Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Intruder ❯ Entry Two ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Intruder
 
I've decided to continue this fanfic. I think I can develop this into something more so… yeah… enjoy and don't forget to review! They mean a lot to me. :D
 
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Entry 2:
 
Oh yay! You've decided to continue invading my personal diary! Splendid. It's quite addicting isn't it? Reading about another person's life and all. Don't worry. I don't blame you. It's a natural instinct for people to like reading this kind of stuff.
 
Well at least now you know the beginning and how it ended my perfect childhood. From then on, everything changed. The once happy Kinomoto family was gone and in its place was a dark and gloomy family. And me. The sunshine of the family. Well, let's just say there's been an eclipse of some sort and now, all gone!
 
I'll go back to the background information I was giving. Anyways, where was I yesterday in entry one… oh.
 
That's right. I killed her.
 
Well I guess if you were to argue with me, we could say that I didn't kill her but c'mon. Who was the one who wanted ice cream and strawberry crème at that? Who was it who begged for her to walk across the street? If you remember correctly and guessed me, you're a genius. I wasn't the only one who formed this sound logic though; my father, brother, external family, friends… they all agreed with me.
 
Sure they didn't say it out loud in front of me or scream, “You're a murderer!” but it was just so obvious. Do you have any idea how hard it was to withstand those side glances? To hear those little whisperings that go on between kid to kid and adult to adult? To feel the hate emanating from your own brother? To witness the withering of your own father and know that you were the one caused it?
 
I doubt you've ever had to experience any of the above. If you think your life was bad, consider mine.
 
A few days after the funeral, I went back to school with the still stunned look on my face. Word had spread to my school that Sakura Kinomoto just lost her mother and she was to be dealt with very carefully. I had to give them an A for effort. Usually, when I don't do my homework, I'd get that awful sad face stamped onto my homework log. Now, I get neither the sad face nor the happy face. I get that word “excused” on my papers. Soon, the other children in my kindergarten class noticed my special treatment and they started sending me glares sharp as daggers. I had once been a girl surrounded by others and had once “belonged. Believe it or not, I was one of those girls who would talk about giving cooties and play House, the one where someone pretends to be your husband and someone your kid.
 
All that was gone and had become history after mother's death. In a matter of weeks, I had gone from being the one who gets to be the wife of the family in House to someone who's just a bystander. I didn't even try to make friends anymore that year. It wasn't just my friends who abandoned me, so did my family.
 
They saw me as the murderer I was and they blamed everything on me. Eating dinner with Touya and father was torturous. Every day, I would have to endure the contorted looks on their face whenever something reminded them of the beautiful Nadeshiko. Touya was 7, two years older than me, and openly discussed mother's death in a cynical tone in my face. Father will just look at me with sad eyes and shake his head and turn around. There was no one I could turn to.
 
I didn't know enough to start writing a diary back then. Heck, I barely knew my alphabets. So it was then that I became a disclosed loner. I'd watch the kids playing in the playground from a corner under the cherry blossom tree in the shade. I'd hide behind it, and listen to the pattering of footsteps rushing by and the gigglings of children playing tag.
 
“Tag! You're It!”
 
My head swung up at an uncomfortably close voice. Someone was just on the other side of the tree. I gasped and looked around, panic clear in my eyes. I didn't want anyone to find me. I didn't want to be discovered. Unknowingly, tears began forming once again in my eyes. I didn't notice them until a drop fell onto my skirt. My eyes widened and my hand slowly reached up. With the back of my hand, I hesitantly touched my face.
 
It was wet.
 
Shocked, I brought my hand down and gently rubbed my fingers together. I dropped down into a crouch and stayed there in the shadows, protected by my only friend, the cherry blossom tree.
 
See how pathetic my life became? My only friend: a tree.
 
Go ahead. Laugh. It's not as if I've never experienced being the laughingstock of the entire school, but that's later and years after my kindergarten year. It wasn't until my… 2nd grade year I think… that someone finally noticed me. The only reason why he did was because he was new to our school. Of course he'd take note of everything around him and who better than the girl who sat right in front of him? Besides, I always had to turn around to pass him his paper so it provided many opportunities for him to get to know me… well… try to get to know me I guess. I didn't give him many chances with my mouth clamped shut 24/7.
 
However, the more I kept quiet, the more he persisted in trying to open me up to him. He wasn't bad really. He came from China and his name was Syaoran Li. I didn't think anyone would ever try to talk to me again as a friend but he proved me wrong. Don't be mistaken. I was grateful to him. He became the only reason why I even looked forward to going to school. Although I kept quiet for the most part and ignored his friendly gestures and greetings, I was actually enjoying the attention he was giving me.
 
Psst! I'll tell you a secret. Guess what? I liked him.
 
Teehee.
 
Everything nice has to end sometime though and eventually, he heard about it, mother's death and how I played into part. The change was instant. He began looking at me first with analytic eyes, like he was searching for the killer within me. Then, it grew to disgust. His friendly attempts of opening me up stopped and I was crushed.
 
My one chance at reentering society… gone. To be honest, I sort of expected it. Someone who is as unlucky as me having her crush as a friend? Impossible. Someone who is as unlucky as me having her crush actually like her back? What the hell.
 
Soon, I noticed his attention focused on another girl. This was in third grade by the way. Gotta keep up with the pace you intruder. She was pretty and she had a nice voice. Her name was Tomoyo Daidouji. She was new in my third grade year and immediately after adjusting to the school, the boys started flocking towards her. All she did was flash them her smile and within seconds, they became her prey. Our class had to do a musical that year for Christmas. Guess who got the solo part? Tomoyo.
 
I wasn't kidding when I complimented her voice. When she sang, she gained the attention of everyone in the crowd and immediately got their approval. She stood out in the center and stepped up to the mike. Her doll-like olive-skinned face was watched the whole time as she enchanted everyone with her voice. Even I was drawn in and I couldn't even see her face, just her voice was enough.
 
Oh where was I? Why, how kind of you to ask! I was waaay in the back, hidden just in case I bring shame to my teacher. Wonderful isn't it? The way people's selfishness always dominate their minds.
 
I want to clear things up for you naïve adults out there. Romance is possible in 3rd grade. Believe me, it is. 3rd grade is the age when kids start growing out of cooties, playing house, being a teacher's pet. 3rd grade is the age when they start cussing, talking about “privates”, guys/girls, laughing at the teacher, discussing crushes… amazing what can go on in the minds of eight year olds.
 
But, I admit, it wasn't a time when they had the guts to actually ask each other out and so I had to endure a couple more years of guys dancing around Tomoyo. The strange thing is though… Tomoyo actually wanted to befriend me, just like Syaoran had. It happened in 5th grade when I saved Tomoyo from falling flat on her face.
 
The shriek of a whistle pierced the air.
 
“Alright!” roared the coach, “I want you all divide yourself into three lines behind the hurdles.” Slowly, the kids shuffled into their lines according to who was in which line. I stuck myself in a random line. It so happened that Tomoyo was in back of me. My back was turned to her but I was listening. She and a group of girls were discussing who's cute and who's not and like always, Tomoyo had all of their attention. One by one, people leapt over the hurdle, some graceful and some… not so graceful.
 
“Daidouji! You're up!”
 
Tomoyo faced the hurdle and sucked in a big breath. Her little groupie was cheering for her, “Go Tomoyo!”
 
“You can do it!”
 
“We loooove you!”
 
Giggles all around.
 
Tomoyo flashed her smile and started rushing up towards the hurdle but she made the biggest mistake anyone could make when jumping a hurdle.
 
She hesistated.
 
The moment her feet were on the ground, I knew she didn't have the guts to jump the hurdle and the results didn't come out pretty. She leapt over the hurdle but her sneakers caught the hurdle by about two inches. Her eyes widened as she knocked over the hurdle and came crashing down. I didn't even think. I was under her in a second and I caught her at the elbow. People around me clapped at my heroic act while I just stood there stunned by what I had just done. Immediately, my arms retracted and Tomoyo steadied herself. If she had landed on her face, bloodshed would've been inevitable. The ground was rough and full of sharp pebbles that would prove fatal to her pretty face.
 
While I was backing away, she looked at me and whispered, “Thank you Sakura-chan.”
 
Just when I was about to run off, I did a double-take at what she had said. The word “Sakura-chan” played in my head a couple of times. Mother's lectures on manners rushed back to me. It's been years since anyone had called me that and, once again, I lost control of my actions and I muttered, “You're welcome Tomoyo-san.” With that, I ran off. I was weak mentally, but I was strong physically. I was the most athletic girl in my grade and when I wanted to run, no one can catch me.
 
I did want to run. I didn't want myself to start warming up to anyone. And so, I ran. I ran straight to the restrooms and into a stall. I huddled up on the toilet seat and just sat there, the rest of the day, contemplating over my previous deed.
 
That day became another one of my life's turning points.