Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ You Wouldn't Believe He Wasn't On Drugs ❯ Fun Fairs Are Problematic ( Chapter 1 )

You Wouldn't Believe He Wasn't On Drugs

It had started out like just a normal day. You know, wake up, listen to radio about android attacks while eating breakfast, then listen to Bulma gibbering about her 'Time Machine', then listen to Trunks whine and whine and whine. Yes, that was how it started every day, except today...

"But Goh--" Suddenly, there was huge explosion in the nearby city.

Gohan rolled his eyes. Great. Another breakfast ruined by the metallic gits. Then again, lots of meals were ruined that way.

Lucky for Trunks that the explosion happened just before Gohan decided that wringing his neck would be a good idea.

But, as always, with the luck come the unlucky. And this went to Gohan. "Awwwww! Gohan! I wanna come! Please PLEASE let me come!" Trunks pleaded in that disgustingly annoying voice.

At that moment it time, Gohan would have smashed his own face into his cereal bowl if it meant that Trunks would shut up.

"No Trunks' you can't. Just think what your mum would do to me if you died."

So that's what Trunks did. He thought for a second. Then decided that: "Would

being crucified really be *that* bad?"

Gohan tried to think of a way out of this.... Suddenly, he had a brilliant idea to get Trunks to stay!

"Okay! You can come with me." Trunks' yells for joy made Gohan want to willingly throw himself into a pit full of bloodsucking cockroaches. "But on one condition. You have to do 10,000 press-ups first." Gohan was sure that by the time Trunks had completed these, he would be done with the Androids.

"But Gohan!" Trunks started again. Inwardly, Gohan flinched, but on the outside he kept a straight face. "That'll take too long!!" Gohan's hands clutched the fabric of his gi which covered his thighs. "I want to go NOW!!"

Gritting his teeth, Gohan tried to smile nicely. "Come on! Hurry up! I'm going to have a shower!" And with that Gohan walked off.

"But Gohan!" he whined again, "I want to go! I bet I can beat them without super Saiyan! I'm strong!" Gohan swore that Trunks would have followed him into the bathroom, had he not locked the door. Trunks pounded on it. "I can help!"

Behind the locked door, Gohan was gripping his hair, trying to pull it out. This kid was too much! Why couldn't he just "GO AWAY!!!". Instantly, Gohan slapped a hand over his mouth. Why'd he say that? Gohan shrugged and walked over to the window, opening it, and flying off.

He doubted that Trunks would even realize that he had left the bathroom, and was probably still pounding on the door and yelling. Now was the perfect time to go and face the androids without the interruptions of Trunks. He remembered the good old days, when he could get beaten up without the purple haired kid's interruptions.

"Gohan!? GOHAN!!! Let me in or I'm gonna go by myself!" Trunks threatened. He waited a few minutes, but Gohan ever answered. "FINE!" He screamed at the locked door. "I'm leaving!" And he did. Meanwhile, five minutes after he started flying, Gohan realized that he really did need to use the bathroom.

He shrugged. "I'm sure the androids will wait."

He dropped down to the nice, lush piece of woodland that was just below him. Standing behind a tree, he unzipped his fly, and whistled a merry tune as he went around his 'business'. All of a sudden, a very familiar Ki shot past above him, and he swore, wetting the tips of his boots unintentionally at the same time.

Hastily he finished peeing, he flew off after his student, while doing up his fly at the same time. (Multi-tasking. The kids got talent) "Wait! Trunks! Where're you going!"

"To fight the androids!" Trunks said bravely from up ahead.

"Oh no you don't!"

"You forgot to do all those press ups!" Gohan roared, his temper getting the most of him. Well, not his real temper, `cause his real temper would have like, destroyed something. Like Trunks. But he wasn't using his real temper, so he didn't destroy Trunks. I mean, kill Trunks. "If you can't do all those press ups in time, it just proves that you're not strong enough to fight."

Now, Gohan was a good boy. And he was talented in many things. But there was one thing he could never do. Yes, it was true. This being of perfection had a flaw, his one and only mind you, but a flaw all the same. You want to know what it is? He could never do that choppy thing to the neck, in which you would hit a particular nerve and knock the person out. But still, hoping to God that it would work he sent a chop to Trunks' neck. And to his surprise Trunks dropped out of the sky like a bag of bricks.

Now, Trunks was no being of perfection like Gohan. But he knew his shit. He knew that Gohan was never able to master that particular... choppy thing. So when Gohan aimed the blow at his neck, Trunks pretend to fall to the ground, unconscious.

Gohan then did some kind of strange snoopy dance thing in the sky... The kind of snoopy dance that showed you were really happy. And Gohan was really happy. So he did the snoopy dance. It was a good thing that he didn't lose his temper, otherwise Trunks would be dead, and he wouldn't be able to do the snoopy dance, as Bulma would kill him. So he flew on, doing the snoopy dance.

Trunks suppressed his laughter as his watch his master act like a complete idiot in the sky. Not that acting like an idiot wasn't a regular thing for Gohan. Still giggling slightly, Trunks headed off at a run to the town that was being attacked, looking up every now and then to his master still above him doing the weird dance of his.

Gohan was so wrapped up in the snoopy dance that he didn't notice that Trunks' Ki wasn't nearly as low as it should have been. But snoopy dancing takes up a lot of your attention, even if you are one of those rare males that have the ability to multi task. But he snoopy danced on, and only came to a stop when he saw several explosions in the sky.

"SHIT!" he yelled. "The carnival!!! HOW COULD THEY ATTACK A CARNIVAL!!" he screamed and flared into Super Saiyan. "THOSE HEARTLESS BASTARDS!" As he flew towards the androids, the androids, which were never blind nor deaf, saw and heard him coming.

"Stupid human." Seventeen said with a smirk. "I thought he would've given up after the last time we pummeled his ass into the ground."

Eighteen sighed. "They never learn."

"Well, he's blonde today. He gives quite the punch when he's blonde." Eighteen smirked at her brother's comment. "Are you saying that blondes are stronger than brunettes?" Seventeen was about to reply angrily, when all of a sudden, a booted foot came into contact with his head. Unfortunately, Seventeen was not one of those males that could multi task.

Dr. Gero was a genius. Smart by all accounts. You know, he was the type of guy who sat in the back of maths class and actually did maths. And all through his life he created (quoting Harry Potter) many great things, dreadful, yes, but great. But one thing he did not think of while creating the androids was multi-tasking. This made them, while on their own, vulnerable to Gohan's greatness. But while in pairs multi-tasking was not an essential. Sooo… Eighteen started kicking Gohan's ass while Seventeen regained his footing.

Gohan was lucky in the fact that he could multi task, but unfortunately, he couldn't split himself in two. So even though he could multi task, and they couldn't multi task OR snoopy dance, there was still only one of him against two of them. So he decided to kick ass back.

Unfortunately, soon they got the upper hand and he was flung into one of those boat rides. For half an hour Gohan sat in the boat, shuddering, eyes wide in shock, stunned by the horrible song they were singing. He screamed as they repeated the song for the fifty-third time. "It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all." IT WAS HORRIBLE!!

"Get me out! Get me out!! GET ME OUT!!!!" He screamed again.

Now, the androids, found this rather funny. Who wouldn't? I mean, come on! Son Gohan trapped in a boat, being forced to listen to one of the most insane songs of all time? It's funny. Anyway, they were laughing so much, they were out of breath. Do androids actually breathe? Who knows? Who cares? Anyway, they were thoroughly laughing their asses off at the no longer snoopy dancing Gohan.

When suddenly, Trunks came to save the day! "Don't worry Goh--" he stopped suddenly realizing where he was. "I love this ride!" he jumped in with a couple of the dolls and rocked from side to side with them, singing joyfully: "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL!!!!!!" As if the ride hadn't been bad enough before, Trunks' voice stood out from the rest, squeaking and squealing like a boy who was going through puberty. Gohan screamed harder and flared his Ki, burning the boat beneath him.

He was free! Now, as he was happy, the best thing right now would be to do the snoopy dance. But snoopy dances aren't very good for fighting. So he didn't do the snoopy dance, just knocked the androids heads together instead. He looked back at Trunks, annoyed. He was so sure that he got his choppy necky thingy right, for the first time ever!

Suddenly, someone grabbed him by the back of his gi top and started zooming backwards through the ride as fast as possible. It was Seventeen. It seemed that you couldn't knock out androids by knocking their heads together, they were impenetrable, they were made of metal! So the androids were still conscious.

Suddenly, Gohan was back into the daylight. He thought that Seventeen would let him down as soon as they were outside but he didn't. Instead the android threw him at the Farris wheel.

Now Gohan's head was also hard. In fact, so hard, he could break Bulma's cakes against it, and not feel a thing. But unfortunately, his head was not as hard as the android's. So when his head smashed against one of the support bars, everything went black.

When he awoke, he was at the Worlds Martial Arts Competition Area. Right straight bang in the middle. But it didn't look the same. It looked a whole lot different. Gohan sat up. The huge stands were gone, and the only thing keeping the audience away from the fight was a low brick wall.

"Who are you?" a young sounding voice said from behind him.

Turning around, he saw what was most definitely a small version of his father. Now, if he had been his counterpart from the past, then Gohan would have thought of him as his little brother Goten. But he wasn't that Gohan. If he was GT Gohan, then he would be used to seeing his father as a small child. But he wasn't GT Gohan either. He was Mirai Gohan, who didn't know about any of these things. So, seeing a small Goku freaked him out. "Who are you?"

The little kid, who was wearing an orange and blue gi, just like Gohan's father did/does, pointed proudly to his chest and said: "I'm Goku."

Gohan's eyes all but popped out of his head. He couldn't believe it! Here he was talking to his father as a child! But... How'd he get here?

"Who are you?" Goku repeated.

"G- Gohan."

"Gohan? Cooked rice? What a dumb name!" Gohan's eyes bugged, as the small Goku turned purple. People don't turn purple. Gohan began to think he was high. But high on what? We all know that Gohan is a good boy, and good boys don't get high. So he wasn't high. But people don't just turn purple every day. "Well yeah. Goku means sky. I think..." Gohan replied, eyeing his father who was now bright orange

"Wait," Goku said scratching his head as his head turned a violent shade of violet. "I had a grandpa called Gohan! Are you the same person? Just younger?"

Now, a part from the fact that Goku was purple, Gohan couldn't believe how stupid he was!

"Uhh... no." Gohan replied to his father's counterpart.

Gohan guessed that maybe he had traveled back in time. But people don't travel back in time. It just doesn't happen. No person will ever travel back in time. Ever. "I'm just Gohan." when an apple hit him in the side of the head, he realized he was still in the fighting ring, and that the crowd was getting restless due to the lack of fighting. `Cause that's what crowds do.

Gohan suddenly wondered. Who was his dad fighting anyway? He turned his head and gasped in shock. The kind of shock that really shocks you. And send weird and slightly painful prickle up and down your body. It was... it was... well no one he knew, anyway.

Whoever it was, seemed kinda weak. Gohan decided to test this, and walked up to the bloke. "Hey," he asked, "What's your power level?" Now sometimes, Gohan does take after his father. Sure, all that studying when he was young made him really clever, but that good ole' Goku gene will always shine through. Humans don't know what power levels are. Gohan forgot that. Damn that Goku gene.

"Uhh..." The fighter said. "3563215790987980563112557862323908067458?" Now, a part from the fact that that is an extremely difficult word to say, Gohan was sure that that wasn't his power level.

"Ok, cool." Gohan said nodding slightly. "Well, I should probably get out of this ring." he said an apple hit him in the face. "Yes, I should." And with that he flew out of the area and into the audience (who were looking at him weird) to watch the fight.

When he sat down, the people around him moved away. Huh. They probably thought he was an alien. Well they were right. Half right. He was half alien, and because they thought he was a proper alien, they were only half right. He didn't care anyway. But Goku wasn't having any of this. Turning the colour of bogeys, he started to yell at his future son. Well, not that he knew that of course. But he still yelled, like he was a dad.

"Why are you sitting down?" Goku yelled with all the fury he could muster. "There are no seats anywhere near this area! All that's behind that brick wall is concrete." Gohan soon realized this too, as he fell flat on his ass, bruising it thoroughly. You know, real meanly bruises that you could show your best friends. Unfortunately, his best friend was a squealing little boy who wouldn't appreciate a good bruise. Stupid Trunks.

Not that he'd want to show Trunks anything down there. He might get ideas. Feeling like an utter fool, he stood up, rubbing his ass. "Where am I supposed to sit then?" He wasn't sure if he actually wanted to sit anymore. Bruises like that where the 'Don't you dare sit down' kind.

So he stood, and watched his father beat his opponent's ass. He watched as match after match went by and suddenly they were at the finals. Goku vs. some really hot chick. Hot yes, but he didn't know where the hell he was... well, he knew WHERE he was but not... where he was... maybe it should've been when...

Suddenly, a Saiyan space ship crashed in the middle of the arena causing the hot chick and (less importantly) Goku to fly out of the space.

Gohan was REALLY confused. Now, he didn't even know when he was, since he knew who was in that ship. But it didn't make sense. What was he doing here?

A slight hissing noise sounded as the door of the space ship opened. And a figure stepped out. His body nearly totally invisible in the smoke. ...

End Chappie!

MiraiGee-Chan: Wait, you mean Seventeen can't multi-task?

Android71: Nope!

MiraiGee-Chan: so he can't? o poor poor untalented Seventeen

Android71: Yup. I don't think he can snoopy dance either.

MiraiGee-Chan: shit, that must b tough on him....

Android71: *nods* Snoopy dances are vital. If you have black hair, anyway. And not Vegeta. Vegeta can't snoopy dance.

MiraiGee-Chan: NOOOOOOOOOO!

Android71: I doubt Vegeta would want to snoopy dance.

MiraiGee-Chan: Yea… ur right…

REVIEW!!!!