Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ DiaRangers ❯ Recruitment ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Diaries Guild 
A simple chat session leads five wannabe writers to a reality that truly is stranger than fiction.
Anime/Manga: Digimon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Adventure / Action / Martial Arts / Mecha / Sci-fi / | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.08.2004 | Pages: 5 | Words: 5.1K | Visits: 582 | Status: Completed
A simple chat session leads five wannabe writers to a reality that truly is stranger than fiction.
Anime/Manga: Digimon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Adventure / Action / Martial Arts / Mecha / Sci-fi / | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.08.2004 | Pages: 5 | Words: 5.1K | Visits: 582 | Status: Completed
DiaRangers
created by The Diaries Guild
Disclaimer : Mighty Morphin Power Rangers is owned by Saban. Digimon is owned by Toei. All other personages are owned by their respective owners.
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Episode 1 : Recruitment
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The man known as Canis Black woke up and wished he didn't. The oblivion he had felt was much more pleasant than the piercing white light that seemed like two red hot pokers on his retinas. All he could remember was being on his computer, in a chat room, and then there was this weird psychedelic light. hell, it was like a flash of black, not the ultraviolet black light, but light that was actually BLACK. And then.
He then realized that he was NOT in his room and that the surroundings were completely unfamiliar. It was a simple room, cut stone walls with odd runes covering the floor, ceiling, and walls. And weirdest of all, he was not alone.
Three other people, from mid teens to early twenties were sprawled, unconscious, on the floor, in seemingly uncomfortable positions. All were breathing. Weirder still was a fourth young man was awake, kneeling in front of one of the stones, attempting to read the runes.
"Now THESE seem to be similar to Asian characters, yet seems to blend with the cuneiform and hieroglyphics seamlessly. Was the carver bilingual? Perhaps a word in one language substituted for another." The young man seemed intent on his work. He was shy of six feet tall by a few inches, but his hiking boots boosted him to nearly six feet even. His khaki pants seemed to be offset by the forest green shirt he wore, along with the green biker's gloves on both hands. He adjusted his glasses, and stared at the walls with hazel eyes, and ran his other hand through his dark brown hair. He had a round face, and seemed a lot like a younger child, if not for the long sideburns and goatee he sported.
"What are you doing?" Canis asked the man, who jumped nearly five feet.
"Ah, you're awake! Good, I was starting to wonder when one of you'd wake up!" He seemed happy, rubbing his hands in a nervous manner.
"Are you the one who did this to us?" he gestured to the unconscious teens next to him.
The man in green shook his head, "Nope, I'm in the same boat as you. I just woke up forty-five minutes before you did, and I had very little to do but worry about where the hell I was. I've been trying to interpret what the hell these runes mean just to keep from dying of boredom."
Canis raised an eyebrow, "Do you normally study hieroglyphs?"
"Nope, hell I'm worse off than I started," he started laughing, then groaned and put his head in his hands, "What the hell is going on here?! I go out for a hike, I go to work, I come home, chat with some online friends, then POOF! There's a flash of green light, and when I wake up, I'm in a strange room with four sleeping people!"
Canis was unsure of what to say, until he picked up on something, "Chat?! Were you in a chat room when the light hit you?!"
The green man nodded, "Yeah. You were too?"
"Yes." He thought for a moment, "What's your screenname?"
"I usually go by griffinguy24."
Canis's jaw dropped open, "You're Ryan Griffin?!"
He nodded, "Yeah, how'd you know?"
He pointed to himself, "I'm Canis Black."
Ryan Griffin got to his feet, "Canis?! That's you?!" Canis nodded, "Dude, I had no idea what you might look like and you STILL don't look like I'd have expected."
Canis rubbed the back of his head, disturbing his ponytail of brown hair. He stood just over six feet, and in his boots, he was taller than Ryan. He was clad in black pants, a white T-shirt, and a black leather jacket, which, he realized, he was not wearing before.
He looked at Ryan with his blue eyes, "Were you wearing that when you were back home?"
Ryan shook his head, "Nope. Guess you weren't in your outfit either?"
Canis shook his head, and a groan signified that another of their companions was awake.
Ryan shook his head, "Good thing the time lapse is shorter," he said, as they went to check their companion. He was slightly shorter then either of them, wearing white and blue tennis shoes, long blue shorts, a white shirt, and an open long-sleeved denim blue shirt. He had short brown hair, sideburns and fuzz on his chin (although neither as long or as prominent as Ryan's). He opened his grayish blue eyes and looked at Canis, then at Ryan.
"Who are you and what do you want with me," he said in an English accent, his eyes glaring at them.
"Easy man, we're all in the same boat. We were just concerned for your well being. Plus there's not a lot to do here," Ryan gestured to the empty room.
Canis laughed, "Don't worry, we're not going to hurt you. I'm Canis Black."
"Ryan Griffin."
The boy got to his feet, "You HAVE to be fucking with me."
"Guess you were in the chat too. And you are.?" Ryan ventured.
"Misc666," the boy answered.
Ryan went smacked his forehead, "Dagh! I should've guessed from your accent"
Canis chuckled, "Well, we're not sure how this'll go. Hopefully the other two will wake up soon and whoever decided to pull this crap will tell us why he decided to pull it."
The younger boy simply went over to one of his sleeping companions and began kicking him.
Ryan moved to stopped Misc, then stopped himself, "I suppose that none of us are injured."
Canis rose an eyebrow at that.
Ryan shook his head, "I had no idea if any of you guys were injured in whatever it was that got us here. If you had a spinal injury or something, jostling you could've killed you."
Canis looked at the way Misc was kicking their companion, "I am SO glad you woke up first."
Finally the boy rustled, "I'm up, I'm up. Geez, what's going on?" the young man asked, struggling to his feet. He was the tallest of the group, with a medium build. He had longish dark brown hair and auburn eyes. He was wearing yellowish khaki pants, like Ryan, a white shirt, and an open yellow jacket.
"Where am I and who are you?" he asked, incredulous.
"For your first question, we're not sure. The second, I'm Canis Black."
"Ryan Griffin."
The boy in blue stopped nudging their last companion, "Jon, a.k.a. Misc666."
The man in yellow stared, "Wow. I'm Rocker Starlight."
Ryan shook his head, "Figures." He then looked at his last companion, who Misc kept nudging, "I'm assuming that since she's a girl, that she'd be Lady Iapetus. You know, considering she's the only female of our little author group."
Canis nodded, and Misc yelped as the last member of their little group awoke and promptly smacked Misc's shins when he was kicking her, "Leeme alone." she mumbled, until she realized what had happened,
"Where am I?!" she yelled, "Who are you?!"
Canis held up his hands at the screaming brunette, "Cool your jets, we're just as clueless as you are. We were in his chat room, when suddenly this flash of light hit us."
She looked at him, "You were there?"
"Yup. I'm Canis, and these guys are Ryan, Rocker, and Misc. I assume you're Iap?"
The girl nodded, then look a her clothes, "Some pervert decide to play dress up with us?" She gestured to her pink shirt and jeans, "Ugh, why'd they decide to give me pink?!"
"Same reason they gave me yellow," Rocker regarded his yellow jacket with a degree of disgust.
Ryan paced around for a bit, "Well, at least now we're all awake. Maybe we'll all be able to-" He leaned against a wall, and it glowed a luminescent green color and disappeared, revealing a white expanse. He stood in shock, "I have NO idea how that happened."
Canis looked at him, then began touching the other three walls, provoking no response. He tried the floor, no response. Finally, he ventured the ceiling, which in turn burst into the odd black light and revealed white expanse beyond them.
The other three repeated the measure, Misc's wall breaking up in a flash of blue, Rocker's a flash of yellow, and Iap's a flash of pink. After only the floor was left, it began glowing red with a dying light, like a flashlight on its last legs, and the white expanse swirled and transformed into a high tech chamber, with a strange white glass globe on one end and a long tube on the other. There were tons of switchboards and meters on the boards, all for a function that could have been anyone's guess. Ryan went over to take a closer look at one of the terminals.
"Spirits and sorcerers! Don't touch those!" from another section of the chamber came, of all things, a robot. It looked rather humanoid, aside from the emerald plating, the visible circuitry, the head shaped like a flying saucer, with sensor lights pacing back and forth.
"Hells bells!" Ryan flew backwards, landed on his ass, and scooted backwards.
"What the hell are you?" Canis stepped forward in wonderment.
"My name is Kyle, well technically Kyle-5 considering this is the fifth robot body I've been in since my real body's death. Anyway, those controls measure magical energies. It's really important that they don't break."
Ryan got up and nodded slowly, "Are you the one that brought us here?"
Kyle shook his head, "No, I'm merely a servant to-"
"To me," a voice interrupted, and all five turned their heads to look at the tube, for appearing in it, in a grainy picture, was what appeared to be a human head. It wore a helmet, like a Middle Age knight, with what appeared to be a bull's horns protruding where the ears should be. Worst of all was that the face was completely shadowed, as black as pitch, aside from the glowing fire red eyes like coals embers, complete with red smoke coming from them.
For a while, none of those present said anything. Then one broke the silence.
"Cool!" Misc said.
The being chuckled, "I think I'm going to like you. As you may have guessed, I am the one who called you here. The stones were a method of determining whether or not you possessed the abilities that I require."
Ryan tentatively raised his hand, "Uh, pardon my rudeness, but who are you and will whatever you called us here for cost us our souls?"
The being seemed to raise one eyebrow despite having no visible eyebrows, "Second question: No. First question: I am a wizard known as Lord Archive. I was big time back a couple of millennia. Long story short, I was facing this witch and I managed to imprison her, but she trapped me in this time warp dimension. I'm immortal, never aging, but I can't interact with this dimension at all except through this display."
"Are you even human? What's with the horns and no discernible face?" Ryan asked
"I am a human, by biological standards. For my face, this is a form I was forced to take after a nasty run in with a few spell components. Looking upon my true face would cause your eyes to explode and various components of your brain to liquefy. And these aren't horns. They're dragon fangs. Killed the dragon myself," Lord Archive smiled, showing gleaming silver sharp teeth.
"And the eyes?" Ryan asked, hoping he wasn't pushing his luck.
Archive seemed to shrug, "Once I realized I had a look going I just went for it."
Canis shoved Ryan to the back, "As fascinating as this is, I would like an explanation as to why we are here."
Archive grinned and nodded, "Of course. The witch that zapped me in here? Well, she and her cronies are free again, and they're up to no good. I called you here to warn you."
Rocker raised an eyebrow, "You put a lot of effort into this if it was just to warn us."
Archive nodded, "I am a being of great power, but even my power has its limits. Back when I was in my prime, I discovered a way to allow ordinary non-magical humans to become warriors of great power, to call upon spirits inside of them to battle those who would enslave them, allow them to become guardians. Wardens. Rangers."
The group took this in, with varying reactions. Misc rose an eyebrow and held a bemused smirk. Ryan's eyes shone a bit with anticipation. Canis stroked his chin. Rocker leaned back against a terminal, showing no outward reaction. Iapetus chose to vocalize her views.
"That is corny beyond belief."
The group chuckled a bit, Archive included, and Archive spoke again, "Indeed. I was a bit idealistic in those days. Nevertheless, it was effective. I chose six young people to become my Rangers and fight the witch. After the battle that imprisoned me, the power of one of the Rangers was lost to me, but I kept the powers of the remaining five. This day, I have chosen you to become my Rangers and protect your world."
The five humans looked at each other.
"Us?" Canis asked, "You chose US to be superheroes?"
"I have read your online works and studied your chats. You five are resourceful, open-minded, suitable candidates for my purposes. I chose my original Rangers by reading their diaries, the thoughts that they reveal when they fear no retribution. You five meet the same criteria they did, and as such, you shall become the second generation of DiaRangers!"
At that proclamation, some snickers were present.
"I can IMAGINE the awful diarrhea puns we'd have to hear for this."
Archive fumed, "You DARE poke fun?! I chose the five of you out of all the living humans on Earth and you dare mock this privilege?"
Rocker chuckled, "Apologies, but it IS a humorous name. Plus. I mean, you're the floating disembodied demon head, but this seems really tough to believe."
Archive seemed to smirk, "Well, then, take a look behind you."
The five did so, to find that the globe opposite the display tube was playing a scene, on the moon, three misshapen creatures building a palace on the moon in under five minutes.
"These are the creatures that threaten your future: The witch known as Merry Mei Mo'Malley and her two stooges Reff Rimoy and Tob Tulcholz. The three of them are rebuilding their old headquarters by editing the timestream," he let the five watch these creatures and the power they possessed, "Do you still disbelieve?"
There was an uncomfortable silence.
Archive sighed, "Then you leave me with no choice. I cannot, however, let you go away unprotected," In a flash of light, five belt buckles appeared in each person's hand, "They will respond to your spirits. If you accept their power, they with allow you to morph into a DiaRanger. Otherwise. I have nothing more for you. Leave if you wish."
Canis asked, "How DO we leave."
Archive grinned, and a door slid open, "Don't let it hit you on the way out."
Canis boggled, "What about that painful yet efficient flash of light?"
Archive shook his head, "I never said I had to be nice."
The five kids left, completely unceremoniously.
Kyle-5 shook his head, "By the six powers, this was a disaster."
Archive shook his head, "No Kyle, we still have time yet."
Kyle boggled, "But they rejected your offer."
Archive smiled, "They'll come around once they realize the severity of the situation. And if not," Archive sighed, "Then they would have made poor Rangers anyway."
Meanwhile, the fivesome found themselves stranded in the middle of an unrecognizable desert.
Canis's eyes bugged out, "Maybe we should've given the floating head the benefit of the doubt."
******
"So...."
Reff Rimoy and Tob Tulcholz looked at each other as the witch, Merry Mei Mo'Malley who stood up from peering at her computer screen. "Archive has chosen the five for his DiaRangers. No, this won't do. This won't do at all. I cannot correct reality if they are in my way. Reff!"
"Yes, my queen?" Reff Rimoy was a tall misshapen man with a shadowy clock barely covering a multi-colored pastel suit. He also carried a sword that looked like a giant heart on one end with a blade stuck to it.
"Accompany a group of Dubbies," Merry Mei said, sitting down on her large throne. "Archive's naughtiness will not go unpunished. Oh, no it won't." Her smile turned sickeningly cute.
Around the throne room, several creatures in bright cheerful colors appeared. They were hunched over slightly, with stone faces colored in rainbows, as with the rest of their bodies in uniform stripes of green, yellow, pink and blue. The giggled happily as they awaited the command.
"Now go!" Merry Mei commanded.
*******
"Where the hell are we?" Canis griped loudly into the desert.
"I'd say butt fucking egypt," replied Misc, folding his arms.
"It's hot," remarked Rocker.
"No shit," replied Iapetus. "So, where to, oh mighty Naturalist?"
Ryan scowled as he looked around the area. It was nothing but badlands and desert for a good while. Scrambling up to the top of a formation that looked sturdy enough, he peered out. "We're near mountians, but that looks like a good walk. I'd say head towards the forest just way over that-a-way."
There was general grumblings but they returned to the slow heat driven plodding towards the forest in the distance.
Suddenly, the air was rent with the skrrzzch of teleportation as creatures flashed into existance around them. Leading them was the golden warrior, Reff Rimoy who shouted, "Go! Make them hurt!"
The Dubbies gurgled and giggled before launching themselves at the five.
Canis ducked the first strike and delivered a powerful kick into the stomach of the on rushing Dubbie.
"What the hell are these things?!" He cried, getting manhandled as he was propelled sideways by a fierce kick.
"I have no idea!" shouted Misc as he swung one over his shoulder and stomped down on it. It didn't get up but two more arrived in its' wake.
Iapetus ducked, weaved and tried to get out of the way. "They look like Putties, from the Power Rangers TV show!"
"Just great," grumbled Ryan as he backed up, nearly bowling Rocker over. "Are we getting anywhere with this?" He punched and kicked, but winced at the toughness of the Dubbie armor.
"Not really." Rocker ducked, grabbed a rock and slammed it over the head of the nearby Dubbie. The foot soldier went down like a sack of potatoes. "They're kinda vulnerable to head shots."
Canis rammed two into the wall of a rock formation but was shoved into the wall and his head was repeatedly banged against it. Bracing himself against the wall, he pushed outwards, shoving the Dubbie who had a hold onto his head into solid rock. It whimpered and burst into sparkles. "Hit them hard! They'll break apart! WHOA!" Two more tried to use his head as a battering ram and he weaved out of their paths.
"Easier said than done, Canis!" shouted Ryan.
********
"Aw, shit! They're getting mangled out there, Archive!" Kyle-5 announced.
"I see," said Archive, his eyes narrowing. "Let us hope, they will allow the Power to become one with them. Otherwise all is lost."
******
Misc joined the others backed against the wall as he puffed tiredly. "Any bright ideas?" he asked Canis who was gasping beside him.
"I can think of one," said Canis, grabbing the Morpher from his belt.
Ryan looked skeptical but the onrush of Dubbies who decided to draw weapons out of subspace made his decision. He reached for his morpher and the words came instinctively.
"POWER OF HENTAI!"
"DiaRanger Pink! Power of the Rabbit!" Iapetus was clothed in an almost solid pink spandex outfit with white highlights around the boots, chest and her helmet was styled like a rabbit, including bunny ears. She also had a skirt on her outfit.
"DiaRanger Yellow! Power of the Wyvern!" Likewise, Rockers outfit was solid, but in yellow spandex with the similar white highlights and his helmet was styled like a drake.
"DiaRanger Blue! Power of the Cthulhu!" Misc's outfit was a deep dark blue spandex with white on it. His helmet was styled like an unspeakable horror.
"DiaRanger Green! Power of the Jaguar!" A deep forest green was Ryan's spandex outfit and his helmet had a distinct Jaguar motif to it.
"DiaRanger Black! Power of the Wolf!" Canis outfit was a deep dark black spandex that seemed to suck up the light around him. His helmet was a bit fancier, and sported a wolf helmet.
"DiaRangers!" The five exclaimed, dropping into poses.
Reff Rimoy was not impressed. "Get them!"
"PenBlades!" Five pens were extended into blades and they ran into the battle, hacking and slashing.
Yellow and Pink fought back to back as they kicked and punched like a whirlwind. Many of the Dubbies exploded into sparkles with the power of the attacks. Iapetus' "Die die die die die!" chant was helping the Dubbies decision not to attack them.
Blue, Black and Green were taking on three fronts, at times getting into each others way but other times, helping each other as their attacks landed on the enemy. Black charged up his Animal Saber and did a spiral cut that slashed several into two pieces. Both halves exploded into brilliant sparkles.
"Jaguar Animal Rush!" Green Ranger called out, flashing into a speedy attack as he zoomed in and out of the attacking enemies. They froze and exploded into sparkles.
"Sonic Wolf Howl!" Black Rangers' Wolf ears on his helmet raised and he thrust out his hands in a claw strike. The amps howled to life and they ripped several to shreds.
"Cthulhu Tentacle Strike!" The shadows came to life under Blue Ranger and they pierced the chests of the oncoming attackers. They too exploded into sparkles.
"Wyvern Fire!" A stream of fire burst from Yellow Rangers' mouthpiece, alighting several on fire. Quick slashes later, and they collapsed and exploded.
"Bunny PUMMEL!" Giant weapons of mass destruction appeared around Iapetus as she grabbed the arsenal and locked on. "Later," she remarked, pulling the trigger.
In the silence of the explosion, Reff Rimoy wailed, "I'm BLIND! I'll get you next time, DiaRangers, and all those flashing spots before my eyes too!" He then vanished into a cloud of dust.
"That was cool!" Misc yelled as he detransformed.
"What?" shouted Rocker.
"It was really cool!" shouted Canis.
"What did you say?" shouted Ryan.
"We should get back to Archive's place!" Iapetus shouted, trying to be heard.
*******
"How could you be defeated by mere humans?" Exclaimed Merry Mei. She was quite upset with the loss of the day. "We can't be stopped! Not now!"
"My queen," said Tob. Tob was a creature in old work clothing. "It is a mere set back."
"Well see that it won't be just a mere setback next time!" Merry Mei drummed her nails on the armrest. "I can't have that world stay the same. It must be reshaped into something better! Something more.... fitting."
Evil laughter followed.
******
"You did well today DiaRangers, but there will be more challenges ahead." rumbled Archive.
"Hold on," said Canis, folding his arms. "There's more of those suckers out there?"
"Yes," said Archive. "Merry Mei has many Dubbies at her disposal. As well as Reff who is an excellent strategist and their monster maker, Tob. It will be a hard battle. Do you accept the conditions of the fight?"
"So we have to choose between these powers and a normal life?" Iapetus scowled. "Doesn't seem like a good choice right now."
"I'm in," said Ryan, startling all of them. "I think we need to stop this witch from destroying this world."
"Yeah, same here," said Rocker. "I guess saving the world can't be too bad, right?"
Misc smirked. "I'm in. I LIKE my power animal." The four chuckled and Archive's teeth were bared in a silver smirk.
"I guess I'm in as well," Canis said with a shrug. "Someone has to keep the others in line."
"And you think you can?" Iapetus jibed. "Aw well, I guess I'm in as well."
"Very well. I bestow upon you the official title of DiaRangers. You may want to keep your identities a secret and overusing your powers can't be too benificial." Archive seemed to shrug even with the absence of shoulders. "I put too many restrictions on my old team. It was amazing they didn't get squashed."
"Well, just as a reference," said Rocker, "my name is Eric. Eric Hibbs."
"Jon, as you know," said Misc.
"Ryan Griffin is my name, as far as I'm concerned," said Ryan, a smirk on his face.
"Canis Black," said Canis, folding his arms.
"Kim... Kim Gyorkos." said Iapetus reluctantly.
"Then it's settled. I will teleport you to the outskirts of The City of Fiction. I have a residence set up for all of you, and computer access as well. No sense letting those creative minds go to waste." Archive smirked. "You're relocating. This might sting a bit."
In a flash of light, five pillars of black, green, blue, yellow and pink flashed out of the Command Center.
*******
Authors' Notes:
Why 'Power of Hentai'
Hentai means to transform/change as well as pervert. The double meaning was used in Ranma 1/2 as why Akane kept calling Ranma a 'hentai.' Hentai also happens to be written with the kanji for 'strange' and 'brain.' (Yes, henshin means 'to transform' but so can the English word 'change' be used instead of transform. Two different words, similar meaning.)
DiaRangers is a Power Rangers parody story, written by Diaries Authors using Digimon Influences. In short, it's supposed to be silly, greatly over powered, and breaking about 100 Power Ranger rules in the process. Have fun reading.
Credit goes to Ryan Griffin and Shaun Garin for writing the story, Lord Archive for editing the story and the rest of the Diaries Crew who put their input into the story to make this all possible by building the foundations of the DiaRanger universe.
created by The Diaries Guild
Disclaimer : Mighty Morphin Power Rangers is owned by Saban. Digimon is owned by Toei. All other personages are owned by their respective owners.
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Episode 1 : Recruitment
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The man known as Canis Black woke up and wished he didn't. The oblivion he had felt was much more pleasant than the piercing white light that seemed like two red hot pokers on his retinas. All he could remember was being on his computer, in a chat room, and then there was this weird psychedelic light. hell, it was like a flash of black, not the ultraviolet black light, but light that was actually BLACK. And then.
He then realized that he was NOT in his room and that the surroundings were completely unfamiliar. It was a simple room, cut stone walls with odd runes covering the floor, ceiling, and walls. And weirdest of all, he was not alone.
Three other people, from mid teens to early twenties were sprawled, unconscious, on the floor, in seemingly uncomfortable positions. All were breathing. Weirder still was a fourth young man was awake, kneeling in front of one of the stones, attempting to read the runes.
"Now THESE seem to be similar to Asian characters, yet seems to blend with the cuneiform and hieroglyphics seamlessly. Was the carver bilingual? Perhaps a word in one language substituted for another." The young man seemed intent on his work. He was shy of six feet tall by a few inches, but his hiking boots boosted him to nearly six feet even. His khaki pants seemed to be offset by the forest green shirt he wore, along with the green biker's gloves on both hands. He adjusted his glasses, and stared at the walls with hazel eyes, and ran his other hand through his dark brown hair. He had a round face, and seemed a lot like a younger child, if not for the long sideburns and goatee he sported.
"What are you doing?" Canis asked the man, who jumped nearly five feet.
"Ah, you're awake! Good, I was starting to wonder when one of you'd wake up!" He seemed happy, rubbing his hands in a nervous manner.
"Are you the one who did this to us?" he gestured to the unconscious teens next to him.
The man in green shook his head, "Nope, I'm in the same boat as you. I just woke up forty-five minutes before you did, and I had very little to do but worry about where the hell I was. I've been trying to interpret what the hell these runes mean just to keep from dying of boredom."
Canis raised an eyebrow, "Do you normally study hieroglyphs?"
"Nope, hell I'm worse off than I started," he started laughing, then groaned and put his head in his hands, "What the hell is going on here?! I go out for a hike, I go to work, I come home, chat with some online friends, then POOF! There's a flash of green light, and when I wake up, I'm in a strange room with four sleeping people!"
Canis was unsure of what to say, until he picked up on something, "Chat?! Were you in a chat room when the light hit you?!"
The green man nodded, "Yeah. You were too?"
"Yes." He thought for a moment, "What's your screenname?"
"I usually go by griffinguy24."
Canis's jaw dropped open, "You're Ryan Griffin?!"
He nodded, "Yeah, how'd you know?"
He pointed to himself, "I'm Canis Black."
Ryan Griffin got to his feet, "Canis?! That's you?!" Canis nodded, "Dude, I had no idea what you might look like and you STILL don't look like I'd have expected."
Canis rubbed the back of his head, disturbing his ponytail of brown hair. He stood just over six feet, and in his boots, he was taller than Ryan. He was clad in black pants, a white T-shirt, and a black leather jacket, which, he realized, he was not wearing before.
He looked at Ryan with his blue eyes, "Were you wearing that when you were back home?"
Ryan shook his head, "Nope. Guess you weren't in your outfit either?"
Canis shook his head, and a groan signified that another of their companions was awake.
Ryan shook his head, "Good thing the time lapse is shorter," he said, as they went to check their companion. He was slightly shorter then either of them, wearing white and blue tennis shoes, long blue shorts, a white shirt, and an open long-sleeved denim blue shirt. He had short brown hair, sideburns and fuzz on his chin (although neither as long or as prominent as Ryan's). He opened his grayish blue eyes and looked at Canis, then at Ryan.
"Who are you and what do you want with me," he said in an English accent, his eyes glaring at them.
"Easy man, we're all in the same boat. We were just concerned for your well being. Plus there's not a lot to do here," Ryan gestured to the empty room.
Canis laughed, "Don't worry, we're not going to hurt you. I'm Canis Black."
"Ryan Griffin."
The boy got to his feet, "You HAVE to be fucking with me."
"Guess you were in the chat too. And you are.?" Ryan ventured.
"Misc666," the boy answered.
Ryan went smacked his forehead, "Dagh! I should've guessed from your accent"
Canis chuckled, "Well, we're not sure how this'll go. Hopefully the other two will wake up soon and whoever decided to pull this crap will tell us why he decided to pull it."
The younger boy simply went over to one of his sleeping companions and began kicking him.
Ryan moved to stopped Misc, then stopped himself, "I suppose that none of us are injured."
Canis rose an eyebrow at that.
Ryan shook his head, "I had no idea if any of you guys were injured in whatever it was that got us here. If you had a spinal injury or something, jostling you could've killed you."
Canis looked at the way Misc was kicking their companion, "I am SO glad you woke up first."
Finally the boy rustled, "I'm up, I'm up. Geez, what's going on?" the young man asked, struggling to his feet. He was the tallest of the group, with a medium build. He had longish dark brown hair and auburn eyes. He was wearing yellowish khaki pants, like Ryan, a white shirt, and an open yellow jacket.
"Where am I and who are you?" he asked, incredulous.
"For your first question, we're not sure. The second, I'm Canis Black."
"Ryan Griffin."
The boy in blue stopped nudging their last companion, "Jon, a.k.a. Misc666."
The man in yellow stared, "Wow. I'm Rocker Starlight."
Ryan shook his head, "Figures." He then looked at his last companion, who Misc kept nudging, "I'm assuming that since she's a girl, that she'd be Lady Iapetus. You know, considering she's the only female of our little author group."
Canis nodded, and Misc yelped as the last member of their little group awoke and promptly smacked Misc's shins when he was kicking her, "Leeme alone." she mumbled, until she realized what had happened,
"Where am I?!" she yelled, "Who are you?!"
Canis held up his hands at the screaming brunette, "Cool your jets, we're just as clueless as you are. We were in his chat room, when suddenly this flash of light hit us."
She looked at him, "You were there?"
"Yup. I'm Canis, and these guys are Ryan, Rocker, and Misc. I assume you're Iap?"
The girl nodded, then look a her clothes, "Some pervert decide to play dress up with us?" She gestured to her pink shirt and jeans, "Ugh, why'd they decide to give me pink?!"
"Same reason they gave me yellow," Rocker regarded his yellow jacket with a degree of disgust.
Ryan paced around for a bit, "Well, at least now we're all awake. Maybe we'll all be able to-" He leaned against a wall, and it glowed a luminescent green color and disappeared, revealing a white expanse. He stood in shock, "I have NO idea how that happened."
Canis looked at him, then began touching the other three walls, provoking no response. He tried the floor, no response. Finally, he ventured the ceiling, which in turn burst into the odd black light and revealed white expanse beyond them.
The other three repeated the measure, Misc's wall breaking up in a flash of blue, Rocker's a flash of yellow, and Iap's a flash of pink. After only the floor was left, it began glowing red with a dying light, like a flashlight on its last legs, and the white expanse swirled and transformed into a high tech chamber, with a strange white glass globe on one end and a long tube on the other. There were tons of switchboards and meters on the boards, all for a function that could have been anyone's guess. Ryan went over to take a closer look at one of the terminals.
"Spirits and sorcerers! Don't touch those!" from another section of the chamber came, of all things, a robot. It looked rather humanoid, aside from the emerald plating, the visible circuitry, the head shaped like a flying saucer, with sensor lights pacing back and forth.
"Hells bells!" Ryan flew backwards, landed on his ass, and scooted backwards.
"What the hell are you?" Canis stepped forward in wonderment.
"My name is Kyle, well technically Kyle-5 considering this is the fifth robot body I've been in since my real body's death. Anyway, those controls measure magical energies. It's really important that they don't break."
Ryan got up and nodded slowly, "Are you the one that brought us here?"
Kyle shook his head, "No, I'm merely a servant to-"
"To me," a voice interrupted, and all five turned their heads to look at the tube, for appearing in it, in a grainy picture, was what appeared to be a human head. It wore a helmet, like a Middle Age knight, with what appeared to be a bull's horns protruding where the ears should be. Worst of all was that the face was completely shadowed, as black as pitch, aside from the glowing fire red eyes like coals embers, complete with red smoke coming from them.
For a while, none of those present said anything. Then one broke the silence.
"Cool!" Misc said.
The being chuckled, "I think I'm going to like you. As you may have guessed, I am the one who called you here. The stones were a method of determining whether or not you possessed the abilities that I require."
Ryan tentatively raised his hand, "Uh, pardon my rudeness, but who are you and will whatever you called us here for cost us our souls?"
The being seemed to raise one eyebrow despite having no visible eyebrows, "Second question: No. First question: I am a wizard known as Lord Archive. I was big time back a couple of millennia. Long story short, I was facing this witch and I managed to imprison her, but she trapped me in this time warp dimension. I'm immortal, never aging, but I can't interact with this dimension at all except through this display."
"Are you even human? What's with the horns and no discernible face?" Ryan asked
"I am a human, by biological standards. For my face, this is a form I was forced to take after a nasty run in with a few spell components. Looking upon my true face would cause your eyes to explode and various components of your brain to liquefy. And these aren't horns. They're dragon fangs. Killed the dragon myself," Lord Archive smiled, showing gleaming silver sharp teeth.
"And the eyes?" Ryan asked, hoping he wasn't pushing his luck.
Archive seemed to shrug, "Once I realized I had a look going I just went for it."
Canis shoved Ryan to the back, "As fascinating as this is, I would like an explanation as to why we are here."
Archive grinned and nodded, "Of course. The witch that zapped me in here? Well, she and her cronies are free again, and they're up to no good. I called you here to warn you."
Rocker raised an eyebrow, "You put a lot of effort into this if it was just to warn us."
Archive nodded, "I am a being of great power, but even my power has its limits. Back when I was in my prime, I discovered a way to allow ordinary non-magical humans to become warriors of great power, to call upon spirits inside of them to battle those who would enslave them, allow them to become guardians. Wardens. Rangers."
The group took this in, with varying reactions. Misc rose an eyebrow and held a bemused smirk. Ryan's eyes shone a bit with anticipation. Canis stroked his chin. Rocker leaned back against a terminal, showing no outward reaction. Iapetus chose to vocalize her views.
"That is corny beyond belief."
The group chuckled a bit, Archive included, and Archive spoke again, "Indeed. I was a bit idealistic in those days. Nevertheless, it was effective. I chose six young people to become my Rangers and fight the witch. After the battle that imprisoned me, the power of one of the Rangers was lost to me, but I kept the powers of the remaining five. This day, I have chosen you to become my Rangers and protect your world."
The five humans looked at each other.
"Us?" Canis asked, "You chose US to be superheroes?"
"I have read your online works and studied your chats. You five are resourceful, open-minded, suitable candidates for my purposes. I chose my original Rangers by reading their diaries, the thoughts that they reveal when they fear no retribution. You five meet the same criteria they did, and as such, you shall become the second generation of DiaRangers!"
At that proclamation, some snickers were present.
"I can IMAGINE the awful diarrhea puns we'd have to hear for this."
Archive fumed, "You DARE poke fun?! I chose the five of you out of all the living humans on Earth and you dare mock this privilege?"
Rocker chuckled, "Apologies, but it IS a humorous name. Plus. I mean, you're the floating disembodied demon head, but this seems really tough to believe."
Archive seemed to smirk, "Well, then, take a look behind you."
The five did so, to find that the globe opposite the display tube was playing a scene, on the moon, three misshapen creatures building a palace on the moon in under five minutes.
"These are the creatures that threaten your future: The witch known as Merry Mei Mo'Malley and her two stooges Reff Rimoy and Tob Tulcholz. The three of them are rebuilding their old headquarters by editing the timestream," he let the five watch these creatures and the power they possessed, "Do you still disbelieve?"
There was an uncomfortable silence.
Archive sighed, "Then you leave me with no choice. I cannot, however, let you go away unprotected," In a flash of light, five belt buckles appeared in each person's hand, "They will respond to your spirits. If you accept their power, they with allow you to morph into a DiaRanger. Otherwise. I have nothing more for you. Leave if you wish."
Canis asked, "How DO we leave."
Archive grinned, and a door slid open, "Don't let it hit you on the way out."
Canis boggled, "What about that painful yet efficient flash of light?"
Archive shook his head, "I never said I had to be nice."
The five kids left, completely unceremoniously.
Kyle-5 shook his head, "By the six powers, this was a disaster."
Archive shook his head, "No Kyle, we still have time yet."
Kyle boggled, "But they rejected your offer."
Archive smiled, "They'll come around once they realize the severity of the situation. And if not," Archive sighed, "Then they would have made poor Rangers anyway."
Meanwhile, the fivesome found themselves stranded in the middle of an unrecognizable desert.
Canis's eyes bugged out, "Maybe we should've given the floating head the benefit of the doubt."
******
"So...."
Reff Rimoy and Tob Tulcholz looked at each other as the witch, Merry Mei Mo'Malley who stood up from peering at her computer screen. "Archive has chosen the five for his DiaRangers. No, this won't do. This won't do at all. I cannot correct reality if they are in my way. Reff!"
"Yes, my queen?" Reff Rimoy was a tall misshapen man with a shadowy clock barely covering a multi-colored pastel suit. He also carried a sword that looked like a giant heart on one end with a blade stuck to it.
"Accompany a group of Dubbies," Merry Mei said, sitting down on her large throne. "Archive's naughtiness will not go unpunished. Oh, no it won't." Her smile turned sickeningly cute.
Around the throne room, several creatures in bright cheerful colors appeared. They were hunched over slightly, with stone faces colored in rainbows, as with the rest of their bodies in uniform stripes of green, yellow, pink and blue. The giggled happily as they awaited the command.
"Now go!" Merry Mei commanded.
*******
"Where the hell are we?" Canis griped loudly into the desert.
"I'd say butt fucking egypt," replied Misc, folding his arms.
"It's hot," remarked Rocker.
"No shit," replied Iapetus. "So, where to, oh mighty Naturalist?"
Ryan scowled as he looked around the area. It was nothing but badlands and desert for a good while. Scrambling up to the top of a formation that looked sturdy enough, he peered out. "We're near mountians, but that looks like a good walk. I'd say head towards the forest just way over that-a-way."
There was general grumblings but they returned to the slow heat driven plodding towards the forest in the distance.
Suddenly, the air was rent with the skrrzzch of teleportation as creatures flashed into existance around them. Leading them was the golden warrior, Reff Rimoy who shouted, "Go! Make them hurt!"
The Dubbies gurgled and giggled before launching themselves at the five.
Canis ducked the first strike and delivered a powerful kick into the stomach of the on rushing Dubbie.
"What the hell are these things?!" He cried, getting manhandled as he was propelled sideways by a fierce kick.
"I have no idea!" shouted Misc as he swung one over his shoulder and stomped down on it. It didn't get up but two more arrived in its' wake.
Iapetus ducked, weaved and tried to get out of the way. "They look like Putties, from the Power Rangers TV show!"
"Just great," grumbled Ryan as he backed up, nearly bowling Rocker over. "Are we getting anywhere with this?" He punched and kicked, but winced at the toughness of the Dubbie armor.
"Not really." Rocker ducked, grabbed a rock and slammed it over the head of the nearby Dubbie. The foot soldier went down like a sack of potatoes. "They're kinda vulnerable to head shots."
Canis rammed two into the wall of a rock formation but was shoved into the wall and his head was repeatedly banged against it. Bracing himself against the wall, he pushed outwards, shoving the Dubbie who had a hold onto his head into solid rock. It whimpered and burst into sparkles. "Hit them hard! They'll break apart! WHOA!" Two more tried to use his head as a battering ram and he weaved out of their paths.
"Easier said than done, Canis!" shouted Ryan.
********
"Aw, shit! They're getting mangled out there, Archive!" Kyle-5 announced.
"I see," said Archive, his eyes narrowing. "Let us hope, they will allow the Power to become one with them. Otherwise all is lost."
******
Misc joined the others backed against the wall as he puffed tiredly. "Any bright ideas?" he asked Canis who was gasping beside him.
"I can think of one," said Canis, grabbing the Morpher from his belt.
Ryan looked skeptical but the onrush of Dubbies who decided to draw weapons out of subspace made his decision. He reached for his morpher and the words came instinctively.
"POWER OF HENTAI!"
"DiaRanger Pink! Power of the Rabbit!" Iapetus was clothed in an almost solid pink spandex outfit with white highlights around the boots, chest and her helmet was styled like a rabbit, including bunny ears. She also had a skirt on her outfit.
"DiaRanger Yellow! Power of the Wyvern!" Likewise, Rockers outfit was solid, but in yellow spandex with the similar white highlights and his helmet was styled like a drake.
"DiaRanger Blue! Power of the Cthulhu!" Misc's outfit was a deep dark blue spandex with white on it. His helmet was styled like an unspeakable horror.
"DiaRanger Green! Power of the Jaguar!" A deep forest green was Ryan's spandex outfit and his helmet had a distinct Jaguar motif to it.
"DiaRanger Black! Power of the Wolf!" Canis outfit was a deep dark black spandex that seemed to suck up the light around him. His helmet was a bit fancier, and sported a wolf helmet.
"DiaRangers!" The five exclaimed, dropping into poses.
Reff Rimoy was not impressed. "Get them!"
"PenBlades!" Five pens were extended into blades and they ran into the battle, hacking and slashing.
Yellow and Pink fought back to back as they kicked and punched like a whirlwind. Many of the Dubbies exploded into sparkles with the power of the attacks. Iapetus' "Die die die die die!" chant was helping the Dubbies decision not to attack them.
Blue, Black and Green were taking on three fronts, at times getting into each others way but other times, helping each other as their attacks landed on the enemy. Black charged up his Animal Saber and did a spiral cut that slashed several into two pieces. Both halves exploded into brilliant sparkles.
"Jaguar Animal Rush!" Green Ranger called out, flashing into a speedy attack as he zoomed in and out of the attacking enemies. They froze and exploded into sparkles.
"Sonic Wolf Howl!" Black Rangers' Wolf ears on his helmet raised and he thrust out his hands in a claw strike. The amps howled to life and they ripped several to shreds.
"Cthulhu Tentacle Strike!" The shadows came to life under Blue Ranger and they pierced the chests of the oncoming attackers. They too exploded into sparkles.
"Wyvern Fire!" A stream of fire burst from Yellow Rangers' mouthpiece, alighting several on fire. Quick slashes later, and they collapsed and exploded.
"Bunny PUMMEL!" Giant weapons of mass destruction appeared around Iapetus as she grabbed the arsenal and locked on. "Later," she remarked, pulling the trigger.
In the silence of the explosion, Reff Rimoy wailed, "I'm BLIND! I'll get you next time, DiaRangers, and all those flashing spots before my eyes too!" He then vanished into a cloud of dust.
"That was cool!" Misc yelled as he detransformed.
"What?" shouted Rocker.
"It was really cool!" shouted Canis.
"What did you say?" shouted Ryan.
"We should get back to Archive's place!" Iapetus shouted, trying to be heard.
*******
"How could you be defeated by mere humans?" Exclaimed Merry Mei. She was quite upset with the loss of the day. "We can't be stopped! Not now!"
"My queen," said Tob. Tob was a creature in old work clothing. "It is a mere set back."
"Well see that it won't be just a mere setback next time!" Merry Mei drummed her nails on the armrest. "I can't have that world stay the same. It must be reshaped into something better! Something more.... fitting."
Evil laughter followed.
******
"You did well today DiaRangers, but there will be more challenges ahead." rumbled Archive.
"Hold on," said Canis, folding his arms. "There's more of those suckers out there?"
"Yes," said Archive. "Merry Mei has many Dubbies at her disposal. As well as Reff who is an excellent strategist and their monster maker, Tob. It will be a hard battle. Do you accept the conditions of the fight?"
"So we have to choose between these powers and a normal life?" Iapetus scowled. "Doesn't seem like a good choice right now."
"I'm in," said Ryan, startling all of them. "I think we need to stop this witch from destroying this world."
"Yeah, same here," said Rocker. "I guess saving the world can't be too bad, right?"
Misc smirked. "I'm in. I LIKE my power animal." The four chuckled and Archive's teeth were bared in a silver smirk.
"I guess I'm in as well," Canis said with a shrug. "Someone has to keep the others in line."
"And you think you can?" Iapetus jibed. "Aw well, I guess I'm in as well."
"Very well. I bestow upon you the official title of DiaRangers. You may want to keep your identities a secret and overusing your powers can't be too benificial." Archive seemed to shrug even with the absence of shoulders. "I put too many restrictions on my old team. It was amazing they didn't get squashed."
"Well, just as a reference," said Rocker, "my name is Eric. Eric Hibbs."
"Jon, as you know," said Misc.
"Ryan Griffin is my name, as far as I'm concerned," said Ryan, a smirk on his face.
"Canis Black," said Canis, folding his arms.
"Kim... Kim Gyorkos." said Iapetus reluctantly.
"Then it's settled. I will teleport you to the outskirts of The City of Fiction. I have a residence set up for all of you, and computer access as well. No sense letting those creative minds go to waste." Archive smirked. "You're relocating. This might sting a bit."
In a flash of light, five pillars of black, green, blue, yellow and pink flashed out of the Command Center.
*******
Authors' Notes:
Why 'Power of Hentai'
Hentai means to transform/change as well as pervert. The double meaning was used in Ranma 1/2 as why Akane kept calling Ranma a 'hentai.' Hentai also happens to be written with the kanji for 'strange' and 'brain.' (Yes, henshin means 'to transform' but so can the English word 'change' be used instead of transform. Two different words, similar meaning.)
DiaRangers is a Power Rangers parody story, written by Diaries Authors using Digimon Influences. In short, it's supposed to be silly, greatly over powered, and breaking about 100 Power Ranger rules in the process. Have fun reading.
Credit goes to Ryan Griffin and Shaun Garin for writing the story, Lord Archive for editing the story and the rest of the Diaries Crew who put their input into the story to make this all possible by building the foundations of the DiaRanger universe.