Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Kaioshin Saga: Story 1: Silver Wishes ❯ Chapter 11: Reflections ( Chapter 11 )

Silver Wishes

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or any of the Dragon Ball Z characters. They are owned by those who own them. I do, however, own the original characters (if any) and the fic all of this is in. That is all.

Author Note: If anyone has read the sequels to this (A Truth Untold I & II), then you know that they contain Shoonen-ai. Although this chapter won't contain any direct relationship-type things (i.e. kissing, etc), it will contain the same feelings in it. So, remember: don't like it, don't read it. ^_^ Have fun!!!!

Chapter Eleven: Reflections

Two Weeks later

I don't remember ever being so torn between a simply duty to a person and a ever-growing love to that certain person. In fact, the only time I can remember feeling love towards anyone is the kind of love that is shared between family. I had long since lost my own family in a war that shouldn't have been happening and there were few others that I could ever put any kind of love towards. Oh, the West Kaioshin would be perfect for any man in the universe, but she could be too flirty towards anyone and that is what probably turned me off from her. But, my love was directed towards someone else in the Kaioshin order. A love towards the one person I was sworn to protect.

I stood at the window in the library of the East Kaioshin's palace, my hands clasped tightly behind my back. My face was serious like it had always been for many years now, no emotions on it whatsoever. I had learned how to hide my emotions well even more then I had in the past, my training as a bodyguard allowing me to do so. Besides, everything that I lived for was either gone or ignored the signs of love that I showed to them. Even the Kaioshin that I protected ignored the simple looks I gave him constantly along with the smiles that I know he could at least give back to me.

I wanted so desperately to tell him how I felt towards him, but every time I would bring up the subject of love, he would talk about the one that he truly loved. The one that he went to every chance that he could. The one that he left on that planet on the far reaches of the East Quadrant. I despised her so deeply for taking the one that I had begun to have feelings for, yet I couldn't show that hatred towards her or my hurt towards him. Neither would understand that simple emotion that I had for him.

"Kibito?" The East Kaioshin called out from the entrance to the library, his voice soft and full of worry. I didn't bother to turn around to face him as a scowled deepened on my face. I didn't want to look at the same person that had ignored my heart and my love for all these years we had been together. I knew he probably didn't share the same feelings but at least he could show a little compassion towards me.

"Kibito," He repeated, this time a little bit closer and a little bit more stern then he had been before. I turned my head ever so slightly to the left, my eyes wandering over to where he stood with wandering eyes. I didn't let my scowl lessen when I saw him nor did it get any deeper as he took a few more steps towards me. "Why didn't you answer when I called you?"

"Sorry, sir," I mused, bowing my head down in mock respect, casting a small smile towards him. "I was deep in thought and didn't hear you."

"Hmpf. A little bit of humor I would normally accept, but that isn't the case at the moment," He growled, narrowing his ebony eyes at me at that moment. My smile faded as all seriousness came back onto my face, my eyes dropping down towards the ground. "There are some more important things I need to say."

"Yes sir. Whatever you need to tell me, I will listen."

"First of all, there is a slight problem with my, ah, current relationship," The Kaioshin mused, his own eyes darting away from me. I glanced up at him, a hopeful smile on my lips. Perhaps the Dai had finally found out about the love that the East Kaioshin was sharing with a mortal woman of the Lesser Realm, but that was just a hopeful dream. Or, maybe something else had happened to her or between them that caused this relationship to go down hill.

"What kind of problem?"

"I think that the Dai may already have an idea as to what is going on between the two of us. He may be kind and understanding, but he isn't stupid. I don't want to have to get on his bad side if he ever had one. Besides, I'd hate to see what his reaction would be if he ever did find out."

The first sentence that my charge had spoken nearly sent me into a state of pure bliss, yet I remained calm as anything on the outside. Inside, however, I was jumping up and down like a child that had just received a present on his birthday. I was pleased to know that something wasn't going to go right for a change and maybe I would be able to have that chance with him. Anything was possible now that the Dai was beginning to suspect something was amiss.

"But, that comes my second point that I have to make," The East Kaioshin said in an even softer tone of voice that he had used just a few moments earlier. I stared at him hard, the happiness that had been inside of me had begun to fade as he looked back at me just as hard. "I think she may be pregnant."

"What?" I asked, trying my best to hide a certain disappointment on my face. I attempted to show some surprise instead of that disappointment, but that was just as hard as to hide something from him as it was to show it.

"Yes, that was my exact thought when she told me. I hope that it is something else besides that, but I can't be sure until she gets herself checked out. It might be a few days or a few weeks until she tells me what exactly is going on, so can you please not say anything to the Dai until we know for sure as to what is going to happen?" He looked at me pleadingly like a child that wanted some kind of after dinner treat that his or her parents wouldn't give to that child. I bit my lower lip, my eyes wandering back up to the window that overlooked the vast meadows of Kaioshin-Kai. I should tell the Dai anyways in spite of his request not to tell him, but then again, the East Kaioshin was the one that took me in even after he defied the Dai so many times before, I thought to myself, torn once again between my love for him and the duty I had to perform.

"I won't say anything," I promised dryly, swearing something under my breath so that he wouldn't hear me. At least, hopefully he didn't hear me mutter those words that I knew he would get angry over.

"Thank you," He said, nodding quickly with a hint of happiness in his voice. "You don't know how much that means to me."

"You are welcome," I told him as the Kaioshin turned around and walked swiftly out of the room. For hurting me once again, I added silently to myself as I continued to stare out of the window, feeling sorry for the things I never got a chance to say.

****

A couple of days had past and still there was no word from the woman that stole my Kaioshin away from me. After dinner that night, I sulked up into my room even if the night was warm and perfectly clear of any clouds. Before, we would sit out underneath the sky and see how many different images we could make out of the stars. If I was really lucky, the Kaioshin would put his head in my lap like he was taunting me, a light smile on his lips as he pointed up towards the Heavens above. Those few precious moments would last for the rest of my life even if they were just for a few moments at a time. Those were the only times I felt like I had no care in the universe and everything that was on my mind would float away into nothingness. Now there was nothing for me to remise upon as those moments were now broken away.

I took in a deep breath, laying on my stomach on the bed that I had slept on for countless years now. I put my arms underneath my chin, my eyes closing tightly to starve off any tears that might come streaming out of my eyes. I was tired of trying to show any emotions towards anyone or anything since it was always me that would get pushed away from that thing or person. It was hard enough as it was to watch the one that I love, love someone else.

There were times that it seemed like everyone was against me, pushing me back to the point where I had been before but I had always gone up against the wind. There were even more times that I wished that I could crawl underneath a rock and die so no one would ever have to worry about me again but I kept my back straight and my head up high. I couldn't allow anyone to see the hurt that was building up inside of me even if I wanted to show them it so badly. There had to be someone out there that would be right for me no matter who that person was.

A knock came at the door, causing me to snap open my eyes as I rolled over onto my back. I sat up somewhat quickly, unsure as to allow the person that was on the other side of the door in. I half figured it was the East Kaioshin with some more news that I didn't want to hear but pretended to really want to listen. The knock cam again, which made me growl slightly at it as I moved my body to the edge of the bed and placed my feet to the carpet below.

"Come in," I grumbled, gripping the edge of the bed so I wouldn't lash out at whoever was there. A moment came and went before the door opened and the East Kaioshin stepped in. I had hoped that it was one of the other Kaioshins with news of something else in the universe or someone that I hadn't seen before, but it had to be my charge. Yet, by the way worry and happiness circled on his face, I knew he had something to say about what was going on. I already knew what it was before he said anything yet I wanted to hear it anyways. Maybe I would be wrong about my assumption then again I probably wasn't.

"I suppose you already know what is going on, correct?" He said in an almost deadpan tone like he really didn't care what my response to him was. Before I could answer the question, he moved on with his words quickly. "I was right about it. She is pregnant. With twins."

"Twins?" I inquired with a little bit of curiosity. I knew what twins were, but I just wanted to make sure that I had heard him correctly.

"Yes," The Kaioshin mused, turning his gaze away from me as he shut the door behind him. He then leaned his back onto it, the happiness part fading entirely from his face as he took in a deep breath. "I should be happy about this, but I can't be. It might mean the end of my days as a Kaioshin."

"What do you want?" I asked suddenly, the question coming out of my lips so fast that even I couldn't stop them from coming out. He looked up at me with surprise, which was the same feeling I felt at that moment.

"What do I want?" He asked, blinking his eyes as he stared off into nothing. "I....I....don't know. I mean, I want to.....but then again.....the Kaioshins......"

"Go then. I am sure that the Dai can......"

"No, I won't step down from my position," He said bitterly, narrowing his eyes at me. "I'll just have to explain it to her that my job comes first and that......"

"No, you will NOT tell her such a thing," I hissed at him, standing up quickly from my bed. I stared at him, anger boiling up inside of me. If there was one thing that I could not stand, it was to see someone that I love be hurt and I wasn't about to allow him to throw away something that he cherished even if I didn't like it.

"Excuse me?"

"Don't throw away your love for her just because you are a Kaioshin. I am sure that the Dai will understand this if you tell him."

"I can't just throw away my duties that I have to this universe," He responded coolly. "My duties first then love. I shouldn't have gotten involved with anyone. It wasn't my place to do anything."

"Listen to yourself. You are starting to sound like me," I retorted, crossing my arms over my chest. "If there is anyone that could really understand, it will be the Dai. Just explain it to him and everything will be fine."

"I....I am scared to tell him this," The Kaioshin whispered, turning his head away from me so that I wouldn't see him cry. In all of the years that I had been his assistant, I have never recalled him ever shed a tear for himself. It had always been for someone else so that they wouldn't have to cry during the times of pain and need. Perhaps everything was changing yet again in my life and I had to accept it. "I have always done things wrong in his eyes and this is something that will just be added to it."

"The Dai just sees things differently then you do. It doesn't make you wrong or him right. Everyone is different in their own special way and no one can take that away from them."

"But, what if...."

"No what ifs," I countered quickly before he could say anything else. "Doesn't the Dai always seem to accept the things the other Kaioshins do in their Quadrants? Doesn't he stay out of those things even if he knows he should?"

"Yes, he does."

"Okay then."

"You know what, Kibito?" He asked, wiping any tears off of his cheeks as he looked up at me. I tilted my head to the side, a small smile coming to my lips as the Kaioshin took several steps towards me. "You always seem to know what to say at times like this. Why is that?"

"I suppose because I lived through enough to know that there is always something good that comes out of the bad things," I answered as truthfully as I possibly could.

"Yes, that is true. Thank you, Kibito," He said, returning the same smile before turning around towards the door as he placed a hand upon the doorknob. As he opened the door, I felt a nagging feeling inside of my stomach that wouldn't leave me alone. I guessed it was because I actually wanted him to do more then just confide in me the things that he was scared of doing. Maybe he was doing the same thing that I did when I was a child who grew up too fast.

I watched leave the room, kicking myself for not telling him how I felt when I had the chance to.

****

We stood there, our hearts beating faster then any other time that we had faced things that would change our lives. A certain feeling of nervousness was in the air, hanging over us like a storm cloud that was waiting to burst with rain. Fear went through our veins, mixing with our already tainted blood, creating a sinking feeling in our stomachs that neither one of us could get rid of. We were scared, I'll admit that but each for different reasons. For him, it might be a life-changing order that he would either lose his love or his position as a God. Which ever would be taken away from him would decide his fate. For me, I would lose my own love either way the wind moved.

At this point, I didn't care anymore. For me to watch my love not even notice the longing looks that I had given him was to feel no warmth from the sun. I was sure that he had to know something that was beginning to form between us even when I was still young. There had to be. Two people that had become close over the years could not ignore the feelings that would build up between them and not act on them. I had to keep my emotions in check because I couldn't play on them since it was my duty to keep him protected even if it meant I had to protect him from myself.

"Where is he, damn it?" The East Kaioshin whispered to me, his eyes darting around quickly. We stood inside the Dai Kaioshin's palace, our backs turned towards the arch that was the doorway into the beautiful Kaioshin-Kai. We hadn't been standing there for more than an hour, waiting for the Dai himself to come down. I figured the elder Kaioshin already knew what was going on and was just making us wait until the last possible moment. It was eating away at my charge for he was becoming more impatient with waiting and more nervous then before.

"Be patient," I commented, echoing the same words that he had uttered every time I wanted something to happen as quickly as possible. "He will be here when he gets here."

"I am tired of waiting. Besides, this is nagging at me too much for me not to say anything."

"Are you sure he doesn't already know what is going on? You said it yourself that he wasn't....."

"Kibito, hush! The Dai has ways of hearing things around the planet," The Kaioshin growled, glaring up at me with his coal-black eyes. I bit my lower lip to keep from lashing back out towards him, my gaze moving away from him. "Out of all the bodyguards that I have either had or have known, you are the only one that doesn't know when to shut up when need be. Whenever I need you to say something, you just stand there with your mouth closed. Why is that?"

"Maybe it is because he knows that you'll just snap at him when he does try to say something," A high commanding voice answered before I could even open my mouth to say something. The two of us moved our eyes forwards as the Dai Kaioshin walked from the stairway that went up towards the other floors of his palace, his eyes moving from the East Kaioshin to me and then back again at the other Kaioshin. He stopped a foot or so away from us, placing his arms behind him as he took in a deep breath.

"Sir, there is something that I must tell you," The East Kaioshin said, bowing ever so slightly. "I...."

"I already know," The Dai said, interrupting him before he could say a word. "Don't you think that I would notice you running off without your bodyguard even after I have warned you about that time after time? I just don't understand why you would want to throw all of this away for love although that emotion is something we must face every day of our lives."

"She doesn't even know I am a Kaioshin in the first place. I have never uttered anything about Kaioshin-Kai or any of the other Kaioshins, so we are not in trouble."

"You know as well as the other Kaioshins that there is a high concentration of Majin interference in that area and I fear that something might happen. That planet has caught the Majins eyes and I fear that something will happen at any given moment. You know that if any one of the Kaioshin's gets killed that the seal that we placed on this planet will cease to exist, allowing the Majins to come back onto this planet any time they chose to."

"Yes, but they aren't looking for Kibito anymore! I am sure that by now they have completely forgotten about him."

"It is not Kibito I am worried about anymore. He is older now and has gained a lot of power since he was a child so he is able to take care of himself now. However, Majins have ways of holding grudges against people and I am just afraid that something might happen to you to make us have to fight them again," The Dai said, turning around before walking back towards the staircase. "If that is all, then you must chose between love and your duty. I suggest that you chose well because once you have, you can never get back what you lost."

"But....but....what about my unborn children?" The East Kaioshin stuttered out, moving his hands around like he was trying to comprehend this. The elder Kaioshin stopped walking, keeping his back towards us as he stood there without word. I could almost see the surprised and horrified expression that might be on his face and I could understand those emotions completely.

"What did you say?" The Dai whispered, turning around to face us once again. He then walked up to the East Kaioshin, his face just barely an inch away from the other deity's. "I hope it was just my hearing that made me think you said that."

"It isn't your hearing, sir. I...I...I....." He stammered again before his voice trailed off completely. For the first time and quite possibly the last as well, I saw anger on the Dai Kaioshin's face as he dropped his hands by his side. He clenched his fist together, quite possibly to contain that anger from being unleashed.

"If it is one thing to go behind my back it is another to....to...." The Dai furrowed, unable to finish his sentence. At this point, I started to back up, knowing that something was going to happen and it was going to happen soon.

"Sir, I am sorry," The East Kaioshin said in a small voice, hanging his head down towards the floor. "It was something that I couldn't control at that time."

"Sorry isn't good enough now! You know very well that Kaioshins and the Kaios must keep their being unknown to any living life forms for their protection and the universe's protection. If anyone who has the power to track you from which ever planet you are coming from to Kaioshin-Kai......well that is something I don't want to have to worry about again," The Dai growled. "In fact, I won't have to anymore because from this moment on you are no longer a part of the Kaioshin order. You have until sunset to get off of Kaioshin-Kai before I find a way to do so."

"But, sir....." The East Kaioshin started, bringing his head up just as the Dai turned around and stormed out of the entrance to his palace. I stared after the elder Kaioshin, just as surprised as my charge was.

"Sir, do you want me to get anything ready for your leave?" I asked solemnly as I placed my hands behind my back, my voice bland and seemingly uncaring. The Kaioshin glared up at me with narrowed eyes, his own anger flowing on his face.

"I wouldn't want to assume that you had anything to do with his decision," He hissed, turning around so that he could walk out of the palace for what might be the last time.

"No, sir. It was all your doing. I am just a bodyguard without anyone to protect anymore," I answered fully, following him out of the palace.

"It's not over yet. I'll find a way to get it back. Just you watch," He promised, determination dripping from his voice. I didn't know how right he was going to be.

To Be Continued.....