Cowboy Bebop Fan Fiction ❯ Confessions of a Hard Luck Woman ❯ Chapter 1 ( One-Shot )

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Confessions of a Hard Luck Woman

All I ever really wanted out of life was to be somewhere warm and safe, where I was wanted. I can remember my previous life now, and I envy it more than I ever did as a child. Back then, I had it made. Parents who loved and supported me, friends who never dreamed of knifing me in the back, and a life.

Of course, all that changed after the accident. It's amazing what fifty years can do to a person. Time isn't really all that kind when you think about it. I should know. Time took everything away from me.

When I woke up in a strange new world, I couldn't remember my past. Maybe that a blessing of sorts. Imagine that. Someone up there must've liked me enough to make me forget everything that I had been ripped away from.

And now, there's plenty of time to remember. This new life…well, it really isn't all that that great. Stuck on a run-down hack of a ship with two guys, a dog, and a certifiable loony tune isn't what that young version of me caught on a beta tape long ago probably had in mind.

Then again, none of this `frozen in time' stuff was ever supposed to happen. I'm supposed to be an old woman now, tottering around or in a wheelchair and spoiling a few grandkids. The phrase "Young at Heart" could probably apply to Ed or even one of the two babies that strut around here, but what about being old at heart?

Sure, I can still look and act the part of some cheap young thing, but when it comes down to it, I feel like that eternal rest those crazy preachers on the streets yell about is starting to sound pretty damn good. There's only so much a person should be subjected to in one lifetime. What about me then?

If I were to leave, what would he care? What would any of them care? I don't believe for a second one of them would even bother to look for me if I were to blow this Popsicle stand unless I unloaded the little safe that Jet takes such pride in. I might have to try that sometime. Just a little test to see if anyone would actually care.

Sometimes I wonder if I should care anymore. My shipmates don't care. If any of them do, well, they do a good job of hiding it. Just once I'd like to not be lonely on a ship full of people…maybe even have one of them thank me for something. It's not too much to ask, really.

Not that I'd expect it out of a bunch of babies. Sometimes I think the stupid dog is the only one who knows what's going on. I catch the mutt staring at me sometimes, just like a person contemplating the meaning of life. It's enough to creep out just about anyone. I wonder if he can see right into me, like some sort of religious guru, purified above the level of normal human existence, able to divine all the secrets a person has just by looking into their eyes.

I don't think I'll ever figure out anybody on this ship. For now and always, it's always going to be me. Just me, no hidden meanings, no dogs, no hackers, no ex-cops, and definitely no fuzzy-haired cowboys. I am and always will be my own best friend.

DON'T LOCK THE DOOR SO TIGHT.