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[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Welcome to ďTorturing SesshomaruĒ the humorous parody (ok that was an oxymoron but whoís perfect?) abt what else? Torturing Sesshomaru!! Ok its not really Torturing him, just slightly bashing. Ok some disclaimers b4 I begin. I do not own any part of the Inuyasha manga series or anime series. Do not sue me ok!!! I just wanna make a good parody for the adoring fans!!! Also, Ed, donít get pissed off because I know youíll like it!!!! ok here goes!!!


::Scene starts with Sesshomaru sleeping (and rather cutely might I add^^) He is to get up at 8:00 am to his favorite song Fukai Mori but something goes wrong::

Jukebox- ::plays to the tune of Fukai Mori:: Chicken Beef, Coral Reef, and I fall on my feet, my body feels like soup, the roof leaks, and the door creaks, the mouse wonít even squeak.

Sesshomaru- (wakes up outraged) What the hell is this crap!!! (Takes out the Cd) BOAís GREATEST HITS?!!! THAT BITCH CANíT SING FO SHIT!!!! ::sigh:: Rin must have left this in my cd player.

Rin- (Runs in and jumps on Sesshomaruís bed) good morning Sesshomaru-kun (hugs him)

Sesshomaru-::mutters to himself:: another day, another 24 hours with this little brat and toad boy.

Jaken-(comes into his room)

Sesshomaru- speak of the toad

Jaken-(hands Sesshomaru a long scroll) Master, Iíve been up all night ::flashbacks of him drawing hentai pics of Sesshomaru::
and Iíve made a complete chart of all the things that have occured since you last met with Inuyasha.

Sesshomaru-(looks through the scroll, finding one of the Hentai drawings) um...Jaken, what is this?

Jaken- didnít draw that I swear my lord!! It was that pesky brat ::points at Rin::

Sesshomaru-You admire my body that much, youíd make a Hentai?

Rin- uhhhh...purple!!

Sesshomaru- Iím flatterd, here have a cookie!

Rin-(takes the cookie and eats it, one minute later she dies)tell...Jaken...Iím gay

Sesshomaru- dumb brat, how dare you draw me so inaccurately... my thing is WAY bigger than that!!!

Jaken- whew, anyways my lord we must get back to the scroll. The graphs have shown that youíve lost one arm, youíve scratched up your face, you donít have the tetsaiga your minions are practically useless and youíre still related to INUYASHA

Sesshomaru-HEY!!! I got a replacement for that arm!! Besides, I changed my name to Sesshomaru Urashima so Iím not his brother anymore (blows a raspberry)

::Telephone Rings, answering Machine picks up:: Youíve reached Sesshomaruís!! If youíre a fine laydie
leave ya digits, if youíre an ugly laydee, still leave ya digits if ya anyone else, get lost!! ::background stuff iz heard:: Jaken, you
fukkin faggot!!!! I told you to stop singing that goddamn BoA shit and put the dishes in the... Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

Naraku: Sesshomaru, I have a way for you to get the tetsaiga, meet me in the back of the hoggly woggly at 12:00 pm.

Sesshomaru- wooohooo!!! now I can finally get that bitch Inuyasha! Common Toad!!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Boom Chika Boom:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Sesshomaru-(Rides a bike along a path to the hoggly woggly with Jaken running behind)

Upon arrival at the Hoggly Woggly, Sesshomaru and Jaken see that there is a big convention going on.

Sesshomaru- This calls for my disguise pen!!! Disguise Power!! Turn me into a cosplayer!!!!(turns into Sephiroth)

Jaken- what about me mílord?

Sesshomaru- You already look like shit. Common

As Sesshomaru and Jaken walk through the crowd he sees several people dressed as him

Sesshomaru: tisk, tisk, do you see them Jaken? They all look

Jaken-::sigh:: common mílord

Naraku- psst, Iím ova here



Sesshomaru-(turns around) oooooooooooooooooooo...I knew that^^

Naraku-w/e anywayz, on the other side of the cosplay arena, there is a big confrence building you see ::points at sign that says
Confrence BuildingĒ Look this costume is really itchy and these two strands of hair are poking me in the eye!

Naraku-take it off, they probably wonít even know its you with so many cosplayers running around

Sesshomaru- ok (changes from the costume)

Fan-Girl- (points) SESSHOMARU SAMA!!!!!!

Fangirls all run towards Sessshomaru, Jaken gets trampled


::In the background you see Kagome snicker and give Sango a high five::

Sesshomaru-(runs into a room panting, the girls kicking and screaming behind the door)

Miroku- Hey sexy

Sesshomaru- (turns around and sess Miroku) who n the hell are you?

Miroku- Donít play games baby, you know you want me. I see you and me on that table n about 5 minutes.

Sesshomaru- Listen you Bisexual bitch I dunno what you tried in high school but you better get the fuck away from me!!

Miroku- Iím not bi, but Iíll try anything once ^_~

Sesshomaru-woah woah woah get the hell back, canít you see Iím a man?!

Miroku- you can be anything you want as long as you call my name.

Sesshomaru-obviously you donít get me!!(pulls down his pants) see I told you, full package!!

Miroku-::thinks to himself:: thatz bigger than mine:: obviously there has been a misunderstanding I mean you looked so much like a gi...

Sesshomaru- a what?

Miroku- nothing but look , I can get you out of here all you gotta do is climb up that pipe and tunnel through it until you get to another room. Good Luck (pats Sesshomaruís ass)

Sesshomaru- Thatís It (slices Miroku in half) I never liked fags.

So Sesshomaru tunneled through the pipe until he got to his destination. He jumped out of the pipe down on the ground and got a not so great surprise. Inuyasha was standing there with Kikyo on one arm and Kagome on another.

Inuyasha-Well if it isnít my older brother. Running around looking like you do and u still ainít got no nookie. and no wonder, youíre wearing a friggen boa. You disgust me.

Random Man-oooooooooooooooooo

Sesshomaru- Itz manolo fur for the last fukkin time!!! And I have got sum nookie Bitch!!

Random Girl-ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Inuyasha- yea, from a 6 year old kid!!!

Man-ooooooo oooooooooooooo

Sesshomaru-o yea, well she proly got betta curves than that bitch on the right (Kagome)



Both- sry (leave)

Sesshomaru- anyway Iíve come to take your tetsaiga and your booty-call!!

Inuyasha- try it boA boy, but I have a secret weapon!!

Sesshomaru-oh yea, and what is that

Inuyasha-(turns on ďWhateverĒ by BoA)

Sesshomaru- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....canít listen!!!! powers...of the TUBA CHUCK EARMUFFS!! ::puts them on:: woochacha!! :flips Inu the Bird: now, imma kick your ass and take that one on
the left (Kikyo)

Inuyasha- girls, ainítcah gunna help me?

Kagome-Fuck you Inuyasha

Kikyo- you did all them other times.

Kagome- thatís it you skanky half dead stick bitch!!!

Kikyo- bring it on

Sesshomaru and Inuyasha just stood there while Kikyo and Kagome fought, passing a popcorn bucket.

Sesshomaru- I bet on the long haired one!!

Inuyasha- we should stop them

Sesshomaru- and miss this chick fight, hell naw!!!

Inuyasha- no seriously, I think Kikyo just tore Kagome another bow n arrow if ya get me.

Sesshomaru-awwwww arite, I got Kikyo

Sesshomaru and Inuyasha run to grab the girls, Sesshomaru grabbing other places -_-.

Kikyo- You know what Inuyasha, Iím done with you!! Iím leaving with Sesshomaru. Heís hotter, more well built and hez got a better package!!

Inuyasha- HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT!!!!

Sesshomaru- I told you I got some ::snicker::

So the story ends with Kikyo going home with Sesshomaru (lord only knows what happend after that) and Inuyasha is left with Kagome who eventually left him for Sango @_@.


Ok, Ok I know that sucked but it's hella funni but my story wasnít that bad!! Email me @ and tell me watcha think.