Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction / Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction ❯ Ginga GIRI GIRI! The Universe is in Danger! ❯ Six Pronged Attack! ( Chapter 23 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

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Ginga GIRI GIRI! The Universe is in Danger!
By SSJ Heero
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- OPENING SONG: LIBERTI FITALI -

Excitate vow e somno, liberi mei.
Cunae non sunt.
Excitate vow e somno, liberi fatali.
Somnus non eat.

Surgite.
Invenite hortum veritatis.

Ardente veritate
Urite mala mundi.
Ardente veritate
Incendite tenebras mundi.

Valete, liberi,
Diebus fatalibus.

---- Recap ----

[Chibi characters of the five appear in the foreground as scenes from the last episode play
in the background. Though, you can't see 'cause this is text. =P]

SSJ: Last time! ON GINGA GIRI GIRI!

Amiko: Zombies! From everywhere! Complete, utter madness!

Cindy: And in the middle of it all was Jill Valentine and Claire Redfield.

TM: We fight a Tyrant... I lose my reading material.

(TM sinks into the corner, depressed. DDT sweatdrops.)

DDT: Well, anyway, on with the show!

---- Chapter 23: Six Pronged Attack! ----

Outside the gates of Rantmon's floating castle, Sephiroth, with his Masamune in hand,
began to set off on his journey. Following close behind were Ultimecia, with revealing
outfit, and Kuja, with his thong covered up, thankfully. On a large shining golden chocobo
is Seymour, comb in hand to fix his beautiful hair, if need be. "You better not slow us
down, Guado," Sephiroth warned. "Rantmon won't be pleased when we fail catching the five
because of YOU."

Seymour simply replied, "The only thing I'm worried about is if this journey will ruin my
hair. Imagine what Yevon would think..."

Seymour played the scene in his head, with Sin smashing into buildings Godzilla style.
Sephiroth, Ultimecia, and Kuja sweatdropped. Ultimecia then returned to her previous
thoughts, "Despicable children. Us great Gods, fighting accursed children!"

"I know what you mean," said Kuja, "but then again, I'm a kid, too."

"Better being a kid than dead," Sephiroth added.

At that point, Kefka came out of the castle with Biggs and Wedge at his sides. He stepped
off of Rantmon's concrete walkways and onto the soft, sandy edge of Rantmon's floating
island. He sighed, and coughed, "There's SAND on my boots!" He fumed when Biggs and Wedge
didn't respond.

Quickly then, for they did not want to get burnt, frozen, or both, the two quickly cleaned
and polished the boot before returning to his side. Kefka then turned to Sephiroth, "So,
where to, comrade?"

"You should know, assclown. We're heading to the West. The 'Outlaws', as the government
puts it, have entered the Nibelheim Mountains."

"Sephiroth, you *DO* know that area, do you not?!" contemplated Ultimecia.

"Yes, I do. That... Was where I died..."

There was a silence. The wind blew and fluttered the five's clothes. Finally, Kefka broke
the silence, with a hammer, and then spoke, "Well! Let's be off killing some goddesses and
some espers!"

"If we don't stop to poison rivers and kill babies, we should reach them before Necron
does," Kuja sarcastically commented.

"Bah, where's the fun in that?"

"We're on a mission, not going to have fun. Death Guise, take us to them."

At that point, a giant black dragon came out of nowhere and spread its wings in front of
the evil seven. There was a shuffle of feet behind them, causing them to turn back. They
spotted a man with red clothing, and a clawed left arm. It was Vincent Valentine, sadly
forgotten in the FF chapter. "What do you want, Valentine?" Sephiroth coldly spoke.

"Rantmon tells me to go with you," Vincent answered.

Sephiroth sighed, and then the eight jumped on Death Guise. The beast flapped its wings and
soared away from Rantmon's palace, throwing sand everywhere.

"THERE'S SAND ON MY BOOTS, AGAIN!" Kefka yelled. Biggs and Wedge struggled to polish it
again as Death Guise sped toward the Northwest direction.

***

Mount Nibel was a cold and dreary place. Out of the ordinary slopes and cracks, a giant
plane from some mansion of nightmares, so it seemed, crashed into Mount Nibel, either by
accident or otherwise. It was completely empty. Past the creaky bridge, past the sloping
peaks of surrounding mountains, and past the narrow path into the Nibelheim reactor is
the corpse of a giant spider boss, or something. It was alone, abandoned, with blood
spilling from its wounds. A trail of blood followed from the mountain to the ground, and a
trail of footprints lead all the way to the Five, hiking but a few miles from a field of
crops.

Without saying a word, they approached the crops blocking their path. They saw a path
through crops, cut down by a sharp blade. There were plainly visible footprints in the
ground as the crew followed. "Dark steps heavily," SSJ noted from the deep footprints.

Amiko spoke, "He was in a hurry, ne?"

"I wonder, where was he going?"

The Crew stopped as the field of crops abruptly ended. In its wake, a large, ashy plain was
seen for miles and miles, winding through the land ahead. The Crew stared in wonder at the
mess, seeing the remains of several houses, burnt to their foundations. Nothing but piles
of charred wood and kicked up dirt was seen in the black plain. "What happened?!" TM loudly
asked.

"This is horrible," Cindy spoke as she clasped her hands over her open mouth.

DDT caught scent of the air, Devimon appeared again beside him. DDT took notice, "I
recognize that smell..."

The rest of the Crew turned to DDT. Devimon relayed DDT's thoughts, "It's the scent of
the... Dullahan."

"Dullahan?" Cindy uttered. "What's that?"

DDT answered, "Dullahan is a being of flames. In his right hand, he always holds his
Hellfire Sword..."

"Hellfire Sword?" Amiko interrupted.

"Yeah... There is not much more I can say. It constantly burns, never ending, and never
feeling pain. It's a pitiful being whose only pleasure is seeing people die a slow, burning
death. I hope we never have to run into it."

TM somberly walked up to the charred houses. He kicked away the many wood beams, and found
several blackened bodies. TM picked all he could find and lay them away from the
destruction. "Rantmon... Was he always this cruel?"

"No," DDT returned. "Something has changed inside of him during the past few years."

There was a silence as TM begins digging a hole in the ground with his hands. He looked back
to the other four, not including Devimon, who didn't move from their places. "Well?" TM
goaded. "Are you gonna help me?"

The four were silent. Cindy stepped up to TM, followed by Amiko. DDT and Devimon followed
close behind. SSJ stayed in place and looked around the area. He turned to gazing at the
sky. "What's Rantmon doing?! Is he so desperate to find Dark?!"

***

"So, how in the HELL did we get here?" Kefka asked from their vantage point.

The villains were seen stuck in a tree, wet with the morning dew, with Death Guise
struggling to fight its way out. "I forgot that Death Guise kind of never seen sunlight,"
Kuja explained.

The villains sighed up in the tree, hanging hundreds of feet above the ground. Seymour, with
one hand holding onto the branch, pulled out his comb and began combing his hair. "This is
all your fault, Kuja!" he yelled. "Look at what you did to my hair!"

Seymour brushed his hair clean of twigs as Ultimecia tried to prevent her cleavage from
being any more revealing, though her legs were at the perfect angle to Seymour. "Accursed
SeeDs!" she cursed, accenting the hard 'C' sound. "Accursed Square and their fanboys!
Accursed everything!"

And all the while, Sephiroth was busy keeping his Masamune from rusting in the damp leaves.
He sat on a branch, polishing his Masamune with a cloth. "Damn tree," said Sephiroth as he
continued wiping his blade.

"Need my help?" Vincent's voice was heard in the area.

The villains turned towards Vincent’s voice, and saw him standing on Neo Bahamut's head.
The villains thought about their predicament, and climbed onto Bahamut. Sephiroth was
indignant, but reluctantly got himself onto Bahamut. Their journey began Northward yet
again. Rantmon could only shake his head in shame from his throne.

***

At that moment, the crew stopped upon reaching the town of Narshe. Steam filled the air and
the sky was black as night settled on the sleepy town. The Crew of five sighed and stepped
into the town, instinctively heading towards the inn. In normal routine, TM paid for their
room, and quickly, its four beds were occupied by everyone but SSJ. SSJ sighed and lay
down on the floor, slowly dozing off the sleep.

And it would have been a good sleep, if not for a rapping on the window. SSJ rose from his
slumber, picked up his boot and tossed it at Eminem, who was rapping on the window. Eminem
was knocked out cold by the hard boot, and SSJ got a peaceful sleep.

The next day, SSJ woke up to the tune of Final Fantasy 8 music. He opened his eyes and
perceived Amiko, playing Final Fantasy 8 on TM's PS2. He then quickly jumped to his feet,
fetched his boots, and stomped to the bathroom. He came back fifteen minutes later to the
room, finding it completely empty, save him, Amiko, and the PS2. "So, where are the
others?" he inquired.

"Preparing for our journey again," she quickly replied.

"Ah..." A silence passed, and SSJ finally wondered something, "Wait a second, you brought
FF8 with you?!"

Amiko stopped and looked down on the controller, then at SSJ, then back the controller,
thinking hard. She turned back to the television, "Oh well, who cares."

SSJ sweatdropped as Amiko continued her battle with Seifer.

***

Once more, some strange events were taking place at Rantmon's Palace. The first would be
that the anime villains summoned to his council were currently amusing themselves with a
gigantic Counterstrike LAN party. Second would be that Rantmon was not attending the said
LAN party. Third would be that some giant villain from the days of old arrived on Rantmon's
island in the sky. The sea reflected the island, lost in the middle of the sky, as Rantmon
came to greet his guest, "Zemus, I suppose. This is quite surprising."

Zemus, clad in black, spoke with a tone of darkness, "Indeed, it is. Where are the rest?"

"If you mean your predecessors, X-Death, unfortunately, choked on a pretzel."

"What a joke."

Rantmon chuckled and continued, "Yes, it is. Anyway, Sephiroth and the rest have journeyed
to find the Five. Well, seven if you count their mascots."

"Meh. They'll be nothing once I'm done with them."

Rantmon's mouth curved into a smile. "So it shall be, then. They have headed North."

Zemus sighed, then stepped away, towards his mode of transportation, the Moon Stone.
Hundreds of Clefairy pokemon peeked their heads out of the window as Zemus stepped back
onto the stone. Rantmon sweatdropped as he caught sight of the things. He muttered, "Well,
those five might be a challenge. I hoped you haven't softened up from hanging with those...
things."

"Bah, they're only my snack." Zemus picked up one, and tossed it into a pot in the middle
of the "ship". The others dashed around the ship in fear. "I'll be off," Zemus said without
turning around.

"Do not fail when the others have."

"You underestimate me."

At that point, the hatch of the Moon Stone closed before any Clefairy managed to run away
for their lives. The ship flew away, with the rising sun on its right.

***

Off in that random town of no significance, the Crew gathered again on the outskirts. In
front of SSJ and Amiko was a pile of new armor and weapons to use, as any avid RPG player
buys whenever a new town is reached. There was shining ring mail armor for each SSJ, DDT,
and TM. Amiko asked TM, "Why not any for Cindy or I?"

"The damn game said it couldn't be equipped to you," he answered.

Amiko was silent. Finally, she bursted out, "Game?!"

Cindy calmed Amiko down and produced what TM bought for them. "But it's not a problem!
Instead, I've got us some robes!"

Cindy pulled up robes that would probably have looked cute on the two. Amiko pondered and
asked, "Robes would offer us any protection?"

"I know, stupid, ain't it?"

Amiko sighed, "I'd rather not wear it. It looks like it would stop short on 'protecting'
our legs."

Cindy looked down on the two robes, and found they stopped short of covering their legs. She
sighed, "Damn those people who made these robes."

DDT added, "Well, it could be better than nothing."

SSJ silently picked up his armor mail and slipped it on. It was light, and he felt no
heavier after donning the shining ring mail. DDT and TM did the same. SSJ spoke, "Well,
this certainly makes me feel safer."

"Yeah," TM agreed.

Amiko looked on the robe, and simply took it back to the shop to sell it. TM yelled in
anger when she came back with half the money. Cindy, on the other hand, slipped on the
light fabric over her shirt and jeans. She said, "It's not THAT bad..."

"I'd rather not wear it, as I said," Amiko stuck by her previous statement.

The Five then took a deep breath. "Okay, let's start again," said SSJ.

***

An hour or so later, the Crew emerged from a forest, known as the Dead Woods, and reached
the edge of the land. Sand suddenly emerged and covered up the brown dirt, and a high tide
swiftly ran in. Dark's footprints were still embedded in the dirt behind them, but the sand
between the Crew and the sea hid any more traces of Dark. "The trail just keeps going
straight," SSJ noted as he trailed off.

"Where did it go?" Amiko wondered.

And all the while, Cindy was looking about. TM and DDT were pondering the same as SSJ and
Amiko. Cindy suddenly heard a high pitched chirp, and twisted her head about in wonder.
"What was that?!" she yelled.

The four then turned away from the sea, and they noticed Cindy's expression. "What's up,
Cindy?" Amiko asked.

Cindy turned back to Amiko and pointed to the forest behind them. "I heard a chirp," she
answered.

Quickly, the two girls headed a little distance into the forest, following the sound. They
emerged again with a baby bird, plumed in blue, in hand. SSJ recognized the species and
yelled with surprise, "A chocobo?!"

"A sea one, too!" TM exclaimed.

The other three crowded around the chocobo, which looked about curiously at the five. Amiko
uttered with hands clasped together, "Aww... So kawaii..."

"It is!" Cindy agreed as she held the bird.

SSJ was silent, but then spoke, "Indeed."

"So, where's its mother?" DDT asked.

There was a silence. "Well, she wasn't there," Amiko replied. "It was like she abandoned
the baby."

TM interrupted, "Well, there are chocobo tracks that way..." TM pointed off to the North,
following the path of Dark, where the mainland was seen again past several islands. The sun
shone above the lands, East from their position.

"I wonder why Dark bothered passing the sea, Japan, and several islands, when he could have
just followed the coast," pondered SSJ. Maybe he was looking too deep into things; maybe he
was looking too deep into plot devices the author needed to have the previous chapters.
Anyway, he was interrupted by the chocobo's chirps.

"Kweh!" chirped the Chocobo. SSJ looked back at the chocobo, whose slick feathers Amiko was
busy patting and rubbing.

"I think I'll call him Tenpi!" Amiko spoke.

SSJ was silent but smiled to himself. DDT then pointed out something, "Hey! The tide is
lowering!"

As the sun rose higher in the sky to noon, a large sandbar emerged from the sea. It headed
towards the mainland, and seemed to connect the smaller islands with the continent. SSJ
proclaimed, "Well, let's go! We have not much time to cross a small sea."

DDT sarcastically spoke as they begin their trek again, "So, since when were you leader?"

"Oh, shut up."

So, with Tenpi in hand, Amiko followed SSJ as he sprinted ahead with TM and DDT. Cindy
looked back, thinking she saw a giant dragon in the sky some distance away. She shrugged it
off, and followed behind.

***

A blonde-haired male with the strangest clothes ever, especially shorts whose legs weren't
of even length, stepped out of a small hut. This was Tidus, as many fangirls reading this
fic would have instantly known, and behind him, Wakka followed out of the hut. Kimahri also
stepped out, eyes wide in surprise. Quite out of character, he yelled, "So, Yuna has been
doing WHAT?!"

Wakka explained, "She has taken to playing this video game called 'Final Fantasy Ex', ya."

Kimahri showed how out of character he was when he exclaimed, "ORO?! BUT, SHE'S A SUMMONER!
WE HAVEN'T EVEN COMPLETED OUT QUEST! LIFE IS NOT A GAME!"

"Y'know, Kimahri," replied Tidus. "I have to agree."

And quite randomly enough, a giant water beast emerged from the sea and coughed up a young
woman. She was clad in thin, green clothes that only a fanboy would love. The three jumped
back in surprise. The woman, Rydia of Final Fantasy IV, stood up, rubbing her butt in pain.
The water beast then disappeared as if it were but a summoned monster or worse yet, a plot
device. Rydia muttered, ignoring the random crossover, "Ack... Leviathan should make that
ride less painful."

Tidus snapped out of his surprise, and walked up to the young woman of twenty-something.
"So, where did you come from?"

"Oh?" Rydia replied as she noticed him. "I came from the Home of the Phantom King..." Rydia
trailed off as she noticed his shorts. "What's wrong with your shorts?"

Tidus facefaulted. He then muttered, "Well, it's just... Yeah. That's it."

At that point, Yuna was being dragged away from her Playstation 2 by Lulu and Rikku. Auron
followed close behind, sweatdropping as Yuna tried to resist. Lulu and Rikku quickly took
notice of the new girl. "Who is that girl?" Lulu asked.

Tidus sheepishly replied, unable to find an answer, "Well, she sorta just appeared."

"My name is Rydia," Rydia, of course, answered. "Leviathan coughed me up here."

"Uh, where from?" Rikku asked in her enthusiastic voice.

"Well, I was born in the Mist Village..."

Yuna interrupted, escaping from Lulu and Rikku's grasp and dashing away, only to be pushed
back by Auron. "LET ME GO!" she yelled. "I NEED TO DEFEAT SIN!"

Everyone sighed. Auron then scolded her, "We should defeat the REAL Sin, here."

Yuna stopped, and thought to herself. She then came to the realization of current problems
and clapped her hands together. "Oh yeah!" she recalled. "The world's being destroyed by
Sin!"

Everyone facefaulted. Kimahri slowly pieced together a sentence, "You... Forgot... Sin...?!"

And over in the other side of the island, Sin was weeping for the lack of attention.

***

Not much farther, the Crew dashed ahead, unhindered by fatigue or lack of strength. The
clean scene of the ocean filled them with a new energy. Even Amiko, while clutching the
cute Tenpi, was not fatigued. Cindy noted a change, "I never ran the mile this fast at
school!"

"I'm not even tired yet!" Amiko added. "What gives?"

SSJ answered, being the author and knowing everything and all, "I think we stepped into the
FF world again, as the rules of logic no longer apply."

"That sounds about right!" Cindy replied.

Finally, the crew reached the edge of the sandbar as the tide still was low. A few hours of
running had passed with nothing eventful happening, save for them all noticing Leviathan
rising from the ocean some time ago. They stepped onto another island, not fatigued at all
from the several hour dash. "Well, that helped," muttered DDT.

TM looked around the area. He asked, "So, where are we?"

The five looked around, and noticed a large port for ships down the beach. Amiko, with her
eagle-eye for spotting bishounen, instantly saw a familar face stepping on to the boat. She
yelled with uncontrollable glee as she realized who it was, "TIDUS!"

And unfortunately, her voice was not exactly unheard. Tidus quickly turned to see Amiko
dashing towards him, with the rest of the crew far behind. Tenpi was chasing after Amiko
with great speed. "WHAT THE?!" Tidus screamed with surprise.

And from afar, the rest of the crew could only sigh. "She's always like this," SSJ muttered.

"No kidding," said Cindy.

TM spoke, "Well, at least we're not like that..."

"Yeah," DDT finished. "Then we'd be just as sad."

And at that moment, Rikku, Yuna, and Rydia were visible. The SSJ and DDT's eyes turned to
hearts, as Amiko's eyes constantly did. "YUNA! RYDIA!" SSJ yelled, despite what was just
said.

"RIKKU!" DDT yelled.

The bishoujo stepped back in fear as the two approached. And now, Amiko leapt and glomped
Tidus with the speed of a Cactuar. Tenpi jumped on her shoulder. "Kweh!" he chirped again
as it caught her.

"Hey!" TM uttered with surprise. "Who the heck-"

"Are you?" Rydia finished.

"AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Yuna angrily yelled, again out of character.

Before SSJ and DDT could dash up to join Amiko in hugging their favorite character, Yuna
knocked Amiko out of the way, as the fic used to be like a long time ago. "GET AWAY FROM MY
TIDUS!" Yuna warned.

Amiko, indignant, replied with anger, shaking a fist at Yuna, "'YOUR' TIDUS?!"

Rydia, Lulu, and Rikku could only shake their head in embarrassment. The rest of the FF
crew sweatdropped, as well. "Get away from Tidus, or I'll have to deal with you..." And
from out of nowhere, Anima appeared behind Yuna. She then glared at Amiko, with hatred that
was never seen before. "You better stop!"

And in the background, Tidus was trying to keep peace. "Y-Yuna?!" Tidus stammered. "This is
a bit far!"

"Anima! Oblivion!" Yuna commanded, pointing at Amiko.

Anima then raised its hands into the air and powered up, and preparing to launch Amiko
into another dimension. Amiko countered, yelling, "KAMUI!"

Kamui appeared and quickly created a barrier around Amiko. They were then both sent into
another dimension, where Anima's other half quickly took the offensive. However, the attack
harmlessly bounced off. They returned to Besaid with no injuries whatsoever, surprising Yuna.

Amiko yelled, "Let's go!"

Kamui replied in agreement, "That's right, (future) wife!"

At that point, Amiko applied her makeup and transformed to Bat Shadow Lady, surprising the
FFX company. "So, the rumors are true!" Rikku exclaimed.

Lulu muttered, quite heretically, "I don't think even Yevon or SIN can stand up against...
THE AUTHOR'S FRIEND."

And they proved true, for quickly, Amiko performed her Deadly Nightshade limit break,
sending Yuna to the negative HP zone as Kamui quickly dispatched Anima. "Well! That was
simple!" Amiko proudly stated as she clapped her hands clean.

Then it was SSJ, sighing, as he knew his task. He spoke to Yuna, "Sorry Yuna, but I think
it's the only way." At that point, SSJ caught Yuna.

Tidus saw her disappear with red light and yelled, "HEY! WHERE'D SHE GO?!"

"Some place a lot better than near Amiko's pissed off state."

With a whip of her wings, Amiko sent SSJ into the sky with one strike. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"
she angrily yelled.

"BUT IT'S TRUE!" SSJ yelled back from midair.

And then, luckily before SSJ could crash into the sea, Neo Bahamut first crashed into him.
SSJ was launched into a tree, with Neo Bahamut following. It hit the tree with a sickening
crack, and SSJ screamed in pain, as always. Everyone was caught off guard as the five FF
villains dropped from the sky, for they skillfully leapt off of Neo Bahamut. And just as
suddenly as Neo Bahamut came, they landed on the ground, weapons drawn.

Sephiroth spoke, "It's about time we find you all."

Ultimecia began, "Accursed children! Curse the day kids like you challenge Rantmon!"

Every one of the FF people gasped. Tidus screamed, "RANTMON?!"

"NO! NOT HIM!" Rydia screamed.

Meanwhile, Kuja continued the entrance lines, "Yeah. I'm still wearing a thong." Everyone
shuddered.

"MY HAIR!" Seymour yelled. "MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!" Everyone facefaulted.

"THERE'S SAND ON MY BOOTS, AGAIN!" Kefka yelled. Everyone sweatdropped as Biggs and Wedge
emerged from the Neo Bahamut wreckage, and cleaned off Kefka's boot. And then, before
everyone realized what was happening, the villains chose their opponents. Sephiroth leapt
into the sky, and landed in front of Amiko, with Kamui standing beside her.

"I won't go easy because you're a girl," Sephiroth announced.

Cloud then appeared, threatening, "You won't get past me, Sephiroth!"

And Amiko could only respond by swooning. Tenpi was running all over the place, and
eventually into Amiko's arms.

At the same time, Ultimecia landed in front of TM. TM, paying CLOSE attention to
Ultimecia's... assets, quickly gained a nosebleed. Then, Kuja landed in front of Cindy, who
shuddered at the thought of fighting such a cross-dresser. And DDT was left with Seymour,
who was struggling to comb his beautiful hair.

"I guess I've got the one that's actually fun to look at," TM muttered with a smirk.

And at the moment, Kefka was busy sitting by the wreckage from which SSJ would emerge from,
whistling a tune as he read through an FF6 fan-manga of his.

***

Kuja then transformed to his trance form, showing off his awesome power. His strength
statistics extended to the millions, with his equally high magic skill emanating in a red
aura. "THIS IS POWER!" he screamed as a giant aura burst from him. "PREPARE TO DIE, GIRL!"

Cindy was silent. Cindy simply pulled out her gun, and shot Kuja once in the groin. TM,
DDT, Tenpi, Tidus, Wakka, Kimahri, Sephiroth, and Seymour shifted in their places as they
witnessed the horrible pain Kuja went through as he fainted in front of Cindy.

***

Quickly, DDT faced off against Seymour, who was busy combing his hair, as Rikku jumped
to his aide. "I might as well help someone who has good taste," she said.

And DDT could only grin. "Okay!" he proclaimed. "Let's go!"

DDT dashed at Seymour and pulled off his basic flaming uppercut attack, sending Seymour
into the sky and knocking the comb out of his hand. Rikku helped by tossing a grenade at the
airborne Seymour, who dropped into the sea with little difficulty.

"No easier opponent than that," DDT muttered. But as he spoke, Seymour emerged from the
water, pissed as Sin and Yu Yevon.

"Damn!" bursted Rikku.

Seymour looked at the locks covering his eyes. He brushed them aside, clearly distraught.
"You... Ruined... My hair..."

Then, from out of nowhere, Seymour's golden chocobo appeared, and his comb grew into a
Comb-Blade. DDT's eyes grew wide with amazement and his jaw was wide open. He yelled, "WHAT
IN THE HELL?!"

Seymour jumped on the chocobo, and raced towards DDT and Rikku, with the Comb-Blade raised
in the air. However, as quickly as the chocobo came, Rikku snatched the Comb-Blade from
Seymour's hand. "Let me take that!" she said.

Seymour swore, "DAMN GIRL!"

Seymour flew past Rikku and DDT. DDT, taking the opportunity, leapt onto Seymour's
chocobo and threw him off. And for good measure, DDT steered the chocobo over Seymour, who
was struggling to get up. He returned and repeated the process several times. By the time he
was finished, Seymour was covered in cuts and bruises and imprinted in the sand. "A VICTORY
FOR THE INSECTICIDES!" DDT proclaimed with pride, remembering SSJ's insult just last
chapter.

***

And at the current moment, Yuna appeared, fully healed, and Rydia rushed to SSJ's aide.
Yuna to heal the boy, who had obviously taken much damage, and Rydia to dispel the summon.
Neo Bahamut quickly dissolved, and SSJ rose to his feet, feeling better than he did several
minutes ago. He caught a glimpse of his two saviors, was seized with joy.

And it was just then that Kefka decided to launch a giant meteor at SSJ. SSJ flew through
the sky and landed in the city of Besaid. Yuna glared up at Kefka, "HEY!"

Rydia looked up with surprise, "WHO THE?!"

Kefka, hands raised as he floats in the air, launcheed blast after blast into the city,
destroying homes, and causing major collateral damage. He laughed as he screamed into the
sky, "THIS FEELS BETTER THAN GRAND THEFT AUTO 3 OR POISONING RIVERS!"

And blast after blast, SSJ dodged, until he finally was cornered with a wall behind him. He
glared up at Kefka and yelled, "Asshole!"

"DAMN RIGHT! DIE!"

Kefka launched a blast at SSJ, whose glare widened as he yelled, "FREAKING! AERIS!"

Aeris appeared with the largest glare on her face around, and used her limit break, Great
Gospel. The blast simply did nothing as it rebounded off of the two. She pulsed with anger
as she said, "Don't... You dare... Hurt... SSJ."

Aeris then leapt at Kefka, and, following Cindy's example, swung her staff upwards. It
swung swiftly through the sky, and hit him right in the crotch. Biggs and Wedge, overcome
with fear, dashed away from the battle and towards neighboring islands. Kefka could only
breathe in short gasps as he fell to the ground at the expense of the temple.

***

Wakka screamed as dust and smoke flew into the sky, "NO! NOT THE TEMPLE!"

Wakka wept, and Amiko groaned that she was not there by his side. She thought aloud, "I've
got to end this faster than with my bishounen! ...BUT SEPHIROTH'S SO CUTE!"

Everyone, again, facefaulted. Amiko then settled her mind, "Okay then, time for the
ultimate CHIBI STORM!"

Rapidly after hearing the attack name, the rest of the crew dashed out, with TM carrying
Lulu as he dashed away, and DDT holding Rikku's hand as he dashed in another direction.

Amiko, with a POOF and smoke, disappeared, and in her place was a chibi version of herself.
"HAH!" she said as she started running.

Then with the speed of a Cactuar, again, she rammed into Sephiroth many, many times.
Sephiroth flew into the sky, and kept him aloft as he was launched again with each
successive hit. And as an afterthought, Amiko finished by head butting Sephiroth's gut,
sending him into Cloud, who gladly used the flat side of his sword as a bat. Sephiroth was
smacked back away and was launched into the sea. After a moment of rest, Amiko pulled out a
bishie-ball. Cloud noticed and muttered, "Don't tell me you're gonna catch him!"

Amiko was silent. Then she replied, "Okay then, I won't tell."

Amiko hurled the ball into the sea, and it quickly returned, with Sephiroth inside. Cloud
sighed.

***

And finally, TM faced off against Ultimecia, with Lulu by his side. Ultimecia blocked his
path as Amiko was doing her limit, and now, TM prepared for battle. "Come on! Let's go!" he
yelled.

Lulu yelled, "How about a shocking end?!" With that, a giant bolt of lightning came down
and struck Ultimecia. She froze, allowing TM to attack.

TM dashed towards Ultimecia and drew Hiko's Sword. With a fury of slashes, ending with the
Kuzu Ryuu Sen, TM only knocked off a fraction of her health. He skidded along the sand and
turned to face Ultimecia, who glared at him. He swore, "Aw, to Hell with drama."

TM then did the easiest technique he knew: Steal. Within a few seconds flat, Ultimecia
stood, bare-naked on the beach, TM with her clothes in his hand. "WHAT THE?!" she yelled as
she struggled to cover herself. She didn't even noticed that he had moved!

TM explained, "Steal used in the most vulgar way possible. A first, and probably last, ever
technique: FAN RUSH."

And then, a clamor of feet rose in the background. Everyone turned to see a racing herd of
aroused fanboys appeared, dashing towards a rose-colored Ultimecia. Quickly, Ultimecia was
overtaken by the group of girlfriend-starved fanboys, and before long, a white flag was
raised into the sky. Cindy meekly pointed out, "Well, it's a victory for TM."

Amiko added, "If not a perverted one."

The screen turned black, and TM's status screen appeared. A box popped up, reading "New
Limit Learned! Fan Rush!"

***

The villains, excluding Sephiroth, of course, were gathered in one pile. Ultimecia
struggled to cover herself, and Kuja was still in the worst pain ever. Kefka was unconscious
from Aeris' surprisingly powerful attack, and Seymour was crying over his ruined hair. One
long sigh came from them, "Oro..."

"Well, that was simple!" said Tidus.

Amiko put an arm around Tidus' own. "How about joining me?" she offered.

"Well," he answered, "anyone against Rantmon, I should join."

Amiko then turned to Wakka and Auron, who did mostly nothing yet. "You two, as well!" she
added.

Wakka didn't even need to think. "Well... I guess we have no choice."

Auron nodded. "I'd rather die again than go through one of her attacks..."

Amiko smiled. "Then it's settled! We're gonna go!"

And then, as if the Entity of Randomness was working over time, a gigantic meteor crashed
into the Besaid Temple, sending blocks of stone into the sky. Wakka wept once more for the
temple, and Yuna was screaming, "NO! MY PLAYSTATION 2!"

And before everyone could facefault, Zemus raced from the disaster, sword in hand, towards
the group. The bunch of Clefairy took the time to escape, finally being free. SSJ was
taken aback by the familiar last boss. "Zemus?!" he yelled in surprise.

Everyone looked at SSJ. Amiko asked, "Who?"

"FFIV last boss."

Rydia grabbed her head and yelled, "NOT HIM!"

And at the moment, Zemus raced past, for everyone dodged out of the way. He stopped his
attack, and stood up, tall and proud. His black cape shone in the sun, and his weird
helmet reflected hatred. He announced, "Rantmon’s final minion has come: Zemus of the
Lunarians."

SSJ was silent, but then spoke, "I think I'll be facing him, since I'm the only one who
knows him."

Rydia interrupted, "I'll be taking him down, as well!"

SSJ threw off his cloak, in cool anime fashion, causing Yuna and Rydia to swoon. TM noticed
and muttered, "So, you're learning."

SSJ grinned, "I guess so." Amiko and Cindy were sighing in embarrassment in the background.
"Well, no matter," SSJ said as he took a step forward.

The lunarian laughed, "Hah. So, it'll be you, first?"

"Indeed."

"Very well, then!"

Zemus clenched his sword, and raced again towards SSJ. SSJ, returning the speed, raced
towards Zemus. And it was then SSJ finally remembered something, just in time to jump back
and dodge Zemus' blade. "DAMN IT! I'M UNARMED!" he screamed.

Everyone sweatdropped. Rydia and Yuna sighed. SSJ continued dodging every slash of Zemus
before finally approaching the rest of the crew. TM outstretched a hand and yelled, "SSJ!
Tag out!"

SSJ, not thinking clearly, simply ducked under another slash, and tagged TM's hand. Then,
from out of nowhere, TM grabbed a steel chair and gave Zemus one good knock with it. Zemus
yelled in pain, and fell to the ground. SSJ and TM then commended each other, slapping hands.

"Brilliant plan!" commended SSJ.

TM commented, "Great timing!"

And still, Zemus roared, "I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED!"

Zemus rose from the ground, and ripped out of his body, revealing a grotesque being with
many mouths and many eyes. Veins were clearly visible under its thick, gray skin. Blood was
everywhere as it rose a full twenty feet into the air. This was Zeromus, the true form of
Zemus. "I AM HATRED!" its screams spread through the area. "I *AM* EVIL ITSELF!"

SSJ froze and looked up at the thing. "FREAKING-"

TM swore with a very profane word, one even the author is ashamed of thinking of. Zeromus
lunged at the two, stuck in place.

And then, suddenly, a fury of blasts engulfed Zeromus. It yelled in pain; a shrill cry that
pained everyone's ears filled the air. And finally, it tore apart into many pieces, leaving
only a shadow on the sand. "Nan da?!" Amiko yelled.
[Subtitles: WHAT THE?!]

"What happened?!" Cindy wondered.

SSJ and TM sighed and turned about, and immediately saw what happened. Amiko and the rest
turned around as well to see three Bahamuts in the air. One was Rydia's Bahamut, and next
to that, was Cloud's Bahamut Zero, and next to that, was Neo Bahamut. On Neo Bahamut's
head was a certain Valentine. Amiko dreamily yelled, "VINCENT!"

"Yeah," Vincent replied. "Those villains were getting mighty annoying."

Cloud explained, "I told him everything that happened as SSJ and TM there were having fun
with that Zemus guy."

Amiko, with hearts in her eyes, stammered, "WILL YOU BE COMING ALONG, VINCENT?!"

Vincent smiled, and nodsded. Amiko was filled with glee.

***

MEANWHILE! IN RANTMON'S PALACE!

Rantmon gritted his teeth and muttered, "I have a feeling that those seven have lost."

Dillandau asked, "What will you do now?"

"I guess I'll have to deal with it for now, until something good happens."

"But... THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! You've only got a knife, no money, and all seven of your fellow
CT's are dead!"

And in Rantmon's palace, Rantmon finally joined in his LAN party. His team on Counterstrike
just lost, and Rantmon was struggling to win on his own. He muttered aloud, "I'll just need
one thing to clinch the victory..."

Dillandau then remembered something about earlier that morning. He asked, "Hey, what about
those seven you sent earlier?"

"You mean those FF ones?" Dillandau nodded. "I don't think we need to worry about that,"
Rantmon answered.

And just then, Rantmon got knifed in the game. He cursed and slammed his fists on his
keyboard. The Maze brothers were laughing as they realized they killed Rantmon. Ma proudly
spoke, "I must admit, brother Ze, that our victory was an easy gain."

"Brother Ma, with such a win, Rantmon can deal with some rain," Ze rhymed.

Then they turned to Rantmon, and their glee disappeared. "I SAY, WE SHOULD RUN AWAY NOW AND
WATCH SOME LAIN!" they both yelled in unison.

"I say," Rantmon began with anger. "You two shall go deal with those kids, or you two shall
feel some pain."

Another attendee stands, revealing himself to be Malik, and beside him stood Bakura.
"Rantmon!" yelled Malik. "You lost, there's no need to be vain!"

Bakura agreed, "Yes, it's all but a game, you need not show your bane."

Rantmon glared at Marik and Bakura, clearly showing his unsportsmanship. "You two shall
join, then. I don't need to make myself any more plain."

The two were taken aback, and then sighed, leaving the LAN party to prepare for their quest.
The Maze brothers followed. "You think that was a bit harsh?" meekly asked Dillandau.

"Nah, they won't need to go if those seven come back tonight."

***

The Crew prepared to leave Besaid Isles the next day. SSJ stood at the edge of the docks,
with Yuna and Rydia nearby. Behind them were Amiko, with Auron, Wakka, and Tidus all nearby.
In her arms, Tenpi constantly chirped and looked about the many faces. Cindy was only
accompanied by Sano. Saitou and Aoshi were currently busying themselves with the fine art of
origami within Cindy's waiting room. TM stood with Lulu standing beside him, defeated by
his charm and skill. She quickly joined the ranks of his bishoujo. Now, DDT and Rikku
entered, sitting on the Seymour's golden chocobo. Rikku gladly joined his ranks. DDT then
asked, "So! Where to!"

"Well," Yuna answered, "we have seen a boy by your description heading East on a sea
chocobo."

"Yes, we did," Rikku added. "He tamed it well."

"We will go by boat," Lulu finally finished. "Other temples inform me that he has taken
refuge within a certain dormitory."

"Of what kind?" asked Amiko. Certainly, just "a certain dormitory" couldn't help much.
Amiko then mustered a Green herb, and fed Tenpi. It ate it vigorously, and Amiko smiled.

She then heard Wakka reply, "I believe it was some school for the gifted."

Something struck a nerve in SSJ and he interrupted, "THE XAVIER INSTITUTE?"

Tidus, however, calmly replied, "No, not that, the one next door. That'd be Hogwart’s."

SSJ was silent, but looked at Amiko. She was silent. Finally, her emotions took hold and
she yelled, "WELL, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?! LET'S GO!"

Everyone sighed, and jumped onto the boat. It left port, gathering all of its restraints
and heading Eastwards. The sun set as the ship moved into the background.

---- To Be Continued ----

- ENDING SONG: SUTEKI DA NE -

Kaze ga Yose ta Kotoba ni
Oyoi da Kokoro
Kumo ga Hakobu Ashita ni
Hazu n da Koe

Tsuki ga Yureru Kagami ni
Furue ta Kokoro
Hoshi ga Nagare Kobore ta
Yawarakai Namida

Suteki da ne
Futari te wo tori Aruke ta nara
Iki tai yo
KIMI no machi Ie Ude no naka

Sono mune
Karada azuke
Yoi ni magire
Yumemiru

Kaze wa Tomani Kotoba wa
Yasashii Maboroshi
Kumo wa Yabure Ashita wa
Tooku no Koe

Tsuki ga Nijimu Kagami wo
Nagare ta Kokoro
Hoshi ga Yurete Kobore ta
Kaku se nai Namida

Suteki da ne
Futari te wo tori Aruke ta nara
Iki tai yo
KIMI no machi Ie Ude no naka

Sono Kao
Sotto furete
Asa ni tokeru
Yumemiru

---- Preview ----

[Japanese Yu-Gi-Oh! Preview music plays in background. The five appear as chibi style, and
random scenes from the next episode play, though you can't see because this is text. =P]

SSJ: NEXT TIME! ON GINGA GIRI GIRI!

Amiko: Madness and mayhem in the Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!

Cindy: Wackiness is abound as we search for Dark in the abyss of Hogwart's!

TM: What's this? A new alliance formed between darkness and... darkness...

DDT: That was so surprising. Really. It was.

All: Next! ON GINGA GIRI GIRI! "The Ritual in Darkness"!

Wakka: Read and review it, ya?!

----