Digimon Fan Fiction / Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction / Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ The Harem's Christmas Special!! ❯ Wal-Mart will never be the same ever again. ( Chapter 3 )

Wal-Mart will never be the same ever again.

Blackwargreymon: *hears a loud roar of an engine and maniacle cackling* They're back *walks outside and stares at the car that the two sorceresses are in* Where'd you get that?

Lashana: Los Angeles ^_^

Telca: ^_^ You coming to Wal-Mart or not?

Nightcrawler: *bamfs himself into the backseat of the car* ^_^

Blackwargreymon: *glances at Lashana's Parents before looking at the car again* Um...I'm not gonna fit in that.

Lashana: Oh sure you will! Here, Fuzzy, come sit in the front next to Telca. There ya go, Blacky. You have the whole backseat to yourself. ^_^

Blackwargreymon: *hesitates*

Telca: GET IN THE CAR!!

Lashana: NOW!!!

Blackwargreymon: *sighs and goes to squeeze himself into the backseat of the car* This is nuts.

Lashana: *waves to her Parents* We'll be back soon! *throws the car into reverse and roars down the driveway*

Blackwargreymon: *panicked* Can you at least drive facing forward?!

Telca: Baby.

Lashana: *slams on the brakes and spins the wheel, making the car skid around in a perfect circle so they're facing forward* There. Happy now?

Nightcrawler: *ignores the hyperventilating Digimon and grins at Lashana* That was so cool!! ^_^

Lashana: Thanks ^_^ *slams her foot on the gas and leaves the Palace grounds with a screech of tires*

Lashana's Mother: *watches as the convertible rises onto it's two right tires as it races around a corner, it's tires skidding on the icy road. She arches an eyebrow and turns to her husband* I don't care what you say, she gets that from your side of the family.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(Fifteen minutes, two dimensions and fifty miles later)

Blackwargreymon: *staggers/falls out of the car and starts kissing the ground*

Lashana: Funsucker *untwines the two wires before she climbs out of the car* Now c'mere. I have to put an invisibility spell on you.

Blackwargreymon: *gets to his feet and let's her weave a spell on him, silently vowing not to get into the car on the ride back*

Telca: Uh...Lashana? I can still see the giant turtle.

Lashana: It's tailored so only Humans can't see him.

Blackwargreymon: *grins evilly* David's Human.

Telca: *cackles*

Nightcrawler: *activates his image inducer and heads for the large building* I'll meet you guys later! I got some last minute things to pick up!

Lashana: *waves* Okay! Meet back here in an hour!! *grins and looks at Telca* Let's go shopping!

Telca: *strikes a pose with the Gold Visa held high in the air* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Blackwargreymon: Oh Gods.....

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(Somewhere in the snow-covered Wilderness of the Land of the Harem Dimension)

Zelgadis: *is shivering as he follows Wolverine deeper into the woods* Why did I agree to do this?!

Wolverine: Cuz it was better than Xellos.

Zel: Point. *looks around and points to a large pine tree* What about that one?

Wolverine: *looks at it curiously and nods* Yeah. Looks good *walks over to the trunk and extends the adamantium claws in his hands* TIMBER!!! *slices through the tree in three equal slices*

Zel: *looks up in time to see the tree start to fall towards him* ACK! *uses a burst of demon speed and discovers that demon speed is utterly useless when one is standing on ice*

Wolverine: *groans as the tree lands on Zel and sighs as he starts to head over to dig the chimera out...*

Zel: *wriggles out from under the tree and starts to laugh hysterically and gyarate wildly*

Wolverine: O.o

Zel: GET THEM OUT!! GET THEM OUT!!! THEY'RE IN MY PANTS!!!!

Wolverine: What tha hell?!

Zel: THE SQUIRRELS!! THE SQUIRRELS!!

Wolverine: *blinks for a few minutes before breaking out into loud howls of laughter*

Zel: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Malcho: *from where he's helping Kenshin string up garland around the staircase* Que? I could have sworn I just heard Zelgadis......Nah. *shakes his head and goes back to work*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(Back at Wal-Mart)

Lashana: *is pushing a cart down an isle in Wal-mart. Blackwargreymon had decided to go wander the store on his own, and she had no idea where Telca had gone to. Deciding that it wasn't worth worrying about, she headed for the Christmas section and the numerous boxes of indoor Christmas lights. She's just finished grabbing a good three dozen various boxes when she hears a familiar sound from behind her*

Telca: *is cackling under her breath as she stalks Lashana. When she's close enough, she grabs a wrapping paper roll and thwacks the Elf with it* En guard!

Lashana: *grabs a paper roll of her own and attacks Telca with a maniac scream, ignoring all the other people who are staring at them in shock as she and Telca continue their duel*

Employee: HEY! You can't do that here!

Lashana: Whoopsie. C'mon! *grabs Telca's arm, tosses her into the cart and runs like hell*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Blackwargreymon: *has no idea where Lashana had gone to and is currently being rather perverted as he walks through the lingerie and nightgown section while wondering what would look good on his Bonded*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Nightcrawler: *is trying to figure out why anyone would by a CD by a psychotic looking group called 'Slipknot'*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lashana: *has achieved perfect launching speed and is now perched on her cart like a surfer as it careens down an isle*

Telca: *sees a display directly ahead of them* LEAN LEFT!! LEAN LEFT!!!

Lashana: Right!

Telca: NO LEFT!!

Lashana: Right!

Telca: LEFT YOU IDIOT!! LLLEEEFFFTTTT!!

Lashana: I AM LEANING LEFT YOU PSYCHOTIC WACKO!!!

Telca: *as they zoom past the display* Oh. Okay then ^_^

Lashana: *rolls her eyes and yelps when they crash into two bins of fabric, sending them sprawling into said bins* Ow......

Telca: *lying upside down and sideways in the first bin of fabric* Did someone get the liscense of that speed bump?! @_@

Lashana: *groans and fights her way free of the bin, screaming when she sees that she's covered in a Barney fabric* GET IT OFF!! GET IT OFF!!! *freaks and starts throwing fireballs*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Blackwargreymon: *had been enjoying messing with the mind of a woman by constantly spinning every clothes rack she had ventured near when he heard the combined scream and explosion that could only have come from his Bonded* What the... *leaving the frazzled woman behind, he hopped over a cart and ran towards the explosions*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Telca: *fwaps Lashana* Stop that! You're going to burn down the entire store!!

Lashana: You say that like it's a bad thing.

Telca: We're IN the store!

Lashana: Oh yeah.... *looks around at the people that are staring at them in terror and grins, showing her fangs* Hi folks! ^_^

The Customers: *scream and run for their lives*

Lashana: Hmpft. Humans.

Telca: *has gotten hold of one of the employee phones* Um...Blacky? Come and find us before Lashana goes completely bugnuts and kills someone..... NOW!! *blinks as the entire store vibrates from her yelling* Oops. ^_^

Lashana: *sighs and climbs out of the fabric bin, taking a moment to look at the cart that had somehow remained upright* Kewl! The lights are still okay ^_^ *yelps when arms wrap around her waist to lift her off her feet and twists to look at her Bonded* Geez. Don't do that!

Blackwargreymon: *grins* Sorry.

Lashana: No you're not. But I'll keep you anyway. *throws her arms around his neck and hugs him*

Telca: Gag. *grabs the cart and heads for the toy section*

Lashana: *wriggles out of her Bonded's hold and runs after Telca, pausing at the beginning of an isle when she sees that her friend is activating every music playing and vibrating dolls, turning the isle into a veritable musical vibrating horror* O.o

Blackwargreymon: *walks over to where she's standing in shock and looks into the isle* o.O Um...Maybe we should think about heading out. *looks over his shoulder at the security guards and grabs Lashana as he runs down an isle, heading for the Christmas tree displays*

Lashana: What are you doing?!

Blackwargreymon: Keeping you safe from the security guards! *darts into another isle and skids to a stop near the Christmas tree decorations*

Lashana: Um...Blackwargreymon?

Blackwargreymon: Yeah? *looks at her and follows her pointing finger upwards, where a plastic mistletoe decoration is hanging directly above them* ^_^

Telca: *runs into the isle and skids to a stop at the sight of them kissing* AAAAUUUUGGGHHH!!! MY EYES!!!!! MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!!!! I MAY NEVER SEE AGAIN!!!!

Lashana: *pulls away from her Bonded and gives Telca a dirty look* Shut up, you.

Blackwargreymon: *growls*

Telca: *grins innocently* What? Ooo! Look at those decorations! *runs over to look at a box of said decorations* Oh they're gorgeous! *grabs the entire shelf supply and dumps it into the cart*

Lashana: O.o Uh...Telca? I thought that we just came here for lights...

Telca: *doesn't hear her as she continues filling the cart with dozens of boxes of decorations*

Blackwargreymon: *shrugs and kisses Lashana once more before setting the Elf on her feet* I'll go find Nightcrawler.

Lashana: Kewl. I'll bring wandering psycho over to the cashes. *waves 'bye' to him, grabs the cart and runs for it, laughing when Telca screams at her to stop and chases after her*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(Back at the ranch...er...I mean the Palace)

Duncan: *has remembered why he hated plucking birds*

Kang: *is wondering how the Immortal had managed to keep his head on his shoulders for over 400 years*

Duncan: *sneezes, sending a cloud of feathers flying everywhere* I dink I neeb a andihisstamid.

Kang: What the hell did you just say?

Duncan: *sneezes again* I sab dat I dink I neeb a andihisstamid! *sniffles*

Kang: ....rrriiggghhhttt.... *goes into the Kitchen in search of Kenshin and practicly runs over another woman* Uh...sorry. Um...you do know that Lashana and Telca tend to hurt any other females that show up here...right?

Lashana's Mother: *looks at him curiously for a moment* And you would be?

Kang: Kang. Commander of the First Dragonarmy Engineers, ma'am.

Lashana's Mother: Oh you're that character that Lashana loves so much from those Dragonlance books! I recognise you now! The cover of 'The Doom Brigade' does not do you justice.

Kang: *is now thouroughly baffled* You know Lashana? *pauses and does a double-take* She loves my character?!

Lashana's Mother: *ignores the shocked outburst* Oh that's right! You weren't here the last time I visited. I'm Lashana's Mother.

Kang: O.O

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Telca: *is now lost in Wal-Mart* Well shit. Now what? *she frowns as she looks around the isle and then grins* MARCO!!! ^_^

Lashana: *from three isles over * POLO!!! ^_^

Blackwargreymon: *from electronics where he and Nightcrawler are looking at DVD Players* Oh Gods..... They can't be.

Telca: *from across the store* MARCO!! ^_^

Lashana: POLO!! ^_^

Nightcrawler: They are. *grins and calls out* MARCO!!! ^_^

Blackwargreymon: *raises a hand to his forehead in an exasperated smack, sighing when he hears Telca's voice on the loudspeakers as she starts humming the Mission Impossible theme*

Lashana: *races the cart into electronics and grins* Heyla! ^_^

Nightcrawler: *grins and hops into the cart* Let's go find Telca! ^_^

Blackwargreymon: No! You're going to get yourselves arrested!! *sighs when Lashana sticks her tongue out at him before she spins the cart around and runs off* Oh Gods....

Telca: *is riding a bicycle through Wal-Mart while looking for Lashana* YO ELFY!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!?!

Lashana: *grins as she tilts the cart onto two wheels, skidding into the automotive section and coming to a stop mere inches from a boxed 'assembly required' scooter* Hmmm.... ^_^

Nightcrawler: *grins*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Wolverine: *is dragging the tree back to the Palace, snickering as he looks back at the chimera whose pant resemble something akin to cut off shorts*

Zelgadis: *hypothermic and shivering uncontrolably* S-s-shut-t-t u-u-p, h-h-airb-b-ball.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Telca: *still biking around Wal-Mart* Elfy!! ELFY! Where the flamin crap are you?!? *runs into Blackwargreymon, knocking him into a lingerie rack* Oops. *snickers when he gets to his feet again, numerous lacy 'things' hanging from the horns on his head* Making a new statement Blacky?

Blackwargreymon: *BLUSH*

Telca: *cackles evilly*

Blackwargreymon: *franticly pulls the stuff off of himself before looking at Telca again* Where's Lashana?

Telca: *shrugs* No idea. I was looking for her before you ran into me.

Blackwargreymon: Hey, YOU ran into ME.

Telca: You got in my way *pouts* You broke the bike too *looks at the bike that has a bent tire frame*

Blackwargreymon: -_-

Telca: C'mon. Let's go find the wacko Elf.

Lashana: *from the other side of the store* I HEARD THAT BATTLEAXE!!!

Telca: DON'T CALL ME BATTLEAXE!!! *blinks when numerous customers around her scream in pain and clutch at their heads* What? *looks around for a moment before spying a sequined blouse* Oooh. I just had the greatest Idea!!

Blackwargreymon: Oh Gods....

Telca: *runs around the womens clothes racks, grabbing numerous shirts and dresses and stuff before darting into a changing room*

Blackwargreymon: *is trying to silently sneak away, pausing in pure shock when Telca leaps out of the changing room decked out in so many sequined clothes that it actually hurts to look at her* @_@

Telca: *strikes a dramatic pose* As God as my witness....as God as my witness they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over I'll never be unsequined again. No, nor any of my folks. Even if I have to lie, steal, cheat, or kill. As God as my witness, I'll never go unsequined again!!!

Blackwargreymon: That was blatant stealing from a classic. I hope you know that.

Employee: HEY! What are you doing?!?!

Telca: Time to go! ^_^ *leaps back into the changing room to put on her own clothes. Seconds later she's out of the changing room and running like hell*

Blackwargreymon: *rolls his eyes and heads towards the automotive section*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lashana: *has opened up the most expensive tool kit she could find and the scooter box and is working with Nightcrawler to assemble it, cackling evilly under her breath as she does so* Fuzzy. Do me a favor and go find some fake snow or something.

Nightcrawler: *grins and bamfs out of the isle*

Blackwargreymon: *walks into automotives and pales when he sees that Lashana has just finished assembling a scooter* Oh Gods....

Telca: *sees the scooter and starts cackling as she runs over to help Lashana, grinning even more evilly when Nightcrawler bamfs back to them with an armfull of canned fake snow and silly string* ^___^

Blackwargreymon: Crap.

Telca: *rights the assembled scooter and climbs onto it, waiting until Lashana had seated herself behind her and Nightcrawler had managed to get a good grip on the front of the scooter*

Blackwargreymon: Um..I don't think those things are meant to hold three people*

Telca: *guns the engine (as much as one can gun the engine of a scooter) and races the thing down the isle, cackling as Lashana and Nightcrawler spray silly string and fake snow on Blacky as they putter by*

Blackwargreymon: *watches the trio ride the scooter across an isle and sighs* This is certainly not going to be a normal Christmas. *runs after them*

Telca, Lashana & Nightcrawler: *as they ride through Wal-Mart spraying customers with silly string and fake snow* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Ten minutes Later)

Lashana: Uh....Telca? I just ran out of fake snow

Nghtcrawler: And I just ran out of silly string.

Telca: Damn. Guess we'll have to go get more. *does a U-turn in the middle of an isle and heads back to the automotive department, slamming on the brakes when she sees a disgruntled employee standing there* What? We're testing it to see if it works! *gets glared at* Oh fine. I'll buy one for someone.

Lashana: *gets off the scooter and grabs the cart again, paling when the employee moves to put the scooter into the cart* Not that one! It's been used!!

Employee: -_-

Telca: *rumages around the other boxed scooters* All they have left is pink. Well, that settles that. I can't buy him a pink scooter now can I? Nevermind. *heads out of automotive with Lashana and Nightcrawler right behind her*

Lashana: *glances back and gestures to the tools strewen all over the floor* We don't need those tools anymore either ^_^

Employee: *twitches*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Blackwargreymon: *has no idea where anyone is, but upon seeing a store phone, he can't help but get a rather evil idea. He grabs it and chuckles before speaking into it* Attention faithful Wal-Mart shoppers, for the next ten minutes the entire toy department is now an additional 25% off ^_^

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lashana: That sounded like Blacky.

Nightcrawler: *pales* Um....we're in the toy department.

Telca: *hears a low rumbling sound and looks up to see hundreds of people stampeding towards them* Oh shit.

Nightcrawler: *leaps into the cart as Lashana spins it around and makes a run for it* We're all gonna die!!!!!

Telca: *as she runs* BLACKY I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!!!!!!!!

Lashana: *let's Telca take the cart and takes refuge at the top of a shelf, hanging millimeters above the rampaging customers* BLACKWARGREYMON!!!!!! YOU BASTARD!!!!!!

Blackwargreymon: *pales at the scream and leaps into the air, flying over to the toy section, wincing when he sees Telca and Nightcrawler running from the group of customers and his Bonded hanging off a shelf* Uh oh. *reacting quickly, he lifts his Bonded into his arms and winces a bit more when she smacks him upside the head*

Lashana: Are you trying to get us all killed?!?!

Blackwargreymon: I didn't know you were here!!

Nightcrawler: COWABUNGA!!!! *is holding on for dear life as the cart he's sitting in careens down an isle*

Telca: *is standing on the bar over the back wheels as she laughs maniacly*

Lashana: *wriggles out of her Bonded's arms and falls the few meters to the floor before running after Telca, using fireballs to clear a nice wide path through the customers*

Blackwargreymon: *is running after his Bonded, not having to worry about weaving around people since they had already thrown themselves out of the way of the insane Elf*

Lashana: *careens around a corner and come face to face with a security guard* Hello! ^_^ *spins around and makes a run for it*

Telca: *skids to a stop next to a cash and waits until Fuzzy had climbed out of the cart before literally upending the entire cart onto the conveyer belt, blinking at all the strange looks the other customers give her* What? *hears a loud scream and looks over in time to see Lashana running past while being chased by ten security guards* Oh dear....

Nightcrawler: *grins and...* ~BAMF~

Telca: *plants her fists on her hips and glares at the staring people* What the hell is your problem?!

Nightcrawler: *teleports over to Lashana, grabs her arm, and teleports them back to a waiting Telca* Got her ^_^

Telca: Hmpft. You were having fun without me.

Lashana: ^_^

Telca: *glares at her and hands the credit card to the cashier, waits while the bill prints out and signs it* I drive this time.

Lashana: NO! *runs out of the store and makes a beeline for the car*

Nightcrawler: Um...where's Blacky?

Telca: *looks around and notices a distinct lack of a certain large Digimon* Shit.

Lashana: *is in the drivers seat of the car. She re-hotwires it and drives over to the front door, waving at Telca and Fuzzy as they exit the store*

Telca: Um...we seem to have lost Blacky.

Lashana: Oh it's not that hard to find him. *raises her voice* OH, HI R'KAR!!

Blackwargreymon: *rampages out of the store* YOU GET AWAY FROM MY BONDED YOU LIT-- *pauses and looks around* Uh....

Telca: *grins at Blacky* Overprotective some?

Blackwargreymon: *grumbles*

Nightcrawler: *to Lashana as he sits in the front seat between her and Telca* Who's R'kar?

Lashana: A main character in a novel I'm working on. (insert blatant advertising of the Kelvita Novel here) *she glances back at Blacky and quickly banishes the invisibility spell she had placed on him*

Blackwargreymon: *still grumbling as he climbs into the back seat*

Telca: FLOOR IT!! ^_^

Blackwargreymon: *realizes that he voluntarily got back into the Car of Death* Oh SHIT!!

Lashana: BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!