Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ A Very Bad Idea (AKA Roadtrip!) ❯ A Very Bad Idea (AKA Roadtrip!) ( One-Shot )

"Are you sure we're going the right way?" Vegeta sat in the passenger's seat, next to mate, who was driving, if it could even be called driving, asked for the hundreth time since they'd left an hour ago, "I think we're lost, Bulma."

"We are not lost!" She said, fiddling with the radio dial, trying to drown out the sounds of their two children fighting in the back seat. She reached over and smacked Trunks across the face, "Leave your sister alone!"

"But, Mom!" He whined as Bra stuck her tongue out at him, "She started it!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

This time Vegeta reached behind and smacked his son. "Listen to your mother!"

The sounds from the backseat became nothing more than whimpering from Trunks and a snort and soft giggle from Bra. Once again, Vegeta asked his mate if they were heading in the right direction.

"You have the map, you tell me." She said, through clenched teeth, Maybe this family outing wasn't such a hot idea afterall, she thought, Oh, well, it's too late to turn back now! She glanced over at Vegeta struggling to unfold and study the roadmap. He squeezed his eyes almost closed trying to make out the small print and all those confusing lines of different colors. "Well?"

"I'm reading it!" He snarled, turning the map over, "Give me a minute…"

"Maybe it would help," She said sweetly, finally finding a station she liked, "If you turned the map right side up."

He just growled at her and turned the map around, "I was just about to do that."

"Sure you were." She said, smiling, listening to the radio for a moment. At least it drowned out the sounds of her kid sniffling in the backseat. Sighing she reached over between Vegeta's legs and he gave her a raised-eyebrow kind of glance. She rolled her eyes and popped open the glove compartment; "I'm just getting some kleenex for Trunks." She said, "Don't get your hopes up."

Passing her a deadly look, he went back to the map. After awhile, Vegeta threw the thing on the floor by his booted feet, disgusted; "Stupid thing's worthless. No one can make sense of that gooblitigook. I don't see why we're going on this stupid trip in the first place, Bulma."

"Because," She said, feeling Bra kick the back of her seat, again, "You promised me that we'd have a nice normal family vacation, Vegeta."

"But, why did we all have to squeeze in here?" He asked, looking out the window at the passing scenery, "Wouldn't it have been easier to just fly…?"

"Normal families don't fly all over the place, Vegeta!"

"Sure they do, in airplanes." He looked up as one just happened to be passing overhead.

"You know what I mean." She saw Trunks reach over from the corner of her eye and suddenly Bra was screaming again, "Knock it off, you two! Do you want me to turn this car around and go home…?!"

"Please do." Vegeta said under his breath, but Bulma heard, she punched him in the shoulder, "And you! Don't encourage them!"

Vegeta smirked and started to turn the radio dial. Bulma had it on some blasted talk show, he wanted to listen to something else. She screeched and slapped his hand away, "What are you doing!?!" She cried, "I was listening to Rush!"

"Rush Limbaugh." Vegeta sneered, shaking his head, "Such a fat pompous ass!"

"Then you should really like him, Vegeta." She said, again with honey drippings.

"Hey! I'm not fat, woman!" He cried, "I train a lot, you know."

"I see you don't deny the pompous ass part."

"When one is perfect and knows it, is that called being a `pompous ass'?" He asked, using his I-am-Prince-of-Saiyans-and-your-are-nothing-but-a-weak-human tone of voice, "It's not easy being the best, you know."

"Oh, spare me." She said, as their kids started fighting again in the backseat, "I'm beginning to think this trip was a bad idea."

"No!" Vegeta said, sarcastically, grating on Bulma's nerves even more, "What tipped you off? Your kids' contant bickering or the fact that we're lost?"

"Hey, they are your kids too, buster!" She yelled, "I sure as hell didn't make them all by my lonesome! And for the last time, we are not lost!"

"Mom…Daddy?" Trunks whined from the backseat, "Are we there yet?"

"No." Vegeta answered, his son's whining was getting to him.

"I'm bored!" He said again, kicking his father's seatback, "Why can't we just fly there?"

"You heard your mother." Vegeta said, "She wants a normal family vacation."

"But, why?"

"I don't know why, son." He said, "Now, stop kicking my seat before I kick your face in you little brat!"

"Vegeta!" Bulma gasped, punching him in the arm again, "Don't talk that way to your son!" The sniffling and whimpering in the backseat became louder, "Oh, just great! Now look what you've gone and done! You've hurt his feelings!"

"I'm gonna hurt more than that if he doesn't shut up…" This, of course, only made the boy cry louder. This time both parents reached over and slapped him, desperate for some peace and quiet.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Bra." Bulma said, feeling her headache getting worse, she wished she'd bothered to stop by a drug store before they left, "What is it?"

"I have to go potty."

"Again?" Vegeta cried, looking back as his daughter, "You just went a half hour ago!"

"I gotta go again!"

"Fine." Bulma sighed, "I thought I saw a sign for a rest stop a few miles up the road. Can you hang on til then?"

Bra was wriggling in her seat, both little hands clutching her crotch, "I don't think so, Mommy! I gotta go bad!"

"Bra's gonna pee her pants!" Trunks began to sing-song, tormenting his sister, "Bra's gonna pee her paaa-aaants!"

"Shut up!" Bra screeched, sounding exactly like her mother, "Shut up! Shut up!"

"Make me!"

"Moooom!!!" Bra screamed at her look-alike mother, "Tell Trunks to stop bugging me!"

Narrator: And this, ladies and gentleman, is the reason that it's a very bad idea for Vegeta and his family to go on a roadtrip.

~ The End ~