed in even as his eyes locked on her.

After spending years studying under Master Yoda, Ran was not one to underestimate someone because of their advanced age or reduced stature.

Cologne saw a sixteen year old boy who had a mastery of chi and was so centered that he might well win a staring contest with a mountain.

Shampoo saw a panda starting to eat her feast and got very upset and started yelling at the boy she thought was an owner. "(Stupid Outsider, control your panda!)"

Ran looked at the girl and smiled and spoke in a calm tone. "You want to go beat up the panda who is responsible for this incident, not me."

Shampoo blinked and found herself relaxing a little. "(I want to go beat on that damn panda. Not you.)"

"You want to calm down and enjoy life more. You've just won a tournament, so you can be happy about that."

Shampoo began to smile, feeling herself continue to relax. Such nice eyes this Outsider had! "(I want to calm down and enjoy life more, after all, I *have* just won the Tournament!)"

"I can go about my business," suggested Ran in a calm friendly fashion.

"(You can go about your business,)" agreed Shampoo, turning and going over to play a quick game of beat-the-panda.

"(That was a nice trick,)" said Cologne as she noted this boy had a technique she did not and that he hadn't used it to harm Shampoo. In fact, from the sound of it, Shampoo had come off a lot better than she could have.

"You don't want to bother me," said Ran companionably.

"(Whatever kind of trick that was, it won't work on me, boy.)" Cologne looked him over. What a pity she couldn't engage him to Shampoo without some sort of pretext. The boy was tall, well muscled, and obviously an accomplished martial artist. Unfortunately, Shampoo was not exactly the brightest tool in the village shed and probably wouldn't do well with such a complicated boy.

"Can't blame me for trying," said Ran. "I am Ran. A Jedi Knight."

"You're Japanese?" Cologne pursed her lips curiously. "I didn't know the Japanese had martial artists of your caliber." Maybe a marriage expedition would be required, there were several young ladies of the village who had no suitors that they found suitable. If Japan were producing boys like *this* it was high time they took a better look at that nation.

"I've trained elsewhere. My pardon, Elder, I think we found this village in error."

------

Shampoo watched the boy carefully all the time he was in the village. Cute. Very very cute. Obviously a martial artist. Also whoever he was, he was good enough to get her great-grandmother's attention.

If he had been only cute, he would have been worth meeting. If he were a good martial artist, it would be worth checking him out further. A cute martial artist who appeared to be able to get the respect of her great-grandmother in a matter of minutes?!

Oh yeah, Shampoo was checking this boy out. Of course, she wasn't the only one.

When he left before anyone could figure out a pretense for a formal challenge, there was more than one sigh of disappointment.

When the Matriarch mentioned in passing that the boy had come from Japan and that there might be other martial artists of his level...

Reactions were mixed.

-------

Being almost dragged to the Tendo dojo, Ran wasn't sure what there was about this that even his usual Force trick of persuasion hadn't been able to get Genma to forget about it.

"These are my daughters. Kasumi, she's 19. Nabiki, she's 17. Akane, she's 16." The middle aged man listed them as if he were a maitre'd and these were appetizers on the menu. "Pick any one you like, she'll be your new fiancee."

Even with the Force, Ran hadn't seen this coming. "Excuse me?"

Nabiki eyed the boy and licked her lips. She (unlike Akane) *liked* boys. Particularly boys who had lean muscled frames, were tall and broadshouldered, and that she could describe with words like "yummy" or "cute" or "eyes you could lose yourself in" or "studly." There was the urge to leap across the table, wrap herself around this boy and yell "minemineminemine." There was no doubt who this boy would end up with, Nabiki thought to herself. Akane the lesbian misandrist? Kasumi who didn't like younger boys? Nope, Fate had just given Nabiki Tendo something to fasten on besides money - and this was a feast!

Kasumi knew that as the eldest, the duty should be hers to meet this obligation. However, the boy was polite. Polite was a virtue that for Kasumi would do a lot to counterbalance any other problems that might arise. While young boys were boring, immature, childish - this one seemed to have some dignity and a certain degree of maturity missing in many older men. He was also very handsome in a rugged lean manner like a gymnast, which a nineteen year old girl couldn't help but notice to some extent.

Akane hid a scowl. She didn't like the idea of an arranged marriage, and she just plain hated boys. Unfortunately this boy had yet to do anything like ogle them or yell or get insulting. In other words, he wasn't acting like the sort of boy that Akane was used to dealing with on a normal basis. So she was trying to be polite while hoping that some way to get *out* of this deal could be found. Also that she wouldn't be chosen. She had enough troubles, she felt.

"You really don't want to marry one of your daughters to a stranger," said Ran, making a sweeping gesture with one hand. "Maybe you should think this through a bit more."

Soun nodded. "I really don't want to marry one of my daughters to a stranger. I should think this through."

Three daughters blinked. One thought this looked awfully familiar. Two others were wondering if that had seen what they thought it was.

"I'm not actually a member of the Saotome School, I've studied another martial art entirely. Perhaps this should be considered." Ran sipped at his tea, apparently unconcerned.

"As you've studied another martial art, perhaps this should be considered," thoughtfully said Soun Tendo.

Nabiki eyed the odd gi Ran was wearing with new eyes. "So, you're a Star Wars otaku?"

"What's 'Star Wars'?" Ran asked.

Seeing blank looks on both fathers' faces, Nabiki wondered how to explain the movies to someone who had never seen them. "You know 'use the Force'?"

Ran smiled pleasantly. "I do. So you know of the Force?"

Akane snorted. An otaku. Bleah. Well, he should get along well with Kasumi then.

"Uhm, yeah," said Nabiki, thinking it a pity that such a stud was deranged enough to take things like that seriously. Oh well, she could play along with it. "So what kind of ship have you got?"

Ran felt the amusement radiating off one girl, the hostility from another, and the interest from the third. Hmmm. Why not? When they found out he wasn't planning to stick around, they'd drop this whole 'marriage' thing. Taking something that looked like a compact out of his pocket, Ran clicked it on so that a hologram of his ship rotated above the table. "This is it. It's an old ship but it gets me where I want to go."

Three daughters stared.

Genma shrugged. This wasn't martial arts, or food, so he wasn't interested. Soun was still puzzling over whether the engagement mattered if uniting the schools wasn't an issue.

"Uhm. Does this mean you've got a lightsaber?" Nabiki's eyes flicked off the hologram to a chrome cylinder she'd glimpsed at his belt when he'd pulled that little gadget out.

"Yes. I am a Jedi," said Ran, confused by the odd feelings he was getting from the three girls now.

"Can you show me?" Kasumi asked, eyes big. A closet Star Wars otaku, she was beginning to tremble.

Ran stepped outside and ignited his lightsaber briefly, then put it away. These reactions were quite strange.

Hostility had fled the mind of Akane Tendo like morning dew in a blast furnace. Ranma, or Ran as Akane reminded herself he preferred to be called, was not a mere boy. He was her ticket out of Nerima, away from the Horde Of Hentai - her ticket to a destiny where she was Akane Tendo the Hero! Where there was no conflict between being a tough and in control woman and you could be cute and feminine at the same time! She hadn't been interested in those gaijin films, Kasumi had dragged her to them, but she resolved to watch them with more attention now!

Nabiki had just rewritten this boy for the second time. From studly potential fiance to slightly deranged but cute potential brother-in-law to Ticket To The Big Time. It would be difficult to try and give up certain habits, but she could easily see herself in a sort of "Han Solo" role in interplanetary adventures. And here she was the fiancee of a Jedi! She could do things and go places that had only been dreams before, and all she had to do was reach out and touch those dreams!

Kasumi's eyes were hungry. Sure, she was a meek little housewife. However she was a meek little housewife who had always hungered for the sort of thing you just couldn't find in Japan. She had seen Star Trek when she was a little girl and had wanted to work in those 23rd century kitchens. She had wanted to be a crewmember on the Space Cruiser Yamato, and share a glass of wine with Space Pirate Captain Harlock. To board the Galaxy Express 999 and watch stellar vistas pass by. She'd loved the "Rose Of Versailles" but never wanted to visit it as much as she'd wanted to hang around with the Sailor Senshi or welcome back Captain Kirk after a hard away mission. To her, Ran was suddenly the culmination of a lifetime of frustrated dreams.

Ran had never been the focus of three gazes so intense that he felt almost as if he would combust on the spot.

"Well, I suppose family honor and all..." "Mine!" "Oh my, I guess that as the oldest, that I must..."

Three girls suddenly realized that they had all spoken simultaneously.

Ran had a very bad feeling about this.

-------

Two fathers had seen their children off with hopes that even if the schools couldn't be united, the families could be.

Three daughters were still arguing with each other about why *she* was the logical one to accompany Ran back to this other universe.

Ran wondered why that purple-haired girl from the Amazon village was stalking them.

Meanwhile, a girl who had been escaping from a master of tacky disguises was wondering what this parade was and why they were this deep in the woods.

Ran wondered who the girl with the big spatula was and why so many people were showing up in the woods in the middle of nowhere like this.

A lost boy noticed all the people and figured they were probably heading for civilization so he ought to follow them.

Ran got to the ship, pulled the camouflage net off, and stowed it away. "As you can see, it's a two seater. I need to be able to work the controls. So there's no way..."

"Kasumi, can you get your elbow out of my ear?" "Nabiki, I told you those shoes weren't practical, shouldn't you go home before you miss school?" "Akane, watch where you move your knee!"

Shaking his head, Ran took out his lightsaber and slashed a few branches off a tree. He expected that weighted down - the vehicle wouldn't climb all that quickly. When he turned around, he blinked.

"Pilot can sit in Shampoo's lap!"

"This really isn't going to work out," began Ran. He expected after an hour these girls would be dealing with circulation cut off from limbs. Oh, he could make it to where a bigger vehicle was stashed. It would take two hours and he expected medical care would be necessary for those three.

"Okay, Shampoo sit in nice Jedi Knight's lap!" Shampoo ignored the glares of death from the three girls behind her. The idea of being the first Amazon in space, of being some epic hero, and doing some serious swashbuckling was almost as good as the thought of getting away from Mousse. Heh.

Ran sat down and almost immediately the Amazon tried to get in. "No. Stay." Three extra bodies was enough of a problem. Adding a fourth would be a bigger problem.

Ryouga stared. A spaceship?! That meant that that guy was an alien and he was abducting those women! It was the duty of a martial artist to stop the bad guys!

Ran noticed that someone who had strong leanings with the Dark Side was attacking, used the Force to yank his feet out from under him, and started an immediate launch sequence. Of course, with his attention off Shampoo he found someone occupying his lap immediately thereafter.

As the cockpit began to close, Ukyo heard Tsubasa's voice, saw a means of escape, and took it.

Ryouga found his feet, and saw the ship heading off into the sky, though a bit unsteadily. For some reason the cockpit of the ship reminded him of those old pictures of a phone booth stuffed with too many people. "Don't worry, I'll rescue you!" How he was supposed to do this completely escaped Ryouga, but he couldn't let evil alien bodysnatchers steal Earth's women, could he?

-------

Two hours later, they'd docked with a larger ship.

Fifteen minutes after THAT, the three daughters Tendo, plus one Amazon and one okonomiyaki chef, were in an infirmary resting from their ordeal.

Ran wondered how he was going to convince them to return. Persuasion worked on the weak minded, though also on stronger minds when you were persuading them of something they were inclined towards anyway. A guard with a strong mind who was tired and just wanted to reach the end of his shift could very easily be convinced that he didn't actually see an intruder because he *wanted* to believe his shift would end uneventfully.

Each and every one of these girls was *convinced* that they were better off here than back home. Well, maybe after they'd tired of this place they'd be easier to persuade. He'd just have to keep an eye on them.

------

"TIE Fighters dead ahead," warned Nabiki, feeling that she had truly attained her destiny at the helm of a starship.

"Oh my, R5, keep an eye on things will you?" Kasumi asked of the squat little droid. The droid beeped back reassuringly.

"Shampoo at control of weapons console. Is only natural for womans of Amazon village!" Shampoo felt that she was in *her* element.

"Can't let the bimbo have all the fun," agreed Akane from the lower turret. "They're coming in range."

In the co-pilot's chair, Ukyo fretted. She hated having nothing to do in times like this but they'd played Rock-Paper-Scissors for the two turrets. Darn it.

Ran wondered why control of the ship and the situation had fled from his grasp almost as soon as the girls had gotten out of sickbay. What had he done to deserve this?

Then the Imperial Fighters were upon them and the Battle Of Endor was well and truly underway.

-------

At the Well:

"It's been done before?" Rei blinked, not seeing how this was possible.

Greylle nodded. "Almost certainly."

"Oh," said Rei. "Do you mind if I watch how it turns out?"

"Go right ahead," said the dragon, wondering if the approaching Exe or Batt meant that one of them had some new and innovative idea to try out.