D. N. Angel Fan Fiction ❯ A Tomorrow I Thought Would Never Come ❯ One-Shot

A Tomorrow I Thought Would Never Come

A D.N.Angel fanfic by Shadow-Filled-Room

Summary: For all things, there must be an end… no matter how hard you try to keep the end from coming to be.

Warnings: Slight (very slight) shounen-ai, Sad and depressing… don't read this on a bad day.

Spoilers: Possible spoilers for the D.N.Angel anime (ending), though I haven't seen the ending someone told me a bit about it… that coupled with the songs "Caged Bird" and "Michishirube" from the D.N.Angel soundtrack (it was mostly the "Michishirube" acoustic version) that inspired this fanfic… I had wanted to write a sad fanfic ever since I had first heard "Michishirube" and, well, this is the result.

Disclaimer: I do not own D.N.Angel, D.N.Angel belongs the wonderful Yukiru Sugisaki whom I totally worship. *__*

…However, this fanfic _does_ belong to me. That means no taking this fic and passing it off as your own and no posting this fanfic anyplace without my permission. Thank you. ^__^;; (had to say it, sorry. ^__^;;; )

Notes: If the formatting on this shows up all weird please let me know and I'll try and fix it.

Rating: PG - 13?

Status: Finished: September 27, 2003 - 12:50 AM

~~

A Tomorrow I Thought Would Never Come

~

I walk slowly up to the front door of my house. Everything is so quiet and still, not even a slight wind is blowing to disturb the stillness of this night. Standing in front of the door I stare at it a bit blankly, still in shock from the events earlier. I'm not sure how long I stood there before the door opened and my mother was there, staring at me sadly. She made a move to hug me but I shifted away and looked to the side-not being able to look into her eyes and see the memory of this day glimmering there. I think she understands because she moves out of the doorway to let me pass.

It's just as quiet inside as out. As I pass the doorway to the living room I see my father and grandfather stand up but then stop themselves from coming over to me when they see my face.

Slowly, I go up the stairs to my room, passing framed pictures on the walls of a younger me, a me that didn't yet know...

Inside my room I close my door and lean against it and pull the tatters of my- no, his, clothes closer around me. They still smell like him; like the night and rain and a hint of the lavender shampoo he had stolen from my mother this morning. The clothes are way too big and not something I would have picked out-but now I hold them to me as if I never want to take them off, and in a way I don't. Maybe if I keep these clothes on he will wake up from a light doze to tease me or complain that I'm wrinkling them. Maybe if I keep them close to my body I will be able to ignore the tares and rips in them… and the spots of blood. Maybe if I just try and pretend that this day never happened I will wake up tomorrow to him smirking at me out of my mirror. Maybe if I do all this I will be able to forget--

A broken sob escapes from my lips, and I slide down the door to rest with my legs pulled up to my chest, I wrap my arms around them and stare off into space as glittering jewels- so like ones he once stole- fall down my cheeks.

Maybe if I… or if I… but no, I can try and deny it all I want but that won't change the fact-the fact… -another sob rips itself from my throat- the fact that he is gone. Gone forever this time. He will never fly on shadowy wings against a starry sky, never flirt with anything that walks -a small sad smile lights briefly on my lips before quickly disappearing- he will never… never again talk to me or stretch out my clothes or just smile at me.

I look up and gaze around my room. For once he didn't toss clothes everywhere when he got dressed to leave today, he didn't even tease me that much or try to get me in trouble… it's almost as if he knew this would happen. Maybe he did-I don't know. I'm sure if he did know he wouldn't have told me. He… is... was, really much kinder that he let on. There was so much he never said. All the time he was with me I never really knew him, I wanted to. I wanted to know all about him and what it was like to live inside so many different people-to know what it was like sleeping one day and then waking up the next and being in a whole different time. It must have been horribly lonely to lose everything you knew over and over again…

I think maybe all his arrogance and flirting was to hide his pain and loneliness. I _so_ wanted to find a way to free him-_really_ free him-so he would have a life of his own. But I guess I never will now. I let my head drop to my knees and take in a shaky breath. I wish I had been able to give him just one day of real freedom, one day where he could just be himself and no one else, where he could just be lazy and do nothing or go down and get ice cream at the little shop down the street…

I… I wish things hadn't turned out this way. I may have thought he was a pain at times and sometimes may have just wished for him to have never come into my life, but I never wanted… this.

I lean back a little and wrap my arms around my shoulders. My fingers brush the necklace he had put on and my left wrist presses the bracelet he had clipped there, into my skin. The cold metal forces memories of this horrible day to come up from where I have closed them away. I try to keep them hidden and not remember but I'm just too weak, too much fighting and pain have weakened my resistance.

Feathers everywhere, floating all around me white and black ones both… He takes us up, closer to the one flying above us. Suddenly there is pain, a pain I had never felt before, it felt like I was being torn in two and then I was falling. I hit the ground hard and blacked out. When I woke up I was still in pain but it was different than before; I felt-- I felt like I was missing something. Then I suddenly realized I was _me_ and not Dark. Unthinkingly I called out to him aloud. And to my surprise I heard his voice answer me, from _beside_ me. I looked over to my side and met shocked violet eyes with my own. I'm still not sure just want happened to make us separate, though, Hiwatari-kun had said a bit later that it had something to do with "Black Wings" or something… I don't really remember that well, my memory from that time starts to get fuzzy here… Hiwatari-kun said something about how that "Black Wings" had an aura and it had been released and in it's aura Dark and Krad could have a semblance of freedom… Krad, of course, choose to attack instead of just enjoy his brief moment of freedom.

Krad dove at us and… and…

I don't want to remember this!! Stop please! I raise my hands to my head as if to keep the images from coming out to the light where I can see them, but they keep coming, blurred as they are they still keep coming. I cry out in pain and my tears form small rivers down my face as I try and block, try and… but they keep coming.

Feathers always feathers, and the light from energy blasts… yelling and running to avoid being hit, at one point I saw Hiwatari-kun, dirt-smudged, and looking just as shocked as I was, but I lost him in all the panic. And then…. And then….

No, I don't want to remember!! I curl up and lay in a fetal position on the floor, whimpering over the memories that I can't stop.

…Then there was this loud sound, like a million mirrors breaking, or, like one fragile china-doll shattering because it had slipped from between a child's hands. When I looked up the Black Wings was nowhere to be seen and Krad had disappeared. I was confused; I didn't know what had happened. I crawled out from where I had taken refuge and looked around. Then… then… I-I saw him. I screamed out his name and ran to him. He was so still… I kneeled down beside him and pulled him into my arms calling his name over and over again. I leaned down and rested my head against his soft hair and cried. Then I felt him move weakly. I pulled away a just enough to look down at his face. His eyes were open and he was looking at me; there was pain there and sadness. I told him in a rush that I had him and everything was going to be alright but he stopped me with a soft smile and raised a shaky had up and stroked his fingers over my tears. He spoke to me he said… he… said…

I can't remember this! I can't! I twitch myself into a tighter ball on the floor and hide my face in my hands. This it the one thing I remember the clearest of that time, the one thing… that broke me.

Dark said to me, softly oh-so softly in a voice filled with a wondrous warmth and caring I had never heard before "Dai-chan, …you are the most beautiful treasure I have ever had the honor of being near."

…

…

Dark slowly closed his eyes and his body started to fade and shimmer. I tried to hold onto him but he just faded more and more until I was left sitting with nothing in my hands.

~~~///End\\\~~~