Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Interviews and Debates ❯ The Debate and Interview ( Chapter 1 )

Interview

This interview is just a cheesy conversation with Goten from Dragon Ball GT (not Dragon Ball Z). This is what you would think of DBGT if you were in Goten's shoes.

 

The Interviewer: Welcome everyone to my talk show, The Interview. I'm your host, The Interviewer. Today, we have a guest who, as you all know, we will interview. Our guest, the DBGT Goten, is here to share his views of DBGT in the English dub and the original Japanese. Please welcome…the 27-year old Goten himself!

Goten: Thank you, The Interviewer.

 

The Interviewer: So Goten, let's start with the basics. What do you like about Dragon Ball GT?

Goten: …

 

The Interviewer: Got a clue?

Goten: Well…that definitely is a tough question to answer. But I'll have to say that I like the Japanese Version's music, not the FUNimation version's music. If they were going to translate the show, why can't they translate the music? I mean I could listen to “DAN DAN Kokoro Hikarete `Ku” all day long, but do you think anyone could bear to listen to “Take the grand tour”? I guess the only thing I like about Dragon Ball GT is the Japanese Version's music.

 

The Interviewer: What is “DAN DAN Kokoro Hikarete `Ku?”

Goten: The theme song for Dragon Ball GT in Japan.

 

The Interviewer: Don't cram things up, but what do you hate the most about Dragon Ball GT?

Goten: If you want me to not cram things up, I'll just say that I hate everything, Japanese Version or not.

 

The Interviewer: Can you be more specific?

Goten: Specific is my middle name. Anyway, to start things off, I'll start with the things pertaining to me. First of all, everything that made me unique in Dragon Ball Z was taken away in Dragon Ball GT. Second of all: They just had to turn my dad back into a kid again…WHY? Because he was becoming too *old* for fighting (like fifty something) you know, they should have left my dad's age alone and let someone of his kin take over…like Gohan or me! Third of all: Contrary to Vegeta's explanation of “pure Saiyan's hair doesn't change” in Dragon Ball Z, Dragon Ball GT made his hair look shorter and they gave him a mustache. That is another uncannonical thing of Dragon Ball GT. Fourth of all: How much of a wimp are the half-saiyans? Very! Gohan's role in Dragon Ball GT was reduced to the point where he has no logical impact on DBGT. Trunks gets in the spotlight for an odd reason, Goku gets more spotlight time (he has for billions of years), and they made it so I didn't train for ten years! THAT is another uncannonical thing about DBGT because I solemnly swore to my dad that I would train when he's gone during the last few episodes of Dragon Ball Z, but those creators of DBGT obliviously made me weak…making me break a promise I never thought I would break! Fifth of all…must I go any further?

 

The Interviewer: Yes.

Goten: Fifth of all, Pan looks like a six year old even though she is supposed to be fourteen. OR, maybe Pan doesn't know how to count and considers herself to be an adolescent. That's it! Maybe Pan is an adolescent wannabe - because she doesn't act fourteen, she doesn't look fourteen, but she looks six years old and ACTS like it!

 

Pan: Hey!

Goten (ignoring the interruption): Sixth of all, the main characters in DBGT are once again reused or pathetic!

Pan: I'm not reused or pathetic!

Goten. Ahem! Anyway, let's start with the infinitely famous Son Goku himself. Goku has been reused for the umpteenth time in Dragon Ball history! Why can't we just give him a rest and put him in a retirement home? Goku has been with us since the first episode of Dragon Ball, which makes him an extremely old man to be fighting at his age. Plus, if you haven't noticed, most Dragon Ball fans hate the hell out of DBGT because GOKU IS ONCE AGAIN SAVING THE WORLD/UNIVERSE FOR THE TRILLIONTH TIME! Give it a change, will ya? Okay, now we move to my best bud Trunks. I'm okay with him being a main character, but sorry, he is another reused main character…for instance - does MIRARI TRUNKS ring a bell, DBGT creators? Okay, now we move on to our beloved Pan. Pan is pathetic - she sure is immature to even be called a fourteen year old. She wants to blast off into space with the crew even after her superiors tell viable reasons for her not to be in space. Does she listen? Hell no. Now we go to an even more pathetic main character, Giru. This robotic punk was originally evil. He is also a big waste of time - he did “help” Goku, Trunks, and Pan, but only because he served as their Dragon Radar after eating theirs. If they didn't come across the freak, do you think the crew would not survive? Actually, it is a simple no! It's like a Scooby-Doo chase scene, where Scrappy tells everyone to stop the chasing and the music and tells us how good of a puppy he has been or some crap like that. Seventh of all, some villains were reused in the past Dragon Ball chapters, which are, but not limited to, Pilaf, Freeza, Cell, #17, etc. Eight of all: What was even more pointless was the Goku Jr. Special; yes we know how “kawaii” Goku Jr. is. But don't you think it would be really stupid to throw in someone who won't be around until another hundred freakin' years? Also, since Dragon Ball has finally ended, with more than 500 episodes belonging to Dragon Ball in its entirety, Goku Jr. is even MORE pointless than ever - there is no more Dragon Ball in production, and even though you fans don't want to accept it (even making a completely unofficial and fake “Dragon Ball AF”) so Goku Jr. doesn't belong in Dragon Ball/Z/GT! He's just and odd ball if you ask me.

 

114-year-old Pan: Hey, that's my grandson you're talking about!

Goten: You wanna start a debate?

Goku Jr.: I'm no odd ball!

The Interviewer: Shut up, the both of you! Now Goten, what else do you have to say?

Goten: I rest my cases…unless these two goofs want to make something out of it.

Goku Jr.: First of all, if DBGT didn't end so quickly, I would have been in a show of my own!

Goten: And your point is…?

Goku Jr.: My point is what I just said.

Goten: Okay, face it - there is no more Dragon Ball episodes coming, so you might as well let your name die.

 

The Interviewer: Okay! That's all the time we have for today, so if you two still want to debate, I'll let my cousin, The Debater, host your debate. Until then, good bye, New York City!

 

Goku Jr.: Oh, I want this debate to continue, and I'll make sure Goten regrets calling me and DBGT stupid.

* * *

The Debater: Hello New York City! As you saw a half-hour ago on this channel, Goten and Goku Jr. began debating on my cousin's show, The Interview. Since they wanted to settle the heated discussion, I invited them to debate on this show, The Debate, which usually hosts political discussions. I thought, what the heck, these two anime characters can debate all they want for half an hour on my show! Now let's get this party started! In this corner, weighing more than 293 lbs and standing tall at six feet, five inches, we have the one…the only…Son Goten!

 

Audience: *cheers*

 

The Debater: And in this corner, weighing more or less than 60 lbs and standing at three feet, two inches, we have Son Goku Jr.!

 

Audience: *cheers*

 

The Debater: We have two parties competing tonight, the Pro-DBGT party, and the Anti-DBGT party. Goku Jr. will be defending DBGT while Goten will be attacking it. On Son Goku Jr.'s team, will be his Great-Great-Grandfather, Son Goku himself! And on Son Goten's team will be his brother, Son Gohan!

 

The man dressed as a referee: Okay, you guys have exactly 28 minutes to debate when the bell rings. Make sure your debates are clear, concise, and -

 

The Debater: (Whispering to The Man Dressed as a Referee (TMDAAR)) they know what they're doing.

 

TMDAAR: Shut up.

 

The Debater: Okay, when you're ready, Son Goku Jr. will give his debate on why DBGT is good, followed by Son Goten explaining why it sucks, followed by Goku, then Gohan. Then it starts over again.

TMDAAR: As you will see below, the names of the debaters are bolded when they talk. If they talk out of turn, they are not bolded. Let the debate…begin!

 

Goku Jr.: Goten only hates DBGT because he wasn't in it for a significant amount of episodes, and his role has been reduced to nothing. Do you think that's a viable excuse for hating DBGT? I think not. DBGT only had 64 episodes to make a point, so they had to get Goten along with many others out of the picture to make a point.

Goten: DBGT only had 64 episodes because you, Son Goku Jr., stunk it up midway!

Audience: *Gasps*

Man from audience: (Whispering to another person in audience) I thought Goten would never insult his kin!

Goten: No, that's not the reason…but the real reason is because DBGT had lost its popularity so much so early into the show, that it had to be cancelled. It was originally supposed to run longer than 64 episodes, but it turns out that so many people in Japan hated it to the point where only 64 episodes were produced. What Goku Jr. said about DBGT only being allotted 64 episodes is wrong; DBGT was allotted an unlimited amount of episodes depending on how good its ratings were.

Goku: *Eating hamburger* Mmmm…tasty.

Goku Jr.: Uh…Grandpa…you're up next.

Goku: Oh! *hands hamburger to Goku Jr.* Dragon Ball GT did not stink, it's just that the viewers didn't see it as a good show. It was a good show; the viewers just don't know what they're talking about. Plus, many viewers left DBGT because it was funny in the first episodes. Finally, action took place, and yet viewers didn't come back to DBGT! They're just spoiled losers!

Gohan: *taking bathroom break*

Goten: I'll fill in for my nii-chan. The first few episodes of DBGT were NOT that funny! And it wasn't planned for DBGT to become an action-packed moronic show later, it was planned to stay comical…packed with bad jokes…ahem…excuse me, STALE jokes until the very end. DBGT was changed into an even staler action-packed joint because the loser creators saw the popularity plummet to the point of where popularity for DBGT could be neglected. Back to you, Junior.

Gohan: I'm I late for my turn?

Goten: Unfortunately…yes.

Goku Jr.: DBGT's popularity only waned because Goten showed his face during the first few episodes. If it wasn't for him, the show would have carried on until the early 2000s instead of the early `90s! Sorry Goten, no hard feelings, right?

Goten: (Teeth clenched tightly) I…will…do…so…manythingsunimaginabletoyou when I get my hands on your puny head.

Audience: …

Goku Jr.: I am so afraid…

Goten: You will be…just like the time when you were going to Mount Paozu where you took on several villains - you ran away from almost every single one of them!

Goku: Don't be harsh on him, buddy.

Goten: Who told you to talk, father?

Audience: *Shuffles uncomfortably*

Goten: As I said on The Interview, DBGT is reusing and reusing and reusing to the point where it is pointless and redundant!

Goku Jr.: *grabs dictionary and looks up “redundant”.*

Goten: If DBGT's whole purpose in reusing previous and already-stale characters, DBGT might as well not exist! We have Pilaf in Dragon Ball, we have Cell in Dragon Ball Z, we have #17 in Dragon Ball Z, but we shouldn't have them in Dragon Ball GT! The only major villains who had good use and have not existed in Dragon Ball/Z were Bebi and the One Star Dragon. Well, actually, Bebi does have an uncanny appearance resembling Buu, so I guess only the One Star Dragon is notable.

Goku Jr.: *whispers the definition of “redundant” in Goku's ear*

Goku: Dragon Ball GT is not redundant because they used previous villains and put them in a whole new setting, saga, and role.

Gohan: DBGT is totally redundant - you don't need me to prove it, you can see it once you watch it! Just what my bro here said, the show was supposed to be a comical adventure, which is a huge, redundant reference to Dragon Ball.

Goku Jr.: The only reason why it is redundant is because Gohan is in it - Gohan has been reused trillions of times in Dragon Ball Z, and so Gohan's retarded existence itself contributes to the redundancy of DBGT.

Goten: The only thing you're good for, Son Goku Jr., is insults and crap mouthing. Nobody likes that, and to let you see the light, I will demonstrate to this audience the reason why we're debating in a wrestling ring. *Punches Goku Jr. in the nose, making it bleed copious amounts of blood.*

Goku Jr.: Owww! I want my Panny!

Goten: When you insult someone, make sure it is someone weaker than you so that you won't get hurt…better yet, don't insult at all because someday you'll end up in a courtroom, debating for your life.

Goku: Okay, I would like to say that this debate needs to end before someone dies defending their visions.

Goku Jr.: It won't stop! It keeps flowing out of my nose!

Goku: Do you see what kind of feud we're engaging in?

Goku Jr.: I might lose all of my blood tonight!

Goku: Did you see what Goten did to my Great-Great-Grandchild?

Goten: Only because he deserved it!

Goku: Why can't we just reach a consensus?

Gohan: You don't even know what consensus means!

Goku: War tears best friends apart, and that's exactly what's happening to this family!

Goten: Uh…one problem, I won't see this punk until another hundred years or so years!

 

TMDAAR: Times up! Counting the points scored from each team, including the great punch Goten showed us, Goten's party wins! Scores; Goten: 294, Goku Jr.:229

Goten and Gohan: Yeah!!!

Goku Jr.: I'm still bleeding!

The Debater: All right, that's it for 2nite! Tomorrow night, our guest stars will be Democrat John Kerry against Republican George W. Bush in an all-out heated debate for who should REALLY be US President…especially since Florida had voting problems. This is The Debate, and we're out!