Chobits Fan Fiction / Angelic Layer Fan Fiction ❯ NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ❯ One-Shot

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

"Wait, Shuuko!" Icchan said. "Where are you going?"

"Where do you think?" Shuuko said. "Misaki and I are going back to our home town."

"But I thought you were going to marry me!"

"What? Is THAT what you thought? Well, you know what they say: when you assume..."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

After Shuuko left, Icchan spent a whole day crying emo tears. Finally, a young woman entered his room.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm Chitose," she said. "You called me earlier about my job application being accepted. I'm here to start work."

Icchan took one look at Chitose, and quickly forgot about Shuuko.

A year later, Icchan and Chitose were getting married.

"I object!" Ogata shouted, interrupting the ceremony. "Chief, I love you and want to have your MPreg babies!"

"Not gonna happen!" Icchan said. "And your penalty for interrupting is to have yaoi with Ojiro!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Sometime later, they tried to have kids but were unable to conceive. Chitose went to a fertility clinic to get answers, but she didn't like what she heard.

"I'm afraid you'll never be able to carry a child to term," the doctor said.

"I can't has babies?" asked Chitose.

"I'm sorry."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she was too sad to speak afterward.

A few months later, a depressed Chitose was lured into the lab by Icchan. She could hardly believe what she saw.

"Here's our daughter!" said Icchan.

"Really?" replied Chitose. "Looks more like a robot to me."

"Well, she's not"

"And what exactly makes her not a robot?"

"She doesn't have the Three Laws of Robotics in her program."

"That's the dumbest reasoning I've ever heard."

While Icchan was crying anime tears, Chitose turned on the not-robot.

"Hi, Mommy! My name's Freya!" she said.

"Hi, Freya!" replied Chitose.

Freya turned to Icchan. "I love you, Daddy!"

Icchan smiled. "I love you too," he said.

"No, you don't get it, I LOVE you..."

A bit later, Elda was created. Things seemed to be going great, until Freya started breaking down on them.

"Daddy!" Freya pleaded. "What part of 'I love you' don't you understand?"

"Oh," Icchan said. "You mean THAT kind of love. Sorry, I don't do incest, nor do I do it with not-robots."

"That's okay. It's too late anyway."

"What do you mean, Freya?" Icchan said. "Freya?"

Freya had already crapped out.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

A week later, Icchan and Chitose were in the living room.

"We have to get rid of Elda!" Icchan cried. "She might end up like Freya!"

"Get a grip," Chitose said. "Let's wait and see before deciding anything."

"You're right. I'll be at the office if anything else -" suddenly, Icchan slipped on a banana peel and broke his neck.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Chitose cried out, unable to bear it any longer.

"Elda," she said. "I'm gonna throw you out with the trash. This will somehow hook you up with a boyfriend."

"Mommy, I think grief has driven you mad," said Elda.

"Besides, what's a CLAMP series without mommy issues?"

After wiping Elda's memory, Chitose left her out by a nearby trash can.

"Damn, those not-robots are heavy," Chitose said. "I'm just glad that's over with. Now, what will I have for dinner?"

THE END