Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ BoogerWorm ❯ The Introduction ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: Just as in my other fics, I have no rights to Dragonball, DragonballZ, or anything else profitable. *sigh*

A/N: Well, this story is just something that came to me one night while chatting with my girl Jadedbest. It was a really stupid comment I made pertaining to a song on a website my other girl, Dragon Demon, sent me a link to one night, and the song's been stuck in my head since. At first I wasn't going to actually write the fic, but after JB begged, I decided to give it a try, so if it really stinks, blame her, not me. ^_^ Enjoy!

"Please, just keep a good close eye on him for me," Goku pleaded. "Chi-Chi and I just need a few hours to ourselves. That's all. Then I'll be back to get him."

"Hey man, that's no problem," Krillin answered. "We're on an island. How far could he go?"

"Ahem," Master Roshi cleared his throat to catch baldy's attention. "I think the water might be the worry. Kids drown you know."

"Oh, yeah...I didn't think of that," Krillin commented.

"You mean water's a bad idea for kids?" Goku asked, perplexed.

Master Roshi nodded his head as if he were the expert on children, "Mmhm."

"Oh, wow! I don't think Chi knows that! She makes him take a bath everyday! And some days when he gets super dirty, she'll make him bathe more than once!" Goku exclaimed, suddenly very concerned for his son's welfare.

Stepping out of the house, Bulma, looking as sexy as ever, even though there was no one around to look that way for, caught the last part of the conversation. "Goku, baths won't hurt him, especially with Chi-Chi around. Besides, they never hurt you. In fact, I couldn't stand to be around you before you started bathing regularly."

Goku grinned and scratched the nape of his neck, holding his young son tightly in his other arm, looking as perplexed as ever.

"Uh, Goku, didn't you say you needed to hurry back before Chi-Chi got upset at you. I think you said she seemed very impatient for you to bring him over here," Krillin reminded Goku of his task.

"Yeah, it's strange. Normally she doesn't want to part with Gohan for ten seconds, much less a few hours, and she sure doesn't like other people to watch him. I just wish I knew what she was so anxious about," Goku voiced his concern.

Bulma just raised a knowing eyebrow. "Goku, you've been married for almost five years and you don't know why Chi-Chi would want to have a few hours alone with you?"

"Well, uh...no," Goku admitted, blushing.

Krillin grinned as he realized exactly what Chi-Chi had in mind. "Uh, Goku, why don't you just put Gohan down and fly on back before she really gets upset? Trust me, we can watch Gohan just fine. We won't let you down."

"Well, alright," Goku smiled at his nearest and dearest friends as he sat his son at his feet and bent to tell him good-bye. "Gohan, you be good and mind your manners, or your mom might get mad at you."

Gohan nodded his head shyly before wrapping his arms around his father's neck in a tight embrace. Goku smiled and returned the affectionate hug before pulling back, prying the boy's arms from his neck. "Look, I really have to go now. I'll be back before long. You just be good and I'll be seeing you."

Gohan simply nodded. Goku placed his hand on Gohan's hatted head and gently rubbed it, causing a few strands of hair not held by the child's ponytail, to escape, going in all different directions around his head like unto a scraggly black halo for the young angel.

"I'm gone." With those words, Goku jumped on his magical cloud and raced through the air toward the 439 Mountain Range, home, and his anxious wife, waving good-bye to his friends, who watched him disappear into the distance, waving until he was completely gone from their sight. It sure had been good to see Goku again.

Bulma slowly approached the child and smiled down at him from behind, "Hi there little guy. My name's Bulma."

Gohan turned around slowly and eyed the girl, carefully assessing her from top to bottom. She sure wasn't his mother, but after looking at Master Roshi and Krillin, he figured she'd have to do.

Bulma held out her hand for a friendly shake with Gohan quickly accepting, after studying the hand momentarily. "Well now, you're pretty friendly," Bulma smiled warmly at him. "Why don't we go in the kitchen and get you something to eat?"

Gohan nodded his head quickly. Food was always a warmly welcomed idea.

"Uh, Bulma, do you think that's such a good idea?" Krillin questioned. "I mean, like father like son. If little Gohan there eats like his dad, then we might not have anything left in a few minutes and I'm not going to town for another week."

Bulma waved one hand at Krillin, casually dismissing his fears, the other holding Gohan's as she guided him toward the Kame House. "Krillin, you worry too much. Look at how small he is. How much could he possibly eat?"

Master Roshi simply watched the exchange, smiling to himself. He figured Bulma would have to learn the hard way and when she did, Krillin and Oolong would have to go to town, leaving him alone with her. His eyes grew wide at the thought. Time alone with Bulma was always welcome for the Turtle Hermit.

"I don't know Bulma. Goku always could eat..." Krillin still seemed hesitant.

Bulma was on the porch by this point and turned to face Krillin, blue eyes flashing. "Would you just drop it?! Back off Krillin! I'm going to take this boy inside and give him something to eat! If he eats everything in sight, then you'll just have to go into town early! Got that?!?"

Krillin gulped and nodded his head submissively. For one of the strongest fighters in the world, he sure gave up easily when it came to orders given by women. First Launch, now Bulma, and no one made Chi-Chi mad, not even Goku dared do that intentionally. What was it with these women?

Once inside the house, Bulma sat Gohan in front of the television, changing it from Roshi's station, The Playboy Channel, to something more appropriate for children. Stopping on Sesame Street, she turned to Gohan and smiled brightly. "Now you sit here and watch TV while I go make something for you. I'll be right back, so don't you move." Gohan nodded his response and Bulma turned, leaving the room for the kitchen.

Gohan stared at the television for a few minutes. The alphabet sure was boring. By now the boy could read entire novels. What need did he have for watching silly puppets dance around singing stupid songs about ABC's and 123's?

Looking around the room, a large window caught Gohan's attention. Through the window he could see a pig lounging in a chair, fast asleep. Having never met the pig before, his curiosity was peaked, and he crawled off the couch, heading for the door to meet this new friend.

As he passed the kitchen, Gohan peeked in to make sure Bulma wasn't looking. After living at his home, Gohan had gotten good at sneaking outside without the woman in the kitchen knowing, since he knew he'd be in serious trouble if he were ever caught skipping out on his homework to play.

Seeing Bulma busy at the stove, Gohan quietly crept past the door then hurried on silent, padded, chibi feet to the front door and his escape to freedom.

Reaching the door, Gohan slowly pushed it open and peered out, making sure no one was looking. Master Roshi was absorbed in a book, while Krillin was busy trying to beat his old record for the most push-ups he could do in ten minutes. They were busy, too busy to notice a small chubby Saiyan, though no one knew what a Saiyan was, slip outside, softly closing the screen door behind him.

Gohan stepped off the small porch, and staying close to the house so as not to be spotted through the window by Bulma, began working his way toward the unsuspecting Oolong. Peering around the corner of the house, Gohan caught sight of the little porker still enjoying his nap in the sun. Gohan grinned to himself, "Bacon," and continued over to meet this strange new friend.

Being as stealthy as possible for a four-year-old, Gohan crept ever closer to Oolong. As he reached Oolong's side, Gohan watched his chest rise and fall with big curious eyes, not unlike his father's.

Slowly, Gohan reached out a hand with one chubby finger extended and gently poked Oolong in the shoulder. Well, it was gently for a Saiyan anyway.

Oolong's eyes flew open only to find himself face to face with a perfectly white, pearly grin of sharp little teeth he only too well picture ripping him to shreds as he dove beneath the chair, leaving behind a very confused little boy.

Gohan blinked a few times before bending over to peer under the lounge chair at the quivering Oolong.

"Hey! Who are you and what do you want? I have friends, very powerful friends. If you do something to me, they'll be sure to make you pay!" Oolong threatened as Gohan just started at him with a blank expression before smiling.

"You're a silly pig," Gohan laughed at Oolong.

"A silly pig?!? Why you little runt!!!" Oolong called out bravely, still cowering from his hiding spot.

Gohan simply nodded his head, grinning, as Krillin rounded the corner, having heard Oolong's distressed voice.

"Oolong, what is it?" Krillin called out, wondering what Gohan could have possibly done to frighten the shape-shifter so terribly.

Gohan turned toward the familiar voice as Oolong replied, "That brat hurt me while I was sunbathing!" crawling out from hiding.

Krillin frowned down at Gohan. "What did you do to him, Gohan?"

Gohan simply looked up at Krillin and walked toward him, holding out his hand. Timidly, he poked Krillin in the chest, which was right at his eye level. Then he looked up at Krillin with his big chocolate-brown eyes, awaiting the verdict.

Krillin frowned at Gohan before looking toward Oolong, who was dusting the sand off his clothes at that moment. "Is that what he did?"

"How am I supposed to know?!" Oolong answered. "I was asleep when he did it! But I do know it hurt!"

Smiling, Krillin shook his head. "Well, I guess that would be enough. You do know who this is, don't you?" Krillin inquired, his hand resting on Gohan's head affectionately.

Oolong studied the kid hard, frowning. "I have no idea, but whoever he is, he'd best keep his hands to himself." With that, Oolong sat back on his chair to once again bask in the sun's warm glow.

Krillin's smile broadened. "Oolong, this is Gohan, Goku's son."

At that remark, Oolong's eyelids flew open once again as he turned his head for a better look, before climbing from the chair and approaching Gohan and Krillin for a closer inspection. Squinting against the sun, he finally nodded. "Yeah, I can see it in the eyes. Now I see where that dumbfounded look he gave me earlier came from, and his super strength too."

Gohan smiled back, happy he had found another new friend. Shyly he spoke, "Sorry I frightened you, Mister Oolong. I didn't mean to."

"That's alright, kid," Oolong said, returning to his chair. "As long as you go now, and let me rest, we'll call it even."

Krillin smiled down at Gohan and took hold of his shoulder to lead him away, toward the front of the house. "Why don't you come hang out with me until Bulma's done with your food? That way you'll be out of everyone's way and Master Roshi won't make me do anymore push-ups while I'm watching you, the son of Goku."

Gohan smiled up and Krillin and nodded his agreement with Krillin's plan.

Continuing to lead Gohan, Krillin started again. "Did you know your dad and I are best friends and used to train together under Master Roshi?"

Sitting on the sand under a palm tree, Gohan shook his head, "No, I didn't. Mom doesn't like it when he talks about that a lot. She said she doesn't want me wanting to do those type things. I should stay home and study to be a great scholar."

Smiling beside him, Krillin nodded. "That sounds like Chi-Chi." Setting his feet in the water, Krillin pondered what subject to try next. "Do you do anything besides study, like maybe train?"

Staring out at the sea, Gohan shook his head. "Mom said, no."

"Do you ever wish you could?"

Gohan shrugged. "I don't know. I've never done it, so I don't know if I want to or not."

"Good point," Krillin conceded. Watching a pair of seagulls, Krillin thought of something to try. "Hey, Gohan, do you like to sing?"

Gohan turned his gaze from the gently rolling waves to give Krillin a thoroughly confused expression. "Sometimes. Why?"

Krillin smiled. "Well, I know a song and I thought I might teach it to you while you wait for Bulma to finish."

"Is it fun?"

"I'll bet your dad would love it," Krillin confirmed.

"Alright!" Gohan now seemed very enthusiastic. His dad did the coolest stuff, and if his dad's best friend said his dad would like the song, then the song must be very cool and fun indeed.

Krillin cleared his throat and began to sing.

Bulma pulled a plate out of the cabinet and set it on the table before dishing the food from the pots on the stove into separate serving bowls and setting them on the table as well.

"I sure hope that's enough food. If he has his father's appetite it might not be. Then again, who can eat like Goku besides Goku?" Bulma smiled, having the answer, at least in her own mind, as always. "No one. That's who."

After glancing around the room to make sure everything was set just right, Bulma walked to the living room to get Gohan for his snack, only to discover his absence. Taking a deep breath, Bulma fought the urge to freak out, for once, and used rational thought to try and locate the boy.

"Maybe he had to use the bathroom," she guessed aloud as she made her way to the door, knocking softly before opening it only to find the room deserted. Now she was starting to freak as she ran through the house, searching each room for the child before heading outside in desperation.

"GOHAN!!!! Where are you?!?" the worried woman called out, obviously very upset over misplacing her best friend's only son. Goku sure wouldn't be happy about this, and if she thought Goku was going to be upset, Chi-Chi would be absolutely livid. The psychopath might even wish to cause her bodily harm.

Thoughts of Chi-Chi marring her perfect face haunting her mind, Bulma began to scour the beach for Gohan before she finally spotted him after rounding a corner of the house, facing the back, and running smack into him.

Bulma and Gohan both sat on the ground where they had landed after their collision, looking at one another for a moment as Krillin approached them, laughing.

Red-faced, Bulma leapt to her feet and proceeded to give Krillin a tongue-lashing. "You think it's funny that I was hit by the kid and landed on the ground, dirtying up my clothing?!? Well, I don't!!! It takes a lot of work to look this good!!!" By this point, Bulma was towering over the cowering Krillin.

Turning her head, Bulma caught sight of Gohan, who was flat against the side of the building, trying to slip out of her sight without her noticing in order to escape a reprimand of his own.

"Freeze, mister!!!" Bulma roared at him, causing Gohan to freeze and turn uncertain eyes on her. Not even his mother yelled at him like that.

"Where do you think you're going?!? I told you to sit still on the couch while I fixed you a snack!!!" Bulma had suddenly moved to tower over the boy, completely forgetting about Krillin and his previous offenses, focusing entirely her wrath on the unsuspecting Gohan.

Shaking, Gohan slowly nodded his head, his eyes watering at her tone. One moment, and two blinks later, tears were cascading down his cheeks causing Bulma to soften her tone and expression, pulling him into an embrace.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that, but you scared me when you went missing. I could just see myself having to tell your parents why you weren't waiting on them when they came to take you home," Bulma explained softly, gently stroking the back of the boy's head comfortingly.

Remembering a trick from her days in dealing with Goku, Bulma pulled back slightly to look Gohan in the eyes. "Look, why don't we go back inside and you can eat? Think that might help you feel better?"

Smiling broadly, Gohan's entire face lit up, thinking about food. Nodding, Gohan confirmed food would indeed help improve his mood.

"Alright then." Bulma led the way into the house's kitchen and took a seat to watch the young boy devour all the food on the table, from a safe distance. When Goku or his family eat, you want to make sure your hands don't get in the way. They might be mistaken for a tasty morsel.

Rising from his chair with a full tummy, Son Gohan waddled from the kitchen, being unable to do much of anything else. Yawning, he made his way to the couch, climbed up, and curling into a tight ball, like a cat, went to sleep.

About an hour later, our small friend awoke to find himself high in the sky on an orange cloud. Rubbing the sleep from him eyes, he looked up to find his father smiling down at him, happier than normal, if that's possible.

"Hey, Gohan! `Bout time you woke up!" Goku beamed. "Did you have fun at the Kame House? I heard you hung out with Krillin, and Bulma fed you before you went to sleep."

Gohan nodded his head, remembering the meal. Though the food had not been quite as good as his mother's, it had still been delicious, not that he ate slowly enough to actually taste it much, but that was beside the point.

"Did you learn anything new while you were visiting?" asked Goku, seeming very interested in his son's day.

A thoughtful expression on his face, Gohan turned his ebony eyes on his father's. "Well, Krillin taught me a song…"

Goku smiled even more. "A song?! Great!!! Why don't you teach me?!?"

Smiling, Gohan began to sing for his father, effectively burning the words and tune into Goku's head by the time they reached home.

Climbing off the cloud, Goku grabbed his son, lifting Gohan above his head and spinning around, much to Gohan's delight, while Chi-Chi watched from the doorway, somewhat sedated compared to the norm.

"Now Goku, you be careful with my baby boy," Chi-Chi warned her husband kindly.

Curious, Goku turned to her and smiled, "Of course Chi." He carried their son over to his wife, who quickly took him, and holding him to her bosom, began covering his face with kisses, while her hands moved hair and clothing out of the way to make sure he was actually still in good condition.

"Well, I guess those friends of yours can be trusted, sometimes," she commented sourly, turning to enter the house, her boy still cradled in her loving embrace. "So, baby, what did you do while visiting with Krillin, Bulma, and Master Roshi?"

Gohan smiled at her. "I played with a pig, learned a new song, ate some food, and took a nap."

Chi-Chi smiled. "Well, it sounds like you had a long day, but I am glad to hear you took a nap. Sounds like Bulma might not be so bad at the mothering thing after all."

Goku grinning from ear to ear, looking at Gohan. "He learned a really cool song too, Chi! Gohan, why don't we sing it for her?"

Chi-Chi sat Gohan on his bed and began taking off his shoes, so he'd be more comfortable and closer to being ready for bedtime after he ate his supper. "I'd love to hear your song, baby."

Gohan's face lit up as he nodded happily. "Sure thing, Dad! As long as you sing with me."

Grinning, Goku nodded his head at his son, "Of course I will, son," and sat on the bed beside him, clearing his throat in preparation.

"Lalalalala," Goku sang out, warming up and getting his pitch, Gohan grinning in admiration. "Ready, Gohan?"

Nodding, Gohan prepared to follow his father's lead.

Goku opened his mouth wide, took in a lung full of air, and in a strong clear voice, began the song. "I taste like a booger but-"

Smiling in adoration, Gohan followed suit, joining in with, "-I look like a worm, and I bet you never seen a booger that could squirm-"

All the talk of boogers was beginning to get to Chi-Chi as she cringed. How could her husband teach her son such a song? Where did he learn it? Why was this the first time she had heard it? This was all his friends' fault. Somehow, she just knew this was true. Every bad habit her husband had, just had to be their fault, because her Goku was just too perfect to be naturally corrupt like that.

The boys continued in perfect unison, "-I'll be here when you sneeze. I'll be here when you cough `cuz I'm stuck on your finger and you can't shake me off, because I look-" with that, the song started over, much to Chi-Chi's dismay.

When they reached the third repetition of the song, the Goku stood, pulling Gohan into his arms and began dancing around the room, still singing, while Chi-Chi fumed. Men living in her home, under her care and guidance should not be singing such a crude and obscene song!

Finally the sixth time the song started up again, Chi-Chi had had all she could take and walked out of the room, opting for working in the kitchen in relative silence to listening to the song right beside her.

Much to Chi-Chi's irritation, her husband and son took it upon themselves to serenade her in her duties as she began preparing supper for them, and they continued their song.

"Must you sing that song incessantly?!?" Chi-Chi turned to the two and glared.

Goku and Gohan froze, blinking their eyes in unison with their obvious confusion.

"Uh, Chi..." Goku spoke hesitantly, "Why not?"

Sighing, Chi-Chi realized the song was giving her husband and son great pleasure. Being a kind and compassionate mother and wife, she decided not to take away something that caused them such enjoyment. "Never mind. You may carry on," she responded reluctantly.

Goku grinned broadly. "Thanks Chi!" Taking a deep breath, and looking at Gohan in glee, he started the song again.

As she cooked dinner, Chi-Chi just grinned and bore the song, which just so happened to be driving her even more nuts, giving her a splitting headache on the verge of a migraine. Finally having enough of the din her family was creating, she turned around, eyes flashing.

"That is enough!!!" she roared. Unfortunately for dearest Chi-Chi, the boys were singing so loudly they couldn't hear her. Once Gohan had gotten comfortable with singing, he had begun to sing loudly, his volume rivaling his father's.

Steaming, Chi-Chi's hand automatically grabbed the cast iron skillet sitting in the draining board and began to approach the boys like a tigress on the prowl, looking for something appetizing to attack.

Meanwhile, Goku and Gohan were oblivious. They had sung the song over and over so many times they had long forgotten how many verses they had actually completed.

Once again they started over, Goku singing, "Because I, taste like a boog-" he stopped as something collided with his delicate cranium. "Ouch!!!" he called out, turning to get a look at his attacker.

Chi-Chi stood behind Goku, her skillet held at the ready.

Goku rubbed his head; his face held a pathetically confused expression. "Geez, Chi! What was that for? I put the seat down this time!"

Crossing her arms under her breasts, Chi-Chi glared daggers at Goku. "That had nothing to do with the toilet. I'm sick of that song!!!"

Gohan stood silently at his father's side, lest he open his mouth, gain his mother's attention, and join his father in the ranks of the recently bruised.

"But Chi," Goku began to plead, prompting Chi-Chi to add a larger knot to his head, beside the first. "Yeouch!" Goku yelped, holding his head again, hoping Chi-Chi's assault was complete. Kami knew he couldn't stand to lose anymore of his brain cells. He was bad off as it was.

The smallest Saiyan couldn't help but smile and giggled a little as his father tried to reason with his mother, all the while holding his head. This earned our littlest hero a smack on his head from the skillet too.

"Don't laugh at your father. It's rude," his mother quickly chided before turning her attention back to her husband. "Do not ever sing that song in my presence again!!! That song is banned from our house forever!!! If I hear it again, so help me, I will beat the singer into a coma with this!!!" Chi-Chi held up her skillet for both males in the room to see. Both knew she was serious. Chi-Chi never joked about her cookware.

Goku felt himself begin to cower under his wife's scrutiny. How it was he could fearlessly face the Red Ribbon Army, Piccolo, and Garlic Jr., yet be deathly afraid of his wife, a mere female, was beyond him. Then again, many things were in that particular category.

Frowning, he nodded his head dejectedly. "I won't ever sing it around you again..."

"Good," came the quick reply. "Gohan?"

Feeling her eyes on him as she waiting for his response, Gohan nodded his head too. "I promise, too."

Chi-Chi's eyes bore into both her family members, making sure they knew she would up hold her threat should they ever decide to risk singing that ridiculous song again. During this inspection, both males looked at the perfectly spotless floor, wishing they could liquefy and ooze away from her without her being able to stop them.

Finally, Chi-Chi's anger began to waive as her barrage of words began coming to a close. Not that yelling was having an effect on the guys anymore after their becoming almost completely immune to the sound of her voice about five minutes into the screaming fit.

After another few minutes, Chi-Chi decided the boys had learned their lesson and left them alone to prepare their supper, confident she would never be subject to their ridiculous song again, since she had effectively killed it that evening. Right?

A/N: Lucky for JB, I was kind enough to write this for her birthday, so Happy Birthday chica!!! (Better posted late than never. ^_^) Well, I hope everyone else enjoyed this, and if you didn't find it humorous, I hope you found it at least cute and amusing. Well, let me know what you thought by leaving a quick little review. Thankies! ^_^

To hear the BoogerWorm song for yourself, visit: http://www.funpages.com/boogerworm/