Crossover With Non-anime Series Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction ❯ Cannonball Run 3 World Tour ❯ Alternate Endings ( Epilogue )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Alternate Endings

Party With No Prize

Commentary: This is very much like the ending of the first Cannonball movie. Nobody got the money in the end. But you got to admit, they've all had a really good time. That would also mean that there doesn't seem to be any surprise. That's pretty much why I scrapped this ending. I wanted to 'wow' you guys by making the racers make one final dash to the North Pole.

The scene starts off right after the President excuses the Cannonballers.

"Madame." James Bond took out a cigar. "Maybe you should settle down for a while."

"I'll take anything." C. Foyt took the cigar.

"You may use the lighter in my car…..Mrs………." James Bond hesitated.



The angry Commander stormed into James Bond's silver Ferrari car of which he had left since the beginning of the race.

"Isn't she in for a surprise?" James Bond smiled. "You just wait until she touches that lighter!"

Everyone began giggling. All eyes turned to the car. C. Foyt sat there puffing her cigarette next to the driver's seat and leaned back.

"Nothing's happening, Chief." Said Daffy Duck.

Everyone looked at James Bond.

"That's strange. Pardon me." James Bond walked to his car and got into the driver's seat. C. Foyt saw James enter the car.

"Mrs. Foyt………" James shut the door after getting in. "How did you light that?"

"With your lighter. What else?" C. Foyt pressed the lighter. 007 jumped in fright. But nothing happened.

"Why didn't……..?" James Bond pressed the lighter again. One second he was in the state of curiosity and the next he found himself ejecting out of the car roof. Everyone gasped when they saw the British agent shoot up in the air. Within moments James Bond ended his flight with a splash into the windy sea.

The Cannonball band was playing. Slappy ordered the fireworks and balloons to be released to the blue sky. Everyone was at the great party. Wine spilled everywhere, soda cans and bottles flared above the crowd and cheers of triumph cried their mightiest. Though the money was never to be claimed, it was damn well worth it. What an adventure everyone had. It was a time never to be forgotten.

"I think we should do this again, old sport!" James Bond shook Eddie Valiant's hand.

"Hey, Eddie!" Said Roger. "Should we let 'him' come again?" Eddie gave a smile at his friend and poured a bottle of champagne onto his head. "WAAAAAA HA HA!"

The children choir began to sing:

'Do you have a dream you're dreaming today?

Do you see the sunshine shining your way?

Do you hear a song that sings, inside of you?

You gotta have a dream to make a dream come true.

Learn to reach for the stars,

For the top,

For the prize.




The End

A Hundred Million Bucks Down The Drain

Commentary: This one very much reflects the ending from 'It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World'. If you've seen that movie you should have an idea how this ending is going to be seen. The reason why I took it out is because it was too bizarre. And I happened to encounter some problems when dealing with particular scene. Some of the characters in the story can actually fly (eg Goten, Powerpuff Girls etc), so after reading this ending you'd really think that this ending wouldn't make sense.

The scene starts off as Roger Rabbit/Captain Chaos has just dived into the sea to save the girl's kitten. Thade has taken the suitcase but doesn't have any ship waiting for him. Meanwhile the others try to catch up, unlike in the original story.

"STOP THAT APE!" Cried Meowth as he and the crowd chased after Thade, who had craftily dashed into the Statue of Liberty entrance.

"CHAOS!!!! COME ON!" Eddie grasped his friend by the collar after the masked hero had saved the girl's kitten.

Thade stopped as he reached halfway up the spiral staircase. He was exhausted from the steep stairs. It was like running up Mount Everest. And looking down he saw nothing but the ground resting in peace. Then he heard the shouts of the Cannonballers and they got louder every second.

"THERE HE IS!" Eddie pointed up to the staircase.

"Oh, shit." Thade rose from his position and made for the stairs again. The Cannonballers followed. Round and round they'd go, when they stop, nobody would know. The staircase stretched high from the statue's feet all the way up to her head. Eddie led the way while the others came right behind. Many grew tired and dizzy. But that didn't stop them from getting a hundred million dollars.

Thade reached to the torch of the statue. He looked down and saw the crowd staring back up at him. Before he could make a quick action Eddie popped out of the torch along with his entire gang of angry money cravers. Thade had nowhere to run and fell into the crunched up crowd.





Everyone was fighting over a small bag yet containing a truck load of shiny dough. The clasping hands shook wilder than before. The suitcase felt yelled upon tons of adoring fans. The cries of what it had grew more violent. It was then that the black bag finally made its wise decision……..

"OH NO!"

The bag flung open by the side of the bar. The rain of money swept across the ocean like birds finally set free from its darkening prison. Liberation had been given to them all. Now they were able to fly with the wind, beneath the sun. And travel wherever they desire. Gliding through the air, the money parted in their own directions and landed softly into the blue sea. They made their last farewells as the waves took them away from New York.

The money was no more.

Suddenly the statue's hand broke off from the arm and everyone hung loose lives from the dangling torch. The crowd at the bottom screamed in horror.


Minutes passed. Everyone was still clutching for their lives on the blue monument. A fire engine arrived in their rescue. The ladder was brought up to the broken hand. But things weren't going to be pleasant as the Cannonballers were to think. For as Eddie got onto the ladder, so did Team Rocket, followed by Shaft, then Donald Duck, then James Bond, then Fat Bastard, then………….

The ladder was getting overfilled. Soon everyone was holding onto the ladder of hope. The conductor at the bottom lost control of the ladder. The ladder itself swung back and forth repeatedly. Some Cannonballers fell off, while others still hung on. Still the ladder swung forcefully and aimlessly. Turn after turn the ladder lovers lost their grip and plummeted into the sea.

When all except Thade had fallen, the ladder slammed downwards and Thade finally let go and joined the others in the water as he descended down with a loud splash.

Agony and pain were the only things that overtook the minds of the Cannonballers as they all spent time in the large hospital room, bandaged and plastered in their beds.


"It's all your fault!" Said Meowth.

"Yeah. It's all your fault you wrecked our dreams!" Shouted Santa Clause.

"You're behavior was vile." Said James Bond.

"You could have just signed up for the race." Said Mr. Conductor. "But no….you had to go and take it all for yourself."

"You oughta be ashamed of yourself!" Said Yuffie.

"Shut up, Yuffie." Yelled Squall and Seifer trying not to think about the brat's annoying voice. It only worsened the pain inside their heads.

"Please! Turn off that racket!" Moaned Death.

"We were so close." Said Tara Lipinski. "Now we've ended with nothing."

"I can still feel those dollars in my hands." Said Kari Kamiya.

"Speak for yourself!" The Doc coughed up loudly beside the Digidestined girl.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" Said Roger Rabbit.

"I hope you're glad you ruined the race." Said Eddie.

"You're a very bad man!" Rainbow Brite looked at Thade sternly.

"You people don't have to worry about me." Thade said calmly. "I'm being removed from my post in the army, America's suing me for damage of the statue, my family and friends are leaving me, and I could have gotten away all that if it weren't for all you annoying little scum buckets. Do you ever understand how hard it is when you've raised a family of a wife and three kids?" Everyone paused and looked down. "The wife gets you down, the children yell at you, and all I longed was to escape from all that with a grand fortune of money. To be free and never think about the anxiety I had to suffer. I just wanted take all of it away and just go where my dreams take me. So you people just think about me when I get out of this god forsaken hell hole!"

"Boy, that's pretty tough." Said Hinata Wakaba.

"(I didn't really understand you were that desperate for the money.)" Said Dr. Slump.

"Yeah. Just exactly what he said." Said Homer Simpson.

"I've seen really bad stuff, but nothing as worse as this." Said Cadpig.

"I wouldn't like to be in your shoes." Said Kiyone.

"You've had a pretty heavy life, Mr. Thade." Said Stanley Stupid.

"You know." Said Kyle Broslovsky. "I've learned something today. Money can corrupt peoples' lives."

"Yeah. Not only that. It can tear away your happiness forever." Said Stan Marshe.

"That's sure what happened to us." Said Eric Cartman.

"M-HMMM." Everyone gave a nod.


Faces glared into his eyes in confusion. Nobody knew exactly what he said. But whatever it was, it sounded like a good moral.


Thade, no longer a General, wanted to release the anger he felt inside himself. So he took out his uninjured leg and kicked over a can of grease beside him. The brown viscous liquid flowed down the floor like a dark cloud covering whatever it crossed.

"So there you are!" C. Foyt marched into the room with Captain Harris and Proctor. "You trouble makers oughta be in court at this instant! Once you all get out of here it's straight to the judge for all of you!"

"I don't think so." Said a voice from behind.

"Mr. President!" C. Foyt saw the very important man with JJ McClure and Victor Prinzeyby his sides.. "What a surprise seeing you here."

"I, President of the United States……." The President got out his signed contract. "……..have excused these fellow racers of every activity they've done in the race."


"That is all." The President left.

"Bad luck, Commander." Said Proctor.

"Oh, shut up!" C. Foyt turned to the Cannonballers. "You lot might have gotten away this time, but wait until………..WHOAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!" She suddenly stepped on the spilled grease and flipped over before landing hard onto the floor.

"Commander!" Cried Captain Harris.

"HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!"

"Put me down!" C. Foyt saw two nurses carry her to a bed.

C. Foyt was taken out of the room as Capt. Harris and Proctor followed her.

The room became a comedy and Thade was beginning to grin. He looked to his left to see crackling cries. He looked to his right to see exploding shouts. Eventually Thade let it all out and joined the rest of the bunch on their cry of laughter yet insanity.

The End

Bumper Cars

Commentary: This third alternate ending is a slightly alternate scene from the first alternate ending. It takes place just after James Bond dives into the ocean.

Night had fallen. The Cannonballers were making one last dash…


…in a bumper car arena.

"HOO! HOO!" Cried Roger Rabbit. "This is fun!"

"Watch out, Roger!" Cried Eddie. "Here I come!"

"HEE! HEE!" Laughed Team Rocket.

"ACK! ACK!" The Martians cried.

"Take this!" James Bond shouted.

"Finally, something I enjoy!" Smiled Alessa.

"Here I come, Mario!" Sonic shrieked.

All were having fun bumping each other. The Cannonball had certainly impressed the hell out of them. But this activity certainly took the joy out of them. None of them ever thought about the money again. They were all too busy making sure they didn't get rammed into! The place became a laugh riot.

The End

Author's Note: That's all people!

I don't really intend to make a fourth Cannonball Run. But if anyone would like to do a remake of this story or do a sequel, be my guest, but remember: ASK ME FIRST! First come, first served, like they say.

Farewell, and let's hope perhaps someday I'll jump back into the racing seat and write another fic on this mad cap trophy dash!

*Hugs from all of you*


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