Demon Diary Fan Fiction ❯ The Birds and the Bees ❯ One-shot ( One-Shot )

The Birds and the Bees

--A Demon Diary Story

Ahem. I don't own Demon Diary. I cry.

I've only read up to manga volume four, so things are consistent with that…and…yeah.

It was a bright, sunny day in the castle with no name. Birds were singing, the Crusaders were patrolling, and the kitchen wench (Eclipse) was busy cooking breakfast for the castle's snoring occupants.

Eclipse made sure he gave special attention to detail while decorating everyone's pancakes. He drew angry faces and wrote threatening messages on Chris and Erutis's pancakes, while he drew a smiley face in whipped cream on Raenef's pancake. Sighing, he placed the plates at their placemats of the breakfast table and undid his frilly pink apron, hanging it on a hook beside the spatulas and Betty Crocker spoons.

He knocked loudly on the doors to the insignificant annoying peoples' bedrooms before journeying to Raenef's room.

"Go!" he shouted, and found himself in aforementioned demon lord's bedroom. As Eclipse had anticipated, Raenef was sound asleep under his covers, snoring lightly.

"Raenef," he whispered, shaking the younger one's shoulders lightly. Raenef's chin rolled onto his shoulder, forehead falling onto Eclipse's chest. How cute, Eclipse thought. Eclipse sweat-dropped (due to his strange, Raenef-induced thoughts) and tried, once again, to wake the demon lord.

"Raenef, it's time for breakfast. I made pancakes."

"Pancakes! Where?" Raenef jumped up suddenly. "Oh, hello, Eclipse. Isn't it a wonderful morning?" He yawned and stretched, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Ahem."

*~*

When they arrived back in the kitchen, Chris and Erutis were sitting at the table, trying to decipher the whipped-cream rants in the middles of the flat foods in their plates.

"Is this supposed to say, 'I will destroy your cheesiness!'?" Chris asked.

"No, I think it says, 'Abandon all hope ye who enter here'." Erutis said. ".Either that or 'The mooses will prevail'."

"A smiley face!" Raenef squealed. "Mine has a smiley face!"

Chris grumbled and began stabbing at his pancake. Raenef picked up the syrup bottle and poured about a gallon of it onto his pancake. The other three watching him went 'O.O'.

"Are you sure that's enough syrup for you?"

Raenef nodded happily, sticking his fork in the pancake. He chewed on the food thoughtfully. "Yum! Hee hee!"

*~*

After devouring two whole pancakes smothered in syrup, Raenef was, needless to say, extremely hyper. After bouncing on his chair, reading all the grade-four books in the castle, and redecorating the twenty-odd living rooms, he finally started playing twenty questions with Eclipse.

"Why is the sky blue?"

"All the colors in the universe are in the sky, but only blue refracts into your eyes."

"Why does the lightning come before the thunder?"

"Light is faster than sound."

"But why?"

"The speed of light is faster than the speed of sound."

"Then what's the speed of dark?"

Eclipse sweat-dropped. "I don't know."

Raenef gasped, but soon recovered. "What are the birds and the bees?"

Eclipse took a moment to speak, carefully choosing his words. "Where did you hear that?"

"Oh, well, I was wandering around a market somewhere and I heard this old lady talking about birds and bees to her son. I didn't understand it."

"Well, the birds and the bees are… they're…"

At that moment, the Demon Lord of Egae, Krayon, burst into the room.

"Krayon?!" Eclipse shouted. "What are you doing here?"

Krayon pushed his curly-fries hair over his shoulder. "I heard you were having some trouble, Eclipse ...so I came here to help." (Literal translation: point and laugh at Eclipse's predicament while hitting on Erutis). The Cleric and the Sword Master walked in to join in the pointing and making fun of Eclipse.

"The birds...and…the bees?"

Krayon and Erutis erupted in giggles.

"Why don't you just demonstrate for him, Eclipse? You know you want to!"

Eclipse banged his forehead on the table, partly to relieve stress. The other reason was to hide the blush coloring his cheeks.

Naïve little Raenef, utterly confused, stared at his mentor who was bent on destroying a few hundred brain cells before the day was done.

Eventually, due to incessant banging of his head on a marble table, Eclipse fainted. He also broke the table, but we won't talk about that.

So, seeing as Eclipse was incapacitated, Krayon waltzed over to Raenef, putting an arm around his shoulders, and began to explain.

"The 'birds and the bees' is a phrase used to describe having sex."

"What's that?" Raenef asked.

Krayon sweat-dropped. Chris and Erutis burst into hysterical laughter.

It was a bright, sunny day in the castle with no name. Birds were singing, the Crusaders were patrolling, and Eclipse was out like a light.