Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Coffee Break ❯ Oddity Runs Rampant ( Chapter 3 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: SaturnOolaa 
Nakuru sings her/his/it's heart out, Eyes on Me plays, Evil Tomoyo glorifies the name of Spaceballs, and the tentacle monster says stuff.
Anime/Manga: Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.31.2001 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.5K | Visits: 223 | Status: Completed
Nakuru sings her/his/it's heart out, Eyes on Me plays, Evil Tomoyo glorifies the name of Spaceballs, and the tentacle monster says stuff.
Anime/Manga: Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.31.2001 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.5K | Visits: 223 | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: I guess Tomoyo's dad counts as mine now, huh?
AN: Sorry this took so long... I'm alternating writing this with writing chapters of my original anime, Shadow Mirror. What plug? No plugging here... On a totally different note, I think the only person in this fic who is totally in character is Nakuru, and that's because it doesn't seem odd to me that she would be called a practical stranger 'Sya-chan'. The song she sings is your typical hyper J-pop fare. It's called 'Happy Summer Wedding' (o_O) and it's by Morning Musume. This chapter also contains a very blantant Spaceballs parody scene for the fun of it. ^_^;;
COFFEE BREAK
CHAPTER THREE: ODDITY RUNS RAMPANT
(Last Chaper: Syaoran's love for Touya became obvious, Nakuru decided to sing, Evil Tomoyo put step one of her master plan into action, and Sakura and Eriol ended up in Hammerspace, where they met Daidouji Shun and were attacked by a tentacle monster.)
Nakuru skipped cheerfully down the street, humming to herself as she searched for a karaoke bar. It was a beautiful day and she was enjoying herself. Of course, she usually was anyway, but it was still a beautiful day. Moving on.
"Hasta be one here somewhere..." she said, looking at the nearby stores. Which is why she didn't notice where she was going and bumped into one Mizuki Kaho.
"Kaho-san!" she exclaimed, grinning and hugging her. "I thought you were in England right now! Glad you're here!"
The woman kindly but firmly shoved Nakuru off her person and smiled back. "Hello, Nakuru. I was looking for Eriol, and Tomoeda seemed logical... do you know where he is right now? It's been so long since I've seen him."
Nakuru blinked in confusion. "Actually... Now that you mention it, I don't. He was with Sakura-chan a few hours ago, but he should have been back by now. I only left the house five minutes ago. Maybe he and Sakura-chan wanted to stay and keep on doing whatever they were doing?"
The look in Kaho's eyes was something that Nakuru recognised from her many shoujo manga. It was a look that people used to mean 'That slut better get her grubby hands the hell off my man', and was usually acompanied by bitchfights and extreme amounts of pain for bystanders. Nakuru hadn't been aware that Kaho was so... possessive.
She snapped back to reality as the schoolteacher's murderous look faded. "Well, Nakuru, could I just wait with you until Eriol comes back?"
"Sure!" yelled the girl. Guy. Magical being. "I'm looking for the karaoke bar, and if you come too then we can both sing! Yaaaaay!" Nakuru was trying to forget what she had just thought be being especially genki. Not that it was any different from how she normally acted.
"Sounds like fun..." replied Mizuki-sensei politely. "I think I'll come, but I can only stay until my meeting starts. Is that okay?"
"Sure!" giggled Nakuru, pointedly not asking the obvious question. "Let's go! I know you have a horrible sense of direction, but between the two of us we'll find our way..."
***
"Aa, 'tousan 'kaasan..." sung Nakuru happily, giggling and clutching the microphone like it was her last link to sanity. "Aa, kansha shitemasu..."
It's not that Nakuru was a bad singer. She was just a very... original... one. She could hit notes that no person in their right mind would dream of, and so she did. Painfully often. But overall, she was a fairly good singer. Really she was.
These were the thoughts running through Kaho's mind as she watched the interesting preformance. Until Kero-chan and Syaoran walked through the door, thus setting her off on an entirely different train of thought.
"Oi!" yelled Kero-chan, waving a fluffy yellow arm. "Mizuki-san! Nice to see ya!" Semi-dragging Syaoran over to where the woman was sitting, Kero-chan sat on the table and pushed Syaoran into a chair.
"What's wrong with him?" asked Kaho, looking at Syaoran. He seemed out of it to the point where drugs must have been involved.
Kero-chan sweatdropped. "Well, y'see... It's this really weird thing... Whenever he sees that guy, or hears his name, or anything, he goes all... dreamy and stuff..."
"What guy?"
"Sakura's older brother."
"What, you mean-"
"DON'T SAY THE NAME!"
"-Touya?"
A blush spread across the face of the Chinese boy, who sighed happily as the world around him turned into flowers and bubbles. Sappy violin music drifted through the air. Everything was glowing pink, little rosebushes were crawling up the chairs and bursting into full bloom- you get the picture.
Nakuru stopped singing as the strings rendition of 'Eyes on Me' drowned out her karaoke. She looked down from the stage to see one very infatuated Syaoran Li.
"Kawaii Kawaii!" she squealed, jumping down and running to poke at him in typical hyperactive fashion. "Who's Sya-chan in love with?"
"Uh..." muttered Kero-chan. "I don't think he's in love, ya know..."
Nakuru shook her head vehemently. "Of course he is! You see this sort of thing allll the time in shoujo manga!"
"We're not in a shoujo manga." replied Kero-chan. The author kindly chose not to point out the obvious irony in this statement.
"But still..." Nakuru whined. "It looks like love to me!"
"Actually, I agree with you." said Kaho. "He's in a state only caused by either true love or thoughts of it. Sakura-chan refers to it as 'hanyaan'."
"Hanyaan?"
"Hanyaan."
"How'd she come up with that?"
"Probably the same way she got into the habit of saying 'hoe'."
"Ah."
***
Evil Tomoyo grinned, knocking Touya to the ground. "You can't stop me from killing Sakura-chan! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!"
Syaoran charged at her, sword in hand. "How dare you hurt my friends!"
Evil Tomoyo, with unusual strength for an upper-class primary schoolgirl, tossed Syaoran around above her head before throwing him into the pile that now consisted of Touya plus half of Tomoeda.
Millions of Sakura in various frilly costumes rose to attack her with the Clow Cards, and Evil Tomoyo defeated them all. She was having the time of her life.
Meiling cowered helplessly in a corner. "You... you monster!" she whimpered.
"Yes..." breathed Evil Tomoyo, stalking towards her with whips and chains in hand. "I'm a monster, am I...?"
Meiling said nothing, just cowered in a way vaguely remenicent of lolicon doujinshi. Evil Tomoyo continued her advance, seducing up to Meiling and-
For the sake of the readers, (and to keep our rating) the following actions will not be described.
"NO! NO! STOP! EEEEEK! And yet... I find you strangely attractive..."
"It's the inherent anime lesbian charm, Meiling-chan. It gets 'em every time."
The aforementioned Chinese girl walked into the room, carrying a large serving platter heaped with Pocky. "Dinner is ready..."
Evil Tomoyo frightenedly cluched the Cardcaptor Sakura Heavy-Duty Action Figures Featuring All Your Favorite Characters (courtesy of Piffle Princess) to her chest. "Meiling-chan, you didn't see anything! Right? You didn't see!"
Meiling heaved a long-suffering sigh. "No, Tomoyo-sama. I didn't see you playing with your dolls again."
"That's *Evil* Tomoyo-sama, Meiling-chan."
***
"Roar." said the tentacle monster. "I'm bored and have nothing better to do with my time than tentecle various Japanese women and girls, despite the fact that they are not of my species and thus should not be attracting me in the first place. Fear me."
Half the female workers fainted, and Sakura gulped and turned green.
"Don't worry, Sakura-san." said Eriol, shielding her protectively. "Daidouji-san and I will make sure it can't hurt you or anyone else."
Shun nodded.
"What's that thing?" asked Sakura, in a display of clulessness that could only be preformed by a shoujo manga heroine.
Eriol sweatdropped, despite the fact that Eriol would probably not sweatdrop even if the Tokyo Tower landed on his head and the magic knights popped out of it to say hi. "Well... I'll tell you when you're older, okay?"
Sakura shrugged and nodded. "Alright, I guess. Anyway... what are we gonna do now, Eriol-kun? I don't think it came here for cake and tea..."
Eriol's eyes narrowed. "I'm going to fight it."
"No! You can't!" said Sakura worriedly. "You'll get hurt! I know you're strong, but... that thing's huge! And mean! And... I don't want you to get injured..."
Eriol smiled mildly evilly at her, before running off towards the monster. "Don't worry about me, Sakura-san. I can't die. The author loves me."
"No, she doesn't!" called a rather squeaky and booming voice from the general direction of the sky. "You're a freak, and the cause of all those dubbie E+T fics!"
Shun slapped his forehead and groaned. "Self insertation. Now I *know* we're screwed."
TO BE CONTINUED...
What will happen to Syaoran in his 'hanyaan' state? What is Kaho's meeting? Will Eriol defeat the tentacle monster? Will Meiling manage to remain a virgin in the face of extreme anime lesbian charm? Hopefully. Lolicon is *so* not my thing. Keep waiting for the next chapter of Coffee Break!
AN: Sorry this took so long... I'm alternating writing this with writing chapters of my original anime, Shadow Mirror. What plug? No plugging here... On a totally different note, I think the only person in this fic who is totally in character is Nakuru, and that's because it doesn't seem odd to me that she would be called a practical stranger 'Sya-chan'. The song she sings is your typical hyper J-pop fare. It's called 'Happy Summer Wedding' (o_O) and it's by Morning Musume. This chapter also contains a very blantant Spaceballs parody scene for the fun of it. ^_^;;
COFFEE BREAK
CHAPTER THREE: ODDITY RUNS RAMPANT
(Last Chaper: Syaoran's love for Touya became obvious, Nakuru decided to sing, Evil Tomoyo put step one of her master plan into action, and Sakura and Eriol ended up in Hammerspace, where they met Daidouji Shun and were attacked by a tentacle monster.)
Nakuru skipped cheerfully down the street, humming to herself as she searched for a karaoke bar. It was a beautiful day and she was enjoying herself. Of course, she usually was anyway, but it was still a beautiful day. Moving on.
"Hasta be one here somewhere..." she said, looking at the nearby stores. Which is why she didn't notice where she was going and bumped into one Mizuki Kaho.
"Kaho-san!" she exclaimed, grinning and hugging her. "I thought you were in England right now! Glad you're here!"
The woman kindly but firmly shoved Nakuru off her person and smiled back. "Hello, Nakuru. I was looking for Eriol, and Tomoeda seemed logical... do you know where he is right now? It's been so long since I've seen him."
Nakuru blinked in confusion. "Actually... Now that you mention it, I don't. He was with Sakura-chan a few hours ago, but he should have been back by now. I only left the house five minutes ago. Maybe he and Sakura-chan wanted to stay and keep on doing whatever they were doing?"
The look in Kaho's eyes was something that Nakuru recognised from her many shoujo manga. It was a look that people used to mean 'That slut better get her grubby hands the hell off my man', and was usually acompanied by bitchfights and extreme amounts of pain for bystanders. Nakuru hadn't been aware that Kaho was so... possessive.
She snapped back to reality as the schoolteacher's murderous look faded. "Well, Nakuru, could I just wait with you until Eriol comes back?"
"Sure!" yelled the girl. Guy. Magical being. "I'm looking for the karaoke bar, and if you come too then we can both sing! Yaaaaay!" Nakuru was trying to forget what she had just thought be being especially genki. Not that it was any different from how she normally acted.
"Sounds like fun..." replied Mizuki-sensei politely. "I think I'll come, but I can only stay until my meeting starts. Is that okay?"
"Sure!" giggled Nakuru, pointedly not asking the obvious question. "Let's go! I know you have a horrible sense of direction, but between the two of us we'll find our way..."
***
"Aa, 'tousan 'kaasan..." sung Nakuru happily, giggling and clutching the microphone like it was her last link to sanity. "Aa, kansha shitemasu..."
It's not that Nakuru was a bad singer. She was just a very... original... one. She could hit notes that no person in their right mind would dream of, and so she did. Painfully often. But overall, she was a fairly good singer. Really she was.
These were the thoughts running through Kaho's mind as she watched the interesting preformance. Until Kero-chan and Syaoran walked through the door, thus setting her off on an entirely different train of thought.
"Oi!" yelled Kero-chan, waving a fluffy yellow arm. "Mizuki-san! Nice to see ya!" Semi-dragging Syaoran over to where the woman was sitting, Kero-chan sat on the table and pushed Syaoran into a chair.
"What's wrong with him?" asked Kaho, looking at Syaoran. He seemed out of it to the point where drugs must have been involved.
Kero-chan sweatdropped. "Well, y'see... It's this really weird thing... Whenever he sees that guy, or hears his name, or anything, he goes all... dreamy and stuff..."
"What guy?"
"Sakura's older brother."
"What, you mean-"
"DON'T SAY THE NAME!"
"-Touya?"
A blush spread across the face of the Chinese boy, who sighed happily as the world around him turned into flowers and bubbles. Sappy violin music drifted through the air. Everything was glowing pink, little rosebushes were crawling up the chairs and bursting into full bloom- you get the picture.
Nakuru stopped singing as the strings rendition of 'Eyes on Me' drowned out her karaoke. She looked down from the stage to see one very infatuated Syaoran Li.
"Kawaii Kawaii!" she squealed, jumping down and running to poke at him in typical hyperactive fashion. "Who's Sya-chan in love with?"
"Uh..." muttered Kero-chan. "I don't think he's in love, ya know..."
Nakuru shook her head vehemently. "Of course he is! You see this sort of thing allll the time in shoujo manga!"
"We're not in a shoujo manga." replied Kero-chan. The author kindly chose not to point out the obvious irony in this statement.
"But still..." Nakuru whined. "It looks like love to me!"
"Actually, I agree with you." said Kaho. "He's in a state only caused by either true love or thoughts of it. Sakura-chan refers to it as 'hanyaan'."
"Hanyaan?"
"Hanyaan."
"How'd she come up with that?"
"Probably the same way she got into the habit of saying 'hoe'."
"Ah."
***
Evil Tomoyo grinned, knocking Touya to the ground. "You can't stop me from killing Sakura-chan! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!"
Syaoran charged at her, sword in hand. "How dare you hurt my friends!"
Evil Tomoyo, with unusual strength for an upper-class primary schoolgirl, tossed Syaoran around above her head before throwing him into the pile that now consisted of Touya plus half of Tomoeda.
Millions of Sakura in various frilly costumes rose to attack her with the Clow Cards, and Evil Tomoyo defeated them all. She was having the time of her life.
Meiling cowered helplessly in a corner. "You... you monster!" she whimpered.
"Yes..." breathed Evil Tomoyo, stalking towards her with whips and chains in hand. "I'm a monster, am I...?"
Meiling said nothing, just cowered in a way vaguely remenicent of lolicon doujinshi. Evil Tomoyo continued her advance, seducing up to Meiling and-
For the sake of the readers, (and to keep our rating) the following actions will not be described.
"NO! NO! STOP! EEEEEK! And yet... I find you strangely attractive..."
"It's the inherent anime lesbian charm, Meiling-chan. It gets 'em every time."
The aforementioned Chinese girl walked into the room, carrying a large serving platter heaped with Pocky. "Dinner is ready..."
Evil Tomoyo frightenedly cluched the Cardcaptor Sakura Heavy-Duty Action Figures Featuring All Your Favorite Characters (courtesy of Piffle Princess) to her chest. "Meiling-chan, you didn't see anything! Right? You didn't see!"
Meiling heaved a long-suffering sigh. "No, Tomoyo-sama. I didn't see you playing with your dolls again."
"That's *Evil* Tomoyo-sama, Meiling-chan."
***
"Roar." said the tentacle monster. "I'm bored and have nothing better to do with my time than tentecle various Japanese women and girls, despite the fact that they are not of my species and thus should not be attracting me in the first place. Fear me."
Half the female workers fainted, and Sakura gulped and turned green.
"Don't worry, Sakura-san." said Eriol, shielding her protectively. "Daidouji-san and I will make sure it can't hurt you or anyone else."
Shun nodded.
"What's that thing?" asked Sakura, in a display of clulessness that could only be preformed by a shoujo manga heroine.
Eriol sweatdropped, despite the fact that Eriol would probably not sweatdrop even if the Tokyo Tower landed on his head and the magic knights popped out of it to say hi. "Well... I'll tell you when you're older, okay?"
Sakura shrugged and nodded. "Alright, I guess. Anyway... what are we gonna do now, Eriol-kun? I don't think it came here for cake and tea..."
Eriol's eyes narrowed. "I'm going to fight it."
"No! You can't!" said Sakura worriedly. "You'll get hurt! I know you're strong, but... that thing's huge! And mean! And... I don't want you to get injured..."
Eriol smiled mildly evilly at her, before running off towards the monster. "Don't worry about me, Sakura-san. I can't die. The author loves me."
"No, she doesn't!" called a rather squeaky and booming voice from the general direction of the sky. "You're a freak, and the cause of all those dubbie E+T fics!"
Shun slapped his forehead and groaned. "Self insertation. Now I *know* we're screwed."
TO BE CONTINUED...
What will happen to Syaoran in his 'hanyaan' state? What is Kaho's meeting? Will Eriol defeat the tentacle monster? Will Meiling manage to remain a virgin in the face of extreme anime lesbian charm? Hopefully. Lolicon is *so* not my thing. Keep waiting for the next chapter of Coffee Break!