Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Bulma's Break Up ❯ Chapter 1

Bulma's Break-Up--Part 1

By: Bulmafox

Bulma walked up the stairs to Yamcha's apartment. I wonder what's got him so wound up, she thought as she walked down the hallway. She arrived at Yamcha's door and went in.

Yamcha crossed his arms and said, "Well, did you have fun?"

"What are you talking about, Yamcha?"

"You and Vegeta" Yamcha said accusingly, "You ran off with him, didn't you?"

"What? How dare you accuse me of such a thing!"

"Come on, Bulma. I knew you had the hots for Vegeta ever since you had that dream about him!"

"And this coming from a cheater."

"That's different, Bulma. You know how painfully shy I used to be way back when. I'm just making up for lost time."

"That is the lamest excuse I've ever heard!" Bulma exclaimed. Just then the phone rang.

"Who is it?!" she almost shouted.

"Oh, I must have gotten the wrong number."

"No, you didn't. Yamcha's…busy right now. May I take a message?"

"I just wanted to ask Yamcha if the date's still on."

"All right. May I ask who's calling?"

"Amanda, Yamcha's girlfriend."

"Yamcha's girlfriend, I see. Okay, I'll tell him when he gets in. Okay, bye." Bulma hung up and glared at Yamcha, who had the guiltiest look on his face that she had ever seen. She walked up to Yamcha and yelled, "You cheating dog!" slapped him square in the face, and stormed out.

"Bulma, I can explain!" Yamcha pleaded, knowing it wouldn't do him any good.

"You really blew it this time", Puar, Yamcha's floating blue cat, told Yamcha.

Back at her house, Bulma got really mad and started throwing anything and everything within her reach. Suddenly, she heard a voice behind her say, "That's it, let it all out."

Bulma turned around and asked, "What are you doing here, Vegeta?"

"I live here now", Vegeta said.

"What makes you think that?"

"You're the only one I can halfway tolerate. You're father is too cowardly for my own good, and your mother is so happy-go-perky it makes me sick!"

"There's no way you're living with me…unless you go out with me."

"What?? Are you mad, woman?"

"Don't worry, it won't be a real date. I just want to make Yamcha jealous, that's all. They way I see it is, if Yamcha sees me with another man, he will become so jealous that not only will he beg me back, but he will swear off cheating forever."

"No."

"Come on, Vegeta. Just five `dates' and you can live with me. I'll even throw in a gravity room."

"Since you're so intent on making Yamcha suffer, why not? But there's no way I will let myself be recognized."

"I know that. That's why I'm buying disguises."

Later that day, Bulma and Vegeta went disguise shopping at a mall a few cities away. Bulma bought enough different outfits to make Yamcha think she was going out with a different man every day. She also made some spy stuff to keep track of Yamcha's dates so that she and Vegeta would be ready.

A few nights later, Bulma was working in her lab when a spy device went off. She picked up the phone and overheard a conversation.

"Great", Yamcha said, "I'll see you at 8:30 tonight. Big 8 Theater, right, Tonya?"

"Right-e-o, loverboy," Tonya purred, "Don't be late."

Bulma hung up the phone and looked at her watch. It read 8:20.Bulma ran as fast as she could to Vegeta's room. "Big date! 8:30! Big 8 Theater!" Bulma shouted.

"All right, woman!" Vegeta yelled.

Bulma went to her room to throw on something halfway decent. When she came downstairs, she saw that Vegeta was already dressed. He was wearing a Titans baseball cap, with his hair in a ponytail, a pair of blue jeans, and a white tee shirt. A thin shirt, almost too thin for her own good. She could almost see his chest, which wasn't so pumped up that he would need a bra, but it was still rather impressive. Then there was that washboard stomach of his that most men would kill to have. Bulma started breathing a little faster and sweated as she studied Vegeta's upper body rather intensely.

"What are you staring at, woman?" Vegeta asked sharply, snapping Bulma out of her reverie.

Bulma regained her composure and said, "You just had to wear that paper-thin shirt, didn't you?"

Vegeta realized what Bulma was staring at, and said, "Yes, I do have an irresistible body, don't I? I'm surprised girls aren't crawling all over me right now."

Bulma rolled her eyes. "Get over yourself." She and Vegeta went to Big 8 Theater.

Ten minutes later, they arrived at the theater and got in line right behind Yamcha and his date, Tonya. Bulma slapped Yamcha on the back and practically yelled, "Yo Yamcha, wazzup!"

Yamcha said, "Oh, hi. Who's that guy?"

"He's my date…..John."

"Nice name", Vegeta mumbled under his breath.

"Shut up", Bulma muttered back.

"Hey Yamcha, who's that girl? Do you know her?" Tonya purred.

"Who, her? Must be a groupie," Yamcha said nonchalantly.

"Oooh! Now you're going to get it", Bulma muttered under her breath. The four of them bought tickets for the same movie and sat down, with Yamcha and Tonya sitting near the front row, and Bulma and Vegeta sitting three rows behind them. As soon as they sat down, Yamcha and Tonya started making out. Bulma tried to concentrate on the movie, but she couldn't take anymore after seeing them make out for 20 minutes. "You can't escape from me", Bulma said to herself. She started throwing popcorn at Yamcha's head, pausing when Yamcha looked back so he wouldn't suspect her.

Vegeta saw this and thought, So that's her plan. She sure knows how to fight dirty. Well, why don't I join her? "That's nothing", Vegeta told Bulma, "Watch this." He charged a little bit of ki in his popcorn-filled hand and threw it at Yamcha's head. Yamcha felt some little bangs on the back of his head, so he looked back to see what was going on. Bulma and Vegeta paused and looked as innocent as could be. This continued for the rest of the movie. Bulma and Vegeta threw popcorn at Yamcha, then paused and put on their most innocent faces when every time Yamcha looked back.

When the movie ended, Bulma made sure she and Vegeta left first. She had one more trick up her sleeve, and she wasn't afraid to use it. As soon as Bulma saw Tonya and Yamcha, she kissed Vegeta as passionately as she could. She looked up a minute later only to see Yamcha and Tonya walk right past her and Vegeta. Bulma ran up to Yamcha and asked, "Don't you even care that I just kissed that guy right in front of you?"

Yamcha said nonchalantly, "It's your life", and walked away with Tonya.

Bulma picked up the first thing she saw and threw it at Yamcha's head.

Yamcha turned around and said, "Just 'cause you can't have me doesn't mean you have to get violent about it, lady". He turned back around and told Tonya, "Some girls can be really desperate."

"Guess he told you", Vegeta said.

"Let's go home", Bulma said angrily. She grabbed Vegeta and drove home.

When they got home, Vegeta immediately snapped on Bulma. "What did you do that for, woman?!!"

"Do what?"

"Kissed me! Why did you kiss me?! That was totally uncalled for!"

"Listen, Vegeta, I will get Yamcha back and I intend to use every dirty trick in the book if I have to!"

Vegeta smirked and went "Mmn Mmn Mmn."

"What do you think you're smiling about, mister?" Bulma demanded.

"You sound just like a Saiyan."

"I what?"

"If you had a tail, you'd practically be one of us", Vegeta said as he walked up the stairs. "'Night, Bulma."

As they went to bed in their separate rooms, Bulma resolved that next time she would try harder.

A few days later, Bulma found out that Yamcha was taking some girl named Catherine to an Italian restaurant called La Roma Italia. Bulma and Vegeta followed them and sat a few booths away. A waiter walked up to them and asked, "May I zake zee order, pleeze?"

Bulma decided to ordered for both her and Vegeta, and she said, "We'll have the spaghetti." Bulma looked at the table and noticed there were three shakers: one for salt, one for pepper, and one for an unknown substance. She asked, "Hey sir, what's this shaker for?" pointing to the third shaker.

The waiter answered, "Zat's ze garleec shakur. In case zu want extre garleec on zur pasta", and walked away.

A wicked idea crept into Bulma's head. Vegeta asked, "What are you up to?" when he saw Bulma's devious-looking face.

Bulma said, "You'll see." She walked over to Yamcha's table when no one was around, and poured all the garlic in the shaker on to Catherine's dinner, then sat down and started eating like nothing happened.

When everyone's dinners were done, Bulma whispered to Vegeta, "Look over there." At Yamcha's table, Yamcha leaned in to kiss Catherine, but then he pulled back and said loudly enough for everyone to hear, "Your breath stinks!" Catherine said, "You pig!" slapped Yamcha in the face, and left him to pay the bill.

Bulma giggled and turned around, and saw that Vegeta almost rolled on the floor and died laughing.

"Was it really that funny?" Bulma asked.

"That was... low...even...for me. You...should have seen..the look..on his face", Vegeta managed to gasp out.

Yamcha glared over at Bulma accusingly, as if he knew who was responsible for that mess. Bulma paid for the dinner, and she and Vegeta left as innocently as possible.

The next day, Bulma and Vegeta went on their third 'date', a skating rink. They conveniently arrived when Yamcha and his date, Mandy, did. While Mandy wasn't looking, Bulma put some super glue in the axles of one of her skates. While Mandy and Yamcha were skating, Yamcha noticed that one of Mandy's skates were dragging on the floor, so he picked up the skate to examine it, which made Mandy lose her balance and crash into the rail.

After apologizing profusely to Mandy, Yamcha got an idea of who caused the accident, and walked over to Vegeta, who was in disguise. "Um, excuse me, sir," Yamcha said, "You know that woman you came in with, the blue-haired one?"

"Yeah", Vegeta said, disguising his voice, "What about her?"

"Well, she may not look like it, but she's a married mom."

"Married mom. Is that so?"

"Just thought you'd like to know," Yamcha said before he walked off.

Vegeta walked over to the arcade section, pulled Bulma away from Street Fighter, and ushered her to the phone booth.

Bulma was obviously mad at Vegeta. "What did you do that for?! Don't you know that I was about to beat Bison?! This better be good, Vegeta!" she demanded.

"He's onto us", Vegeta said.

"Who, Yamcha?"

"No, the Easter Bunny, of course Yamcha!"

"What did he say?"

"He told me that you were married and you had a kid."

"Is that so? I say fight fire with fire."

"What do you mean, woman?" Vegeta asked. Bulma whispered her plan to Vegeta.

A few minutes later, Vegeta walked over to Mandy and hugged her from behind, and said, "Hey honey, where were you? I've looked for you everywhere."

Mandy looked at Vegeta like he had six heads. "Excuse me, but who are you?"

"Why, I'm your husband, of course. Don't be silly."

"Yeah right. I don't have a husband. See? No ring." Mandy put out her hand for Vegeta to see.

"Come on, don't be so modest. Nothing's wrong with pawning your ring to feed our little ones."

"Little ones? You are one sick man!"

Just then, Bulma appeared. "Yamcha, dearie, I thought you were at home with the baby."

"What? What baby?" Yamcha asked.

"You know. Our baby. Yamcha Jr."

"Um...these people are creeping me out. I'm gonna go now", Yamcha said hurriedly.

"Yeah, me too", Mandy added. She and Yamcha left the skating rink.

"Oh my gosh, this is working better than I thought!" Bulma exclaimed

"Can I take off this disguise now?" Vegeta asked.

"Just a minute", Bulma said. She looked outside in the parking lot. There was no sign of Yamcha or his car anywhere. Bulma yelled inside, "It's safe!" and walked back to the table.

"Now what do we do?" Vegeta asked.

"I have and idea! Let's skate."

"No way."

"Come on, don't be a chicken." Bulma dragged Vegeta onto the rink. Almost immediately, Vegeta had trouble standing up. When Bulma finally adjusted Vegeta so he wouldn't fall down, they started skating.

"See? Isn't this fun?" Bulma asked.

"Oh, yes. This is loads of fun", Vegeta said sarcastically.

Bulma looked back and saw Vegeta was just standing there, letting her drag him around. "That's not the way to skate", she said, "You actually have to move your legs." Bulma tried to teach Vegeta how to skate. At first, he could barely move without almost falling, then he stomped around for awhile, then he finally got the hang of it.

A few minutes later, a love song came on, and the announcer said, "Couple skating and backward skating only!"

"I want off!" Vegeta demanded.

"Come on, Vegeta, don't be a scaredy cat. Let's couple skate", Bulma said.

"No way. I am not going to turn into a bowl of mush!"

"All right then, I'll make you a deal. If you couple skate with me, then you can challenge me to one round of Street Fighter"

"No. I have a better idea. One round...per song."

"Deal", Bulma said. They couple skated for five songs, then played five rounds of Street Fighter. Bulma played as Guile and Vegeta played as Bison. They both won two rounds. The last round was down to the wire. Both players had very little life left. Bison attacked with Psycho Crusher, but Guile countered with a Sonic Boom, then did a triple-spin kick on Bison, knocking him out.

"YES! I beat you good!" Bulma gloated. "I-I wo-on! I-I wo-on!" she said in a singsong voice, "The Prince of Saiyans is no match for The Great Bulma!"

"Your ego is even bigger than mine", Vegeta groaned.

The skating rink was about to close, so Bulma and Vegeta decided to go ahead and go home. When they got home, Bulma checked her answering machine. There was one message, and Bulma played it. It said, "We need to talk."

It didn't leave a name, but Bulma knew from the sound of its voice that it was Yamcha. Bulma said to herself, "Like I'm really in the mood to get fussed out by him", and walked up the stairs to go to bed. When she reached the top, the phone rang. Bulma raced down to pick up the phone.

"Hi, this is Bulma", she answered.

"You are one very sick woman, Bulma", the person on the other end said.

"Is that what you called me for, Yamcha?"

"I know that I've cheated on you before, but there's no sense in going out with three people at once!"

"What do you mean 'three people'?"

"Who do you think? Me, Vegeta, and your man of the day, that's who."

"Well, if a certain person didn't cheat on me all the time, then maybe I wouldn't have to resort to this."

"What? He's never cheated on you once."

"Yes, he did. All the time."

"No, he didn't."

"Yes he did"

"No he didn't!"

"Yes he did!...Wait a minute, we're not talking about you, are we?"

"You thought we were talking about me? I was talking about Vegeta."

Vegeta came downstairs and said, "Who is it?"

Bulma turned on the speakerphone.

Yamcha said, "I hear someone in the background. Is that Vegeta? You're sleeping with him, aren't you?"

"Who said Vegeta is even here, and even if he is, what's it to you?"

"C'mon, Bulma, I know you two are 'doing it'. I can just hear you now", Yamcha proceeded to imitate Bulma, complete with panting and all, "'Oh...Vegeta...oh...Vegeta...oh, Vegeta...yes...yes!...YES!'"

"...You're paranoid, Yamcha," Bulma said. She hung up the phone and went upstairs. "Can you believe the nerve of that guy? He is so paranoid! I mean, he actually thought we were sleeping together."

Vegeta said, "Me sleep with you? Ha! When pigs fly."

"Well, I guess we better get started, then."

"What, are you crazy, woman?"

"Well, Yamcha's a pig, and he flies."

"You know what I mean!"

"I know that. I was just kidding with you. Goodnight." Bulma and Vegeta went into their separate rooms and fell asleep.