Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Short, Dark, Pointy-Haired Man Banned From Disney ❯ Merchandise, Rivalry, and the Revenge of the Princesses ( Chapter 10 )

Chapter 10: Merchandise, Rivalry, and the Revenge of the Princesses

By Elbereth in April

The group hurried on to Morocco. They marveled at the hand-painted tiles and carvings in the architecture, then turned towards the sound of music. A small stage was set up, where several musicians played. An attractive woman in a harem-style costume was belly dancing.

"Uh oh," Goku and Bulma chorused as Roshi suddenly appeared on stage, clumsily moving to the music, eyes never leaving the woman's shaking form.

Piccolo slapped himself again.

"Whose turn is it?" Gohan asked.

"Rock, paper, scissors?" Goku suggested.

"*I'll* get him," Vegeta smirked.

"No!" Goku twitched visibly. "I'll get him!" He rushed over to the stage and pulled Roshi off it, then drug him along behind him. "Let's just move on to Japan," he said over Roshi's heated protests. The others agreed.

"Let's see how authentic they made it." Gohan looked around.

"Have you noticed how all these countries are pretty much one big store?"

"Well, let's see what Japan is selling." They entered the store.

"Kimonos, bonsai trees, rice candy. . ."

"Cool! Samurai swords!" Trunks pressed his face against the glass.

"Chopsticks, tea sets. . ."

"Hey, anime!" Goten called. Trunks came over. "Gundam Wing, Yu-gi-oh. . . hey look! Dragonball Z merchandise!"

The others all hurried over.

Trunks was looking at a wall scroll, puzzled. "Is this supposed to be me? Why am I so much older? And why do I have a sword?" He looked at his mother.

"Um. . ."

"Why do all these shirts have Kakkarot on them?" Vegeta demanded in a dangerous voice.

"Papa, can I have a sword?"

"Don't look at me like that, Vegeta, it's not my fault! Look, this shirt has you, me, Gohan, and Trunks!"

Goten pouted. "What about me?"

"Why am I always hidden in the background?" Piccolo complained to Gohan.

"I want a sword! Mom!"

"Vegeta! Vegeta--this shirt is just you!"

"Ooh, and it's bright red, and don't you look handsome on it!" Bulma soothed. "And powerful, of course."

"I like this sword here, in this case!"

"Wow, look at this wall of Hello, Kitty."

Vegeta involuntarily glanced at the Hello Kitty merchandise and finally calmed down. "We're buying my shirt," he said.

"Sure, dear," Bulma replied.

"And that sword!"

When the others were busy looking for their faces on mugs and trading cards, and Bulma and Trunks were distracted arguing over weaponry, Vegeta snuck nonchalantly over to the Hello Kitty display. `Wow,' he thought, `look at all this neat stuff I can add to my collection!'

His eyes ran greedily over the merchandise that covered one entire wall. `Key chains, shirts, diaries. . . hey, Hello Kitty as the Wizard of Oz characters! Hn, still no flying monkeys. . .'

"Um, Vegeta?"

Vegeta froze, then slowly turned his head to see Goku staring at him with a puzzled expression. "What are you doing?"

Vegeta thought fast. "Looking for Yu Yu Hakusho?"

Goku scratched his head. "That's just Hello, Kitty."

Vegeta gave a very fake laugh. "Oh, you're right, Kakkarot! My mistake!" He hurried over to Bulma.

"Wow," Goku mumbled. "I never thought I'd hear Vegeta say those words, ever." He brightened. "I knew it! He really does like me! Hey, Vegeta, look, we're action figures!" he called, following him happily.

"Buy one of those, too," Vegeta told Bulma.

"Papa. . ."

"And buy the brat a sword." His son had to keep ahead of Kakkarot's.

As they headed for the store exit, Goku took out the action figure of himself that he'd bought. "Look, Vegeta! I press this button and power up to Super Saiyan!"

Vegeta immediately pulled his own action figure out of Bulma's bag. His figure did not have this feature. "Blast you, Kakkarot!" he shouted. "You're always one step ahead of me!"

The others eyed him strangely. Goku grinned impudently and used his doll to knock Vegeta's doll to the floor. He knew he was going to have a long, grueling search for the dragonballs because of this, but the look on Vegeta's face made it all worthwhile.

As Vegeta turned an interesting shade of red, the others slowly backed up. This could only have one result.

Not even the Hello Kitty collection was safe now.

Vegeta reached down and picked up his action figure. He raised its little hand. He powered up. "Big Bang Attack!" he cried, holding the doll up as if it was firing, too.

Everyone dived for cover.

The roof and the walls exploded up and out, pieces raining down, along with the occasional fortune cookie (there had been a restaurant directly above them), and merrily blazing little origami animals. The bonsai trees outside went up in flames.

"Vegeta!"

Goku pressed the button to light up his action figure, stuck out his tongue at his Prince, and raised the doll's hands. "Kame hame ha!"

Vegeta and his doll dodged away, leaving a 3-story pagoda to take the blast. The tall, imposing tower tilted to one side and majestically toppled over into the World Showcase Lagoon.

"Goku!"

Vegeta reappeared and kicked Goku in the face, raising his doll's leg as he did so. Goku responded in kind.

Chi-Chi turned to Bulma. "I've seen my husband do some strange things, but this just goes beyond anything I've experienced."

Bulma smirked. "Watch this. Hey, Prince Vegeta! I didn't know you played with dolls!"

The punch he'd aimed at Goku's head went wide, smashing through a statue of a samurai, as he spun to yell at Bulma.

"Ack! Onna! What are you insinuating?"

"It looks like you're playing with dolls to me, Papa," Trunks put in mischievously.

"Yeah, Dad, you, too," Goten and Gohan added almost as one.

"It's an action figure!" Goku protested, hiding it behind his back.

Vegeta slunk over and threw his Vegeta-figure back into Bulma's bag. "I didn't even buy any Hello, Kitty," he mumbled.

Bulma smiled at him and pulled the bag open wider so he could see inside. Lo and behold, a Hello Kitty backpack was half-hidden at the bottom. "I'll give it to you when we get home," she whispered.

For a moment, he went so far as to smile back, then he turned and scowled at Goku. "You started the whole thing, anyway."

Goku grinned, and started to hand his doll back to Chi-Chi. Bulma intercepted it, then pulled the Vegeta doll out again. "Long live Prince Vegeta," she said, waving the Goku doll and having it bow to the Vegeta doll.

Vegeta smirked and preened visibly.

"Aw, Bulma come on," Goku whined, reaching for his toy.

"Ooh, Vegeta, I hear you're married to that beautiful genius who owns Capsule Corps. Why, yes, Kakkarot, she's the Princess of all Saiyans!"

Goku made another grab for his doll. Vegeta picked Bulma up by her waist and hovered a little ways in the air so Goku couldn't reach.

The others all sighed, and walked away, shaking their heads and pretending they didn't know them.

When the threesome caught up, they assumed an air of nonchalant innocence, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. The others made no comments; there are certain things one would just as soon not think about.

____________ ____________

Japan to America, America to Italy, Italy to Germany. . . "Hey look, an all-you-can-eat buffet!"

They all tramped over, Saiyans in the lead.

"It's them!" a security guard in a German costume radioed to the buffet chef.

"Guten morgen! It can't be! Quick, Heinrich, Gustav! Stop them!"

As their party started to enter the restaurant, two terrified looking employees blocked the way through the door. "Terribly sorry, sirs, madams, but we're closed!"

"Closed?" Goku's eyes welled up with disappointment.

They both nodded their heads vigourously. "You can always eat at one of the other countries," one suggested. "I hear Japan's restaurant is good. . ."

"You just had to blow it up, didn't you, baka," Vegeta sneered, ignoring the fact that it had been his blast that took out the restaurant.

"It's OK, Dad, that one wasn't all-you-can-eat," Gohan consoled him.

Goku sighed. The other Saiyans sighed. They left for the next country.

The workers sighed in relief as the group faded into the distance.

"Did you say you were closed?" asked a tourist family.

"No, no, come right in. . ."

______________ ____________

From Germany, to China. "Wow, look at these fancy dresses," Chi-Chi marveled. After some shopping that lasted too long for the boys, they left the store.

"What's going on over there?"

"It's Mulan and Mushu!"

"Where's Roshi?"

They turned back around just in time to see Roshi step out of the crowd and approach Mulan. Her welcoming smile faded as she locked eyes with him. "You!" she snarled. "The other girls have been telling me about you!"

"Eh, what?" Roshi stepped back but Mulan stalked forward, and pressed her sword against his stomach.

"You lecherous, perverted hentai! You must be taught a lesson!" she proclaimed.

"Mulan, calm down," Mushu tried to soothe her.

As she turned her head to look at the dragon, Roshi leaped away and started running. She snapped her head back around. "Oh no, you don't get away that easy!"

She ran past the startled crowd and opened a door marked Cast Members Only. "Hey girls!" she screamed. "He's here!"

Suddenly Disney princesses began pouring out of the door, looking around in fury. "There he goes!" Sleeping Beauty cried. "After him!"

She and Mulan led the procession, followed by Snow White, Cinderella, Jasmine, Ariel, and Belle, all running full tilt, holding up their skirts. Roshi yelled, "Help!" and tried to run faster, even though part of his mind was still distracting him with hentai.

Bulma, Chi-Chi, and the boys were laughing so hard they were holding their sides. Goku, Vegeta, Gohan, and Piccolo looked at each other. "Should we save him?"

"Hn. He's getting what's coming to him."

"He was *your* sensei, Dad, not mine."

"Don't look at me, I'm asexual."

A look from Vegeta. "What does that have to do with it?"

Goku bit his lip. Any rescue attempt would obviously be up to him. `Should I or shouldn't I? For one thing, I've never seen him so look happy.'

At that moment, Sleeping Beauty tackled Roshi from behind, laying him out on the ground in front of dozens of stunned, bewildered guests (who would never look at Disney princesses in the same way). Mulan put her sword to the tip of Roshi's throat as Sleeping Beauty stood up and dusted herself off.

"Now ladies, surely you don't want to kill a poor, helpless, old man?" Roshi quavered.

Mulan smirked evilly. "Oh, we're not going to kill you. We're going to give you to *her*." She pointed to a figure coming up from behind. A large, daunting figure with dark eyes, gray skin, and an octopus's legs. "Ursula."

Ursula smiled in glee, swooped down, revealing massive cleavage, and scooped Roshi up into her arms. "We'll have some fun now, my pet," she cackled.

"Argh! No!" Roshi struggled, but couldn't break that iron grip.

"Rock, paper, scissors?" Goku tried again, feebly.

"She's all yours, Dad." Piccolo and Vegeta nodded their assent.

Goku stared a moment longer. "Nah," he said finally. "Let's move on to Norway."

Vegeta laughed. "Sometimes you're more Saiyan than others. Let's go."

As Ursula carried Roshi off backstage, the rest of the group entered the next country.