Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Icebox ❯ 01 ( Chapter 1 )

My son thinks I'm crazy.

 

Actually, let me clarify. I am kind of crazy. At least, it feels that way. Used to be I'd get these flashes of visions of my other son, Kakarrot—saw him as the one who'd end Freeza. Turned out to be right, too. He's accomplished a lot, from what I hear. Watching his battle against that stretchy pink thing was just about the most exciting thing I'd done in my time in Hell, until recently.

 

By the way, forty-odd years in Hell? Yeah, I'm surprised I'm not as crazy as Raditsu thinks I am.

 

Back to the visions, though. See, whatever let me see those dramatic scenes before seems to be wearing off. Used to see events from decades in the future—now, dunno, seems like it could be a couple of years, couple of days, who knows. Used to see Kakarrot's dramatic standoffs with his foes—dunno if he's all done with that, or what, but now all I see are lesser events in his life—in his future, I assume.

 

Take yesterday. Middle of playing cards with Raditsu, I blank out for a second. What do I see? Kakarrot kicking some guy's ass? Nope. A staredown? Not even that. No. I see the guy eating dinner. Like I needed that. Shake myself back to the real world—have another of those “shit, I'm still in Hell” moments—and there's Raditsu looking at me like I just saw his cards or something.

 

I don't think he knows that all of my visions are related to Kakarrot, so there's no way I could do that even if I wanted to. Oh well, no reason to tell him—the look on his face when I beat him again was priceless. I'm pretty damn good at card games.

 

 

…

 

 

We played cards oftten. But I picked up on Raditsu's strategies fast, so it didn't take long for me to start beating him pretty regularly. Also got some extra help—found a couple of others who played cards and learned from them, too, when Raditsu was busy elsewhere.

 

Did the same thing with my training.

 

I mean, I sparred with Raditsu pretty often—not like there was much else to do, besides the cards. I think his time in Hell has left him feeling like there was no point to training though. With all these other guys around here that are so much stronger than us, why even bother?

 

I'll tell you why. That fucking Freeza.

 

It's not just me, either. I was here long before he died. I knew Hell before Freeza. Not like Raditsu and Nappa, not just a handful of years adjusting to the idea of eternally sitting on their asses, just a little too sweltering hot. I wouldn't say I'd gotten over that—dunno that I ever will—but damn, I was here for more than twenty years before Freeza got here.

 

You think Hell, you think the worst it can get, right? But it gets worse. It gets worse when Freeza shows up. Most of the guys who served him living were too scared not to serve him dead. He started up a regular gang down here, thought he could keep going on like he did in life or something. Now, the gods don't like that sorta deal, hordes of people in Hell banding together, I gather, but if the hierarchy of the universe isn't being threatened, they couldn't care less.

 

So Freeza's monopoly on anything that anyone ever did in Hell went under their noses unnoticed. Don't think it would have gone anywhere—guys stronger than him are down here, too, coulda stopped him if they got sick enough of it. Sure as hell (I'm standing right here—so pretty damn sure, I'd say), though, none of them gave him the time of day, never really cared for him. Doesn't know when to shut his mouth. Thinks he's just about the smartest guy around. Maybe he knows he's not the strongest—he'd better—but if he does, he sure don't act like it.

 

I should say, he sure didn't. Before, I mean. Before what we did.

 

It's a little saddening, y'know—seeing the guy who blew you up alongside your planet, bane of Hell's existence, huddled in the corner, whimpering threats to someone who's not even there.

 

Did I say “a little saddening”? I meant “the best experience of my life”…death. Whatever.

 

 

…

 

 

Best place to start is the beginning, I guess. Before Freeza died, I was pretty content fighting other Saiyajin, stupid little games that got us by. Raditsu showed up, started joining in. Then Freeza died. I knew (of course) that Kakarrot had done it, but keep hearing this rumor about Prince Vegeta's son. Sounds pretty convoluted to me.

 

Anyway, the place got real miserable (more miserable), real fast. We got by, though. Raditsu's pretty good company, at least. Little full of himself—but at least it's entertaining.

 

There's nothing weirder than spending time with your own son, let alone twenty-odd years.

 

I dunno if seeing the battle against that Buu fellow sparked something, or maybe it had just been twenty years of too little change. Whatever it was, I'd had enough of it. Didn't know what to do, though, `til the middle of a sparring match against Raditsu. Behind my eyes I saw Kakarrot wandering through a forest with some kid who could only be my grandson. I came to probably ten minutes after a solid blow to the head. What was my first word? “Adventure.”

 

I'm sure that really reinforced Raditsu's confidence in my sanity. In fact, I know he thought something wasn't right with me, because first thing he did was sit me down and challenge me to a card game. It took me a while to remember why I'd said it in the first place, so I obliged, but—someone butted in on the game. This guy Raditsu knew—I really didn't. He was leaning over my shoulder (no small feat for what a tall guy he is) and looking at my cards and kept raising his eyebrows significantly at Raditsu. Right about as I was fixing to hit him over his big, shiny noggin, my own head smacked against the table. Kakarrot and his kid were pushing about half a mountain across a landscape (god knows why).

 

When I lifted my head again they were flipping through my hand, muttering to each other, and Raditsu looked like thwacking the new guy upside the head might've made him the happiest man in Hell. I said to `em, “We need to go do something different. Something crazy.”

 

I might as well have told them I was a Super Saiyajin for their baffled faces (Raditsu looked more perturbed, I guess). Well, their loss, I figured. No point in saving good ideas for a rainy day, not in Hell. So I stood up and left.