Daa! Daa! Daa! Fan Fiction ❯ THIS STORY HAS NO MEANING! ❯ MY CHEESE! ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]
we dont own the name dane cook but we own the rest of the characters in this story blablablablabla i hate how we have to put this shit!!!!!!!!!!

There once was a brave stick figure named Dane Cook. He was a happy-go-lucky-fucking-basterd-stick-figure who loved cheese. But one bright sunny day on a monday morning he went outside and was about to eat his cheese but he saw a bug eating his growing lettuce so he went to go kill it. He set his cheese down and went to go kill the little harmless bug. After killing it he turned around and out of no where a 2 headed dragon came and swooped down and stole his cheese! Dane was not about to let that little fucker get away so he ran after it!

*In every cartoon the hero always some how have a sword and has major skill so thats what happends to Dane and he has major skillage in everything else*

Dane got out his sword and jumped on the back of the dragon. The dragon flicked its head back and knocked Dane off. Dane luckily landed in a safe spot cause if he didnt that would be the end of this story. The dragon landed infront of him and started to charge. Dane and his mad skills cut off one of the dragons heads.

"How dare you kill my brother! Now your gonna feel the pain!" said the last head of the 2 headed well now one headed dragon and he charged at him.

Dane didn't have time for this he had an arobics class in 2 hours and he just wanted his fucking cheese so without hesitating he pulled his magic ninja matrix moves and did a slow motion slicing off the dragons last head. "damn that was easy! in all of the movies i see the dragon is always hard to beat, oh well i just want my cheese!" said Dane while heading for his big slice of cheese. He was almost there but a big alien came down from his very scary spaceship and jumped out for the cheese.

"NOT AGAIN! GIMME MY CHEESE BITCH!" yelled Dane. The alien had 6 eyes and 3 legs and was very ugly. Dane did a backflip and during the process the Alien came forword and Dane chopped it up while in the air. Landing back on the ground Dane jumped with glee and headed for his cheese. OH NO A BIRD JUST TOOK IT! Dane through his sword at the bird and it was a direct hit by the bird didnt die for that it was a magical bird.

"Why does this keep happening to me?!" Dane thought as he ran towards the magical birl. He sliced it up and thought he had killed it. He took his cheese and went on his way until from out of no where his cheese floated out of his hands. "WHAT THE FUCK!" Dane cursed as he tried to jump and get his cheese.

"Jump higher!" said a voice. Dane looked around and saw nothing. "Its me you asshole The bird that you had just "Killed". Im a magical bird so i turned invisible and now ou cant see me! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The Bird started to fly away. Dane couldnt see it flying away but he saw his cheese moving so the bird had to of been moving.

"GIVE ME MY CHEESE!" yelled Dane as he jumped up and down whinning. All-Of-A-Sudden, Dane felt a strange feeling inside! Could it be? Was Dane the Magical Human that his race had been hoping to? Was he the one who would save man kind? "God it smells!" No i guess not, it was just gas.

"WHat is that reched smell?" The bird began to lower and lower from its high place in the sky until he was on the ground. "No that smell is horrible!" The bird then died from over-exposier to ones gas.

"MY CHEESE!" Dane yelled as he ran towards it. "I Finally have y wonderful cheese!" He jumped up and down with glee all until he was pulled under ground by a gofer-kitty. "what the fuck is up with all of this?" Dane was thrown in a cage.

"Hahahaha now i have your cheese Dane. YOu have passed all the tests that i have set for you but now can you pass this finall test?" The gofer-kitty chuckled evily.

"Look man I just want my cheese." He cried because he was just so damn hungry i mean he was a fucking stick figure for crying out loud.

"No Dane. I have been watching you for the past few days and this isnt about the cheese. This is about you being late to your Arobics class!" Gofer-kitty laughed once more, but while he was laughing Dane thought about it, he had never been late to his arobics class in his whole life and he wasnt about to start! Dane kicked the bars of the cage so hard that he hurt his leg really badly. He then figured that he was so stick-figure like that he could just slip through the bars. He through a spear that magically appeared and through it at the gofer-kitty. The gofer Kitty died and Dane took his cheese. Before he left he spit on the damn gofer-kitty and off to his arobics class.

"Im so glad its over. This has been the most fucked-up day ever!" Dane looked at his cheese and smiled. He took a bite out of it and chewed.

*PUUUUEWWW* Dane spit the cheese out of his mouth. "Its fucking rotten!" Dane threw the cheese and went to his arobics class but he only had 5 minutes until he would be late. Will Dane make it to his arobics class before time runs out? Find out in the next episode of


Stay tooned

A/N: Yeah well i got bored so i made this story. and LOL there will be another story to this! review please of what should happen next on this wonderful story or mail me at crazy_cyclone_gurl@hotmail.com