Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction / Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Fistful Of Omake ❯ What If Misato Raised Ranma? ( Chapter 39 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]
omake

"Can't I get another try?"

"Like a makeup test?" One of the cloaked and masked beings nearby asked her.

"Yes!"

"Very well," said the mysterious being. "Join the others."

"Others? This isn't going to involve turning into a blob of LCL, is it?"

----------

Misato Katsuragi checked her PDA.

:Mission Briefing.
:Test For Rival Relief Office Placement.
:Better Father Than Genma Scenario.
:1) Rescue Ranma Saotome From Pit Of Cats.
:2) Raise Ranma To Be A Martial Artist As Best As Possible Using Cover Identity Provided.
:3) Get Him A Few Engagements/Rivals/Opponents Along The Way.
:4) Proceed To Nerima Japan - Tendo Dojo After 16th Birthday.
:5) Further Details To Follow.

Misato checked her folder. She was currently Captain Misato Katsuragi, JSSDF. Currently working with a bunch of deranged otaku over at Misawa AFB. Her eyes scanned the papers briefly, nodding at several points, and putting the appropriate cards into her purse to replace her NERV issued identification.

If she returned to her home timeline, she'd be dead within a tick of the clock. In which case her paperwork was not needed any more.

"Misato Katsuragi doesn't like to lose," she muttered into the cold misty morning air. "Now where do I find..."

"NOOOO! PAPA! I'll be good! Don't throw me in there again!"

Misato smiled lightly, checked her gun. "It's showtime, boys and girls!"

--------

Misato smiled down at her adopted child. It had been a strange request, but then it had been a strange trial.

After getting the boy from his father and placing that father under citizen's arrest, a number of crimes had been found to press charges against Genma Saotome. Nothing really major except the assault charges against a police officer who had attempted to stop him and two other panty thieves a few years ago. Still, the jury had been readily convinced that even if Misato Katsuragi was a "boozing violent ne'er do well" - she had attained the rank of Captain in the JSSDF and had a fair list of accomplishments. She was also being considered for several positions within the Law Enforcement community for when she got out of the JSSDF. While her personal life was a shambles that the Saotome attorney took great pleasure in ripping apart, it had been *nothing* compared to what the prosecutors had found on Genma Saotome.

Little Ranma had gotten disillusioned with his father during the whole thing. Besides, those Marines over there were pretty darn good fighters and knew some new moves.

"There's good fighters there?" Six year old Ranma asked his new guardian.

"Germany has a long and involved martial history," agreed Misato. "I'll be training with some of their pilots while I'm there, but we'll see if I can get you in with the 'head dojo' at the base."

Ranma grinned. He knew his father had just sold him off again. No doubt his Pop would be sneaking him off any time now. In the meantime this Misato gal was kinda nice and the food was pretty darn good and he was learnin' all sorts a stuff! Though he was kind of put off by some of the things those men had been saying about his father. Stealing food and supplies, runnin' over people, making promises and then running out - these were bad things?! Ranma had pointed out to everyone in the courtroom that these couldn't be bad things, Papa did them all the time!

"Let's see," Misato said, reaching down and trying to pull out her PDA. Then checking her purse. Then checking her luggage. She was beginning to panic about the time she remembered just setting it down at the dock and...

At the bottom of Tokyo Bay, a PDA quietly shut itself down.

--------

"How dare you ignore Asuka Langley Soryuu, the Red Rose of Götterdämmerung Grundschule (Goetterdaemmerung Elementary School)?!"

"Uhm, fairly easily," pointed out Ranma, then went back to ignoring the crazy chick. He had food to take care of, a much more important task.

"In the name of my martial arts," Asuka said as she leapt to the top of the cafeteria table, "such impudence cannot be forgiven!"

Ranma finished scarfing the "mystery meat loaf" and deliberately spat a pimento out at the redhead. It bounced off her forehead.

"You... you... Arschloch!" Asuka was not amused. "Soryuu School Of Martial Arts Special Attack! Lunch Tray Slam!"

Ranma flicked some jello out, then moved aside when Asuka slid off the table and planted her face on the bench. Sighing deeply, he took the unconscious girl to the nurse. "Third time this week. You'd think she'd learn."

Asuka mumbled something indistinct. If Ranma had heard that the only way to keep his attention had been to fight him, he would have been appropriately worried.

---------

Misato hadn't been *too* surprised to find Asuka here, she'd known that Asuka hadn't wanted to return to their original timeline either.

Arranging an engagement between Asuka and Ranma had been fairly easy. Especially considering who Asuka's guardian was. Though the thought of Ryoji Kaji as a grizzled middle-aged Interpol detective was certainly quite... Actually it did kind of fit, didn't it?

A few years at various military bases, taking Ranma along while doing some odd jobs. She was a security expert and tightening up security at some installations was just entirely too natural. Ranma got some training, sometimes from the local sensei like that Dhalsim guy in India, sometimes a local brawler like Colonel Guile (who Misato could admit had some smooth moves - not entirely confined to during a fight), and sometimes the underground fight scene like with that Blanca fellow. Oh and then there had been Chun Li. Couldn't hold her beer but someone Misato could respect despite the silly hairstyle. Who had dropped hints about two Chinese locations not on the map.

The visit to Jusenkyo had not gone nearly so well. Who knows what would have happened if they had actually made use of that training ground!

The letters back and forth to the other location of which Chun Li had hinted and which a call to a few contacts had nailed down - at least looked promising so far.

"Hello, are you Cologne?" Misato bowed. "I'm Major Katsuragi. Can we get out of this sun before we talk? It's been a long trip."

The old woman nodded. "So glad you were able to make it dearie. So this is the young man you're trying to get additional training for?"

"Yup. Ranma Katsuragi. He's spent years studying martial arts under some of the best military instructors in the world," Misato said proudly. "He can take apart a machine gun and put it back together blindfolded, pilot almost any military vehicle (he specializes in mid-air combat), and has studied under some pretty impressive martial arts sensei."

"So you heard about us and wanted to see what we can teach him, in return for which you will get us that equipment you mentioned in your letter." Cologne nodded. The Nichieju were self-sufficient. That didn't mean they didn't *want* some modern equipment and supplies.

"Already arranged," assured Misato. "One of the things you do over the years in my line of work is make some contacts. As long as its basic stuff like food, medicine, farming equipment, and the like - none of my contacts has any problem smuggling stuff into Chinese airspace."

"Oh dear," said Cologne. "He just defeated Vanilla. She just gave him the Kiss Of Marriage."

"The what?" Misato turned around. "REI?!"

"Hmmm, that's the most emotional response I've seen out of her. Interesting," said Cologne.

-------

A portly middle-aged man yanked another arrow out of his butt. Even he could admit this wasn't working. Try to enter one of those military bases and you had all sorts of people after you. Which wouldn't be too unusual except that these particular groups had all sorts of firearms and IR scopes and other unfair measures.

Try to enter that one village and some guy apparently made of rubber would start breathing fire on him.

Try to enter this village and there were a lot of women who apparently not only had some martial arts training, but regarded him as an intruder.

Sooner or later, though, the betrayer and the thief would be defenseless and he could strike!

-------

Some of this was beginning to amuse Misato. So far she was the only one who apparently remembered *anything* of the Eva units or NERV or any of that. Except a shadow had briefly passed over Asuka's face when she'd mentioned taking Ranma back to Tokyo, and that she had some piloting to do.

Still, she'd ended up getting out of the military and would be going into policework soon. The teaching gig was just temporary.

Getting a teaching degree had been fairly simple, the paperwork had been in place for quite awhile and she'd had to brush up on a lot of this to tutor Ranma anyway.

That wasn't the amusing thing though.

Asuka as a German prima donna kempo champ? Ok.

Rei Ayanami as Vanilla - a Chinese Amazon? Strange.

Maya Ibuki, a young teacher at Furinkan Senior High School? Really odd.

Ritsuko Akagi, the slightly sadistic school nurse? Odd, but somehow appropriate.

Kouzou Fuyutsuki, acting vice principal? Ok, she supposed. As long as Gendo didn't show up.

Slightly more amusing was that Maya's boyfriend and fellow teacher was Makoto Hyuuga. Looked like he reciprocated those feelings. Misato actually felt pretty good about that, feeling Makoto deserved better than to get hung up on her again when she didn't return those feelings herself.

Kensuke Aida, military otaku and sophomore? Fit pretty darn well actually.

Touji Suzuhara, tough guy who practically melted into sentimental slag around his girlfriend - Hikari - who perhaps fortunately went to some school for girls and not this one.

Shigeru Aoba was a music teacher, and looked a damn sight happier than he had been as Comm Officer at NERV.

Then there was the local weirdoes. If they'd been in her previous world, Misato didn't recognize them.

"Fair educator, I wouldst date with thee!"

*THWAM!*

"Stop hittin' on my Mom, you jerk!"

Misato was pretty sure kendo-boy there must be related to Kaji.

Why was that one girl so angry that Ranma had stopped those morning fights? It was only their second day here and already Ranma seemed to have picked up as many rivals/enemies as he had in two years in Germany or that year he'd spent in the Amazon village.

Misato made her way to the principal's office and then to her classroom. Perhaps it was a bit odd that her "son" was one of her students, but this whole school took odd to an artform.

She checked her notes and froze. No way. Well, on second thought, maybe she should have expected this. "We have two new students. Both transfers. Heh heh." Misato sent a glance towards Ranma's desk.

Ranma swallowed and made a couple of battlespeak hand gestures. A handy thing practiced by Black Beret Special Forces.

Misato replied back in the same mode. No, he was not getting out of this that easy. Just try to keep the property damage and disruption to the classroom minimal.

Not for the first time, Misato wondered what it would have been like if she could have substituted Shinji with Ranma. Other than when the chips were down and people's lives were on the line, Ranma wouldn't have folded like that.

A rap on the door. "Come in." Misato nodded. "Introduce yourselves."

"I'm Asuka Langley Soryuu, charmed I'm sure!" The redhead winked at the class.

"Vanilla," said the albino. "Though Katsuragi-san has given me the name Rei Ayanami on several occasions."

"Not on purpose," mumbled Misato.

Asuka sauntered over to Ranma's desk. "Well, liebchen? Nothing to say to your fiancee?"

"F-f-f-fiancee?!" Ranma was a little surprised.

"His is my airen," said Rei cooly, her look suggesting she was measuring Asuka for a coffin.

"NO! Ranma must marry a Tendo!" The door exploded as an overweight martial artist burst through it.

"WHAT?!" The violent girl in a seat near Ranma exclaimed. "Where did that come from?!"

"It's quite correct," said a middle-aged man with a moustache and long hair. "Ranma Saotome *must* marry a Tendo."

"But my name is now legally Ranma Katsuragi," pointed out Ranma.

"Don't bother us with the facts," exclaimed Genma and Soun together.

"Excuse me," said Asuka.

"Excuse please," said Rei.

*WHAM!* *WHAM!* Rei and Asuka nodded after knocking the two out the door.

"HEY! You can't hit my father like that!" Akane got up, protesting.

*WHAM!* *WHAM!*

Ranma took a deep breath. He'd barely gotten the window open in time before the two had knocked that violent tomboy out it. That could've been messy.

"Now," began Asuka, turning towards the paler girl.

*Clik-clak!*

"Now you're both going to sit down, shut up, and I'm going to start class, right?"

"Nice gun," commented Asuka from her new chair, which that one girl had obligingly given up to her.

"Very pretty is," said Rei in an attempt to be polite.

"Most ominous," said Mio, regretting her Tarot card forecast to stay home today had been ignored.

"I'm so glad you're all reasonable," said Misato.

-------

"Chinese Vulcan-wannabe," griped Asuka a month later as she left school.

Rei merely raised an eyebrow. Then idly kicked Hikaru Gosunkugi in the head before he could try pounding a stake into her heart.

Ranma sighed. Why was his life so complicated?

Tatewaki Kuno stared from nearby. The redheaded valkyrie, so passionate and fiery! The pale and ghostly girl, so vulnerable and yet so strong. Akane Tendo, so pure and tidy. The beauteous educator, so earthy and alluring. Gotta catch 'em all!

Hikaru Gosunkugi, convinced that girl was a vampire, wondered why the garlic and crosses weren't working.

Akane stalked forward. How dare those two keep beating her into the ground!

"Most ominous," repeated Mio, ducking as Akane flew past her head.

"Honey, you ain't seen ominous," Misato declared, "I've seen ominous. This is just amusing."

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Thanks to Helmut Steeg for correcting my German! ^_^