Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Yamcha Attacks! ❯ Yamcha Defeated! ( Chapter 2 )

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Independence Day, I also don't own Dragon Ball Z, I am going to own this kick ass collectors edition Goku doll soon though, and after the Goku doll will come Vegeta and Gohan…Victory is mine!

A/N - If you want the story to be really funny, try to get the Yamcha's voices to have that gay lisp when you read their lines. Oh yeah, I should just say that I happen to Love Piccolo and Krillen, don't diss my story or me just because I made them into Yamcha's.

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"What do you mean you know a way to stop the Yamcha's?" Goku asked, as he stared fearfully at the gathering cloud of Yamcha's swarming towards them.

"It just occurred to me that the Yamcha's are so idiotic that they must have a leader on their banana ship in space. A Queen Yamcha if you will." Bulma's face darkened, "And judging by the Yamcha's enthusiasm to catch you Vegeta I'd say that their queen has a chosen a new mate." Bulma looked meaningfully at Vegeta.

Goku shook his head in pity, Chichi smothered a laugh and Vegeta paled while Trunks just moaned and shivered again.

The Yamcha's drew closer; one of them, being more adventurous flew faster and stopped a few yards form them, slobbering at the site of Vegeta. This particular Yamcha was wearing a black vinyl mini skirt with fish net stockings and a wearing a bright pink boob tube with oranges shoved down it to give his chest a little more bust.

Bulma, Chichi, Goku and Vegeta began to slowly back away as they recognised this particular Yamcha as Piccolo, or rather what used to be piccolo.

"Run, run for your lives!" Goku yelped, the four friends taking off like a bat out of hell for Capsule Corporation.

Behind them Piccolo-Yamcha gave a girlish squeal and took off after them, "Veeeeegeeeeeetaaaaaaa!" It called after them, "Resistance is useless Vegeta!"

Vegeta's eyes widened and he speeded up until he was flying faster then Goku, fear giving him super saiyan strength.

"Vegeta? Vegeta? You can slow down now…we're at Capsule Corp. Vegeta if you don't stop right this minute…I'll…. I'll…Stop right now or you get no sex for a week!" Bulma yelled as Vegeta flew straight over Capsule Corp.

Vegeta stopped midair, only the thought of never having sex being powerful enough to stop him.

"I knew you'd stop at that!" Bulma murmured as Goku and Chichi caught up,

"So what do you need to do Bulma?"

"I have the old space ship, the one that you use to train in Vegeta and we're gonna fly that thing to the banana ship and take out the queen. That will disorientate the drone Yamcha's below and with a little luck they'll either die or turn back into civilized Human beings…and Nameks…and demi Saiyans…and three eyed freaks…and scary little mime things." Bulma tossed her hair.

"Wow Bulma, that's a pretty good plan." Goku said as he set Chichi down.

"Well I'm not just a pretty face you know!" Bulma grinned.

"Yeah, I noticed." Goku muttered under his breath.

"Goku!" Chichi punched her sheepish husband and then marched him onto the space ship.

Bulma fastened Trunks into a chair and gave him a kiss, "you're so brave Trunks!"

Trunks merely moaned an shivered some more.

"Here we go." Vegeta said to know one at all as she ships door closed and they lifted off…

ON THE BANANA SHIP

"Sire!" Squealed one of the Yamcha drones, "An unidentified ship just docked with us! What do we do? What do we do?" The Yamcha began to hop from one foot to the other in a nervous schoolgirl way, twirling it's black hair around a finger.

"Nothing, let them come, they may be entertaining. Heaven knows I need some more entertainment. This guy's getting a little old." Queen Yamcha motioned for Master Roshi to be taken away midway through a strip, "Yes, let them come." A purple tongue flicked out in anticipation.

SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THE DOCKING BAY AND THE THRONE ROOM

"Now everybody stay quiet. The smallest noise could alert them to our presence." Vegeta whispered.

Bulma knocked a stack of empty paint cans over and shrugged, "Sorry."

The Yamcha's though, being as brainless and stupid as they are, continued to work obliviously around them.

"We got lucky that time but we may not be so…" Vegeta was interrupted mid-sentence…

"Boy, are you a cutie!"

Corny Porn music plays form nowhere, 'Bow Bow Chicca Chicca Bow Bow''

"No it can't be!" Goku whispered as he slowly turned around to face that all too familiar voice,

"Krillen! Nooooooo!" Goku howled in pain as he saw his best friend dressed in a tight short purple satin dress with knee high black boots and a black boa around his neck.

"Oh stop your squealing you silly thing! I'm not Krillen, I'm Yamcha! I'm super happy. Say why don't you and I go and play by ourselves for a while?" Krillen put his hands on his hips and gave a suggestive wiggle, Goku promptly hid behind his wife, while Vegeta backed away shaking, Chichi and Bulma stared spell bound, Trunks had curled up into a protective ball and was rocking slowly, still moaning and shivering.

Finally Chichi spoke…

"Isn't that one of my t-shirts you're wearing?"

Krillen gasped and hugged his 'dress' protectively. "This is my dress! I didn't steal it! I found it and took it because it was just my size! And it is a dress!!!!!! Not a T-shirt." Krillen turned and began to walk away, "If you ever change your mind big boy just give me a call." Krillen blew Goku a kiss and sauntered off.

"That is by far the most disturbing thing that I have ever seen." Vegeta said in the silence.

"Worse then three Yamcha's stripping off in our house, in front of our child and dressing in my clothes?" Bulma asked, unable to take her eyes of Krillen.

"This was worse."

"I agree." Bulma picked Trunks up; Vegeta took one look at his traumatised son and walked over to him.

"Trunks! Listen to me! You are a man and you're going to screw hundreds of woman in your lifetime, pay no attention to the ignorance of the Krillen thing, it isn't the real Krillen. It was just a Pretend Krillen. You're a man, understand? A man!" Vegeta gave Trunks a shake.

"Yes, dad." Trunks looked up and hesitantly smirked, "Can I kill some Yamcha's later?

"That's my boy! You can kill as many as you like!" Vegeta handed Trunks back to Bulma.

"Lets get moving; we have to kill it soon. I can't take much more of this madness."

IN THE THRONE ROOM

The Queen Yamcha watched as the five Z members came walking in and giggled when they stopped and stared I shock and the queen in all her glory.

"Welcome, especially to you Vegeta." The Queen gave a smile and stood up, licking her/his vile lips.

"Who are you?" Bulma asked, as she stared up at the Yamcha queen, "What do you want with Vegeta? He's my mate and I wont let you take him away form me!"

"Oh you silly little girl, I don't want Vegeta for my mate, I want him to take over the throne." The Queen Yamcha turned to face Vegeta, "You knew this day would come Vegeta, why do you still fight it?"

"Who is she Vegeta?" Goku asked,

"She's the thing that killed my father! It wasn't really Frieza, I lied…it was all lies! That thing killed my father!" Vegeta gave a scream of rage and pain.

"You have it all wrong Vegeta." The giant ugly Yamcha said,

"No! Nappa told me everything!" Vegeta shook his head as the Queen Yamcha crept closer,

"Vegeta…I am your father!"

"What!" Yelled Chichi,

"What! Yelled Goku,

"What!" Yelled Bulma,

"I like pineapples!" Yelled Trunks,

"Nooooooooooo!" Screamed Vegeta as a Ki ball began to form between his hands, "I don't believe you!" Vegeta raised the ki ball.

"Vegeta? What are you doing? You wouldn't kill you own father would you?" The Queen Yamcha began to back away, holding out a hand to Vegeta.

"You're not my father!" Vegeta hurled the ki ball at it, laughing as the Queen Yamcha began to burn, screaming as it died.

Finally it was reduced to a pile of ash, "Do you think it was telling the truth?" Goku asked Vegeta gently,

Vegeta growled, "No, it was lying, it was just a trick to get me to stay with it." Vegeta shivered, "Its finally over, the nightmare is finally over."

MEANWHILE, BACK ON EARTH…

"What happened? Where am I? Aaaaaaaaaaah!" Piccolo sat up and looked down at himself, "Nooooooooooo!"

THE END…we hope.

A/N - I hoped that this fic kept you all amused…its kind of old but I like it. There used to be a third chapter but it was one of the few files I couldn't get off my old computer after it crashed. Please review and tell me what you think!