Dragon Knights Fan Fiction ❯ The Lonely and Unfulfilling Life of a Spy ❯ The Court Martial ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

<scene setting>
Obviously underground. The room's walls are made of earth although it's warm and not damp. A long table sits at the top of the room and there are five chairs behind it. A lone chair faces it, dead centre. The room is completed by several benches, forming the gallery.

<add sound effects>
A bit of muttering and the rustling of papers. There's mostly silence. For now.

<add cast of characters>
The benches are filled with various multi-formed creatures, they're watching the girl sitting in the lone chair and some of them are eating popcorn. The lone chair is filled by Lankmar (Well it is her trial). She doesn't seem unduly worried by the proceedings as she is still preoccupied by her total failure to talk to the dragon. Now the five chairs at the top of the room. The centre chair is filled by a toad-like creature. He has an air of self importance and his military jacket is covered in shiny bits of metal. These may be medals, they may be bottle tops. The chair on the far left is filled by an old yokai. His bread reaches down to his feet and beyond. He appears to be asleep. Beside him is a female yokai who brought her knitting with her. She's not too happy at having been called up for jury duty, but it looks like this may be one of the interesting cases, so she's starting to perk up. On the far right is Rrowlf. He is humanoid, but his features are vaguely cat like. The final chair is taken by a being shrouded in a long cloak. There's always one.
<run story>

The Toad-Like Creature clears his throat and stands up.

"Right, the next matter before us concerns the accused..." he consults some papers in front of him, "...Lankmar. Lankmar, you are charged with conduct unbecoming a minion in the All New Nadil-less Nadil's army. How do you plead?"
"The All New Nadil-less Nadil's army?" It seems that Old Bert, the yokai on the far left has woken up."
"Yes Bert. It's a working title. " The toad seems vaguely uncomfortable, he gestures as he speaks. "I'm sure that when the boss gets back on his feet, it'll go back..."
"What?" Old Bert interrupts. "In my day decapitation meant that you weren't gonna get back up again. It meant semi-permanent retirement and a definite lack of army leading. We should be in the middle of an election now."
"An election? We've never had an election before."
"Sure we have. Before Lord Nadil turned up they were a yearly occurrence. The old boss'd die and then those greedy and stupid enough to want to be in charge started killing each other until only one was left. An election. Whoever survived that was likely to at least last out the year, so they didn't happen continually. Why once, there was even a four year break between elections. That was a golden time."

Old Bert has a permanent place on the Court Martial Board. It keeps him out of the hair of the army superiors and he's due some respect, thanks to his advanced age. Usually he sleeps through all the trials and the Chairman only wakes him up when there's a tie among the rest of the board. Not that that happens too often. Old Bert's decisions tend to be erratic and he usually feels the need to deliver a sermon when he passes judgement. Since he missed the entire trial, they tend to have no bearing on any of the evidence and often depend on what he was dreaming about when he was woken up. A body of myth has developed around Old Bert and there are numerous superstitions over what will sway his vote.
Rrowlf on the far right gets to his feet.

"Chairman, if I may. I have a few questions to ask the accused."

The chairman nods and Rrowlf puts his hands behind his back superciliously and approaches Lankmar.

"Lankmar, what's going on?" He raises his arms to the ceiling. "You're going mad over this dragon guy and yet you don't give me the time of day? That can really hurt a guy's feelings!"

He peers at her closely and then sits down, disgusted at her taste in men. The Chairman, slightly disconcerted, motions Lankmar to answer.

"Well, ahem. You've never shown an interest before. I didn't think you were interested."
"I'd've gotten around to you eventually. You're on my list baby. Hey, how about after this we go and get something to eat, just the two of us."

Lankmar looks at the chairman.

"Is that alright?"

The chairman nods. "Of course, why wouldn't it be? He's a single guy, you're a single girl. Neither of you are hideously unattractive and this trial thing won't take long. Go for it."

Lankmar nods firmly. "Okay then Rrowlf, as long as it's not someplace seedy."

Rrowlf smiles. "Sure thing babe. Sure thing. I can do class. And afterward we can go back to my place and watch the swamp rise."
"Um, not on a first date Rrowlf."
"Okay then, for the record," the chairman speaks to a little creature I hadn't mentioned before. He's sitting on a stool in the corner and scribbling busily into a notebook. "Lankmar agreed to go out with Rrowlf on one date, but she won't go back to his place after." The chairman looks at Rrowlf. "You live on the swamp?"
"I got a nice little flat above the mire. It's home."
"I'm impressed. I wanna move out there some day. Keep an eye out for any empty hollows eh?"
"Sure thing Mister Chairman". Rrowlf does that annoying thing where he pretends to shoot the chairman with his fingers. He's so stuck in the eighties.

The chairman looks left and right down the table.

"Does anyone else want to speak?"

The female yokai beside him, pauses her knitting and looks at Lankmar from above her half moon glasses. "I have a few questions Toad."

The Toad motions toward her.

"Teedie has the floor."
"Right." She places her knitting down on the table in front of her. "I've never met a dragon, are they really as hot as they say?"
Lankmar blushes. "Oh, yes. They are quite attractive, at least the one I saw was. I couldn't imagine a whole castle full of guys as hot as him."
Teedie pushes herself forward. "And you were...nursing him back to health?"
Lankmar nods.
"So did you see his, um, you know?"
"TEEDIE!" Rrowlf jumps to his feet and stares at the knitter in shock. Unfazed, she merely looks at him until he sits down again.
"I DO have the floor. Well girl, speak up."
Lankmar splutters a bit before answering. Her voice is so quiet that no-one can hear a word. The creature on the stool scribbles something down. Toad looks at him. "Notary? What was it that you wrote down? I couldn't hear a blasted word."

The creature blinks and reads back his notes. "Teedie asks the accused if she saw his, um, you know. Rrowlf yelled out "TEEDIE!" and stood up. Teedie stated that she had the floor and asked Lankmar to speak up. Lankmar answered that she had to minister to his wounds and that as far as she could tell, after extensive analysis, his, um, you know was not damaged in any way."

The court room fills with silence. It's finally broken by Teedie.

"Is that a yes or a no?"

Lankmar's blush spreads until it covers her entire body.

"Yes or no?"

She stares at the ground beside her foot with great interest.

"Yes. Or. No?"

Meekly she nods. The court breathes again. The gallery starts talking, the popcorn is long finished, but one poor guy who'd gone out for a refill is desperately trying to find out what he missed. The court hushes again as Teedie opens her mouth for her next question.

"Did you touch it?"

Uproar fills the court. No-one can believe that she actually asked that question. A few other knitting wielding old biddies nod sagely as if that's what they'd ask if they were up there. Some higher class ladies can't believe that such a common creature would dare do such a thing, although privately they admit that they'd do the same. Several wide boys are jealous of Rrowlf's date with Lankmar and are bribing the officials to find out her address. Everyone assumes that they already know the answer, although, of course, according to the rules of the court, the accused must answer any question put to her.

Lankmar's blush, by this stage is a bright red aura that extends several feet beyond her body.

"It was an accident."

Teedie sits back with a satisfied smile on her face. She picks up her knitting and makes several mistakes with it before she finally gets the knack again. The gallery cheer and yell as she does so. Two youngish yokai at the back are holding up hastily-made signs. One reads Go Lankmar, the other, Teedie for Boss. Both are noisily ejected from the courtroom and placed on the list for the days hearings.

Toad eyes Teedie.

"Any more questions Teedie?"

"No Toad, although I do have a comment. It's obviously a bad idea to use female creatures to spy on male dragons. I recommend further study on the matter and volunteer to watch as many dragons as the Army sees fit."

Several among the crowd also volunteer. They are also ejected, one by one, until the volunteering stops. The empty seats are quickly filled by observers from the reserve list waiting outside. The Toad looks at his fellow Board Members. To his right Old Bert appears to be falling asleep again and Teedie is smugly knitting away, her mind on other things. On his other side Rrowlf has his arms folded and appears to be quite upset. He is refusing to look at Lankmar, but she hasn't noticed yet that he's pointedly ignoring her. This is upsetting him even more. The Hooded Yokai is inscrutable.

"Hooded Yokai, is there anything that you want to add to the proceedings?"

A voice emerges from the hood.

"I was told there would be pie."

The Toad pauses for a moment. It's hard to gauge the intentions of people if you can't see their faces.

"There will be pie. Once we've passed judgement on Lankmar here," he indicates the girl. The Hooded Yokai inclines his head and says nothing further. "Does anyone on the board have any further questions to put to the accused?"

"Toad." Old Bert speaks again. "What are the facts of the case?"
"Ah yes," says Toad. He readjusts his jacket in the Picard manoeuvre. "I should have stated them at the start of the Trial, but here can't hurt." He rustles through the papers in front of him and pulls out a grubby sheet. "The facts of the case are that Lankmar here, a minion in the All New Nadil-less Nadil's army, was assigned in the second period of the eighth day of this month to observe and observe only, a suspected dragon incursion into yokai lands. Said suspected dragon was reported as an actual dragon by Douhna, another minion, almost immediately. The yokai in the castle in that area were warned and they prepared an ambush for the dragon's arrival. According to the accounts of those who examined the castle on the tenth day in accordance with direction 66542-X, nearly all the yokai in the castle were destroyed. Hunters are currently working on re-enacting the scene and working out exactly what happened. The dragon was then discovered in the home of the accused, apparently being cared for by Lankmar herself. The dragon unfortunately escaped before a team from the Army arrived, but enough evidence was found of his stay to allow this Court-martial to take place."
"So it's another case of dragon infatuation?"
"That appears to be it."

Old Bert sighs. "I thought we'd gotten rid of that six years ago. I guess it can't be helped. Go on Toad." He waves his hands at the chairman. "Let's get to the next part."

Toad clears his throat. "Does any member of the board have final questions to put to the accused, Lankmar, before sentencing?" The board remains silent. "Are there any Honoured Members in the gallery with questions or comments?" The gallery's Honoured Members remain anonymous. "I now call upon the members of the board to reveal their verdicts."

Rrowlf stands. He glares at Lankmar. "Guilty."
"Rrowlf?" Lankmar's a little unnerved at his verdict. "You do realise that if I'm found guilty then I won't be able to go on our date."
"Oh." The conflict plays itself out on Rrowlf's face, hurt feelings fighting his libido. The eighties man makes the only choice available. "Not Guilty." The scribe dutifully writes this down.

The Hooded Yokai stands. "Guilty."

Teedie stands. "Not guilty." She looks down at Lankmar. "Us girls have to stick together and you couldn't help what was happening. It was wossname, hormones."

Old Bert then attempts to get to his feet, however he swiftly falls back down as his beard is now entangled in Teedie's knitting.

"Ah," says Teedie. "I thought the texture was different. Hang on a second and I'll cut you out."
"Cut me out? No stop, how dare you?" He struggles with Teedie as she tries to pull a small scissors from her handbag. "This beard has been in my family for almost as long as I have. It's taken years to grow, you can't just cut if off, undo your knitting."
"Undo my knitting?" This is almost as big a blow to Teedie as the suggestion of beard-loss to Old Bert. "Do you know how many rows I got done? No, I might drop stitches!"
"Your stitches are nothing compared to my beard! Let go! Unpick those stitches!"

The struggle between the two is even until Teedie clouts Old Bert in the back of the head with her handbag. Luckily Bert's beard is saved by Toad who points out that setting convicts the punishment of doing her knitting is permitted by Rule of the Court, Directive 496652 - K and that a Mrs. G. Unistice, a noted member of the local knitting circle, is next on the list.

Old Bert finally stands for his verdict. "Guilty," he sighs. "We can't have dragon infatuation spreading again. What if someone tries to resurrect the Dragon Fan Club? No. Guilty, guilty, guilty."

Toad stands. "It is unusual for me to give the final verdict in a tied case, but I guess that today, the burden rests with me. Lankmar, you were indeed a victim of dragon infatuation and cannot be held accountable for your actions. However, other yokai need to be protected from your sickness. The law is quite clear and dragon infatuation is a crime. The DFC must never rise again. I find you guilty of conduct unbecoming a minion in the All New Nadil-less Nadil's Army and sentence you to the maximum punishment possible under our laws. You are hereby expelled from the All New Nadil-less Nadil's Army and cast out from yokai lands...Forever."