Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Song of the Rain ❯ Song of the Rain ( Chapter 1 )

Challenge: Fic must have something to do with rain

Line: I'm in love with the ordinary

Length: Over 700 words

 

Phantomness: Well, here goes!

Title: Untitled
Pairing: Yue x Syaoran and Yukito x Syaoran. Heh.

Canon: Not really

Notes: Angst, darkfic, shota, shonen-ai,

 

When he stepped off the plane, there was no one waiting. He did not expect there to be anyone waiting. After all, no one knew that he had returned to Tomoeda… and no one would care.

Syaoran had left immediately after the Final Judgment, barely waiting the few days it was necessary for himself to heal after that encounter with Yue. The prevailing instinct in his mind had been to escape, to flee, to get out of there before he was hurt more, and so he'd fled home.

However, home had no longer remained a refuge. His mother's words were few, but weighed heavily with disappointment. The Elders laughed at him and mocked his failure, and they meted out the worst punishment of all.

They had taken his magic away, held him down while the spider demons summoned had violated him and eaten his magic, every last scrap of it. He'd been sick for weeks afterwards, retching up everything he ate in the memory of those horrible claws sliding over his bare skin, the clackity click and in the background, muffled cries and laughter, jarring laughter that rang in his mind even now, like the pitter-patter of raindrops in an endless round of Chinese water torture…

He had returned to Tomoeda, because there was nowhere else for him to go. He still received a small allowance, enough to live on but nothing luxurious, but he didn't care anymore.

He wanted to die.

 

They had taken his sword and his spells, but they had not been able to erase his knowledge. He still knew how to do magic, all the spells and fighting that had been crammed into his mind while they had groomed him to become a card captor. So much for the future head of the Li Clan now, Syaoran thought bitterly. His fighting skills remained, but without the flow of magic to steady him and stabilize him, he was loath to continue. What was the use?

What was the use of anything?

However, his body tenaciously clung to life, spider-silk stronger than forged steel in his will, and so he drifted in an apathetic stage, not watching, even as he traced the steps to Tomoeda Elementary and sat down behind Sakura, heedless of the rain dampening his hair and running down his cheeks in a parody of tears.

He had to stay here, even if he couldn't do anything. This was the place of his failure - he might as well continue to watch the events play out…

 

“Li-kun? Class is over.” Sakura turned to face the boy. He was being really quiet today, and even though it was the first day of school, she hadn't thought he'd be that tired. Maybe it was just the dark clouds outside affecting her mood though…

“Thank you, Kinimoto-san.” He replied, and then got up. He walked outside and down the sidewalk, not even bothering to avoid the puddles. Sakura watched him leave, and then she turned to Tomoyo-chan with a smile and they went off to Twin Bells.

“What did you think of Hiirigizawa-kun?”

“He seems really nice!” Sakura smiled. Tomoyo nodded and the girls prattled as they walked down the road, not noticing the boy.

He opened the door to his apartment and closed it behind him, put on his slippers and quietly padded to his room, opened the window and began his mathematics homework. It was still raining, gray and colorless.

This was hell. Hell was not a place, exactly, but it was more a state of being. He was a failure. He knew he'd failed. He had no magic anymore, and the damned Elders wouldn't let him die. He'd tried, but the blades broke against his skin and the pills came up as soon as he swallowed them, and when he'd jumped off the building - or tried to at least, he'd been frozen in place.

Suffer, little children…

 

“Li-kun?”

“Y-Yukito-san!” There had been rain the day before, but today it was sunny and bright. The gray-haired boy waved at him and he waved back.

Funny, how he had stopped blushing - or at least stammering. Perhaps it was because he knew instinctively that he had nothing left to lose.

Perhaps it was something else.

“Would you like to have lunch with me?”

“Hai, Arigatou.” He said politely, and that was that. He sat down next to Yukito-san and they had sandwiches together, and everything was going well until Eriol came up. Normally, it would not have been a problem since he hadn't really cared about their new transfer student.

Except that when Eriol came, Yukito transformed into Yue and called him `Clow'. That was not normal.

And then Eriol just held up a hand and Yue reverted back into his false form, and he tried to move to help, somehow, really he did, but he couldn't! It was so frustrating…

Then Eriol left, and even though he'd murmured a spell, Syaoran hadn't forgotten. He realized later that only people with magic could forget the incident. And he no longer had magic…

 

Then, only a few days later, he'd made an adorable teddy bear, and he had tried to give it to Yukito-san but Yue would have none of it, and that was when he lost his temper. “How would you know anything about love? You didn't even notice when Clow was here and you claimed to have loved him!”

Yue had hit him for that, but the pain had snapped his mind awake, at least a little, and he hadn't backed down, and he'd let Yue peek into his memories.

Perhaps, that had not been such a good thing. If the could have managed it, the moon guardian would have been horrified. As it were, he settled for somewhat disturbed. The Li Clan had always been somewhat shrouded in mystery, but now…

Well, Yue saw much more than Syaoran had bargained for, but he didn't care, not even when the moon angel tried to comfort him… until Yue let Yukito take over and he realized that Syaoran was in his lap.

 

“Li-kun!”

“Yukito-san.” Syaoran said, blushing as he climbed out of Yukito's lap, or tried to but was somehow prevented. It was only then that Yukito realized that his arms were securely locked around Syaoran's waist.

What had he been doing? Why couldn't he remember? And did it have anything to do with the fact that he'd lost his memory several other times already?

Did he have a split personality or something? It couldn't be…

“What were we doing?”

Syaoran blinked. “Nothing.”

“Really?” So he hadn't hurt the boy? No, Syaoran looked all right, if only a bit tired. Yukito hurriedly let go of him and Syaoran ran off.

What was that all about?

 

“Li-kun!”

“Yes, Kinimoto-san?” Syaoran asked Sakura the next day. Sakura shook her head, but after school, brought him to her house and showed him her new cards. Firey, Song, and Sword… they were a brilliant cheerful pink, but in his hands they still felt like nothing so much as varnished paper.

He almost broke down and cried, but he bit his lip and threw those emotions into a box and shut the box and buried it in his mind. He wouldn't think that way, he couldn't!

They really are… her Cards now.

I never doubted it… she was the one what won the Final Judgment…. And this is my failure… this is my punishment… I deserve it… I should have been more assertive in my quest for the Clow Cards…

I should have tried harder… and made my Clan proud…

I should have…

 

Kero-chan frowned as he studied Syaoran. “Gaki, something is different about you.” Cerberus could sense magic…!

He did not doubt that. He hastily set down the cards and ran out the door. He could not let them find out!

It was luck, or fate, he supposed, that he crashed into Yukito and sent him falling down the stairs, but luckily Yukito transformed into Yue before any serious damage could be done, and… actually, that was not a good thing, because the moon guardian found him crying in the bushes of Penguin Park only moments later. They were still wet, but he didn't care, and his tears mixed with the rain that had turned dirt to mud only days earlier, brown as his hair and eyes, a mockery of his features.

 

“Pathetic… so weak… I can't believe I called her that…” His nails dug into his hand, drawing blood, but he didn't care, at least this pain he could control, and as it wasn't life threatening, whatever twisted curse they had put on him would not affect it… “I'm so damned worthless… I wish he'd killed me during the Final Judgment… death would have been better than this…!”

Yue watched impassively. This boy was not his new mistress, and now that he had no magic, there was really no point in protecting him, even if he was one of Clow's descendents. And yet…

I want to die, the boy whispered, watching but not seeing, I want to die so the pain will end.

Sleep would do no good. Even if he slept, he would still wake and the pain would be as fresh as ever. Ah, but death, now that was different…

 

He felt movement behind him, spun around and noticed dazedly that the moon angel was white. White like the moon and heaven's radiance, yet…

His lips curved up in a pale mockery of a smile.

“Kill me.”

Yue did not respond, coldly glaring at the boy. It served no purpose, he continued to smile and he walked closer to the moon guardian.

And then cold blades bit into his flesh and he sighed in rapture. The storm had finally hit, and his torture would end…

 

Yue caught the boy as he fell into illusion. Foolish child, and yet, perhaps he would be of some use…

He did have Clow's blood after all…

However, it was too costly to stay out in his true form all the time, so he let his false form regain control, watching from behind Yukito's eyes as he discovered a fainted child in his arms.

This would be most enlightening…

 

Yukito blinked as he woke up, wondering why he was holding Syaoran, and covered with mud to boot. It was so odd! He'd woken up with Li-kun more than once now, and he suspected something, but… what was going on?

The boy gave a cry of pain in his sleep, and Yukito hurriedly picked him up once again, carrying him to his house. There, he put Li-kun to bed and made some tea while he tried to find the answer…

Why… what was going on? He'd been going to Touya's house, he remembered, and the next thing he knew he was in Penguin Park holding Li-kun. It made no sense!

What was his connection to the boy?

 

Yue laughed silently in the back of Yukito's mind. The illusion he had crafted was strong - Syaoran would relive all his worst memories and yes, it would be painful, but in the end, there would always be an angel to save him.

He was that angel.

Perhaps this was his revenge on Clow…

You broke my heart… so I'll break his. After all, Clow had died and was his master no longer, and even if he had reincarnated, Yue had made sure to be subtle. The reborn Clow - Eriol, was it? Would not interfere…

Besides, the boy would be beautiful in a few years, and he was patient…

 

Yukito was more than a little concerned when Syaoran didn't wake up for almost two days. Still, when the boy finally awoke, he seemed dazed.

“Li-kun? Do you remember what happened?” Yukito asked. He was unprepared when the boy hugged him.

“I remember.”

“Well, that's good!” Yukito said brightly. “What happened?”

Syaoran fixed Yukito with a brilliant smile. “You saved me from them.”

“I what?”

“They were going to take me away but you saved me...”

“Who was going to take you away?”

“My family.” Syaoran whispered. “But you saved me.” And before Yukito could protest, the boy had kissed him. It wasn't the kiss that struck him as odd, no, it was the shiver of dark pleasure he received from it.

He wasn't a child molester! He wasn't!

Still, he couldn't help the painful flare of ecstasy that shot through him, even as Syaoran pulled away. Yukito watched him head to the bathroom with a foreboding feeling… what was going on?

 

It's odd when there are two sides to a person, especially if they don't realize it, for one can damn and one can heal…

 

Wonderful, Syaoran decided as he washed his face and hands and found a spare toothbrush and such to use. Kissing Yukito was just like a dream, he tasted of fluffy cotton candy and Syaoran imagined little bunnies frolicking around under a full moon. Yukito was cuddly.

Yue, on the other hand, was breathtakingly magnificent… an angel of ice and diamond… he idly wondered what it would feel like to kiss Yue. It would be different, but probably no less pleasurable…

If only he wasn't so little!

It wasn't fair. It really wasn't! Yukito-san was too hung up about this sort of thing, and if Touya ever found out - Syaoran shivered at that thought. Touya was scary…

But Yue would protect him from the monster, so he would be all right…

 

Yukito winced as Syaoran came out of the shower, dressed in a pair of his old pajamas. They were hopelessly large and he was surprised the boy didn't slip, but…

Stopping that thought right now!

Syaoran smiled at him and then went to the kitchen where he made hot chocolate for both of them. Yukito accepted a mug with shaky hands, wondering just why the boy was so familiar with his house. For all he knew, Syaoran had never been here before!
And yet… if those blackouts he had matched up… had he brought him here?

What had they done? Was there more than just a kiss?

He felt ill, and hastily took a sip of the drink in his hand to stop himself and distract his mind. Brown eyes regarded him with a pure, unconditional trust…

No, this is wrong. I don't' have any idea what has happened between us but it stops now!

 

“Li-kun, won't your family be worried?” That seemed like a nice, neutral enough topic to bring up about conversation.

The boy's eyes saddened. “My family disowned me during the summer.”

“What? Why?” That made no sense. What had the boy done to deserve such a punishment? Li-kun seemed like a nice kid, if a bit rough around the edges, but why has his family disowned him?

“They left me here in Tomoeda. I get an allowance. They've forbidden anyone to contact me.” He said dryly. And they didn't bother looking for him now, what with the curse - that would be enough to mark him…

His fingers tightened around his mug, turning his knuckles white. Yukito spared a brief thought about the cup, but it did not shatter. He took a deep breath and sat it down heavily, shaking his head.

“You saved me. They were going to kill me, but you saved me. It doesn't help anything, though. It's too late to change the past…”

“Li-kun?”

 

Anger suddenly flared in the depths of his eyes. “You should have let me die! They took my most precious thing away!”

“They took what away?” Yukito remained unfazed by the anger, his kindly disposition shining through. “I could never have left someone to suffer, Li-kun!”

“Well, you should have… without my magic… I'm nothing…”

“Magic?”

“Yes.”

“That's nothing to die over! I'm ashamed of you!”
“I thought you'd understand!” Syaoran cried back.

Yukito crossed his arms and fixed the boy with a truly angry look. “This conversation ends now.”

“You know, I'd rather talk to Yue about this.” Syaoran said flatly. Yukito felt hurt for a second, before his world blacked out.

Brilliant white wrapped him in a chill embrace as the moon guardian fixed cold eyes on Clow's descendant, yet they softened a moment later.

“Come.”

Syaoran flung himself into Yue's arms, letting the guardian pet his hair. “Shh, shh… it's all right, little one, I'll protect you…”

“He doesn't understand.” Syaoran said bitterly, referring to Yukito. Yue nodded.

“I know.”

“How can you stand me? I have no magic left… I'm worthless…”

“Clow liked fancy things, the Cards, even us… we were all created to be exactingly perfect, you know,” Yue said, as he reached a hand up and brushed against Syaoran's cheek, “But really, all that gives me is a fondness for certain unattainable things…”

“And?” The boy blushed, leaning against Yue for support.

“Perhaps I'm in love with the ordinary.” The angel whispered into his ear. “Perhaps what I want for once isn't brilliant power…”

 

Syaoran colored as the implications finally sank in. “You want me?”

“Yes…”

“But…”

“You're still a child, but soon, soon enough…” Yue whispered, entwining his fingers with the boy's, “You will be old enough for me.”

“I understand…” He whispered breathlessly, and the kiss that followed drowned him in icy water… but really, he didn't care that he was drowning, not any more. What had he left to lose?

 

 

End Fic

Completed 10/24/05

Aight! Done! Hehehe, manipulative! Yue is way too fun to play with, and especially with naïve! Or at least broken! Syaoran