Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ MST3K Saiyajin Style ❯ The Way It Never Was - Installment Two ( Chapter 3 )

MST3K Saiyajin Style!~

Chapter 2 - The Way It Never Was part 2~

I, once again, apologize to ZeekSlider. Just because. But... you have to admit... this story is TERRIBLE!!

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> Meanwhile, in a cave near Yamzabit Hights, Kit and Kat had

> teleported in to a very displeased Master Kizar who was slowly

> reviving Piccolo.

Yamcha: *Kizar* Why do _I_ always have to heal the cucumber men??

> Kizar is wearing a long black cape

Gohan: Yes, but was it _dark_ black?

> that sometimes draped in the front forming a cloak. His hair was

> a silky silver

Gohan and Yamcha: OLD FART!!

Trunks: So... it was a silky silver, as opposed to a _rough_ silver?

Yamcha: And was it streeked?

> and he had features exactly like the late Zarbon, when not in his

> transformed state, of Freeza's army.

Vegeta: Then... he must have been displeased because he had been chased around all day by his legions of Fangirls.

> "Some warrior you are," scolded Kat. "What'd he do? Surprised

> you from behind?"

Yamcha: Boo.

Gohan: AAHHH!!! *Jumps into Trunks' lap*

Trunks: ACK!!! GET OFFA ME!!!

Gohan: *Coughs and goes back to his chair*

> "As a matter of fact, yes," Kit retorted. At lest he tells the truth.

> Kat let out an annoying laugh.

Yamcha: With a snort and everything?

Trunks: Maybe high-pitched giggling?

Gohan: Or both?

Vegeta: My ears are bleeding just thinking about it...

Gohan: And did you guys notice that we went French up there?

Yamcha: At lest he tells ze truth. Hoh hoh hoh!

> "And just what were you going to do with that box?" laughed

> Kat. "Use it to hold your tacky collectibles?"

Vegeta: Or his Kit Kat Bars.

> Kit got red with anger. Out of the corner of his eye, Kizar flashed

> a cold glance at her.

Yamcha: I'VE BEEN BLINDED BY A COLD GLANCE!!!

Trunks: Quarter!

Gohan: Hey, look! Kit, Kat, and Kizar! KKK!

Yamcha: Just what we need, the Ku Klux Klan.

Gohan: The Ku Klux Klan has Kandy now!

Trunks: Kome on, Gohan, stop. You're getting strange.

Yamcha: Well, the same thing Kan be said for you.

Trunks: No it Kan't!

Vegeta: These are shameless word plays, you know that?

> Both immediately stopped.

Yamcha: They stopped the shameless word plays? Good.

> "What are you doing, my master?" Kit asked politely.

Gohan: Making a cucumber sandwich. Go away.

> "Reviving the Namek," Kizar said without turning away.

Yamcha: That would imply that he was facing them, so wouldn't it be hard to revive Piccolo?

Trunks: And I thought that Piccolo was dead!

> Even his voice could tell the dumbest person this guy was evil to

> the core.

Gohan: His voice realized that it belonged to a dumb, evil person? Or was that sentence just badly worded?

Yamcha: I think the sentence was badly worded, but you can never tell...

> "Are you sure that is wise?" Kat asked in reply. "He may attack

> again." She said this with a slight smile on her face and a glance

> to Kit as if to make fun of him.

Yamcha: Your mother wears army boots and dresses you funny!!

Trunks: Wha...?

Yamcha: I'm making fun of him.

> "I need him for bait," Kizar explained.

Gohan: I've never thought that fish would be attracted to six foot tall green guys with yellow eyes before...

> "More than likely, those Sayians that you came across will come

> and look for him. And when they do," he cracked an evil grin,

Yamcha: Crack the evil grin on the edge of the bowl and dump the white and yolk into the flour, sugar, and cinnamon mixture, being careful not to drop any of the shell into the bowl.

> "they're in for a big surprise."

All four: AH!

> He then turned around to face his only warriors. "They will have

> to fight one of you to the death. It will be a one-on-one match to

> the death

Gohan: Feeling redundant, are we?

Yamcha: A one-on-one match, as opposed to a forty-on-seventy-seven match?

> in the Destiny Caves. I'll pick the warriors when that time comes,

> but let me assure you this." His eyes drifted in Kit direction.

> "This match will tell me just how worthy of a fighter the one I

> choose is."

Yamcha: Not if they're dead, it won't.

> Kizar then turned back to his work. That glance from him sent

> Kit a message.

Trunks: Telegram from Mr. Glance!

> He started to feel himself sweat, and his heart was pumping

> faster than it has before.

Vegeta: Kit or the glance?

> "Guard the entrance here and stay there until you see the

> Sayians."

> "Yes sir," said both. They then vanished as they bowed to him.

Yamcha: That'll teach `em to bow, durn `em.

> Once at Kame's Lookout, Gohan and the others were met by

> Dende and Mr. PoPo. As Goten got a new set of clothing, Dende

> explained to them how,

Gohan: We need an explanation for how Goten got new clothes?

> unless this new force is delt with first, wishing the others back

> with the Dragonballs is useless.

Yamcha: Why? `Cause they'll die again!

Trunks: So, you might as well just wish for hospital food.

> "What do you mean?" queried Trunks.

> "Shortly after Bra left, that Kizar fellow came along and attacked

> The Z Fighters," Dende started. "We didn't even sense him

> coming and, therefore, didn't stand a chance. They fought their

> hardest, but, as you can see, they didn't win this fight.

Trunks: Um... I thought they didn't see it coming.

> They were all sent to another dimension. Now, if we revive

> Goku, Krillian, and the others, we normally would have a

> fighting chance, but in this case, we don't.

Yamcha: So forget I brought it up.

> If we can't sense their ki, we are open to any attack they please."

> "Apparently, they like the surprised method,"

Trunks: Yes, my methods must _never_ see what's coming!

> continued Mr. PoPo. "It seems as if they know that you guys can

> sense the ki of others and are taking advantage of the fact that

> you can't sense them."

> "BaBa found their hideout in Yamzabit Hights," resumed Dende.

> "We think it best if you go there and try to get rid of them as

> quickly as possible. Mr. PoPo will take all of you there."

> "Pan," Gohan started as he knelt down to her height, "I want you

> to stay here."

> "She can't," ordered Dende. Gohan turned his head to Dende.

> "BaBa also saw a plan that involves all of you to go.

Vegeta: Small children make the best shields!

Gohan, Yamcha, and Trunks: VEGETA/POPPA!!!

> It is best if you all went; otherwise, they may come looking for

> the rest of you killing and destroying all that is in their path. We

> can't risk the people of Earth like that." Gohan nodded as a sign

> that he understood.

Yamcha: And then they pulled out their flags and proceeded to talk in semaphore!

> "Okay, guys," called Mr. PoPo, "Are you ready to go?" He then

> showed them his magic carpet hovering next to him.

Vegeta: Did he expect them to be impressed or something...?

> They all nodded. "All right. Let's get going." They boarded the

> carpet.

Yamcha: We _can_ fly, ya know.

> As Trunks was getting on, Dende grabbed his shoulder at stop

> him.

> "Yes, Dende?" he said still keeping that cold look.

Trunks: Quarter!

Yamcha: You have, what, a dollar twenty-five from this fic already?

> "Take these," Dende said as he handed Trunks a bag of Senzu

> Beans. "BaBa also saw something dark happening to you. You're

> one of the strongest fighters left on the planet, and we can't

> afford to loose you."

Gohan: But we _can_ afford to tight you.

> Trunks stuffed the bag in his jacket and boarded the carpet. Then

> in a flash, they were off to Yamzabit Hights.

All four: Whee.

> Please be careful, thought Dende. I have a bad feeling about

> these next fights. Someone may not survive while the remainnig

> may be used.

All four: What's a remainnig?

> In no time, the five Sayians arrived at the edge of Yamzabit

> Hights.

> "Here we are," declared Mr.PoPo. Everyone looked around.

> There were dark cliffs all around the edge as if to give warning

> to stumbling hikers.

Yamcha: Not that it would do much good, because if they were stumbling, they'd probably fall off the edge.

Trunks: ...and go huddling to the ground.

> A cold bast of wind constantly blew against them.

Gohan: And caused them to go huddling into each other amog the cliffs.

> The sky was a very dark and almost deathly black.

Trunks: Instead of a light and happy black.

> This is the devil's domain that they were now entering.

Yamcha: Good for them. I'm glad I'm not in this story.

> "Cozy," Trunks said sarcastically. They all got off the carpet

> except for Mr. PoPo. Trunks turned to see the carpet vanish

> taking Mr. PoPo back to Koran Tower.

Trunks: ...to rejoin the Muslim holy book.

> The guy may be a whimp,

Vegeta: New hybrid. Cross between a wimp and a whip.

> but he has his reasons, he thought. If I was in his place, I would

> too. He turned back to Yamzabit Hights. "But first things first."

> He joined the others as they appoarched the massive cliffs.

Gohan: Yes. The first thing you think of when you see dark, threatening mountains with huge cliffs is `Gee, this thing really needs a porch'.

Yamcha: Don't you mean a poarch?

> Pan and Gohan were scanning the area for a potentially safer

> entrance.

Trunks: Instead of the poarch.

> "So," questioned Bra, "how do we get in?"

Yamcha: Not the poarch, that's for sure.

> "That's easy," smiled Goten. "Jump." He then shot off skyward.

Yamcha: *Singing* Off we go, into the wild black yonder...

Gohan: Goten... that would be `flying', not `jumping'.

Vegeta: Well... he never was the brightest crayon in the box. He takes after his father.

> "Goten! No!" yelled Gohan. As soon as Goten cleared the face of

> the cliff, a whip shot out and wrapped around him.

Yamcha: Which was better than a `whimp'.

> The young Sayian screamed in pain as the whip was engulfed

> with flames.

> "Goten!" screamed Trunks. And with those words,

Gohan: `Those words'? It was one word. One.

> he was pulled over the cliff still screaming.

Trunks: BANZAI!!

> The remaining four stood there listening. At irregular intervals,

> Gotens blood cold scream

Yamcha: Yes, the new special salad dressing! "Goten's Own Blood-Cold Scream"! Great on Chef's Salads.

Gohan: Is it just me, or are we getting morbid from sitting here too long?

> for help was heard from a distance that was only drowned by the

> wind. "Come on," he commaned.

Trunks: First I was `demaned', then `commaned'. What's next?

Yamcha: Well, there's always `remanned'...

> He then jumped to the top of the cliff grabbing the edge. He then

> climbed onto the bluff.

Yamcha: BUT IT EXPLODED!!! AAAHHH!!!

Gohan: Hold it, I thought they were in the mountains! Where'd the bluff come from?

> "Just what do you think you're doing?" Bra yelled at him.

Trunks: Making a cucumber sandwich, why?

> "You could end up like Goten! And even if we could save him,

> how would we find him?" Another one of Goten's scream for

> help echoed. Pan and Gohan realized what Trunks was doing. He

> was going to follow the screams as long as they lasted.

Gohan: ...and then silence Goten.

Trunks: Weren't you saying something about getting morbid earlier?

> Gohan clasped his hands together to support Pan's foot as she

> stepped into them.

Vegeta: I get the sudden feeling that part of this fic was cut out somehow... and that we just missed something...

> He then shot her upward. Pan did a very impressive backflip and

> landed on the bluff like a gymnast. Gohan looked at Bra as if to

> say with his eyes 'You're next.'

Yamcha: *Opens his mouth to say something*

Trunks and Gohan: *WHACK*

> She didn't even take one step when a sudden depression appeared

> below her and a pair of gloved hand grabed her ankles.

Yamcha: Look, Michael Jackson's back!

> "Bra! No!" Trunks yelled. That's all he could really do at such a

> sudden instance. Keep in mind that none of them sensed any ki

> and, therefore, were prone to any attacks.

All four: Duh.

> Bra was pulled underground; her screams stifled as the ground

> closed over her.

Vegeta: Does he think this is some shocking revelation?

Yamcha: Pro wrestlers with all-trombone bands aren't prone to be very bright.

> Trunks looked as if he was about to cry. He was alone now. The

> only one left in his family that actually was lucky enough to get

> this far against a foe of this type.

Gohan: Um... ok... FRAGMENT!!

Trunks: Not this again...

> "Hey, guys," Pan noted,

Gohan and Yamcha: La!

> "listen." All three of them listen as hard as possible.

Vegeta: Don't strain yourself.

> Besides the wind blowing past their ears, there was nothing.

Yamcha: *Singing* The answer, my friend, is blowin' past their ears...

> "Goten," Pan sobbed. "Is he--?"

Yamcha: Was she talking to Goten?

> "No," interrupted Trunks. "Otherwise we would've sensed a

> sudden loss of ki, right Gohan?" Gohan jumped onto the cliff.

> "Yeah, we would," he supported.

Gohan: Yeah, we would! Definitely! Yeah! Of course!

> He then turned to Pan. "But we didn't, did we?"

Trunks: Did we? DID WE?!

> Pan began to slime slightly through her tearful eyes.

Vegeta: ...that's... disgusting.

> "We better get a move on if we want to find them," Trunks

> commanded

Trunks: I found it to be more effective than `commaning'.

> as he got his sword from its capsule.

Trunks: I DON'T KEEP MY SWORD IN A BLOODY CAPSULE!!

Gohan: Just smile and nod.... Or, better yet, slime and nod.

> They then climbed down the other side of the large bluff and

> headed toward the deep center. Gohan and Trunks were walking

> as low as possible;

Trunks: Thud, thud, thud, thud.

> Trunks had his sword extended in what looks like fencing stance

> six (straight in front and level with his head) to defend against

> anything.

Gohan: It's a defence stance.

> He knew it wouldn't help him much, but he would rather go

> down fighting.

Yamcha: I regret nothing!!!! Boom!

> He knew something was going to happan to him, but what?

Vegeta: Yes, yes, tell us what's going to happan!

> Pan was sprinting from bolder to bolder acting as a look-out.

Gohan: Bolder? Do you suppose he meant _boulder_?

Yamcha: Ya know, we have a vast amount of terrain here... mountains, bluffs, bolders, poarches...

Trunks: All under a happy black sky.

> She would go from one bolder, look around the peak,

All four: Bolders have peaks now?

Vegeta: Last time I checked, bolders were round.

Trunks: Not in Happy Black Sky Land.

Yamcha: Home of the Poarches.

Gohan: See the football teams, the Poarches and the Amogs, go huddling into each other at extreme speeds!

Trunks: While Michael Jackson does the cheerleading.

Yamcha: Now _I'm_ confused.

> and then bolt to the next nearest one.

Yamcha: As opposed to the _nearest_ one. Because we can't make anything easy in Happy Black Sky Land.

> They were about three miles into Yamzabit Hights when Pan

> saw something.

Vegeta: NO! NOT _SOMETHING_!!

Gohan: But... if the sky was a happy black, that would mean that there was no light... so.... Wouldn't it be too dark to see anything?

> She ducked down

All four: Quack!

> behind the bolder and signaled Gohan and Trunks to hide as well.

> Gohan was against a wall being blocked by the bolder

Vegeta: Bolder blocking is a very popular sport right now, I'm given to understand.

Gohan: Yes, but does it involve any huddling?

Yamcha: "Michael Jackson slimed as the bolders huddled amog each other." Hey, check it out, I'm adding to the story.

Trunks: That sounds like an excerpt from a really bad children's novel... titled `Michael Jackson and the Exploding Bluffs in Happy Black Sky Land'.

> that Pan ducked behind. Trunks was on the opposite side of the

> deep valley behind a cropping of the cliff to his back.

Yamcha: I remember ol' Cliff Cropping...

Gohan: Plant the cliff cropping amog the cucumber sandwiches and quarters in the dirt. Slime at it.

Yamcha: *Singing* Slime, tho' your heart is breaking, slime...

> Gohan signaled Trunks to look around and see what Pan saw.

Trunks: Peak-a-boo!

> Trunks slowly moved his sword beyond the cliff using it like a

> mirror.

Trunks: Fly!

Gohan: That's one long reach you've got there, Trunks. From one side of the poarch to the other.

> In it's refelction, he saw a caves opening about ten feet away.

Yamcha: A single opening to a lot of caves? That's interesting.

> A few seconds later, Kit entered the image.

Gohan: Stage left. He then exited stage right.

> He then looked up at Gohan. He mouthed 'What is it?' to him.

> Trunks moved his sword to reflect the image to him while still

> giving him the same image on the other side of his double-blade.

All four: Huh?

Yamcha: Oh yeah, _that's_ clear.

Gohan: Which `he' would we be referring to each time, pray tell?

Vegeta: Him 1 and Him 2.

Trunks: Just like the Cat in the Hat!

> Now, both he and Gohan can see the cave opening and Kit.

Gohan: Hey, stop peaking at me!

> He put his long hair in a low ponytail as he talked to Kat.

> "How long do we have to wait?" he asked Kat.

Yamcha: Wait? For what? Until his nails are dry?

Vegeta: And then they remove the curlers quickly. Very quickly. Just rip them from the hair.

> "They'll come," she assured. "Don't worry. We'll catch all of

> them easy."

Trunks: Is it just me or is this getting harder to understand with each passing syllable?

> Trunks moved his head to get an image of Kat without disturbing

> Gohan's vision. "And if they don't, we can always get them the

> way we got these two." Behind Kat, Trunks saw Bra and Goten

> tied together by a rope made of rock.

Yamcha: ...I doubt it's very flexible...

Gohan: You know what a rope made of rock is?

Trunks: What?

Gohan: Chains.

> Both were knocked out.

Vegeta: Shock.

> "Well," Kit started, "since it's been about an hour, what do you

> say we get another one?"

Gohan: What, are we on Zelda time or something?

> "Why not?" Kat smiled. "let's pick on the cute purple-haired

> one." Trunks gasped to himself.

Trunks: Um... am I still eleven in this fic, or am I just imagining things?

> She turned slightly, but the image made it look like she was

> staring directly at him. She cracked an evil smile.

Yamcha: No! The recipe only calls for one evil smile! We have Kizar's already!!

> Did she know that Trunks was spying on them?

All four: Of course not.

> "Why him?" argued Kit. "His too strong for you.

Gohan: His what is too strong for her? Nouns are good additions to sentences, you know.

> Why do you want to capture him?"

> "Because he's cute." Her eyes were still locked onto Trunks in

> the refection.

Gohan: Ah, so! You rike pupure-hailed boy in refection, yes?

> "Besides," she reached inside the cloak, "he right there!!" She

> pulled out her whip and snapped it in Trunks direction.

Yamcha: New compass! North, South, East, West, and Trunks!

> Quickly, Trunks moved his sword downwards as the whip flew

> by cutting her weapon in half. Kit jumped over the bolder that

> covered Pan from their sight and held a fist over his head

> gathering power.

> "Yoo-hoo," he taunted.

Yamcha: Hey, big boy!

Vegeta: Now _that's_ disgusting.

> "Up here, weakling!" Gohan looked at him; a battle-ready face

> was on.

Yamcha: MORTAL KOMBAT TIME!

Trunks: I'm Scorpion. That's just all there is to it.

Vegeta: I would be Sub-Zero, but I'm kind of dead in this fic.

> "Block this!" Kit swung his hand forward and opened his fist.

Gohan: Ooh, was there a present inside??

> A beam of ice shot out towards Gohan. It hit him on the chest

> not only freezing his torso but sending him flying into another

> set of bolders.

Yamcha: High-speed huddling!

> "Daddy!" yelled Pan as she ran towards him.

> "I don't think so, sweaty,"

All four: Sweaty?

Vegeta: Was that why she was sliming?

> Kat ran past her grabbing Pan in her free arm.

> Pan screamed.

> "Pan! No!" Trunks turned Super Sayian and rushed towards the

> two sword pointed at Kat.

Trunks: But... wouldn't it be good if there were two swords pointed at Kat?

> She turned her head and flung her whip at him.

Yamcha: Here, catch.

Gohan: Not as good as my punch.

> Trunks could've cut it easily in half again, but something

> happened.

Yamcha: SOMETHING AGAIN!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!

Gohan: At least it didn't happan this time.

> The whip was engulfed in flames and was getting longer. Trunks

> brought his sword around and blocked it. The whip wrapped

> around the blade with the flames causing the sword to heat up.

Vegeta: *Sarcastically* Really.

Gohan: Bad fic authors delight in stating the obvious.

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Ok! The second terrible installment of this fic! I'll get the third up...I think there's going to be something like....four? It's a 130 page story x.o The MSTs just make it longer. Sooo...see ya next time!