Dragon Knights Fan Fiction ❯ The Lonely and Unfulfilling Life of a Spy ❯ Introducing the Minions ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

<scene setting>
A long, dark and lonely path, leading to a long, dark and lonely castle. The rain has turned the solid-seeming track to mud. Many damp grimy and uncomfortable looking trees line the mountain path.

<add sound effects>
The drizzle of rain and the lashing of thunder enthral our senses. The tingle before the lightning strikes is strangely soothing.

<add cast of characters>
The distant figure of some form of man can be seen trudging through the mire. Close up a gruesome visage can be seen attached to a body spying on him from high atop a tree. On second viewing the visage isn't that ugly, just mud covered and the rain has plastered its hair to it in a particularly unflattering way.
<run story>

The lonely figure of the man continues his sad trek up the mountain path, pulling free one mud-soaked leg after another, with an almost audible slurp. The rain has soaked his clothing through, causing it to stick to his manly figure and showing off what he's got in the best way possible. His long hair has been tied back, for once and it is no longer possible to see the colour change from black to brown.

The gruesome visage sighs longingly as it is joined by another creature in the treetops.

"Still watching the dragon?"
"Yeah. This is either the greatest job in the world or the worst torture imaginable. I mean, look at him! It's raining, he's soaked through, covered in mud and he's still drop dead gorgeous. I hear all the dragons are like this too. Imagine living in a town full of them."
"Actually, I think it's just a castle full, from what I hear."
"A castle full is still a lot of pretty, pretty people. I'd give my left arm for a roomful. I mean, judging from you, I look a mess. It's not fair."
"Not fair?"
"Come on. You seriously don't think that we stand a chance here?"
"I dunno. If we had a bit of warning, managed to get a nice warm bath, scrape off the mud, wash our hair, try on a nice dress, get a chic perfume, a few flowers....what?"
"How likely is that in this job? Who's going to give us time off to get our hair done? Not to mention the fact that it never stops bloody raining here, so in two seconds, flat, we'd look like this again."
"Still, if we managed to get indoors..."
"What? Into the damp and extremely draughty castle yonder? You know what the yokai up there are like. They'd pull our hair, try to look up our skirts..."
"I know, I used to live there. I was so happy to be moved out. At the time I was anyway. I didn't realise that it rained ALL the time. Mind you, there's a few pretty boys up there too. Not dragon pretty and they're mean."
"Yeah, why is it that you know how evil a yokai is by how attracted you are to him? "
"In that case, we must be angels"

The laughing lasts for a few seconds, until the two realise what they're laughing at and the implications for their love lives.

"God, I'm depressed. I'd love to get closer, but we're not supposed to be seen. And I really don't want to scare him off either."
"I think we could get a little closer. Soon we'll be barely able to see him."
"That makes sense. Let's see if we can sneak up to a closer tree. There's a good one over there."

The scene shifts as two shadows move lightly from tree to tree, pausing briefly before a few death-defying leaps. The land bound figure grows larger as the camera follows the shadows who travel ever closer. The gruesome visage needn't have worried. The gorgeous Dragon (for we can now make out the beautiful features on his noble face) is too preoccupied with freeing himself from the clinging mud to notice the activities in the treetops above him.

"This view is much better" whispers the gruesome visage. The dragon still shows no sign of having noticed their presence, so she continues emboldened. "I think this is the best days minioning I've ever had."
"Minioning?"
"Well, we're minions, so we must minion. We therefore engage in the activity of minioning."
"We're not minions," the second creature sounds offended. "We're spies."
"Spies?"
"We're spying on him right?"
"I dunno, being a spy sounds much cooler than what we're doing now."

The creatures settle, while the dragon fights the mud and continues his slow creep towards the castle.

"Well, it looks like he's definitely heading up towards the castle."
"That's what you came out here to check? Is there anything else around here that would hold the vaguest interest for a dragon?"
"Well, he might have heard of something that we didn't. Unknown prophecies are always dumping the most sacred of items in the midst of the bad guy's stronghold."
"Even if a prophecy did place an item of unknown power out here, how would anyone find it under all this mud?"
"All right. I wanted to get a good look at the dragon before the castle yokai kill him. They have something interesting planned. If he'd by any chance been diverted from the castle, we were supposed to lead him there."
"How? It's not like our chat-up lines would work and he'd beat us in a fair fight."
"I dunno. You might pass for a humble peasant."
"Humble peasants usually wear more clothes."
"Might I ask why...?"
"Oh, the clothing tends to rot right off in this weather and the mud more than covers me. Given that I live in the shadows anyway, no-one's noticed. At least, no-one's said anything."
"Mud and twigs."
"And the odd bit of grass."
"A humble, naked peasant?"
"What's there to farm up here? There's no animal that can feast on mud. Even a pig needs a food source too."
"Dragon's would think of that, wouldn't they?"
"It's said they're smart all right. Else the vast army of yokai would have crushed them aeons ago."
"I dunno, it's hard to get an army of yokai to do anything. Gather even three of them in one place and you usually have a fight. The more powerful ones get bored easily too and see no reason to answer to anyone."
"Yeah. Lord Nadil had a hard time getting some of the powerful ones to agree with his plan. I don't know how Shydeman and Shyredora are managing. They need the Head. Then all will fall into line." She pauses for a moment then adds uncomfortably, "except Kharl the Alchemist."
"Ugh." The creature shivers noticeably. "I'm glad he's not on our side. The last time he "helped" the army, dozens of creatures like us got sacrificed to his experiments."
"I guess a neutral Kharl is the best Kharl."
"I don't like talking about him. I always get the feeling that he's listening every time someone speaks his name."
"Then change the topic. Quickly."

The comfortable darkness grows eerie as the two try to eradicate the thought of Kharl the alchemist from their minds.

"Well, the dragon has gotten infinitesimally closer to his goal."
"Should we keep calling him 'the dragon'?"
"What?"
"I dunno. It just feels as though, we've been watching him for so long, maybe we should name him?"
"Like a pet? Why do you want to name the dragon?"
"It just seems a little disrespectful."
"And calling him Poochie or Bubbles is not?"
"I wouldn't call him Poochie. Or Bubbles. He'd have a good name, a noble name. A proper dragon name."
"And typical dragon names are...?"
"I dunno. It'd have to be two syllables. One just isn't classy enough. Tharg. Nrod. Doesn't fit. Has to be two syllables."
"At least."
"At least."

"Runkfist."
"Eeew. That sounds like an ogre name. Um, something more like Ruuuuu...Rufius."
"Rufius sounds really poncy."
"I know. Glasgow."
"Not poncy enough. How about Tarquin?"
"Are you really trying?"
"Col..temus."
"That's three. Ifran."
"Ifran I like. Not for him, but maybe my newest spawn. He looks like an Ifran."
"Congratulations. How big was he?"
"Twelve pounds, three ounces. He takes after me."
"You should've said something."
"Well, you know how it goes. They pop out.."
"Or slither out."
"...or slither out and it's back to work."

The new mother sighs, pondering the lack of maternity leave in the all new Nadil-less Nadil's Army. Her companion settles herself into the embrace of the trees, glad, for once, that she's still all alone.

"Hey I think the rain's getting worse."
"That's even possible?"
"Well, you know, they say that we need omens like dire weather to presage the downfall of the dragonlord." She looks thoughtfully at the figure that's now slowed to a crawl. "I wonder if they'll let us keep one after the dragonlord dies."
"The line'll be wiped out. They won't want to risk a new dragonlord rising in his place."
"Pity."
"What? That the scourge of our race will be wiped from the face of this earth, never to rise again?"
"Well. He's cute."
"I know. It is a pity."

A trickle of water, having travelled the length of countless leaves, reaches its ultimate goal down the sensitive neck of the speaker.

"Ack. The tree's soaked through. Won't be long before it's as wet here as it is out there."
"Damn. I've got a lot more dragon-watching to do before I can return to the hide."
"Yeah, I'd better go and report to the captain. Discharge my final duty before I knock off for the night."
"You lucky cow."
"Hey, at least you've the lovely dragon to keep you company."
"He's not very talkative though. I haven't heard one word from him. He doesn't even talk to himself. What kind of freak is he?"
"You know, a damn cute scourge-of-our-race that must be wiped out by the yokai of the castle."
"I suppose it is better than watching a bear trawl through mud. A bear that might just be a dragon in disguise."

The restless visitor laughs.

"Don't tell me that you were the one that got stuck watching that situation?"

The eyes in the gruesome visage are rolled splendidly.

"Luckily, I was due to be relieved after only two hours. Poor Cattil had the worst of it."

The visitor stretches and moves silently along the tree branch.

"Well, I'm off. Good luck."
"Goodnight. Say hi to Ifran for me."

With a quick wave, the creature leaves and soon it is only the sound of the dropping rain that gives company to our original subject. She sighs down at the struggling dragon.

"I guess it's just you and me mister. For the long haul."