Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Vegeta's Christmas Carol ❯ O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree ( Chapter 6 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Vegeta's Christmas Carol

by Orchideater

Rated: R

Warnings: Humor yaoi, Gk/V, Christmas cheer, grinchiness, OOCness, nudity, innuendo, a bit of Vegeta torture (the fun kind, not the bdsm kind), and bizarre underwear.

Disclaimer: DBZ and all DBZ characters property of Akira Toriyama and official licensees

Chapter 6 warnings: Insanity and obscene underwear.

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Chapter 6: O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

Vegeta squinted and strained to see in the oppressive gloom. "Who is that? What do you think you're doing in my room?" he asked the mysterious visitor, growing more nervous by the second.

The figure responded with a rich, merry laugh, and spoke with a thick foreign accent. "I just came to wish you a Merry Christmas, Vegeta-san."

The fireplace suddenly flared to life (since when did his room have a fireplace?) and cast an amber light flickering over the room. Vegeta could see the man more clearly now.

He lounged casually in the chair, legs crossed and arms resting on the sides, a glass of champagne in his hand. What had first appeared to be a suit was actually more like a thigh-length red bathrobe with white fur trim. Santa wore no undershirt and had decided to go pantsless that night.

Vegeta raised an eyebrow at the risqué attire. "So, who are you? Answer me."

"Can't you tell? My costume is not that impressive."

"Uh..." The cap was casting shadows over his face. "Give me a hint?"

"Another time, mon ami. I have no patience for the games tonight." He swiped off the beard and hat, offering him a dazzling debonair grin.

"Kakarot!"

"The one and only." Goku wore his ssj form, a sly, self-satisfied look on his face.

"I thought you went home."

"I could not go! Even the weather itself has decreed that I am to stay the night. How could I resist what fate has clearly written upon the scroll of destiny?"

"Uh... yeah. Are you all right? I think you've had way too much booze."

"My friend, I have never felt more vigorous and full of health. I could spar all the night long."

Vegeta quirked a cautious smile. Apparantly the guests had gotten snowed in, and Kakarot was still drunk. Maybe this wasn't a dream after all. "Kakarot, listen. I have a lot to tell you, but it will have to wait until after I speak to the woman. It's very important, so don't leave the house, understand?"

Goku took a delicate sip of his champagne. "Good prince, I live only to serve you."

"Oh! Well." Vegeta's insides flushed with heat at the comment. "Th-That's good to hear."

"This night will be an eve to remember. You will think of it all your days, chéri."

Vegeta squirmed and sweated, growing suspicious again. Kakarot already seemed to think they had a romantic relationship. "Why are you talking like that?"

Kakarot ignored the question and held his glass up for observation, pretending to be extremely interested in the rising bubbles. "Would you care for some Blanc de Noirs, my love? Its effervescent warmth will relax your tense muscles and take away your cares, so our time together shall be nothing but pleasure." He sipped the drink again.

"Y-You're acting... rather aggressive. I haven't even told you how I feel yet."

"How much would you like, belle amour? A half glass or a full glass?"

"I don't want any! Now, look, Kakarot, I want you-"

"Yes, I know you do."

"But it has to wait until Christmas night, okay? Not now," he finished, annoyed at Kakarot's sudden inexplicable arrogance.

"Oh, my little one, you need not fear! I will be as gentle as the summer's breeze with you."

"Wh-What?! Hold on a minute, who said anything about you being gentle with me?"

"Santa brings special rewards for good boys like you, Vegeta. Are you ready to have your Christmas stocking filled?"

"Ahhhh! No it's not, and enough with the stocking joke, it's been done dozens of times before and it's not funny anymore!"

"I beg to differ, my sweet, savory chunk of divinity. Stocking innuendo is always a classic. Besides, I thought you enjoyed a good yule log."

He threw the glass into the fire with a crash, briefly causing it to belch flames. "Vegeta-sama! I can wait no longer. The passion inside me overtakes all reason and restraint!"

He leapt to his feet and stalked the man on the bed like a lion hunting his prey. Meanwhile, Vegeta had to call on every inner resource in his power just to keep his head. "N-Now, Kakarot, stay right there. A kiss would be alright, but not- waah!!"

Kakarot phased out and then appeared on top of him on all fours. A rejuvinated tail lashed behind him, and the rustling under the bedsheets told Vegeta his tail was back as well.

"My sweet prince! Our love is written in the stars. The very gods themselves will tell stories of its legendary greatness. Feel the fire in my breast- it burns for you, only you! Allow me to stoke its flames with the perfection of your body."

"No! Kakarot, you- I-I can't be on bottom. I'll freak out! I've had bad experiences while I served under Frieza. It's ruined the position for me. I have too many painful memories," he said firmly, fully expecting Goku to accept this and apologize.

"Ohh, my poor bruised little flower. Your pain is my own, chéri! Let me purge these terrible memories from your mind. They will be washed away amidst the crashing waves of pleasure, amidst the great thundering majesty of our passion."

"Gah! Kakarot, I can't do uke! It's just one of my 'things'."

"Did it never occur to you that I might desire the top position also?"

"Well... no!" he sputtered, and Kakarot frowned. "You're so easy-going, so accommodating and eager to make people happy. I thought you'd be my uke if I asked."

"I am all these things, indeed. But you're also forgetting how competitive I am. I might allow you to lead the way at first, but did you really think I'd just lay there permanently and never want to try it out for myself, to give you the same sort of pleasure you gave me? Playing the 'psychological damage' card to hog top position is not fair, Vegeta. Fears must be conquered. Now, relax, my pet. I will make you feel such ecstasy that all thought of positions will flee from your mind."

"Yaaaahhhhh!!!" Vegeta tore off the bed in a blast of energy and streaked out the door.

Kakarot shrugged, unfazed. "My little love, he is so shy. He wants to play hard-to-get."

He floated off after Vegeta on his back, hands behind his head, kicking his feet lazily as though doing the backstroke. "Prepare yourself, mon amour, I am coming to get you," he sang.

Vegeta raced through the halls at top speed and then scrambled into the bathroom to hide. Damn! he thought, his heart pounding out of his chest. All his fantasies had always featured Kakarot on bottom. He'd never considered that Kakarot's fantasies might be just the opposite. What had he gotten himself into?

"Ah, you want to make love in the shower," said a voice beside him, a pair of muscular arms trapping him as he turned. "Excellent choice. My prince has such playful and practical tastes."

Seconds later the door had a smoking, Vegeta-shaped hole in it.

"He is such a tease. I am not deterred so easily, mon petit chéri," he called after the vanished prince. "I will forge onward like the unstoppable soldier of love!"

"Why is Kakarot acting like a sex maniac?!" Vegeta gasped. He tore down the hall but stopped and backtracked to look at himself in the full-length hall mirror. Why did he have a white stripe going down his back?

Ah, god! Trunks' cartoons! They had warped his mind, and now he was dreaming of Kakarot as that smug horny skunk. Oh, no, that meant he wouldn't stop at anything...

Vegeta turned around to flee but slammed right into a super-saiyan chest. Kakarot grabbed him and dipped him.

"My delicate little junebug. Come with me to the Casbah! Our love will shine as a beacon of hope for all lovers of the world," he crooned, stroking Vegeta's hair. "Our destiny calls. Do not keep it waiting! Ah, my beautiful one, ahhh, ah-hhhh-"

"AHHH!" Vegeta knocked him over and fled downstairs to the living room. He came to a screeching halt, panting heavily, and chastised himself for running. He was being ridiculous.

Then it didn't seem so ridiculous when Kakarot showed up a second later. He stopped about eight feet away, though, and clasped his hands in delight. "Ah, you want to love in front of the Christmas tree! So charming, so romantic, ma belle."

Vegeta shook a disciplinary finger at him. "Kakarot, I demand that you cease and desist right now. You are being inconsiderate, boorish, and disrespectful, and- are you listening to me?"

Kakarot was too busy untying his belt. "You are so cruel, my buttercup. Have pity upon your wretched subject! You must at least allow me to give you your Christmas gift."

He threw off the robe with the enthusiasm of a Vegas stripper, and Vegeta twitched spastically. Not the underwear!

Brightly colored in bold Christmas hues, the bottom part had a print of two strategically placed ball ornaments that both read, of course, "Jingle Balls," and sewn to the base of each was a tiny bell; above sat a forest green schlongwarmer in the shape of an evergreen. "Would you like to help raise the Christmas tree, Vegeta? It's very tall and full."

"Urgh. I don't know whether to be aroused or ill."

"Ah, well," he said flippantly. "Assistance is welcome, but not necessary. I can put it up just by thinking of that perfect, tight, round little derrière of yours, your skin like crème caramel..."

His demeanor turned far more predatory, and he began backing Vegeta up against the real tree.

"Kakarot, now, I'm warning you. This may be just a dream, but I still-"

Kakarot phased out, phased back in right in front of him and held him in a vice grip embrace, while Vegeta pushed against him with all his might.

"Do not deny me, love. Kiss me and say you'll never go. Muuuu..." He tried to reach Vegeta with extended lips.

"KAKAROT!!"

He loosened the grip some. "I thought you wanted me, mon ami."

"I do, but I want to be the one in charge!"

"We must come to a compromise, then. Seme Kakarot will not go away."

"Okay. Okay, look. Let me be on top the first few times so I can get comfortable and then I'll... I'll let you... help me overcome my phobia. J-Just take it easy, okay? Then we can share and go back and forth. Deal?"

Kakarot stepped back and shook his hand. "It's a deal." Those arms curled around him again. "Now at least let me have a kiss, beloved. I have worked so hard for you!"

Vegeta chuckled, feeling much more relaxed now. "Heh. That, I can welcome." He leaned up and two hot mouths met in a fiery kiss. Eyes closed as sensation took over.

"Mmmmm..."

"Mmmmmm..."

"Mmmmmm..."

"Mrr-m mghh! Mmph!"

Vegeta felt hands pushing at his face. He let go of the lips with an audible 'pop' and opened his eyes.

Trunks was sitting on his chest scrubbing at his mouth with his arm, while Goten stood in the doorway rolling with laughter.

"Blegh! Dad, you kissed me!"

"Er, s-sorry about that, brat. I thought you were-"

He looked around at the early morning light streaming through the windows. The dream was over, finally over. It was morning at last!

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A/N Any guy who thinks it's a good idea to give lingerie for Xmas should get a pair of those underwear. Nobody give me grief about that French! I just got bits and pieces from "Learn French" websites. ;)