BULLY FOR GINYU

Another parody by Robster80

In memory of Charles "Chuck" M. Jones,

director of the Bugs Bunny short Bully For Bugs

which I am parodying

A Bullfighting arena in Mexico…

(A bullfight takes an unexpected turn as a large bull chases the frightened

matador. Suddenly, in the middle of the ring, the Avengers Elite:

Recoome, Burter, Guldo, Jeice, Black Tarantula, and Ginyu, appear from

underground. Each of them is holding two suitcases.)

Ginyu: Well, here we are!

Guldo (Looks around): Um boss? This doesn't look like the Baltimore Convention

Center to me.

Black Tarantula: Si, mi amigo. This is Mexican bullfight arena.

Ginyu: That can't be! Get the map!

(Recoome pulls out a map and hands it to Ginyu. They all look over it while

the matador still runs from the bull.)

Burter: I knew we should have turned left at Albercurque.

Jeice: Thank you, Bugs Bunny. (Notices the Matador) Hey, why don't we ask him for

directions?

Ginyu: Worth a try. Hey, bud-!

(The Matador just runs by. The Elite give chase, Ginyu still holding onto

the map. The Bull is some feet behind them, still chasing.)

Ginyu: Excuse me, pal, but could you direct us to the Baltimore Convention Center and

the Convention of the Otaku Generation 2003, or Otakon 2003, therein?

(The Matador just rusn to the one wall and quickly climbs over it. The

Elite stop and stare after him while the bull continues to charge at them.)

Burter: What, we got B.O. or something?

Recoome: Maybe we should get new faces that don't scare people?

(The Bull stops right behind the Elite, puffing out steam from its nose on

Guldo's head.)

Guldo: What the-? (Turns to smack the bull's face) STOP STEAMNG UP MY

HEAD!!! What d I look like, a crystal ball?

Recoome: Come on, little buddy. (Hoists Guldo onto his shoulder) We gotta plan our

new route.

(The bull dashes across the arena, then gets ready to charge. The Elite

are oblivious, as they are still studying the map.)

Ginyu: I figure we're not too far off, so we head back to Las Vegas and-.

(The bull suddenly flies down and butts the Elite into the air and out of the arena.)

Guldo: That damn bull again!

Jeice: What bull?

Recoome: The one that booted us outta that arena, you dope!

Ginyu: Of course you guys realize…

AE: This means war!

(Back at the arena, the bull is bowing to the cheering crowds until the large

doors for the matadors open and reveal the Elite, all in matador outfits and

sporting red capes. Jeice holds up a sign to the bull that says, "Yes, stupid,

we're back!" The bull charges as Black Tarantula steps forward and pulls

out his cape. Just as the bull hits the cape, it bounces backwards with its

head flat. BT pulls the cape away to reveal a large anvil behind it.)

BT: Ole!

(The crowd cheers again, tossing flowers. BT catches one and sniffs it.)

Ginyu: Not bad.

Guldo: Now it's my turn!

(Guldo storms up to the dazed bull and waves his cape at it. The bull follows

the cape before regaining his senses and charges at the cape. Guldo, from

atop a wall, pulls the cape away at the last minute before the bull rams his

horns through the wall and is stuck.)

Guldo: Ha ha ha! What a nim-cow-poop! He-he-he-!

(Suddenly, the bull stands up, minus his horns, and pounds Guldo flat as a

pancake.)

One minute later…

(The bull is using a grindstone to sharpen his horns when Recoome comes up

to it and taps its shoulder.)

Recoome: Excuse me, buster?

(Recoome waits for the bull to turn its head before he attaches a long rubber

band onto its horns and then pulls it back halfway across the field, and then

uses it to launch a boulder at it, hitting the bull right between the eyes.)

Recoome: Touche! (Starts bowing to the crowd) Thank you! Thank you!

Burter: Recoome, look out!

Recoome: Thank-! (Gets butted from behind by the bull right through the one wall)

Ow! (Sticks his head out of the hole his body made in the wall) Sore

loser, isn't he?

Ginyu: You're up Jeice!

Jeice (Puts on a large sombrero): On it, Cap! I got just the thing.

(Jeice starts dancing a Mexican jig towards the bull, only to get butted across the

ring and into Recoome.)

Recoome & Jeice: OOOF!!!

Jeice: I think he knows that trick.

Ginyu: You two okay?

Recoome: That bull's getting on my nerves.

(The bull goes back to sharpening his horns. Burter steps into the middle of the

ring, holding out a cape while holding a loaded rifle hidden behind the cape.)

Burter: Okay, Toro! Anytime you're ready.

Guldo: What's that for, Burter? (Points at the rifle)

Burter: A boobytrap-.

(The bull charges at Burter, but runs past him, swallowing the rifle by accident.

Its tail has taken the shape of the rifle.)

Burter (Facing the bull): HEY! That's a rental!

(The bull turns to charge again, lowering its tail. However, this causes the rifle to

go off and fires a bullet from one of the bull's horns. Confused, it's stops to look

at it's tail. It suddenly realizes what it can do now after firing off another shot,

this time for his other horn, and glances at the AE with a devious smirk.)

Recoome: Uh-oh!

BT: Caramba!

Burter: Oops.

Ginyu (Ducks a bullet): COMPANY, RETREAT!!!

(The AE start running around the ring while the bull chases them, shooting them

all the while. Suddenly, the bull runs out of bullets. This causes the AE to stop

in front of the barred double doors.)

Guldo: I think he's outta ammo.

Jeice: Not for long!

(Jeice points at a box of elephant bullets in the bull's hoof. The bull opens the

box and swallows all of the bullets before tossing the box at Burter. It raises his

tail to fire, but as soon as it lowers its tail, an explosion happens and the bull ends

up smoked with drooping horns.)

BT: What the-?!

Burter: According to the box, those bullets had explosive heads.

Jeice: Ha! That bull brought it on itself!

Recome: What a maroon!

Guldo: Um, guys?

(The bull charges at the AE once more, this time at top speed.)

BT: Now what?

Ginyu: Okay, men, on the count of "jump!"

(The AE crouch, while the bull draws nearer.)

Ginyu: Wait for it… JUMP!!!

(The AE jump at the last second, avoiding the bull as it smashes the door down

and charges through and out of the city before it comes to a screeching halt. The

AE land in front of the open doorway.)

Burter: It's a safe bet that it's really ticked at us.

Ginyu: Yeah, well this time, we'll fix his little red wagon but good! Folly me, boys!

(Ginyu and the rest of the AE grab some tools and construction supplies before

they start building their trap. Meanwhile, the bull, now furious, charges right

back for the ring.)

Jeice (Pouring axle grease on the completed plank): I think I hear it coming!

Ginyu: But this time, we're ready for him. Hurry up with that grease, Jeice, and then get

back!

(Jeice finishes greasing the plank and then hides with the rest of the AE just as the

bull comes charging into the ring, right onto the plank. The grease causes it to

slip up and into the air a few feet above the ground. It flies over a paintbrush,

which brushes fresh glue on its underbelly. Then, it flies over a small hook,

which is holding up a sheet of sandpaper that is caught by the glue. Next, it flies

over a match, which lights after being brushed against the sandpaper. The lit

match lights a fuse that is right next to the match. The fuse quickly burns up past

the bull and into a large canister of TNT just as the bull is over it, and it explodes.

Finally, the smoked, dazed bull collides into the wall of the ring as the crowds

cheer and throw flowers at the AE.)

Guldo: They love us! They really do!

Burter: So what? I want to get back on course for the BCC. We're way behind

schedule as it is now.

Recoome: I could go for a t-bone steak right now. How about you guys?

AE: Oh shut up!

Ginyu: Well, back to digging. Come on, men!

THE END