Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction / Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction ❯ Ginga GIRI GIRI! The Universe is in Danger! ❯ The War of the Spatula ( Chapter 56 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

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Ginga GIRI GIRI! The Universe is in Danger!
By SSJ Heero (http://animenext.knorf.net)
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- OPENING SONG: That song that always plays at the beginning of Lord of the Rings -

---- Recap ----

[Chibi characters of the six appear in the foreground as scenes from the last episode play
in the background. Though, you can't see 'cause this is text. Haha!]

SSJ: LAST TIME! On GINGA GIRI GIRI!

Amiko: Cindy and company makes it to Rivendell and are named the Fellowship of the Spatula.

Kensou: Meanwhile, SSJ saves Faramir from Sauron's psychic powers.

TM: The Fellowship dashes through Moria and handles orcs and the Balrog and escape to
Lothlorien.

Davis: And I handle the Battle of Helm's Deep and SSJ, Momo, and I take out Nazgul.

Cindy: And my party meets up with Amiko, and now, on with the show!

---- Chapter 56: The War of the Spatula ----

Leaves fell from the branches of the trees in Lothlorien, forming a small layer between the
air and the dirt. Feet trampled through it, heading deep into the forest towards a
brilliant city that lit the forest in a pale blue light. Giant, brilliantly made towers
jutted from the earth, where much activity awaited the new arrivals. A small troupe of
elves and humans made their way towards the largest one, home of Celeborn and Galadriel.

All around, elves moved through the city, preparing for a giant feast that awaited the
arrivals. They moved with cake and wafers and water and whatever they had to bring to the
feast in the center of the town. The Cindy and the rest stepped to the very foot of the
large tower of Celeborn. They nodded at each other, and Cindy, TM, and Amiko stepped
forward as the others waited.

So they walked up to the highest part of the tower. They past branches and trees and the
ground slowly pulled away from them as they walked up the spiraling steps to the tower.
They reached the top, and there they stood before Galadriel and Celeborn, who were finely
clad in the richest clothes. TM looked about the room, searching for a hidden safe of money
that all rich people no doubt have in cartoons. He ignored Galadriel, who asked, "What is
your quest, children?"

Cindy stepped up and took the chain off her neck, revealing the golden Spatula. Amiko was
taken aback at the sight. "What... The Heck is that?!" she asked.

Cindy glanced at Amiko, and then at the floor as she explained, "It is the One Spatula, the
cornerstone in Sauron's plan." Amiko sweatdropped at that realization. They all stood there
as Cindy further explained the recent happenings- the trip from Hobbiton, the meeting with
the Nazgul and the Crazy 88, and the burden finally weighing upon her.

Amiko looked at Cindy as she told her story, quite amazed at her friend's new vigilance and
strength. She was stronger now- she had grown during her trip. Amiko looked away and her
gaze turned down to the ground. Cindy was getting stronger and stronger, much different
then years ago...

"And that's what happened," Cindy said as she finished explaining. She breathed a sigh of
relief, and then was about to put the Spatula around her neck again, had not Galadriel
suddenly stopped her.

"Wait," said Galadriel. Cindy paused, holding the Spatula before her. "We might need that
for the feast, so please... Would you lend it to us?"

Cindy paused. She thought, 'Well, she doesn't mean harm...' And she wanted to give it to
Galadriel. But, she couldn't move her arms. No matter what, she couldn't push her arms
forward and let Galadriel take it. She struggled with herself, but couldn't give it up. The
burden was eating her up. She knew it. Finally, she settled and put the chain around her
neck, disappointing Galadriel. "Sorry," she apologized, "But I'd rather keep it safe
myself." Galadriel frowned at that.

Celeborn then cut in, "Okay, let us not waste our days here. Let us go down and feast!" TM
cheered at that and made his way out, leaving Amiko and Cindy there with the two elves.
Amiko and Cindy then just followed TM out the building and down the center of the city,
where food and drink aplenty lay upon tables. The feast they had turned out to be the best
one they had in a great while.

***

The roar of two engines called throughout the darkening lands. The winds screamed and the
grass billowed under its strength. SSJ and Davis rode to Mordor upon their really cool
motorcycles. They revved their engines and sped up to Mordor, the Rohirrim following behind.

"This is it!" yelled SSJ. Momo gripped onto him as he stood upon the pedals of his
motorcycle. He saw it, as did Davis; their eyes were protected by goggles as air flew past
the two. Osgiliath. SSJ and Davis slowed down their motorcycles. The Rohirrim saw the two
slow down from afar, and they, too, slowed to get a good look at Osgiliath.

It had seen better days, no doubt. It was in shambles- rubble littered the broken streets
and bodies lay everywhere from battles between men and orcs. Of course, the orcs won with
Sauron's power, and now the city was a graveyard for men. SSJ and Davis stopped before it
as the Rohirrim caught the two.

The two glared forward, suddenly filled with gloom. SSJ put a foot down and stepped off the
motorcycle. "Let's go," he said. Momo looked up at him and let go of him. He looked back at
her and said, "We'll go ahead and find survivors- you stay here with them."

"What?!" Momo said with surprise as she grabbed his arm. "You can't be serious! I mean,
look at the place! Look at the bodies! You can't think of going in there!" She stared at
SSJ's unmoved serious face.

SSJ's face moved. He just grinned and looked at her. "Don't worry about me. Davis and I can
take care of anything! Besides, we won't be long." Momo looked up at SSJ's face. He was
serious, indeed. She let go of his arm and edged back. SSJ then turned to Davis. The two
nodded and sprinted into the ghost town.

They dashed past fallen pillars and fallen heroes, searching for any living. Their
footsteps were heard throughout the city. They found more bodies. No one was in the place.
They reached the other edge of the city, finding no one in the place. They looked at the
river and at Minas Morgul looming ahead.

And then they heard it. A horribly familiar, dreadful screeching. The screams of a Nazgul.
They looked up at the sky, and there was a winged shadow. They sighed; not another one!
They stood there on the dock as the winged beast of another of the fallen kings landed upon
a still floating ship.

Water spilled upon the docks, which SSJ was able to just barely dodge. He didn't need to
change into Kero at this time. The two looked at the new Nazgul, glaring at them. They
heard it speak, "How can three of the Nine fall to such men?"

SSJ and Davis ground their teeth together, glaring back at the Ringwraith. This could prove
to be a difficult battle- Rikku had run out of elements needed for Supernova. SSJ and Davis
then leapt back as the winged beast's head swung at them, barely dodging the blow. The
beast bellowed and flapped its wings.

It launched a wave of wind straight at the two, throwing them back into the destruction of
the city. Smoke and dust flew into the air as the rubble and pebbles shifted in the
powerful wind. The Nazgul looked ahead through the smoke, searching for the two.

Suddenly, a voice echoed through the area, "WIND SLASH!" Before the Nazgul could think, the
smoke split to reveal two large waves of white racing at him. He ducked to his beast, and
it was struck by the two powerful blows. It flew back and screamed in pain, flying back and
landing into the river. It sunk to the bottom and floated downstream as the Nazgul landed
in pain upon the docks. SSJ and Davis raced through the smoke and stopped before the Nazgul.

The Ringwraith got to his feet, looking at the two. Hmph... Like they could ever kill him.
They got rid of his mode of transportation, but he can manage the two. He drew his sword,
ready to slice through the two.

And before a large, long ass battle could take place, they heard something strange.
Footsteps. Rocks shifting. Rubble moving. They all looked towards the city. They saw him.
Kensou stood there, cloak taken off and slung over his shoulder. His face was dirty and his
hands were red from their work of shoving pillars out of his way. He rested his weapon upon
his shoulders. "Hmph," said the Nazgul. "More trash."

"Kensou!" said SSJ as he saw the man.

Kensou looked at SSJ, and then at the Ringwraith. "Nice meeting you again, kids," Kensou
said. "Looks like you'll need help." Davis and SSJ glared at the guy for calling them
"kids". Still, they let it go and looked back at the Ringwraith, standing there and
assessing the situation.

"Yeah," said Davis, "But it'd be pointless to ask you. No man can hurt it."

Kensou smiled. "No man? I see." He then stepped forward, fine as ever and acting like
nothing happened to separate the group. "Don't worry about it. They have built a bridge
recently, so you can go there. I'll handle this guy."

SSJ and Davis looked at the guy with surprise. "No way!" said SSJ. "You can't handle him,
no matter how strong your weapon is!"

Kensou glanced at SSJ, and then turned back to the Ringwraith. "Last time I checked,
weapons don't win battles," Kensou said sarcastically without looking at SSJ. "It's the
people who use the weapons. I am plenty strong to take care of this guy. Besides, at the
very least, you all can reach that tower sooner. It's been bugging me for a while."

SSJ and Davis exchanged glances. He was right in that way. They looked at Kensou and said,
"Take care, then!" And they dashed back through the city to lead the Rohirrim. Kensou was
left alone with the Nazgul, ready to fight.

Kensou unsheathed the first blade of his sword and aimed it threateningly at the
Ringwraith. "Let's see what you can do," said Kensou. Kensou then took the first step
towards attack. He moved quickly as he aimed a slash at the black cloaked figure.

The Nazgul blocked with his blade and in turn struck back. He slashed from right to left,
cutting the air above Kensou as he quickly ducked. Kensou skidded back and then propped
himself upon his weapon, surprising the agent of Sauron. "Nidachi Nitou Ryuu... Shoki
Yumigata!" Kensou screamed as he shifted his weight and used his weapon to slash straight
down upon the Nazgul.

He raised his sword to block as Kensou's blade came down upon it. To its surprise, Kensou's
weapon cut straight through his own, shattering it as Kensou unsheathed the other side of
his weapon. Kensou then revealed the second blade, and as the Ringwraith was still reeling
from surprise of the first attack, Kensou performed another. He twirled the weapon around
him and sped towards the Nazgul.

The Nazgul leapt back to dodge the slashes. Kensou just advanced further, pushing the
Nazgul towards the end of the dock. The Nazgul reached the edge; Kensou moved closer with
the blades still speeding about him. The Ringwraith would have none of this! He jabbed
forward, aiming the broken sword straight at Kensou.

Kensou shifted his attack to counter it. He stopped his twirling and pulled his weapon
apart, revealing the final two, pitch black blades. They caught the broken sword in its
tracks. Kensou grinned and used the blades as a scissor, and a little more of the blade
fell to the floor.

The Nazgul was suddenly taken aback. "No man can kill you, huh?" Kensou muttered. He
thrusted one of the blackened blades forward, straight at the Nazgul's head. It shattered
the fallen king's crown, tearing through the other side of the hood. And unlike the
previous Nazgul, who screamed and who faded away with much noise, this one died much
differently.

It turned to ashes, struggling to keep its form as its body from its head slowly broke
apart and fell as black specks. The cloak fell to the ground as Kensou sheathed the two
blades again. "Phage's blood still stains my nidachi," he muttered at no one in particular.

He then looked upstream and saw the bridge across the Anduin. He saw the army marching
across, and he smiled. He then stepped back to where he dropped the sheathes to his blades.
He picked them up and sheathe both ends of his weapon, and once again rested it on his
shoulder. "Well, so much for being a challenge," he muttered as he stepped towards the
bridge.

***

The even larger Fellowship, now with Amiko and Legolas, bowed to the hospitable elves of
Lothlorien, graciously thankful for the meal. They waved and wished each other well, and
soon enough, our heroes left to seek the edge of the forest. They stepped across streams
and over branches, towards the brightening area free from the forest.

They reached the grasslands, finally, looking at the brighter skies. But it was slowly
darkening as night approached. It was their third day in Middle Earth, and their prospects
and jokes were running thin. They even gave up their equestrian form in order to just run
ahead, wanting to end this lame storyline as quickly as possible.

They reached the Great River soon after, and they set down boats handed over by Galadriel
and Celeborn. They leapt on without a word and sailed down the rushing river, quickly
needing to get to Mordor. The three Outlaws steered individual boats with several of the
other Fellowship members keeping a good watch.

They were silent as they passed by the scenery, rowing their boats as it was shoved by the
current. And then they heard it. No, not another shriek of a Nazgul's steed, but something
much more annoying. A certain violin piece... "To send the world to devastation," said the
booming voice of Voldemort, suddenly appearing on a motorboat a good ways up the river.

"Oh no," TM, Amiko, and Cindy muttered as they slapped their foreheads. Mokona muttered,
"PuuuUuu," as it did the same. ("Oh no...") There was Voldemort, standing there smug and
with crossed arms. Peter appeared beside the wizard, "To make minions of every nation."

"To strike down the lameness of self-insertion fics!" Malik yelled as he landed on
Voldemort's other side.

Bakura then appeared beside Malik. "To kill you all just for kicks." And so they went
through all their names in dramatic fashion. The Maze brothers then struck a pose as well.

"Team Voldemort is blasting off at the speed of light!" Voldemort proudly declared.

The three minions proclaimed, "Surrender now or prepare for our bite!"

"Ma-Ze, damn straight!" said the Maze brothers, appearing behind them all, steering the
powerboat onward. The Fellowship sighed at once.

"Thought you have ditched us, huh?!" Voldemort demanded. "You thought those lawyers were
enough?"

"Yes," the three Outlaws interrupted as they rowed their individual boats even faster.

"Shut up!" Voldemort spat back. He then glanced at the Maze brothers, who took the hint and
pushed the motorboat to go even faster. "Well, now, it's your end!"

And unluckily for the Fellowship, there was a gigantic shriek that filled the area. They
suddenly were grim. Not both at once! They looked up at the sky and saw it. Another winged
steed headed straight for them, coming from downstream. The steed and Voldemort both raced
from both ways towards the Crew, and it made them feel overstressed.

Luckily, Voldemort's powerboat struck a rather large rock underneath the current. It acted
as a ramp, launching the boat up and over the Fellowship, with Voldemort cursing along the
way. And to make it even more convenient, their trajectory included crashing into the
unsuspecting Ringwraith. "No!" the Ringwraith said, finally noticing Voldemort a little
late. "This can't be- I can't be killed by pure luck-"

Voldemort's boat crashed down upon the Nazgul, crushing him to a pulp and sending his steed
straight into the river. Voldemort and company were thrown from the boat and landed
unconscious upon the riverbank as the three boats of the Fellowship sped past. Two birds
with one stone! They thanked Mother Nature for the rock that led to the Ringwraith's
fatality.

And they made their way through the river, unhindered by Nazgul or enemy teams alike. The
water shoved them down further, and before they knew it, they were past the statues of the
old kings. They went faster downstream. As they steered their boats, they heard a rumbling.
Water hitting water. They were nearing the Fall of Rauros.

"We need to get off here!" yelled Amiko.

"What did you say?!" TM yelled back, unable to hear with the waterfall incessantly rumbling.

"Stop rowing! Go to the bank!" Cindy yelled louder, pointing to the riverbank.

TM, though, only heard bank, and wondered why they needed to go to a bank at such an
important time. He went onward, unaware of the Fall of Rauros. And as Amiko and Cindy were
about to row away, TM went straight towards the falls.

"HEY!" Amiko screamed. "AWAY FROM THE WATER-"

Too late. "YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" TM and company screamed as they suddenly plummeted from the
very top of the waterfall. A loud plop was heard moments later. Amiko and Cindy froze,
wishing TM would be alright.

During that time, though, they didn't see the edge of the Rauros dangerously speed at them.
"YAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" they, too, screamed, as they plummeted from the top. They hit the water
with a very dangerous plunk.

They were submerged underwater when they landed upon the lake below. The boats turned up
upon the river banks, filled with water, and unconscious bodies floated down the river.
That seemed fun!

***

SSJ and Davis led the charge forward, straight to the Black Gate of Mordor. They braked and
their motorcycles came to a halt just before the Black Gate. The Rohirrim followed, and
they too came to a stop. Everyone lined up, facing the gate, heavily armed and mentally
prepared for war.

The orcs standing atop the gate didn't let that threat go ignored, the author can tell you
that! They sounded the alarm, called for backup, whatever, in order for help.

Help in opening the gate, that is. They had major help for that. As the gate slowly opened,
SSJ and Davis saw why, and swore over and over. Mordor had already mobilized for war, and
just before them, they saw the gigantic army of Mordor, several hundred thousand strong.
The army pressed forward and shoved open the door, and they came into view as they slowly
flooded out from the gate.

They came to a halt. There, between the cursing SSJ and Davis was the Mouth of Sauron,
Sauron's ambassador. The Mouth smiled and said, "Surprised, are you?"

"NO SHIT!" the two yelled at once. Momo tugged on SSJ in an attempt to calm him down,
vehemently swearing and thinking of their low prospects.

Kensou then arrived on the scene, shoving through the Rohirrim and reaching SSJ and Davis.
He took them by surprise, seeing as he, clearly a man, took down a Nazgul. But it was no
time for wonder, as the army of the Rohirrim prepared to defend against the orcish army.

"Okay," SSJ began. He raised his hand into the air and declared, "Author powers! I need a
Zerg Rush!" And as a tumultuous yell ran through the orcish army that began to dash
forward, a similarly loud rumble filled the area.

The onslaught of orcs were met with an onslaught of Zergs. As the first fearless zerglings
and the first nervous orcs neared contact, what would happen but the Fellowship of the
Spatula arrive, dripping wet and fatigued from their encounter with the Fall of Rauros.

SSJ and company turned to see the three plus all of the Lord of the Rings characters, and
they greeted their friends. "Nice to see you all just fine," SSJ said as his zerglings
proceeded to slaughter the orcs.

The Fellowship did not answer. They just stopped in their tracks there and looked at SSJ,
Davis, Kensou, and Momo at the head of the Rohirrim. SSJ frowned at them and did what he
could to help. "Yuna!" he yelled, and out came Yuna. "Do your stuff."

Yuna nodded, "Sure, SSJ!" She lifted her staff and a bright light fell upon them all. They
were healed soon enough, and Yuna disappeared in a flash of red light. They all suddenly
had the vigor and energy of a person who did not fall off a waterfall and nearly died of
shock.

Aragorn and Gandalf looked at the idle Rohirrim. "Men!" yelled Aragorn. "Do not just stand
around and let the author's aliens fight your fight!"

Gandalf lifted his staff into the sky as he called Shadowfax. Out of nowhere, Shadowfax
came, crashed through a few orcs, and stopped just before Gandalf. Gandalf leapt upon the
steed and yelled, "Charge!" The Rohirrim yelled at that. They gave a warcry and charged
straight at the orcs.

It was during that crucial moment that Cindy said, "We must go on to Mount Doom!" SSJ and
Davis exchanged glances. Now that they were together, they might as well have just gone on
their way, but they figured Cindy had some large, important quest to fulfill.

They gave their motorcycles to a couple of Rohan's foot soldiers, and then the Crew
reunited. Cindy turned to Mokona. "Mokona, help fight the orcs! We'll just be fine!"
Mokona, standing on Cindy's shoulder, saluted then, and floated towards battle. With that,
they through the mayhem and into Mordor.

They sprinted, away from the large war and massive bloodshed. They sprinted towards the
tower looming in the distance, Barad Dur, and even further than that, Mount Doom. They saw
the fiery eye up high upon Barad Dur. The eye saw them as well. They all heard Sauron's
laugh. "Finally, we reach the finale," Sauron's voice echoed through the land.

Suddenly, as the seven's feet hit the ground at once, each was suddenly plunged into
darkness. Their surroundings disappeared into the black- blacker than the sky over Mordor.
Amiko turned her head in the blackness, searching for everyone. Suddenly, she found herself
at catacombs of Cirith Ungol, webs and decaying bodies everywhere. She suddenly felt a
chill. She then saw another body beside her, and she turned in fear. She became glad to see
that it was Kensou. "What devilry is this?!" Kensou demanded as he looked through the area.
Amiko shook her head.

Cindy, meanwhile, reappeared at the city of Minas Morgul. And not just at any convenient
place, either, but right in the midst of an army of orcs, but even more dangerous than all
of them put together, the Witchking stood before her, surprised at her sudden appearance.
Cindy looked up at the winged steed, and she did swear, "Well, shit."

TM appeared right at the foot of Mount Doom, his balance suddenly destroyed by the uneven
rocks on the ground. He searched around. There was no person in sight. Well, except for a
tremendous shrieking, and yet another Nazgul swooping down from the sky.

Davis appeared back at the War of the Spatula that commenced, Zergs and humans fighting
orcs in a battle for survival. "Where's everyone?" Davis muttered as he looked around.
Indeed, he had no idea what was going on. He looked at the war, still going on as thousands
upon thousands of orcs still rushed at the small army.

SSJ, elsewhere, stood in the darkness, and he turned his head in search of his friends. He
screamed, "TM! Davis! Kensou! Cindy! ...Amiko! ...Momo!" But no answer came back. He felt
dread creep upon him. He felt weaker, not knowing where he was.

Slowly, his background returned. He felt some reassurance of his existence as a background
came into view. But he realized, he wasn't in the rocky wasteland out there, anymore. He
stood within a stone tower, brilliantly paved and carved with the finest skill. He was
suddenly in Barad Dur, "Genjutsu?!" he uttered, thinking about the possibility of being
carried to the place.

"Exactly," said a voice. He froze. He turned towards the source, seeing a shadow in the
center of the stone room. It was Sauron, greeting him in his own tower. "I have been
leading you on since you passed the Gate. You all have only thought to have been running
together- in reality you all were slowly separating. Neat trick, wouldn't you say?"

"'Neat' isn't the word," SSJ muttered as he glared back at Sauron.

"No need to be hostile. There was a reason you arrived here. You are particularly
interesting, SSJ," Sauron said with a smile. "You wanted to kill me last time we fought,
but at a whim, you escaped with your friends."

"Yeah?!" SSJ spat back, searching around for an exit. He stepped back, uncomfortable as
Sauron stood there. "What's your point?"

"My point... Is this: I want to finish the battle, and teach you and your petty friends a
little thing about reality." SSJ's muscles tensed as he realized his danger. Sauron, with
the ring around his finger, proudly stood before SSJ with his flail, his one real weapon.
"I'm here to prove the depths of Rantmon's power. I'm here to prove why I was chosen to
lead the Enders. I'm here to prove once and for all, friendship is useless."

SSJ looked at Sauron. "My friendship... Useless?!" His eyes narrowed into a glare, a hatred
building for Sauron. Who was he to try and insult his bond with his friends?! Who was he to
declare himself Grand Overlord over him?

"I have every right to say my words," Sauron replied to SSJ's thoughts. SSJ swore,
remembering that Sauron was a psychic. "You don't need to know why I have that right. All
you need to know is this: Fighting for others will only make you rot. Love yourself. Fight
only for yourself. Only then can you be strong, when you have no inhibitions, when you are
able to consider genocide to prove your point. I am strong because of this. I love only
myself, fight for only myself, and I have no inhibitions. The first Fellowship failed. What
makes you think this one will be different?"

---- To Be Continued ----

- ENDING SONG: UNDER THE SUN - Do As Infinity [1] -

Zawatsuita yume no naka mezamashi de yatte kita asa
Zetsuyo ni kaabu suru airain umaku kimatte

Kyoo wa tsuiterun ja nai?
Kagami no naka de hohoemu
Atooshi suru yo ni sora mo
Hare watatte

I walk under the sun taiyoo to dansu kawatteku yokan iin ja nai?
Hi, can you understand? Matteru sutansu muda da yo jikan ugokanakya
Kaiwa no naka mimizawa ina kotoba bakari unzari
Dakara itsumo atashi rashiku asu e no hana sakasoo

---- Preview ----

[The Naruto Main Theme plays in background. The six appear as chibi style, and random
scenes from the next episode play, though you can't see because this is text. Haha!]

SSJ: Next time! The big finale of the Lord of the Spatulas!

Amiko: As SSJ faces Sauron, the once again split up group has to deal with more problems in
order to finally break Sauron's hold.

Kensou: It'll be battle after battle as the jokes wind down to zero, people!

TM: SSJ's running out of them, so as usual, bloody fight scenes.

Davis: How will it end? Will the Spatula and the Ring be destroyed, as well as Sauron?

Cindy: Read it to find out!

----

Author's Note:

[1] I couldn't think of a song for LotR, so I chose another D-A-I song. Yep.