Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ A Brother's Loss ❯ A Brother's Loss ( One-Shot )

Author's notes: This is a one-shot and I hope it's good enough. It's rather sad, actually. For some odd reason, I felt compelled to use the Japanese names.

It takes place in the future and Daisuke's about 16.

Oniisan (or oniichan, `niichan) means older brother and oneesan (oneechan, `neechan) older sister.

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. The show and all related characters belong to Toei Animation Co.

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A Brother's Loss

Perfect silence…

The youth shuddered. He was staring out the window, his forehead pushed against the cold, strangely cold glass. For minutes, he merely stood there, without blinking, watching the cold, almost freezing rain pour over empty streets. The murky sky held no hope of sunshine. Eventually, the boy let his eyelids close, two drops of salted water rolling down his cheeks, as silent as everything around him. On a desk nearby laid an opened notebook, his diary. The current date had been written down in agitation, unlike the paragraph that followed.

`April 13th, 2002

Not fair… Why?

I did love her…Don't go! I'll miss you…

Stupid car! Stupid Jun! Stupid fate! This can't be true, I want her back!

How am I supposed to cope with this? Right now, everything is a mess. Police investigation, funeral-what a horrible word!-, my life, feelings…

Looking up I see my last entry- about how she made me mad bec--

I can't write anymore…Jun…don't go…'

Two days later, a small group of people stood by a newly closed grave. `Jun Motomiya'. The name, just like the date of birth and of death were freshly engraved on the stone. On one side there stood the parents, lost in their grieving, dumb and deaf for anything but the tragic death of their only daughter. At least they had each other.

On the other side, Daisuke stared blankly before him, with the same emotionless expression as when looking for three hours out the window. Or when making a declaration for the police, describing the accident blow-by-blow. Or when watching his sister's lifeless body buried beneath the heavy soil. Appearances deceive… On the inside, hundreds of emotions battled with each other, seeking the dominance of Daisuke's soul. Pain, rage, sadness, hurt, anger, madness, sorrow, fear, dread, anguish, all opposing his sanity in a fight it was sure to lose.

Few meters behind Daisuke, some friends and digidestined had remained all feeling simply devastated. Momoe Inoue, her eyes red from crying, was leaning against her sister, still sobbing. Shuu Kido, former boyfriend, was blowing his nose as silently as possible, reliving the times they had shared. Takeru and Hikari were quietly holding hands and supporting each other. The memory of signing her shirt was haunting the blond boy, whereas the child of light, sorrowful as she was, still noticed bits of the world around her. Yamato standing dejected right next to her, bangs blowing in his eyes; Ken shaking, lost in a world of his own; most of all, Daisuke, pale and silent, standing alone in front of his sister's grave.

Yamato was not surprised to find himself truly tormented by the idea that she was gone, that he would never see her again. Obsessive and annoying at first, after she had backed off, Jun had turned out to be one of the most sweet, funny, honest and caring persons he had ever met. As both had a little brother, Yamato had quickly understood her love for Daisuke and this only added more respect to his opinion of her.

Blessed-or cursed- with the ability of truly and deeply caring for his friends, the child of friendship heard and accepted his heart's depressing whispers. They told him of the hardships of this loss. Crystal blue eyes blurred for a second and as he shook his head to lose the tears, he saw Daisuke standing alone. `But I am not the only one who mourns. How will Daisuke, so dedicated to keeping a team united, be able to cope with losing one of the main persons who kept his life together? Oh, Jun… I'll be there for him, we all will, but nobody can replace his sister…' he thought.

Ken was, indeed, shaking. He had come, saddened, to support his best friend, but in doing so he had forgotten the last funeral he had attended: his brother's. The similarity between the two experiences struck him the very moment he entered the cemetery, the terrible memories coming back, just as bad, just as frightening as when Osamu had died. Ken felt himself suddenly become the small, terrified child again. `Oniisan… What happened? It's my fault you disappeared!' Fear, shame, and above all guilt surrounded the latest chosen child once again. Images hauntingly played before his eyes, again and again. The car hitting his brother, Osamu's eyes widening in shock and terrible pain, his body thrown into the air, a shoe flying over the automobile; his mother crying on his father's shoulder, both grieving; the dark funeral where he, a small child, was lost in fear among the strange people, all dressed in black. `Oniisan…' the irrational, but all the more intense terror swept over the youth, making him shiver. `Osamu! `Niichan!' He couldn't breathe, he couldn't move. `No, no, no…' His mind echoed the denials Ken had spoken over the years. The boy unconsciously let a strangled cry escape his lips and almost fell in the dirt.

"Ken?" Hikari's shy voice was filled with concern.

As if in a dream, Daisuke turned his head and with the same expressionless mask walked, or rather floated towards his jogress partner. He lifted Ken by a hand and simply stared into his eyes, trying to determine whether his friend was all right. The blue-haired youth's panic slowly but surely faded away, partly due to seeing that Daisuke and the others, who had gathered round, did care, partly due to his own innate sense of responsibility, which told him not to dwell on the past and partly due to the smouldering pain burning in Daisuke's eyes. A thought on his selfishness flashed through his mind, but was immediately replaced with concern for his friend. `Can I help him? I feel so powerless... And yet… he has been here so many times to cheer me up-and Jun as well- I simply must find a way to release the pain he feels before it eats away at him.'

Thinking about the others gives you strength. They thought about another and strove to reach him.

"Daisuke!" Determination burned steadily in his friend's eyes. "I won't let you sink into despair. I am your friend, I care, and I know how it's like to lose someone you love… Please, don't hide inside, where you can't be reached, it only hurts more…"

`Jun…don't go…'

"Daisuke," tried the child of light, "let it out, please! We know it hurts, but let us share your pain!"

"I already have seen how my sister has a nervous fit, don't you dare breakdown by yourself!" cried Miyako.

"Daisuke," Ken spoke up again, "the bond between you and your sister was very strong, but now that it's gone, you must cling to your relations with other people, for support. Like a spider web, if you like - when one of the wires supporting it gets broken, more weight falls on the other wires. With persons, it's slightly different, because when a bond is destroyed, one can choose to ignore the other ones-like you did. And sometimes…sometimes the other wires cannot support the extra weight. And they snap. Leaving the spider to start over. Again, with people it's different, because if one loses every bond…if one loses every bond…" Ken's voice trailed off, reminiscing his time as the Kaiser.

By this time, Daisuke's pain-numbed mind began to realize the other talking to him, trying-trying to help?

Ken found his voice again and continued. "I-we- don't want to see you cutting off connections! We're friends, we face trouble together!"

"Daisuke," added Yamato, "I too know how it's like to have a broken bond. It's hard. And I can only imagine the pain you're suffering, but Jun-Jun never liked you to be sad. Fight the pain, Daisuke, and try to see we're all grieving, but as friends we grieve together!"

The boy had grimaced at the sound of his sister's name. ` `Neechan.'

Jun's friends forgot about their personal sorrow and focused on Daisuke, not wanting to lose him too.

"I'll miss Jun so much," Momoe said. "But it will be easier, knowing I can talk about her with someone who knew her so well."

"Please count on me," Shuu simply said.

"We were both your and Jun's friends. Now that she is gone, we want to preserve her memory jointly. No matter what, I, for one, will stick by you."

Without even realizing so, Yamato felt responsible for the younger boy and wowed to himself to protect him and treat him like a little brother, as he didn't have an older sibling any more.

The battling emotions within Daisuke's soul fought even more fiercely, new ones joining in. His thoughts were all mixed up. `Jun…gone. My friends…'

They had gathered round him, Miyako and Momoe, Takeru and Hikari, Shuu, Ken, Yamato. They were there, he realized.

`Jun… `Neechan…'

Daisuke turned towards the grave. `My family…incomplete… Mama, papa!' He rushed into the wide-open arms of his parents, tears spilling from his eyes for the first time.

Only a minute later, he knelt before his sister's grave, crying his pain and despair and incomprehension of why this had to happen, letting the tears take some suffering with them.

"I'd like to say everything is going to be all right," Yamato voiced his thoughts, "but even harder times will come and it will be tough for Daisuke to cope."

The friends around him said nothing, knowing he was right, yet silently resolving to support the one who so desperately needed their help.

The end

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All right, that was it! What do you think? I'm very eager to know your opinion so please write a review!